Render is over sharpened. The text you used, is used by many novice designers and is overused. Many good tags have simple or no text so try to stick to that. The flow is there though. I would recommend working in color first before going to black and white tags. Black and white is considered a bit harder to get perfect than in color. I would rate this 4 out of 10. Please remember i go by an actual scale so a 4/10 would be a Novice tag.