SkyGirl5
Cadet
Ok this is my entry for the Death Fic contest so just to state the obvious - its sad 
Title: My Angel
s/v in alias... no specific time period really
Words: 1760
oh and yeah, its a one parter
I’m sitting here crumpled up on the ground. I don’t care how dirty it is, that’s not important. I don’t care about me; all I care about is her. She’s in my lap. I’m holding her tightly to my chest, hoping that I can hold on; that I can hold her forever. “Please, Syd.” I beg. The tears are forming in my eyes, I can feel them. I know that I have to be strong for her but its hard; so hard because right now I don’t feel very strong at all. “Please Syd, you have to hold on. Just hold on a little longer. Please... please... please...”
Even though I’m whispering I feel that my words are echoing through this cruel world and not being heard by anyone, especially not by God for it is him I sent my prayers to in this moment. I pray he can save my Sydney; only he can.
“Va-Vaughn.” She croaks. Her voice is scratchy and barely audible.
“It’s ok,” I tell her. “I’ve got you. Just... just a few more minutes.” Please, just a few more, I know she can hold on. She has to hold on. Just a few more minutes... please... I look down at her, my vision slightly foggy because of my tears. I blink a few times and a tear falls down from my face and lands on her cheek. She’s propped up in my lap now; her lips are beginning to tremble. I know she’s in pain. I know she’s afraid. God, why can’t I take her pain away? It’s killing me too....
I can see a blue tint in her lips that wasn’t there before. Her skin is turning a milky shade of pale. She’s loosing too much blood I know it. How can I stop it? I look down at my hand that is pressed firmly over her abdominal wound. My hand is crimson and her shirt is already soaked through in a splotchy purple pattern. Blood is beginning to pool outside my hand and drip onto the floor, forming a tiny but ever growing puddle. I try to press I bit tighter, desperately trying to keep this life force inside her body but when I do, she flinches and hisses in pain. “I’m sorry.” I mumble.
“Vaughn... I’m... I’m scared.” She whimpers. A tear pools in the corner of her eye and drifts down the side of her face.
“No, no don’t be scared.” I shake my head. “No, not when I’m here Syd. You never have to be afraid when I’m here.” I tell her. The truth is I’m terrified. I can’t loose her. How can I be without her? “I won’t let you go.” I assure her feebly.
“V-Vaughn.... I... I’m dying...” Her breaths are coming short and fast now. Her whole body is beginning to shake and I can barely stand it.
“NO!” I say, loudly this time. “No... no... no...” I repeat quieter. “No, you’re going to be ok, the medics.... they’re... they’re coming. Just... just hold on Syd, you have to hold on.”
My own hands are beginning to tremble now. I can feel my whole body growing weak. I realize now that I have paid no attention at all to my own safety. Someone could have shot me by now and I would barely have noticed at all. I allow myself to tear my eyes away from hers for only a moment to look around. Everyone is gone.
It was a simple mission. They all are aren’t they? Get in; retrieve item; get out; don’t get caught. But how many missions have I been on? Hundreds. How many have gone as well as that? None. This one was surely no different. We got in; we retrieved the item; we got caught.
We were ambushed; surrounded by the enemy. It happened in the blink of an eye. Just one second, that’s all it takes, and then your life changes forever. There was a gunshot, she went down and I grabbed onto her. The other men fled, but I don’t care. I radioed for back up, I think... did I? Yes, I must have. Where are they? They should be here! Why aren’t they here?!
I feel her convulse in my arms and bring my eyes back to her. Her eyes are filled with fear and that crushes my heart, my heart that belongs to her and only her, into thousands of tiny pieces. “V-Vaughn.” She stutters once more.
“Shh don’t talk Syd. Save your strength.” I say as I stroke her cheek with my one hand. It leaves a thin red streak of her blood that had coated my fingertips.
“Vaughn... ki-kiss me.... one... last time.” She croaks. She gasps for breath a few times as I shake my head violently.
“No, no, no, not the last...” I say as a few tears burn lines down my cheek.
“P-please.” She begs. How can I deny her? She’s begging me. Slowly, I lower my lips to hers and press them against hers. I can feel her try to press back but she’s weak and gasping for air. As I pull back my tongue brushes the edge of my lips, trying to moisten them but I taste the strong, foul, iron taste of blood. My eyes fall to her lips and see that along with their grey-blue color they are lined with crimson on the inside.
“I... I lo-love...y-you.” She whispers. Then she brings up a hand to my cheek. I can see her straining and I know it's hard for her. I nuzzle my face against her hand as she strokes my cheek with her thumb. “My- my husband.” She says with a tiny little smile playing her lips. Every time she calls me her husband, even though it’s been almost three years, still, every time she smiles. Almost as if she’s amazed it’s true. I love her for that.
I nuzzle my face further into her palm and I can feel her cold wedding band up against my jaw line. I turn my head to the side and kiss her palm a few times in succession, closing my eyes as I do so. “I love you, Syd.” I croak. “I love you so please don’t leave ok? I need you.... I need you and-”
I stop suddenly because her hand is no longer against my cheek. It slipped down and flopped violently across her stomach. I look to her lips and see that they too have gone limp. But no! It can’t be! Finally my eyes travel up to hers and see that they are glazed over and staring blankly into nothingness. The ever so vibrant life force that resided in her chocolate brown eyes for thirty five years is gone. There is no spark; no sparkle at all. Just deadness.
I let out a blood curdling scream as I shake her. I shake her and try to pull her back. Why! Why has God taken her from me! He always takes her, but she’s come back before right? She’ll come back this time won’t she?
My hand shoots to her neck to feel for a pulse; nothing. Then I press my ear against her lips and try to listen for any sound of breath, no matter how small; nothing. Finally I burry my head in her chest, sobbing, and trying to hear a heart beat; nothing.
I’m not sure how long I’ve sat here just holding her and sobbing. The blood stopped pouring from her wound. Everything just stopped. I try to stand but my legs are weak. Every part of me is weak. Without her I am nothing.
She is my wife. She is my lover. She is my friend. She is my everything. How can the days pass without her? How can I wake up tomorrow morning with a cold bed? How can I wake up tomorrow without her curled around me? How can I wakeup tomorrow and not smell her shampoo? How can I wake up tomorrow?
Slowly I sit back and rest my hands on the ground. Her body slides out of my lap and crumples to the floor. It is lying in an unnatural position that unnerves me. How can she look that way? Quickly I sit up and pull her back flat against the ground, crossing her hands over her chest. This is the typical way you see people buried, but this too looks wrong to me. I uncross her hands and place them down at her sides. Now she just looks like she is asleep except her eyes are eerily open.
I look away; I cannot stand to see her this way. My heart is shattering once again. The tiny pieces are falling into my stomach, down into my legs and resting at the soles of my feet. They can never be put back together now; not without her. I am broken and can never be repaired.
Is such a broken life worth living?
My eyes eye my .45 dropped haphazardly a few feet away. Could this be my salvation? Perhaps there is an ever after. Perhaps there is a heaven. If there is a heaven I can be with Sydney there. She must be there for she was my angel and all angels belong in heaven. Is she looking down on me now? What is she thinking? Is she afraid? I don’t want her to be afraid. I want to be there to tell her its ok, that we don’t have to fear anymore because we’re together.
She was my angel and I was hers and all angels must be together in heaven.
Quickly, without a second thought I reach for my gun, place the barrel on my temple and curl my finger around the trigger. Taking a deep breath I realize that life does have a meaning and I know exactly what mine was. Sydney was the meaning of my life. She was my life; my purpose; my reason for being. Love does crazy things to people but you know what else? It keeps you going each day; it fills your lungs with air and it keeps you moving on to the next thing and the next. My life has been filled with many tragedies, this I know, but she wasn’t one of those tragedies and I won’t let her be.
My finger squeezes the trigger and for a moment there is nothing but then I see it; I see her and now, I’m with my angel once again.
-Fin-
:sadangel:
Title: My Angel
s/v in alias... no specific time period really
Words: 1760
oh and yeah, its a one parter
I’m sitting here crumpled up on the ground. I don’t care how dirty it is, that’s not important. I don’t care about me; all I care about is her. She’s in my lap. I’m holding her tightly to my chest, hoping that I can hold on; that I can hold her forever. “Please, Syd.” I beg. The tears are forming in my eyes, I can feel them. I know that I have to be strong for her but its hard; so hard because right now I don’t feel very strong at all. “Please Syd, you have to hold on. Just hold on a little longer. Please... please... please...”
Even though I’m whispering I feel that my words are echoing through this cruel world and not being heard by anyone, especially not by God for it is him I sent my prayers to in this moment. I pray he can save my Sydney; only he can.
“Va-Vaughn.” She croaks. Her voice is scratchy and barely audible.
“It’s ok,” I tell her. “I’ve got you. Just... just a few more minutes.” Please, just a few more, I know she can hold on. She has to hold on. Just a few more minutes... please... I look down at her, my vision slightly foggy because of my tears. I blink a few times and a tear falls down from my face and lands on her cheek. She’s propped up in my lap now; her lips are beginning to tremble. I know she’s in pain. I know she’s afraid. God, why can’t I take her pain away? It’s killing me too....
I can see a blue tint in her lips that wasn’t there before. Her skin is turning a milky shade of pale. She’s loosing too much blood I know it. How can I stop it? I look down at my hand that is pressed firmly over her abdominal wound. My hand is crimson and her shirt is already soaked through in a splotchy purple pattern. Blood is beginning to pool outside my hand and drip onto the floor, forming a tiny but ever growing puddle. I try to press I bit tighter, desperately trying to keep this life force inside her body but when I do, she flinches and hisses in pain. “I’m sorry.” I mumble.
“Vaughn... I’m... I’m scared.” She whimpers. A tear pools in the corner of her eye and drifts down the side of her face.
“No, no don’t be scared.” I shake my head. “No, not when I’m here Syd. You never have to be afraid when I’m here.” I tell her. The truth is I’m terrified. I can’t loose her. How can I be without her? “I won’t let you go.” I assure her feebly.
“V-Vaughn.... I... I’m dying...” Her breaths are coming short and fast now. Her whole body is beginning to shake and I can barely stand it.
“NO!” I say, loudly this time. “No... no... no...” I repeat quieter. “No, you’re going to be ok, the medics.... they’re... they’re coming. Just... just hold on Syd, you have to hold on.”
My own hands are beginning to tremble now. I can feel my whole body growing weak. I realize now that I have paid no attention at all to my own safety. Someone could have shot me by now and I would barely have noticed at all. I allow myself to tear my eyes away from hers for only a moment to look around. Everyone is gone.
It was a simple mission. They all are aren’t they? Get in; retrieve item; get out; don’t get caught. But how many missions have I been on? Hundreds. How many have gone as well as that? None. This one was surely no different. We got in; we retrieved the item; we got caught.
We were ambushed; surrounded by the enemy. It happened in the blink of an eye. Just one second, that’s all it takes, and then your life changes forever. There was a gunshot, she went down and I grabbed onto her. The other men fled, but I don’t care. I radioed for back up, I think... did I? Yes, I must have. Where are they? They should be here! Why aren’t they here?!
I feel her convulse in my arms and bring my eyes back to her. Her eyes are filled with fear and that crushes my heart, my heart that belongs to her and only her, into thousands of tiny pieces. “V-Vaughn.” She stutters once more.
“Shh don’t talk Syd. Save your strength.” I say as I stroke her cheek with my one hand. It leaves a thin red streak of her blood that had coated my fingertips.
“Vaughn... ki-kiss me.... one... last time.” She croaks. She gasps for breath a few times as I shake my head violently.
“No, no, no, not the last...” I say as a few tears burn lines down my cheek.
“P-please.” She begs. How can I deny her? She’s begging me. Slowly, I lower my lips to hers and press them against hers. I can feel her try to press back but she’s weak and gasping for air. As I pull back my tongue brushes the edge of my lips, trying to moisten them but I taste the strong, foul, iron taste of blood. My eyes fall to her lips and see that along with their grey-blue color they are lined with crimson on the inside.
“I... I lo-love...y-you.” She whispers. Then she brings up a hand to my cheek. I can see her straining and I know it's hard for her. I nuzzle my face against her hand as she strokes my cheek with her thumb. “My- my husband.” She says with a tiny little smile playing her lips. Every time she calls me her husband, even though it’s been almost three years, still, every time she smiles. Almost as if she’s amazed it’s true. I love her for that.
I nuzzle my face further into her palm and I can feel her cold wedding band up against my jaw line. I turn my head to the side and kiss her palm a few times in succession, closing my eyes as I do so. “I love you, Syd.” I croak. “I love you so please don’t leave ok? I need you.... I need you and-”
I stop suddenly because her hand is no longer against my cheek. It slipped down and flopped violently across her stomach. I look to her lips and see that they too have gone limp. But no! It can’t be! Finally my eyes travel up to hers and see that they are glazed over and staring blankly into nothingness. The ever so vibrant life force that resided in her chocolate brown eyes for thirty five years is gone. There is no spark; no sparkle at all. Just deadness.
I let out a blood curdling scream as I shake her. I shake her and try to pull her back. Why! Why has God taken her from me! He always takes her, but she’s come back before right? She’ll come back this time won’t she?
My hand shoots to her neck to feel for a pulse; nothing. Then I press my ear against her lips and try to listen for any sound of breath, no matter how small; nothing. Finally I burry my head in her chest, sobbing, and trying to hear a heart beat; nothing.
I’m not sure how long I’ve sat here just holding her and sobbing. The blood stopped pouring from her wound. Everything just stopped. I try to stand but my legs are weak. Every part of me is weak. Without her I am nothing.
She is my wife. She is my lover. She is my friend. She is my everything. How can the days pass without her? How can I wake up tomorrow morning with a cold bed? How can I wake up tomorrow without her curled around me? How can I wakeup tomorrow and not smell her shampoo? How can I wake up tomorrow?
Slowly I sit back and rest my hands on the ground. Her body slides out of my lap and crumples to the floor. It is lying in an unnatural position that unnerves me. How can she look that way? Quickly I sit up and pull her back flat against the ground, crossing her hands over her chest. This is the typical way you see people buried, but this too looks wrong to me. I uncross her hands and place them down at her sides. Now she just looks like she is asleep except her eyes are eerily open.
I look away; I cannot stand to see her this way. My heart is shattering once again. The tiny pieces are falling into my stomach, down into my legs and resting at the soles of my feet. They can never be put back together now; not without her. I am broken and can never be repaired.
Is such a broken life worth living?
My eyes eye my .45 dropped haphazardly a few feet away. Could this be my salvation? Perhaps there is an ever after. Perhaps there is a heaven. If there is a heaven I can be with Sydney there. She must be there for she was my angel and all angels belong in heaven. Is she looking down on me now? What is she thinking? Is she afraid? I don’t want her to be afraid. I want to be there to tell her its ok, that we don’t have to fear anymore because we’re together.
She was my angel and I was hers and all angels must be together in heaven.
Quickly, without a second thought I reach for my gun, place the barrel on my temple and curl my finger around the trigger. Taking a deep breath I realize that life does have a meaning and I know exactly what mine was. Sydney was the meaning of my life. She was my life; my purpose; my reason for being. Love does crazy things to people but you know what else? It keeps you going each day; it fills your lungs with air and it keeps you moving on to the next thing and the next. My life has been filled with many tragedies, this I know, but she wasn’t one of those tragedies and I won’t let her be.
My finger squeezes the trigger and for a moment there is nothing but then I see it; I see her and now, I’m with my angel once again.
-Fin-
:sadangel:
HOLY s*** 
