Horror Monster Killing Handbook


An Old Friend
Dec 6, 2004
Gulf Coast
Let's create a Monster Killing Handbook that people can use to kill the monster.
Tips, techniques and strategies to end the monster terror once and for all.

Disclaimer: This hand book is designed for dispatching Earth-based monsters only.
All bets are off if your monster is of alien origin.

It is critical to know the design of the monster you face.
Most important of these observations is the head.

Does it have a mouth?
Does it have eyes and ears?

Chances are, if the head possess eyes, ears and a mouth and is positioned on a neck,
the head has a brain inside and there is a nerve distribution system extending down the neck to the rest of the body.

Does it yell or scream?
If it yells, you are probably dealing with a male monster, if it screams, a female monster.
Silent monsters can be either gender.

Does it roll, slither, crawl, walk or hop?
This observation can affect your aim and requires different techniques for your shot to be effective.
Does it have appendages?

Does its appendages have limitations to their range of mobility?
Does it always attack immediately or does it need to be provoked?
Does it eat or just kill?
If it eats you, chances are it needs to burn calories, which indicates it can become fatigued.
Does it have blind spots?
Blind spots can indicate it has vulnerability because it is limited to directional movement but may also indicate it had very fast reactions. Best to test the blind spots to see if it is vulnerable or highly reactive.
This information will help you determine the correct method to effectively kill it. It does no good to sneak up on a monster that can turn faster than you can strike.
Does it have hair?
If it has hair, hair burns. Fire can be an effective weapon.
If it has scales, chances are it is sluggish in the morning, fire makes it quicker. Cold could be the effective weapon.
Is it air, land or water based?
Knowing this will allow you to set your traps so it affords you natural protection against an ambush monster strike. It may also provide a hostile environment to which you can trap your monster.
Is your monster equipped with a projectile assault?
Long sticky tongue, caustic spit, sharp tail, that kinda thing?

Does it heal quickly or regenerate?
This observation is vital to the method of extermination's effectiveness.
Is it radioactive?
Not only is this observation vital for your armor, it can also be key to an effective weapon.

In addition to these fundamental observations, it is also important to note if it is a lone monster or a group of monsters that you face. If there are multiple monsters, chances are you will need to seek out and also destroy the queen or master monster in order to end the threat completely.