Season 4 MissingSark/CJ recap

Last night’s episode was CRAZY!! That was definitely the best episode of the entire season!! I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so much during an alias episode. It definitely didn’t help having Jaymee and Quon watching with me, though. They scream all the freakin time. Like when a cell phone next to them starts vibrating. The worse was down in New Orleans for Mardi Gras when they started screaming in the middle of the night because they thought a ghost tucked them into bed by putting the blanket over them. So weird. Anywayz, it was totally scary last night. Very resident evil part 2 - ish. <that movie is awesome by the way> Kudos to the writers and directors and especially the special effect….umm…-ors for making last night’s scenes possible. I loved the whole hour of the show and last week’s too. AND for me, it just about makes up for the entire season 4, which has been fairly mediocre in my opinion. <well at least compared to the previous seasons> I loved Lena Olin coming back. DUDE. She’s old AND hot. I feel bad for her non-hot sisters. They are just old. Haha….sorry Isabella and Sonia. I loved those funny frat boy scenes with Weiss and Marshall. I loved how Vaughn died at the end. Or whatever. I loved how Sark was NOT in the last episode. <jk, MissingSark> I know you are currently writing a 10 page complaint letter to the writers of Alias for not including him or even acknowledging his presence in the series. I think he got knocked down to Extra status…he’s probably hanging out with broke a$$ don cheadle and dr. sandy hands in some bar watching the season finale wondering how they’re going to pay rent next week.

Alright, sorry for the long intro. Let me get this last recap of the season on the ball. Hope you guys enjoyed the recaps this year.

So the show starts off exactly how last week’s ended. With this awesome scene of the Bristow clan <plus not-Vaughn> preparing for a jump. Should I start calling him that? I’ll just call him Vaughn for this last recap. So this is just an awesome beginning. They all strap on their helmets and just jump out of the plane and end in this V formation flying straight into this city with the giant sphere of life floating over it. The special effects were awesome here. You see the giant sphere, the city, and a V formation of flying Bristows heading to the city. It was kinda sci-fi ish here. But it was rad.

Okay so the scenario here if you didn’t remember from last episode was Hottya’s terror aunt Yelena and Sloane are now in cahoots and have taken over the city of Sevogda. And everyone has turned into Rambaldi zombies and have started killing each other. Eating each others brains or whatever it is that Rambaldi zombies do. <CJ, I think they tattoo the number 47 on each other.> I’ll just call them Ramzombies for short. So pretty much the entire town are Ramzombies. And have managed to kill the non-Ramzombies. Russia has managed to contain what’s been happening by sending a strike team to annihilate the city. Then they are going to blame Canada or something. Saying they caused a nuclear melt down or whatever. So ADP and Marshall are tasked with delaying the strike back at the xMansion while the rest of the team is figuring a way to safely shut down the sphere of life.

The Bristow-Derevko-Vaughn team lands right in the middle of the city. Streets are deserted. They are waiting for a team that is supposed to meet up with them so they can lead them to the building that is powering the sphere of life. The team never shows up. But Syd finds them on some tracker thing and is able to find out that they are only a block and a half away. They head over. One guy pops around the corner. It’s that junior agent from the very first episode of this season that Syd tricked everyone into believing she got kicked out of CIA to join APO. Is he a junior agent? I just think he is cuz he looks like he’s still in college and I think his voice cracks every now and then. So yea, he pops around the corner and is like “Bristow? I thought you quit. Look what you did to my ear.” He says the Ramzombies travel in packs. And they took out his entire team. <your team sucks> He gives them the intel they need which is which building to get to. And that there’s no power cuz they shut off the city grid. Irina says that there’s an internal power supply. Whatever that means. Syd suggests they take the subway there. They just need some juice. They all head to the subway station.
<on the side, it’s kinda hanging out there that the prophecy for Rambaldi is that the passenger and the chosen one have to battle each other that day and only one of them is going to survive. He also predicts that horses will wander Russian cities and angels will fall from the sky….or something like that> Irina sees a horse. She points it out to Crazy Jack. CJ quietly says “damn. You win.”. Gives Irina 20 bucks. Says “I’ve got 40 that my daughter kills Sloane’s daughter.” Irina says “Make it 80 and you got yourself a bet.”
Agent Extra leads the way. Opens some door for them to lead them down to the subway. Syd comments that she’s surprised he got another spot on the show, the season finale nonetheless, and is wondering how long he is going to last before…….SPLAT! A Ramzombie shoves a long pole into Agent Extra’s chest. They shoot the Ramzombie. Bye Agent Extra. <Those Ramzombie’s must be hard to kill because Syd and Hottya were spraying him with bullets from their semi-automatic weapons. Now that’s what I call overkill.>


They head down to the subway. Syd and Hottya go hit some switches somewhere outside the car. Irina and Vaughn work on the brakes beneath the car. CJ concentrates on diverting power to the train from inside. So while Syd and Hottya are hitting the switches, they talk about how they love each other and don’t want to kill each other. Kind of a weird conversation to have but I guess not so weird considering everything else that goes on in their lives on a daily basis. Syd tells her that she’s the maid of honor for her wedding to Vaughn. Hottya comments “you’re marrying that pansie?” Irina and Vaughn are having a heart to heart while bleeding the brake fluids. She suggests to him that if she doesn’t want to end up like her and CJ, he shouldn’t be so secretive with Syd. <what the hell is she talking about? Does she know about his and ADP’s love affair too?> Vaughn just stays quiet. CJ is chilling in the train working on the power thing when a cell phone goes off. Daym. Russia must have mega-Verizon. You can get calls from the subway??? So he answers the phone. It’s a woman and says “Leonid? Thank the vodka you are alright.” CJ casually says “Leonid’s dead. And you’re wasting his minutes.” And hangs up….hahaha…CJ’s awesome!! Back to Hottya and Syd. One of the switches isn’t catching. She says they have to do it manually. Syd heads back to the train. Hottya goes down the tracks to take care of the last switch. They are all aboard the Ramzombie express. CJ manages to start the train. Power is on and it’s starting up. Irina asks where Hottya is. Syd says “she’s not here??” Hottya is shown working on the last switch when she hears noises…”braaaaaaainn. Braaaaain.” Oh s**t. Run, woman!!! Hottya manages to hit the switch when a bunch of Ramzombies start coming after her. She’s shooting shooting. And running. The train is moving moving. The team opens the back door. Vaughn starts shooting the Ramzombies and Hottya is slowly catching up to the train. <this train must be slow as hell if you can run up to it. They always do it in movies though> So Syd’s fingertips are practically touching Hottya’s….when wham! A Ramzombie tackles Hottya. The rest of the Ramzombies attack her and start eating her brain. Syd screams to stop the train but CJ can’t because the brakes don’t work because some pansie son in law broke them or something.

Back to Xmansion. ADP and Marshall are apparently in charge and have no clue what they are doing but are trying their hardest. This was the comedy relief of the episode. Marshall figures that he can hack into the Russian Milsat system and delay the missile strike. ADP says no, that would be illegal. Marshall says it’s the end of the world and he doesn’t care. ADP says “good point. Get on it.” They also figure out that someone in Sevogda is trying to broadcast over a closed network but I’m not sure what that means. ADP and Marshall are freaking out about it so I’m assuming that it’s a bad thing. They figure that this must be the work of Elena.


Sevogda. Yelena sends Sloane down with a team to take out the team. Sloane is leading the assault team?? Haha…you’re kidding right? He’s like 100 years old. There’s no power. He’s going to walk all those stairs? I can’t even go up or down like 20 flights without passing out. She tells him to ask Hottya if she is interested in becoming evil any time soon. He says he’ll ask her. So yea he goes down to the subway terminal to intercept. When he gets down there, he starts opening fire at something. The train stops. The team gets out. Sees Sloane there with a whole team of dead soldiers. He pretty much pulled a “Code 66” on them. Have you guys seen Star Wars 3 yet? They walk out and Sloane tells them all this intel and starts barking orders at them claiming to be in cahoots to find out the real plan to her endgame when WHAM! CJ knocks him out! Haha….awesome! Sloane is out cold. And CJ casually says “You are not in charge of this team anymore.” Duuuude. That was so rad! Sloane got knocked the f*ck out! Syd laughs and says “heh….my dad just knocked your dad out, Nad-……….…oh yea. The Ramzombies got you. Your dad’s still a loser.”


Talking with Marshall, it’s revealed that Elena’s using the Russian satellite to broadcast the frequency that the Red Ball’s giving off around the world so everyone who drank the Evil Water will become Ramzombies. She wanted the air strike to take place because that will ensure that the frequency will be broadcasted around the world. So, the SpyFamily and Vaughn and Sloane have to get to the building to shut it done. CJ wants Sloane to take them to the building so they can dismantle the Red Ball. Irina knows which wire to cut, but Sloane says that Elena’s changed the wiring as a failsafe so Irina wants Sloane to take her to Elena. Sloane wants to know where Hottya is. Syd: “She got her brain eaten by the Ramzombies and it’s all your fault!”

Cut to Hottya who’s blasting ramzombies. I feel like I’m watching some B Horror flick only people are using semi-automatic weapons to fight the zombies rather than sticks or something. She gets away somehow. Man, Hottya’s tough! She was practically covered in Ramzombies but she managed to fight them off! She’s walking through the rubble and sees an angel on the ground. Uh-Oh! More foreshadowing! Then we hear this guy is whining and crying about his leg. He wants Hottya to help him, but then he pulls a gun on Hottya. He’s going to take her to Elena. So, Hottya can overpower 47 Ramzombies who are trying to eat her brain, but this goon can take her with a gun?

Cut to Hottya’s who’s tied up. Elena’s approaching. She says that she never wanted to hurt Hottya, but she’s going to. Elena: “I’ve always thought of you as her daughter.” Hottya doesn’t like this talk. Elena wants Hottya to join her and embrace her future greatness or some felgercarb like that. <Wait! Is the Alias or Star Wars? I’m a bit confused!> Hottya: “You’re right! I can see my future! In a few minutes, I’m going to rip your guts out and wear them as a headdress!” Elena doesn’t like this comment and hits her. Hottya says that she will never turn on Sydney and that Elena is nothing to her. Elena pulls out a syringe. She’s going to infect Hottya, making her a ramzombie. Poor Hottya. It was nice having you on the show. We should have known that you wouldn’t last. No female lasts longer than one season – except for Francie and she got a bullet in the head in the middle of S2. Elena proceeds to inject right in the Rambaldi brand that evil Francie gave her.

Cut to Syd, strutting away to the roof with Vaughn chasing after her. He wants to come too. Vaughn: “I want to be on the roof with you when you fail and we all die.” What a vote of confidence, Vaughn! That’s exactly what she needed to hear! Syd: “No way! You always screw things up. Ummm, I mean….we all remember what happened the last time you were near that red ball! But just in case, I will marry you!” Vaughn gives her the ring, which Syd thinks is perfect like Vaughn. Whatever. There is no such thing as the perfect man – unless he’s a cardboard cutout. The ring is shaped like the symbol of Rambaldi. Okay it’s not. But how funny would it have been if it was??

Xmansion Room of Comic Relief. Marshall’s trying to stop the satellite feed, but it’s not going as quickly as he’d like. Marshall calls Carrie and says that he loves her. ADP has no one to call cause his honey’s a ramzombie now. He thinks about how much he misses Vaughn.

The SpyFamily arrives at Elena’s evil hangout and overpowers her. Cut to the roof where Syd’s getting ready to cut wires. She sees Hotya, but Hottya’s a ramzombie now. Syd says that she doesn’t want to hurt Hottya. CJ wants to know what’s going on. Syd says that Hottya’s there. She’s infected and is now guarding the device. CJ says: “Take her out!” Syd: “I can’t she’s my sister!” Irina: “Not anymore!” Syd says: “I know.” Nevertheless, Syd’s trying to talk to Zombya, who’s not listening because she’s a Zombie. They start fighting. Zombya is choking Syd, who manages to beat her off. Zombya pulls a gun on Syd and tries to shoot her. Cut to Irina who realizes that Sloane’s gone up to the roof and she sends Vaughn after him. <Irina! I know that you’ve been MIA for a while, but sending Vaughn?!? Do you want Sydney to die?> Cut to the roof. Syd has overpowered Zombya and ties her up. Irina starts talking Syd through the process of cutting the wires, but the wires are different colors so Irina doesn’t know which one to cut. Irina wants to Elena to tell her which wire to cut. Elena says that she’ll withstand whatever torture Irina throws at her because she’s super tough. Irina: “I’m not going to torture you. CJ is.” CJ’s eyes suddenly brighten up and he is as giddy as a little schoolgirl. “He doesn’t like you very much ever since you tricked him into killing my clone.” CJ: “I’m looking forward to this. I’ve decided that I haven’t had enough fun this season. It’s been so long since I’ve tortured someone and I might as well start with my TerrorSisterInLaw.” CJ’s practically drooling. CJ’s going to inject Elena with the Ramzombie fluid so she’ll become one too. He jabs the needle into her neck. Elena: “No please! Have mercy! Cut the white wire!” Irina: “Thanks Sis!” Bang! Irina shoots her in the head and says: “Cut the blue.” DAYM! Do NOT mess with those Derevko’s. Like I said. Crazy b!tches. Syd starts to do so, but then Zombya attacks Syd, choking her with a chain. <Quon and Jaymee start screaming> Then a gun is fired. Sloane shot Zombya! Vaughn arrives and picks her up - she’s not dead yet of course. Syd cuts the wire and the ball evaporates. They get into an elevator as the building’s falling apart and the water’s flowing. They make it to Elena’s place and shut the door which holds against the water.

Amidst the Romantic Rubble, Irina and CJ have a moment. Irina: “I’m supposed to go with you so I can get locked up for the rest of my life.” CJ: “If you leave now, you can be long gone before the extraction team arrives. I’ll make up some story that no one in their right mind will believe about how you got away.” They have a kiss. Aww! Very sweet. CJ: “Don’t forget that Season 5 starts in a few months!” Irina: “I’ll be back!” <Okay, that last part didn’t happen but Irina is going to come back and they are going to hook up again. Their love is undeniable.>

Now it’s time for a Mother/Daughter chat amidst the rubble. Irina: “Take care of your Zombie Sister.” Syd: “Okay.” Irina: “You’ve fulfilled your responsibility as the Chosen One to take down the greatest evil. Good job! Maybe now we can talk about something else besides Rambaldi. Like how hot your dad looks in that black arm thing he’s wearing!” Syd chooses to ignore this last comment. Irina: “You may not see me on your wedding day, but I’ll see you!” <I guess all the Derevko women are semi-stalkerish.> Then Irina disappears into the moonlit rubble. It’s all very glamorous.

The Jail Cell of Recovering Rambaldaholics. Sloane’s in jail and Syd comes to visit him. She says that Hottya’s stable and they are in the process of trying to find a cure for her zombie-ness. Sloane blames himself for everything that’s happened. Syd says that they will get Hottya back. (Not if the spoilers I’ve read are true.) Syd’s arranged for Sloane to see Hottya. Syd: “I believe that you were trying to do the right thing.” Wow! So Sloane must really be good! Huh! Who'd a thunk it?

Santa Barbara: The Land of Crooked-Necked Giraffes and Cheesy Marriage Proposals. Vaughn and Syd are in a car. Syd’s talking about eloping and getting married on the beach. <That’s just wrong, Syd! You’re not going to invite your dad?!? That man exposed himself to lethal amounts of radiation, hallucinated a doctor that could cure him, and shot himself up with drugs all in the name of love for you, you ungrateful daughter! Next time your skin’s about to be melted off, you are on your own!> Vaughn thinks that’s a good idea. Syd says that she loves him. Vaughn loves her too which is why he wants to confess something. Syd says that she can handle anything as long as he’s not a bad guy. Vaughn hesitates. He says that it was no accident that she came to him with the SD-6 story in the pilot. Syd’s confused: “Vaughn, what are you telling me?” Vaughn: “Well, for starters, my name’s not Michael Vaughn.” CRASH! A car crashes into the driver’s side! Things don’t look good for the happy couple - in more ways than one! Will they survive this horrible car crash? Who was driving that vehicle? Was it a crazy, drunk Rambaldi freak? Will Syd still want to marry Vaughn or whoever the heck he is? Will it be revealed that Not Vaughn’s name is really Captain Fantastic or will it be Milo Rambaldi? Does this mean that Not Vaughn was only “pretending” to be dumb all this time? Whatever happened to Dixon? Did he marry that CIA Direct-hoar? Will Zombya try to eat Sloane’s brain? Will Sark ever come back and more importantly, will he bring limes with him when he does?

So that’s it for the MissingSark/CJ recaps for the year. Hope you all enjoyed! Please send your annual subscription payment one month prior to season 5 premiere. Until next year!
 
Yay!!!! I loved it! These are going to be a long few months with no eppy on Wed and recap on Thurs to look foward to. :(

Does anyone know when they'll repeat last night's episode. Or when S4 is being released on DVD?
 
I think we should call him "The Agent Formerly Known as Vaughn"

or AFKAV *lol* okay back to reading...


(y) (y) CJ/Missing Sark...

I loved the part about the Jail Cell of Recovering Rambalaholics...

Maybe now we can talk about something else besides Rambaldi. Like how hot your dad looks in that black arm thing he’s wearing!”

No doubt. Aside of that one ear that sticks out a lot in certain scenes that man is a fox. :rolleyes:

<I guess all the Derevko women are semi-stalkerish.> Then Irina disappears into the moonlit rubble. It’s all very glamorous.

spymommy rules. :Ph34r: Although I never took her for the lurking type at her own daughter's wedding.

<That’s just wrong, Syd! You’re not going to invite your dad?!? That man exposed himself to lethal amounts of radiation, hallucinated a doctor that could cure him, and shot himself up with drugs all in the name of love for you, you ungrateful daughter! Next time your skin’s about to be melted off, you are on your own!>

Good point. :up:
 
Thanks guys. I'm glad you enjoyed the recaps. They were fun to write.

Regarding the Mardi Gras comment in the intro: You have some freakin' weird friends, CJ.
 
hey i am on the middle of reading - can't believe i have never found time to read them before cos this is hilarious - but i must ask - what does weiss's initials ADT stand for?? anything to do wiht donuts ?? :lol:


eta: dont poop :lol:

omg that was hilarious :rotflmao:

i loved

ADP has no one to call cause his honey’s a ramzombie now. He thinks about how much he misses Vaughn. (poor weiss) :lol:

great review - i shall have to track back over the previous ones sometime when ig et over the finale shock :smiley:
 
It's ADP which stands for Agent Don't Poop. That harkens back to his comment to Vaughn (CIA) about why he shouldn't have married Lauren (NSC). "Don't poop where you sleep."
 
MissingSark said:
It's ADP which stands for Agent Don't Poop.  That harkens back to his comment to Vaughn (CIA) about why he shouldn't have married Lauren (NSC).  "Don't poop where you sleep."
[post="1357162"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]​

haha...doughnuts!! i knew we should've gone back to calling him agent fat a$$....
 
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