Numbered Hellos

alias_g

Cadet
A/N: First of all I'd like to thank my wonderful beta Scarlet :hug:

A/N2: This is a one parter written from Vaughn's pov. The song is by Statepark and called Countless. You can find it here if you want to listen: song :smiley:



Numbered Hellos

Sydney Bristow was my summer crush that turned from something sweet with no strings attached to a lasting love. I would have given her everything, and yet, she always yearned for more than I could have ever offered. We lasted throughout high school and I wanted to believe our story would have a happy ending, but not even I could hold her put. She wanted the world, and I some day a family. We went to college and eventually rented an apartment; some considered us soul mates. She was happy back then in a way I haven't seen here for a long while. It was sincere joy of life that sparkled in her eyes, with passion for each new day. Our love used to be simple, and no issues were too great for us to overcome. We managed rather well, enjoying life and each other. We bought a house, I proposed, and the future seemed nothing but promising. Then she got a job offer that required a share of traveling. Out of love, I supported her, knowing how much I missed her when she was away, but I never thought it would change our lives so drastically.

Another turned back,
Such a familiar sight these days
I'm tired of watching
Watching you run away again.
You'd think I'd get used to this
But what the hell did you expect?
And I'm short of breath


She leaves again and there is nothing I can do to stop her. Again I sleep alone in our bed, hating the emptiness. I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night just to watch her sleep, forgetting she's not there. I awake in the morning, yearning for that soft smile she always had in store for me, but I never see it. I eat my breakfasts alone and the house meant for us yet again feels so empty. I walk around aimlessly for hours, trying not to think of her. I find myself sitting by the phone, waiting for the call that never comes. I go out and have fun, only to find myself later missing the days spent at home with her, doing nothing much. I hang out with friends and still can't help but wish she was there with me. I try to live my life just like always but it never feels the same when she is gone. And truthfully, I'm tired. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of seeing her constantly walk away, never realizing I'm still not used to this.

Numbered Hellos and countless goodbyes
The story never changed
Can't help but miss that look in your eyes
When we say goodbye again


We've spoken about it time and time again. She always says things will change, promising me it won't be like this forever. Foolishly enough, I choose to believe her because it gives me something to hope for. I understand deep down her unwillingness to let go of a chance to conquer the world, and yet, I trust her to keep a promise. Besides, with every goodbye and all the numbered hellos, there is that sparkle in her eyes that just speaks of love: an indication that all is not lost for us just yet. And even if - just for a moment - the girl I once fell for looks back at me in that single gaze I always find myself missing with sorrow, remembering she used to be there each and every day.

The welcomes grew colder
Everyday that passed us by
Our time's growing shorter
Does that matter to you at all?
Snow turns to spring, spring turns to summer
But why are we the ones that fall?


As time passes us by, I see her even less. She spends weeks away from home, and I'm lucky to have her for myself even just for a little while. Her love for me is slowly fading, and no matter what I do, I can't seem to change it. She doesn't miss me the way she used to, and even when we are together, she seems to be somewhere out of reach. I kiss her, but the passion is gone. I hold her, but don't feel the warmth. We talk, but never of nothing important. I appreciate every second spent with her, but she acts as if our time together is nothing special. She is with me, but never truly there. And with each passing day, there is more and more to quarrel about, though we never stay angry. Apologies are so quick to come, but nevertheless, harmony is long gone. At times I don't even recognize her, but in those rare moments in the mornings when she wakes in my arms and smiles with innocence, I see the girl I love beside me, not the woman she has become.

Numbered Hellos and countless goodbyes
Our story never changed
I want to forget the look in your eyes
When we say goodbye again.


Her promises still remain, but nothing is ever different. She still leaves because she has to, never doing anything to change it. She has her ambitions, I understand, but with those she has begun to forget what we used to be. That sparkle of love in her eyes has disappeared completely by now, and I wish I could forget the look in her eyes upon goodbye. The sorrow I witness is heartbreaking. I can tell she sees a stranger, but the memories that have yet to fade are telling her to care. A part of her perhaps still wants to, but I sense she is tired of being torn in two. She yearns for freedom but is too afraid to make a mistake by letting go of something she once knew to be true, even if there is not much left of it.

Goodbye

And with that I watch her walk out that door for the hundredth time, and my heart breaks yet again.

Goodbye again

It's never easy; it never was, and I know now for sure it never will be.

Goodbye

Our love has gotten lost somewhere in the shuffle of life, and to be honest, I'm not sure anymore if there is anything left to save.

Goodbye again
 
Very soulful lol.
Great job i love the way you describe his emotions. .
Depthful and intresting.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. :smiley:

Zoe
 
Back
Top