On My Own

ballerina

Cadet
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
On My Own



Sydney prepared herself for the day ahead. She got to the doctor’s office that she had contacted around 8 am. She was supposed to arrive around nine, but she wanted to be ready. The time passed quickly and suddenly the big, white doors were opening and the doctor was coming to get her. She was wheeled into the operating room. All the people were running around, trying to prepare, and that was the last thing Sydney remembered as she drifted off to sleep.


She was lying in an alley when she woke up. Sydney looked around her surroundings, she was in Hong Kong. Why was she there? The last thing she remembered was Francie’s clone slamming her up against the mirror in her room. How did she get here? The first thing that she did was call Kendall. He sounded strange, he told her to go to the safe house.

Kendall had only received her tape the day before. He was angry with her for not getting him the cube. They had been searching for it for a long time. He knew that reprimanding her would not work because she would remember nothing. He had to admit that she had a pretty good plan. He did not want the Covenant to get their hands on it as much as she did. It just bugged him that he would not have another addition to his collection, Project Black hole. Now she was back and had to fit back into her old life, if she wanted to. Kendall knew that she would have a difficult time accepting Vaughn’s new life.

Sydney arrived at the safe house and a man lead her to a room. She had so many questions. The door slowly opened and someone walked into the room.

“Vaughn”

She jumped up and ran to him. Sydney threw her arms around him. He seemed relived to see her, but his eyes would not meet hers.

“They doubled Francie.”

“I know”

“Will, is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s alright. He’s in the witness protection program.”

“What? Why?”

“After what the double did to him and what happened to you, it wasn’t safe for him to stick around. He had to disappear.”

“What do mean ‘what happened to me’?”

“Sydney, sit down”

Again, Vaughn’s eyes would not look into her’s. He looked everywhere else except those beautiful, brown eyes. Vaughn did not know how he could do this. He did not want to have to lie to her, but he had too. She was not ready for the whole truth yet. He did not know if she ever would be. She had told him not to tell her, but she deserved to know the real reasons why.

“Vaughn” she said, interrupting his thoughts.

“Everyone thought you were dead.”

Her obvious confusion showed that this was news to her. It really had worked. The memories were gone and she had no idea what he was talking about.

“They asked me to come back to explain.”

“Come back?’

“I left the agency after you died. I knew that you had always wanted to be a teacher, so I decided to try it out. I teach French at the community college.”

Sydney was having trouble taking all of this in. How could people have believed that she was dead? Vaughn’s not with the CIA anymore. Little did she know that soon her world would be completely standing on its head.

“Do you remember that night, the night that we were going to Santa Barbra?”

Sydney nodded.

“I was on my way to pick you up when I saw fire trucks at your street. I prayed that it was not you house, but deep inside my heart, I knew it was. All that was left was the charred exterior. Will somehow survived, but you, you were not so lucky. They found remains and the DNA was a match. So Sydney Anne Bristow was dead. You were dead.”

Vaughn let that sink in for a while before he continued, “Since that night, you have been missing for almost two years.”

Sydney just stared at him. How could all of this be true? It felt like her fight with the double was yesterday, not two years ago.

Sydney looked so distraught. Vaughn wanted to comfort her, but he could not. He was not allowed to anymore. He placed his hand on top of hers. It was then that she felt the hard, cold bite of metal. He eyes flew down to his hand and then back to his face. How could she have overlooked this?

“Vaughn, why are you wearing that ring?”

“Sydney, you were gone for two years, that’s a long time.”

“So you got married.”

“Yes”

As soon as the word escaped his mouth, she broke eye contact with him. What she did not know was that one word hurt him as much as it did her. A lone tear trailed down her cheek. He longed to brush it away, to touch her cheek. But he knew he would not be able to stop himself there. His Sydney Bristow was back and he wanted her.

He slowly drew his hand away from hers. Sydney’s hand felt cold and numb like the ring. Vaughn got married. Her Vaughn. Her Vaughn now belonged to another woman.

“How could you do this to me?”

Then Sydney got up and ran. Vaughn started to follow her. He stopped at the safe house door because he knew that he would never catch her. So he just stood there and watched her disappear in to the distance for the second time. He knew he would not be able to take a third. Again, she took a piece of his heart with her.

To her barely visible figure, he whispered the answer to her pained question, “you told me to.”
 

krzykty57789

Cadet
Joined
May 7, 2003
Location
Virginia
I LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT... I love a Glimpse.. and this.. This is just WONDERFUL! :woot:

Great Chapter
I LOVED IT
CANT WAIT FOR MORE
:jump:
PM me, Please!!! :)
 

Spy_Love

Cadet
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Ooh Yay!!!! A Sequel!!!! :LOL:
I loved A Glimpse, so I am just so happy right now!!! :D
I just hope we don't have to wait too long before Syd finds out the truth about Vaughns marriage to 'she who won't be named'!!! :cuss: you know the :devil:!! And then we can have lots of Syd and Vaughn Fluff and Stuff!!! :2love:
Please PM me when you update!!! :)
Thanks, Update soon,

MJ :P
 

ballerina

Cadet
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
Chapter 2

Sydney just kept running. She could barely see where she was going because of the tears trailing down her cheeks. Syd did not even bother to look and see if he was following her, it did not matter. She hoped that he was not. She could not handle another confrontation yet.

Millions of thoughts were rushing through her mind. How could he do this? How could he have moved on so quickly? Two years may seem like a long time, but if you broke it down it really was not. At that point, Sydney could not run anymore and stumbled into an alley. She leaned up against the side of a building to steady herself. She slowly slide down the wall and sat on the ground. Sydney drew her knees to her chest and began to cry. She realized that she was at her absolute lowest. She remembered that night that Vaughn had once told her that she could always call him. She could not do that anymore. She was all alone in the world with no allies.

Nowhere to go, no place to run, no one to turn to. Will was in witness protection. There was no way to contact him without putting him in danger. The double, Allison Doren, had killed Francie. Her two best friends were gone from her life forever. Vaughn was married and not even working with the CIA anymore. Her mother was somewhere on the planet, that is if she was still alive. Something was wrong with her dad, she knew it. The agency would have sent her father instead of Vaughn if they had been able to.

Sydney’s life was a disaster. Everyone she knew had been affected by her job. Why didn’t Kendall let her resign after she took down SD-6? Maybe then, Francie would still be alive. Will would not have to be in hiding. And it is possible that she never would have lost two years of her life and she and Vaughn would have actually made it to Santa Barbra. Maybe she would be the one he came home to, not whatever woman he married. Sydney’s life would have been drastically different if she had been around for those two years.

Why couldn’t she remember anything about that time? It was as if in her mind those days never existed. How is it possible to have no clue what happened to you for that long of a time? To her it was as if those two years never happened. The fight with the double seemed to be last night. Vaughn was telling her the truth. She would have been able to see right through his lies. Why can’t she remember? Sydney needed answers and she was not going to get any here. She needed to get to Los Angeles. She needed the CIA’s help to figure out what happened to her.

Getting to LA would be a problem. She could not just go to the airport and buy a ticket. She did not have any money or any identification with her. Plus all of her record would probably all be gone. To the world, Sydney Bristow was dead. There was only one thing that she could do. Sydney did not want to, but she had no other choice. She did not like to see him, knowing that he was not hers anymore, that he belonged to another woman. Vaughn would get her back to LA, just like the CIA wanted. She would have to endure an entire plane flight with him from Hong Kong all the way back to LA. To be so close to him and yet so far. To Sydney it seemed like just the other night it was her kissing him, not his wife. Vaughn, why did you have to get married so quickly? Why did you give up on us? What made you lose faith? Sydney had always thought that they had something connecting them, even in the beginning. It must not have been as strong as she had thought. Why couldn’t he have waited just a little bit longer? What caused him to do this? Why?

Sydney took a deep breath and tried to control her tears. Once she was able to compartmentalize her emotions and focus on what was important, finding out what happened to her, she stood up. Slowly she walked out of the alley and tried to figure out where she was. She wiped away the last stray tear and took a step back into reality. Sydney put on foot in front of the other and her feet were carrying her back to the safe house, to a way home, to Vaughn, and eventually some answers.
 
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Location
Maine
i loved a glimpse, but when i read it, it was already finished!!! so eyah, i love this too.....not to fond of the whole lauren concept,but ill get used to it, lol...anyways that was terrific, pm me!
 

ballerina

Cadet
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
* The song is called “If That’s What it Takes” by Celine Dion. It is kind of what Vaughn is thinking in the back of his mind. He will do whatever it takes to make sure that Sydney is safe.


Chapter 3

Vaughn stood in the doorway, staring into the hectic marketplace. Even though it was getting late, it was still full of life. Sydney’s figure had gotten lost in the crowd moments ago, but he still had not moved. He had hoped that he would catch a glimpse of her and run to her, but it was just wishful thinking. Sydney was nowhere to be found. He would be surprised if she ever came back. If he had disappeared for two years and returned to find her married, he would not want to see her again.

You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls
You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home
You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside
I see it in your eyes
Even you face the night afraid and alone
That's why I'll be there


Why couldn’t he just tell her the truth? Sure, Sydney had made him promise her not to, but he could not have her looking at him like that again. As soon as she felt his ring on her hand, she would not even look at him. When she finally did, before she ran out, her eyes were full of hurt, betrayal, and anger. Anger that was caused by him and him only. Once he had been her protector, her guardian angel, now he was the source of her pain. He had broken so many rules to protect over the short time that he had known her and in an instant, all of that was gone. He was the reason she was hurting and he could not be there to comfort her, he knew Sydney would not let him. Why hadn’t he stopped her? He should have told her the truth. She deserved to know the truth about what happened to her. She should not be the only one left in the dark. It was her life. But Vaughn contemplated on whether or not he should be the one to tell her. He only knew what she had told him. He had no idea what had happened to her in the last year.

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
If that's what it takes


Did the CIA know about the real reason for his marriage? As far as he knew only he and Syd did, and now it was only him because she had successfully erased the last two years from her memory. How did she do it? Why did she remove her memory? At least she was alive and the procedure had not killed her. Sydney knew what she was coming back to and she did it anyway. She knew that he would be with another woman and she would not understand or remember the reason why. The Covenant must have done something horrible to her for her to want to return to such a twisted life. Everything was going to be different for her now. All of her friends were gone. She had no job, her apartment had burned down, and something was up with Jack. All of this was happening and he could not be there for her like he normally would. Not only would Sydney refuse to see him, but his wife would think that something was up. He could not let that happen.

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
If that's what it takes


God, he hated that word, wife. Why had he married her? Oh yeah, he had to play along with her little game. Why hadn’t he just kept dating her? Right, Lauren had wanted more and he needed to keep her on his good side. Why couldn’t Sydney have come back before he proposed? Then he and Syd could have destroyed the Covenant together, instead of being separated by his disloyal wife. Why hadn’t they waited a little longer to get married? Everyone had told him to move on and they were happy for Lauren and Vaughn. They told him that Sydney would not have wanted him to be alone and she would have wanted him to be happy. If they only knew the truth. If they knew the real Lauren Reed, they would not have been pushing him to her. The only reason he stayed with Lauren was Sydney. He could tell that she was truly scared for him as she was telling him about Lauren’s true affiliation. He kept going out with her because he was afraid of what the Covenant would do to Sydney if he suddenly broke off his relationship with Lauren. It would have been the end of Sydney Bristow, and this time for real.

You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain
When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name
'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above
You've given me your love
When your smile like the sun that shines through the pain
That's why I'll be there


Sydney was back and he could not be with her, again. It reminded him of the old days of SD-6. He could not even look at her during that time. He also had a girlfriend, Alice. I was so much easier back them. Yean, they had to be careful because SD-6 could have discovered her double agent status at anytime, but at least she could stand being in the same room with him. Now he did not even know if she could look at him. She was all alone and there was nothing that he could do about it. Some guardian angel he turned out to be.

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break
Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes
I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed
I will lay down my life, if that's what you need
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes


He was still standing in the doorway when he came back to reality. Something in the crowd caught his attention, was it her? Was she really coming back? Yes, it was. He quickly rushed to her side.

“Syd are you okay?” he asked.

“Michael, I need to get back to LA,” she responded as she recoiled from his touch.

Hearing his first name seemed so formal to him. “Vaughn” had always been special to them. Michael did not seem right. He had waited forever to her his name escape from her mouth and now it seemed wrong. She was treating him like a stranger, but he did not blame her. Sydney was putting as much distance and as many walls between them as she could.

Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire
When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher
I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul
I will hold on all night and never let go
Ev’ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes


“Okay, I can have a plane ready in an hour. Go back to that room and I will get a car to take us to it,” he answered.

She nodded slowly and made her way down the hall to the room. Seeing him again, the concern written on his face was too much for her. Sydney opened the door, sat on the bad and burst into tears.

If that's what it takes
Every day
If that's what it takes
Every day
 

alias09

Cadet
Joined
Oct 17, 2003
Can't wait to see how this fic is going to be continued. So, do add me to your pm list. Thanks!
 

ChrisM

Cadet
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
I just read The Glimpse and just read these first chapters. Poor Vaughn, wanting to tell Syd everything but knowing it's not safe. He has a mission to take care of, "keep your enemies closer." At least with this story Vaughn isn't in love with two women.

Could you please add me to your PM list?

Chris
 

ballerina

Cadet
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
Chapter 4

After he called the car, Vaughn walked to Sydney’s room to let her know that it would be arriving soon. He was about to knock on the door when he heard a faint sobbing. It felt like a knife through the heart. He was the cause of her pain, and there was nothing he could do about it. Vaughn decided to give her some more time alone and just get her when the car came. This must be so hard for Sydney. It was a lot to take in in one day. He had time to get used to the situation. Sydney had a couple hours before she would be thrown back into her life full force, a life where she was completely alone. The car arrived and he went and got Sydney. He knocked softly on the door.

“Sydney, the car is here.”

At first, there was no response. Then, the door slowly opened and she walked out of the room. Her red eyes revealed that she had been crying, even though she tried to hide it from him. He led her down the hallway and helped her into the car. The ride to the plane was silent. Sydney just stared ahead, looking at nothing in particular. Her eyes were still red. She was hunched over, so broken and defeated. If he were to try to convince a stranger of who she once was, they never would believe him. That confidence, the spark, the light that she had, it was all gone. Vaughn had never seen her this low before. She was happy that day a year ago, when she broke down in the warehouse compared to this. He was deep in thought the entire time and was oblivious to the fact that the car had stopped. The driver cleared his mind when he announced their arrival. Vaughn helped Sydney out of the car and onto the plane. Once she was situated, he took a seat across the aisle from her. After a successful takeoff and Sydney looked calmer, he went and sat across from her. Her focus dropped as soon as he had done so. She refused to even look at him, let alone look him in the eye. But he had expected that.

“Sydney, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t feel sorry for me. You have no idea what this is like. How could you?”

“Syd, I know a little bit about how you feel right now.”

“Yeah right, you have no idea what it is like to lose all of your friends, to have no job, no home, no place to go, no one to turn to. Something is wrong with my dad because if he was fine I would be talking to him right now and you would be off with your wife.”

“I know, but-”

“NO, my mom disappeared again. Who knows where she is. I don’t know if she is still alive.”

“My dad died when I was a kid, remember.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know what it is like to go for years believing that she was dead and then she comes back only to disappear again. You haven’t had to lose the same parent twice.”

“Syd-”

“Don’t call me that. I came back to find you married to another woman. How’s that for a punch in the stomach?”

“I know what it is like to lose someone to!!”

“Oh, you do?”

“Yes, Sydney, I do. I lost YOU. I fell apart as soon as I saw your apartment. Seeing the charred remains of the body that was believed to be you sickened me. Part of me died that night, right along with you. The rest of me wanted to in the many nights that followed. We had been so happy and then you were just gone.”

“And you didn’t waste anytime marrying the first woman you met,” replied Sydney.

“Syd,” Vaughn said shaking his head. If only she knew the truth.

Vaughn stared off into the distance for a while, but he snapped back into reality. He looked right at her. He hoped that she believed him, believed that he felt sorry for her and he wished that he could change what happened. Sydney broke eye contact with him and looked out the window. She could not stand talking to him any longer. She felt like she was going to break down at any moment. She did not want to do that right now, not in front of him. She was not ready to show him any weakness.

“Please, just go away. I’m tired and I want to get some sleep.”

But he did not move. So she laid down between two seats and closed her eyes. Vaughn sat there for a while, watching her sleep. He had always enjoyed this, but now he felt guilty. He was a married man and he had to keep his wife happy. He did not want to suffer the consequences if he were to fail. Vaughn did not want to lose Sydney for good. When he was positive she was asleep, Vaughn told Sydney what he had wanted to all day.

“Syd, I am so sorry that all of this happened to you. But I am so happy to have you back. I have been waiting for this day for over a year. I am sorry that you do not understand everything that is going on right now, but one day you will find out. I do not know everything, but I know some of what happened to you. My feelings for you have not changed and they never will. I hope that someday you will understand, understand that I am doing this for you. I will tell you everything that you told me that night in the warehouse eventually. I remember something you told me to do and I did, but now you hate me for it.

Even now that I am married it is you I see and not my wife because I knew. I knew that you were alive. And the day I got married it nearly killed me. I saw her acting so happy, when I was only thinking about you. It did not hurt that I knew the truth. I wished that it was you floating down the aisle towards me in a heavenly white dress, but it was not and there is nothing I can do to change that right now. I love you Sydney Anne Bristow. I love YOU. It has only been you and it always will be. I love you, I always will. Forever and a day.”

Vaughn reached over to push the stray hairs away for her face. She looked so beautiful. Like an angel sent from up above. He gently kissed her and the forehead and then he stood up. He settled back into his seat across the aisle and watched her sleep for the remainder of the flight back to LA.
 

ballerina

Cadet
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
Chapter 5

He had not meant to eavesdrop, but that was difficult on such a small plane. The captain felt for both sides. The woman seemed torn apart and lost. The man appeared to be equally distraught, like he was stuck between his duty and his heart, not knowing which to choose. He wanted to follow his heart, however something was keeping him tethered where he was, something huge. He clearly loved the woman. He could tell by the sound of his voice. They seemed like nice people. He hoped that they would find their fairytale ending.

“Miss,” the captain gestured towards the envelope resting on the seat.

Sydney picked it up and looked at it. It very simply said Sydney in Vaughn’s handwriting. She put in her purse. She was not going to open it just yet, she was not ready. Sydney took one last glance at where he had been sitting. She grabbed all of her belongings and carefully made her way down the stairs. She got into her car and drove to the place where she could get lost in her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wonder what it is like to be normal,” thought Sydney.

Normal was something that she had never experienced before. That was the main reason she liked the train station. Normal people going to their normal jobs. None of these people had the hectic life of a government agent. No one had a life like her’s; no one else was a spy whom everyone had believed was dead. She had no one to cling to. Her mother had disappeared yet again. He father, she had absolutely no clue about. And Vaughn, her guardian angel, her rock, had committed to another woman.

Tell me her name
I want to know
The way she looks
And where you go
I need to see her face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end


She settled back into the leather cushions of the seat and pondered some more about the majority of the world. No one in the world had lived through what she had. No one had seen the ashes of people in a church that had been burned to death because of a Rambaldi device. No one had had their fiancé killed because they had told them what they did for a living. No one had to watch their friend presumably drown in Rambaldi fluid, only to come back with a deadly virus. No one had been forced to lie to everyone they cared about in order to protect them. No one else in the world had had to hunt down their own mother. There was only one person she could trust at one point. One person who had always been there for her and experienced some of these things with her. She could not even rely on him anymore. Her protector was gone.

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own


Sydney leaned her head back against the seat and stared at the ceiling. At that moment, she almost regretted surviving whatever she had been through. The last two years of her life were still a mystery to her. She hoped that she would find answers and fast.

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow


“How could you do this to me?” she whispered. “Don’t you know that I need you? You were always there for me, even during my darkest times. Now I don’t know what to do without you.”

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time


She just wished that she knew the reason. The reason he moved on and left her behind. The thing that killed her the most was knowing that she would have handled the situation differently. She never would have given up on Vaughn. She would have waited until the end of time for him.

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found A way
to keep somehow
More than a broken vow


“I don’t know what I am going to do. I cannot do this alone. God, I need you Vaughn,” she said. “If I am going to find out what happened to me I will need help. I’m never going to know now,” said Syd.

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realise
There's more to life than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes


She had tears trailing down her cheeks. Sydney but her head in her hands and cried.

It was getting late now and there was barely anyone in the station anymore. They all had somewhere to go, someone to see, something to live for. An eerie silence had settled over the building. However, in the distance she could hear sirens blaring. It was probably time for her to leave. As she reached for her purse, her phone rang. She searched for her phone but pulled out the envelope instead. She carefully replaced in tint her purse. She fished her phone out of her bag and opened it up.

I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end


“Hello,” she said.

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The song is “Broken Vow” by Lara Fabian

I’m sorry I haven’t updated in awhile, I have just had major writer’s block and I haven’t had the time to update. I have bits and pieces of chapters done, but nothing is finished. I hope you enjoy it!
 
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
I love Sydney and Vaughn fluff. I also love stories dealing with the past two years and how Syd's going to deal without Vaughn. You're story is interesting. Give me a pm when you update next. Thanx. :)
 
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