MTV Present: The Donovan Diaries

[sugababyboo]

Donovan Diaries
Disclaimer-MTV owns the show, while JJ and ABC owns Donovan and other Alias characters.
Summary-This fic is how I would think MTV would do a episode of Diary about Donovan. Mind you that he's barking but subtitles appear on the screen to translate his dog speak. You'll get what I'm saying when I post the first entry.
Rating-R for language
A/N-I wrote this fic two years ago, so keep that in mind when reading. Also, I am not anti-Will I just love his "HOOH" scream.

7.15.02
"Today some blond guy w/ glasses took my bling bling, so, I bit him. Never, ever, try to take my bling bling." Then it shows footage of Will taking his bling bling "HOOH!" "After a hard day of saving the world with my master Mike. I like to come home and spend some time w/ my lady, Lola. At the end of the day, I'm just like a regular dog, with a bowl of corn chips and beer. Me and my lady cuddle and watch Animal Planet. Now this, is what I call heaven." It shows footage of Lola and Donovan cuddling in front of the TV.

7.16.02
"People don't know this about me, but I am a great breakdancer. Whenever I'm not saving the world with the CIA or not cuddling w/ my lady Lola, I break dance. I take out my piece of cardboard, throw on my velcro sneakers and just dance my ass off." Footage of Donovan break dancing on Rodeo Drive is shown, with people watching and cheering. "Now while I'm dancing, my master(Mike)holds a stereo and bobs his head to the music. After that, him, Eric, Sydney and my posse(Lola and Meatball) we get dressed and hang out at The Standard. I must admit a number of ladies do try to get close to me, but Lola will have none of that! So, that's what I like to do in my free time."


7.18.02
"People think I'm just born w/ this great figure of mine. I have to work my ass off just to maintain this chubby yet healthy body. Besides, I want to look good for my lady Lola. Today, I went to the gym with Mike and Sydney. I really like her, she gives me beef jerky when Mike isn't looking. And, she really makes him happy." Footage of Donovan wearing sweat bands on his wrists and head while he's running on a treadmill is shown. Sydney and Vaughn are also working out. "Me and Lola got in a fight today. We were watching tv and that Kibbles and bits comercial came on, the one w/ the bulldog. She was checking him out and I called her out. She said she wasn't even watching the comercial, whichs is lie b/c I saw that drool running down her face. Then she brought back the story when I was caught checking out a Lassie look like. That's when our fight ended. We kissed and made up, man I love her."
This entry is really risque!!!


7.18.02
"I know it's eleven clock right now, but I just had to say this. I'm traumatized forever. I woke up for some munchies and on my way to the kitchen I walked by the livingroom and um..Mike was with Sydney. I froze, they weren't wearing any clothing and they were really sweaty. I was confused, I sat down cocked my head to the side and barked 'Woof?' Footage of Donovan sitting down and cocking his head to the side is shown. Along with barking a confused, Woof. "When they realized I was in the room Vaughn said, "Donovan get out of here, and take the camera with you!" I whimpered and ran back to my room. I don't why Mike would ask Sydney who her daddy was, he knows who Jack is. I think (As Eric would say) that they were having some lovin'. I'll never be the some dog again. As I sit here talking to you, I'm traumatized but most of all I got no munchies. So I'm traumatized and hungry. Good night all, I'm going to try to sleep now."
I'm sorry guys this entrty isn't very funny.


7.19.02
"I'm a good dog, I like help to out animals who aren't as fortunate as me. There was this celebrity golf tournament, all the proceeds would go to the bestfriends organization which is a orphanage for animals. There were two teams the cast of the amazing show Alias and their fans, the cast of Dark Angel and their fans. Being the dog with all the connections, I got myself and my posse on the Alias team. As both teams played side by side, there was some smack talking coming from a few fans form the Dark Angel team not all the fans just a few of them. A fan named girl_with_attitude called JG a b**** and no one does that to my girl JG. So when no one was looking I grabbed a golf club with my mouth and flung at her. She was knocked out cold. One Alias fan named pennylane petted me on the head and said, 'Good dog.'" Footage of Donovan wearing a golfing outfitt and throwing the golf club at that jealous fan is shown. "They started yelling at me but my bestbud Michael Vartan came in my defense. He said, "Guys, how can Donovan throw a golf club if he has no thumbs to hold it!" From then on that little group of bitter Dark Angel fans kept on smack talking. So, me, Meatball, and my lady Lola had some fun. Lola made a puddle on getto smurf's shoe b/c she critizied for JG for breatihng too hard when she runs. DoubleAgent gave her a treat for that. Me and my boy Meatball aired the tires out of AlsoKnownAsDAlives and Raven Gray's golf cart. Also, we tore holes in those golfing shorts they were wearing. trypto and clarissima promised to buy us dinner and petted our heads. Of course the Alias team won, but the real winners of the day was the bestfriends organization we raised $500,000 dollars!!! Overall, it was a great day!" Footage of Donovan, Meatball, and Lola causing this destruction is shown.

 

[mystery_chick]

7.18.02
"I know it's eleven clock right now, but I just had to say this. I'm traumatized forever. I woke up for some munchies and on my way to the kitchen I walked by the livingroom and um..Mike was with Sydney. I froze, they weren't wearing any clothing and they were really sweaty. I was confused, I sat down cocked my head to the side and barked 'Woof?' Footage of Donovan sitting down and cocking his head to the side is shown. Along with barking a confused, Woof. "When they realized I was in the room Vaughn said, "Donovan get out of here, and take the camera with you!" I whimpered and ran back to my room. I don't why Mike would ask Sydney who her daddy was, he knows who Jack is. I think (As Eric would say) that they were having some lovin'. I'll never be the some dog again. As I sit here talking to you, I'm traumatized but most of all I got no munchies. So I'm traumatized and hungry. Good night all, I'm going to try to sleep now."
I'm sorry guys this entrty isn't very funny.

:lol: :rotflmao: OMFG :sideroll: :laughbounce: hehehe *dies laughing* omg hehehehe Especially that part. It was hilarious! :lol: :rotflmao:
--Mandy

 

[sugababyboo]

7.20.02
"Besides being a spydog, a great break dancer, a golfer, and a lover I'm also a DJ. DJ Donovan, that's my name. I had this gig at my favorite place in Los Angeles, The Standard. Of course Lola and my posse were there, it was a costume party. Sydney brought two of her friends, Will and Francie. Francie is a total sweetheart she gives me treats whenever Mike brings me to her restaurant. Will on the other hand, he tried to take my bling bling and no one ever tries to take my bling bling. Anyways, as I sat at my bench behind the turntables I realized that I didn't have my bling bling. So I called Lola to get and walked over and placed it on my neck. Except it was too heavy and I fell off my bench! Lola took it off and put on another necklace that wasn't as heavy. I climbed back on my bench and kept on playing the music." Footage of Donovan falling off his nech is shown. "My god, Will can't dance if his life depended on it! He was dressed up as Nelly the rapper and he danced too hard that his bling bling whacked him in the head! He was out cold for an hour." Footage of Will getting whacked by his own bling bling (necklace) is shown. "So, Lola, Meatball and myself decided to have a little fun. Mike took over the one and two's for me when I went to the back room w/ Lola and Meatball. We brought Will along too. We took off his clothes put him on a skateboard and pushed out onto the dance floor. The music stopped and everyone stared at him. At that moment, he woke up and when he realized that he was naked he screamed, "HOOH!" And ran out of there. I'm must say, it was a pretty fun night." Footage of Will screaming is shown. Of course his nude body is blurred out.


7.21.02
"I play a lot of roles in my life, a DJ, a golfer, a fan of Alias, a great dancer, a CIA agent, an athlete, a lover and a friend. You've seen all of me. Now, I would like to take this time to thank all people in my life. Eric, you're my beer buddy and my corn chip smuggler. You're funny as hell and you always let me watch football with you. You're my homie. Sydney, you spoil me worser than Eric and that's why I love you. You're beautiful in every way. That's why Mike loves you so much. Any girl that makes him happy, couldn't be that bad I'm just kidding, I love ya Syd. Lola, you're my bestfriend and a great cuddler. You're the most beautiful creation God ever created. I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
"I'm sorry I had to go guys, Sydney and Eric came over with beef jerky, corn chips and beer. Where was I? Oh, Lola, that's right. She's everything to me. Besides God, I would also like to thank the Osbournes for letting her stay over here. Ozzy and Sharon, you two rock! Last but definitely not least, Mike. Man, before I was just a lonely pup on the streets. Then, one day him and his girlfriend at the time (Alice) picked me off the streets. She told him to just leave me there for dead, but Mike refused. He took me into his home and treated me like a king. As the years went on, it just got better and better. An eternity is not long enough for me to thank you for all that you've done for me. Mike, you're my savior, my master and my bestfriend. I am forever grateful. I love you man. There's nothing left to say. Wait, there is. You think you know, but you have no idea. You have just watched the diary of Donovan, how it's like to be a spydog." Footage of Donovan turning off the camera is shown.

the end!

 

[berry_kyoote_spy88]

FUNNY!!! LMAOROFL!!!