here is the article:
"So MR. DROOLWORTHY 2003:
Ladies Favorite:
Michael Vartan That's right, thanks to a stunning turn out by the Vartan Ho's Michael beat out all commers, slapping them around like the he-man-*****es they are. Well done ladies, I hope he visits each one of you and makes the sex spilling his seed into your bellies where it finds purchase. Ahem. All Hail Mr. Droolworthy 2003!"