On My Own


Mar 23, 2004
Awww poor Sydney, she doesn't know Vaughn is only following her orders. She thinks he gave up on her...he never did.

Thanks for the PM and the great update.



Jan 9, 2004
Chapter 6

Vaughn drove in the pouring rain to the house that he shared with another woman. A woman that he did not love. The place never was or would be home to him, Sydney was the only one in the world who was capable of completing that picture. Now she hated him and did not even want to hear his voice. He did not blame her, but what else was he to do. He remembered that night as if it was yesterday. It was raining. He had been driving to pick her up when he caught a glimpse of the flashing lights. The lights that confirmed his worst fears, Sydney was gone, or so he had been lead to believe.

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you.
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do.

That horrible night the rain never stopped. Vaughn had sat next to her “ashes” for hours. The tears were streaming down his face, mixing with the rain. Even though his vision was blurred, he could not take his eyes off of her. The invincible Sydney Bristow could not be dead. It was impossible. She had survived some many horrible things. A stupid fire would not kill her. It just couldn’t. She had to be alive; he did not want to let her go. But, the DNA was a match, and that could not lie, or so he thought. His Sydney was dead and he would just have to accept that fact.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
Felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the darkness I remain.

Nine months later, he had started to move on when he saw her. He saw Sydney sitting in a car outside his house, but before he could do anything Lauren dragged him inside. Vaughn told himself that it was just his imagination playing tricks on him. It was nearing October first. Then he got the call that changed his life. It was Sydney. They met at the warehouse and she told him everything. Everything she had said was true. He knew that when she came back that she would hate him. He had been preparing himself for her return for the last year or so. He never expected it to have such an effect on him. Vaughn hated himself because she would not even look at him. He felt guilty even though he was protecting her from worse things. At this point, he believed that Sydney would have rather not returned. If she just understood, maybe she would talk to him. Vaughn had to talk to her.

Tears of hope run down my skin.
Tears for you that will not dry.
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die.

Everything was so screwed up. Vaughn wished that he could have given Sydney a proper welcome home, but Lauren prevented that. He wondered how the traitor would react to Sydney. HE really had no proof that Lauren was disloyal except Sydney’s word. Vaughn would have been able to tell if she was lying and he was sure that she was telling the truth. Only he had not told another soul. Jack hated him for getting married, but he had not been able to tell him either. It was too risky. Jack might have been able to understand his situation. It was similar to his with Irina Derevko. Vaughn was doing it to protect Sydney. Everything Jack ever did was to keep his daughter safe. If he had told him, Jack might have even helped him. It made no sense dwelling on the past. He had the future to deal with now.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
I felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the water I remain

It was at that moment that he hard the other car’s horn.

Running down

He tried to swerve out of the way, but it was of no use.

Running down

All he saw was a light . . .

Running down

And then her smiling face . . .

Running down


“Remember When it Rained” by Josh Groban

I have the next chapter written, so hopefully I will get it typed soon. I hope that you liked this chapter. Thanks for reading.


Mar 23, 2004
Vaughn on his way home is thinking of Sydny so hard that he wasn't concentrating on his driving. I hope he wasn't hurt too bad.

And Syd, she's sitting at the station, right after she gets off the plane. I just realized, she has no place to go. Her father is in prison, Vaughn left her asleep on the plane and she just picked up her belongings and left. I bet the sirens she heard and phone call she got when she left the station, was about Vaughn's car accident.

Thanks again for the PM and another great chapter.



Mar 17, 2004
Ottawa, Canada
Just caught up. OMG! I've missed alot. Thanks for the PM and I'll be sure to keep up with your story. It's so good.
I was kind of confused there for awhile, but after Chris M summed it up, I reread it and it makes more sense now. Great idea. ;)


Jan 9, 2004
Chapter 7

Sorry, it’s been a long time since I have updated. I just have a major case of senioritis right now and don’t feel like doing much of anything. I have had this chapter written for a while. Jack was never in NSC custody in my fic, so he can be there for Sydney. I hope you like it.


“Sydney,” said a voice on frantically on the other line.

“Dad, what’s wrong?”

“Just meet me at St. Anne Hospital”

“Why? Dad, tell me.”

“Not until you get here.”

“Okay Dad.”

There was a long pause on the other line.

“Dad?” asked Sydney.

“Sydney, get here quick.”

“Okay, bye Dad.”

Who could be hurt wondered Syd. In her line of work, it could be anyone. She topped ninety on the freeway and soon, but not soon enough she saw the exit. Sydney pulled into the parking lot and ran inside. She frantically looked around for her father.

“Sydney!” yelled her father.

Jack ran over to his daughter and enveloped her in a warm hug. His little girl was back. He had been waiting for this moment for over a year. Now she had to come back to this

“Welcome home. I knew you would be back.”

Sydney gave her dad a funny look. What he was saying did not make sense.

“I’m so happy you’re back. I love you,” said jack.

“Dad, what’s going on?” questioned Sydney.

“It’s Vaughn. He was in a car accident.”

That was when Sydney’s world stopped.

All she could her was her beating heart. She wanted her guardian angel back, but not that literally. From the look on her father’s face, she could tell that everything was not alright.

She collapsed into a heap onto the floor. She could not breathe. At that point, she was not capable of doing anything. She started to scream, but stopped when no sound came out. All she could do was cry. Her father tried to comfort her, but it was of no use. She just pushed him away, she only wanted Vaughn.

“Sydney, it’s going to be alright. He is going to make it. Vaughn is strong. He will pull through this,” said Jack.

He can’t die, he can’t. She didn’t want him to die thinking that she hated him because she didn’t. It would not be possible for her to hate him. She loved him too much. She was angry that he got married, but he thought that she was dead. She was not going to give up on him.

To have Vaughn completely gone for her life would be the worst punishment possible. At least before, he would have been there. Yes, he wasn’t hers, but she would have been able to see him at work. Now, would she ever see him again? Sydney could take seeing him at work with his wife, but never seeing his green eyes full of life would slowly kill her. She would gladly do anything to trade the current situation for what had been true just a couple of hours ago. Vaughn was married, but he was alive and well and she could see him.

Sydney was still on the floor. Her face and her eyes were red from crying. Tears were still falling from her eyes. She couldn’t stop them nor did she want to. She allowed her father to help her into a chair. As soon as she sat down Sydney put her head in her hands. She couldn’t bear to look at anyone.

The last time Jack saw his daughter like this was when he picked her up from the Pier over a year ago. Then she had just escaped for the enemy to find Vaughn with another woman. Now, it was even worse, she had to deal with being back, Vaughn being married, the accident, and having no idea what had happened to her. He just wished that he could make all of the pain go away. He had never been an amazing father, but he had always tried to protect her.

Sydney felt someone taping her shoulder. It was Weiss. She took one look at him and started to sob. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to calm her down.

“Shhh, Sydney. Oh god, I’m so glad that you’re back! You have no idea how much we all missed you.”

Weiss pulled back a little bit and forced her to look into his eyes.

“He will be fine. I have known Mike for a long time. He will be okay.”

“Sydney, the doctor is coming,” said Jack.

They stood to hear the news about what had happened.

“Okay, Michael Vaughn is not conscious right now, but he is critical but stable. And that is good after what he had been through. His car rolled over twice and he was thrown out of the window. His right arm is broken in two places and he has a broken collarbone. When he landed somehow a piece of glass got wedged between his ribs and punctured his lung. It just narrowly missed his heart.”

Sydney couldn’t take all of this. She sat back into her chair. She composed herself and looked back at the doctor.

“Can I see him?” she asked.

“Are you a family member?”

Syd shook her head.

“I’m sorry, but only family members are allowed in the rooms.”

“Please. Let me see him. I know that I am not a relative, but please can you make an exception?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot go against hospital policy.”

“You don’t seem to understand. He was my partner in the CIA for two years. For the longest time he was the only person I could trust. He was my only ally, my guardian angel. I fell in love with him and I still love him. Don’t do this to me today. Not after all I have been through. I wake up to find that I disappeared for two years and that Vaughn is married to someone else. I have to see him,” she said frantically.

Sydney put her head back into her hands.

“No, I can’t-”

“Yes you will,” interrupted Jack. “My daughter wants to see Michael Vaughn and she will. If you do not let her in right now I will make sure that you are fired and you will not be able to find work in another hospital anywhere in this state, even as a janitor.”

“Don’t threaten me.”

“That is only the beginning of what I am capable of doing to you. I can do far worse things to you.”

“You wouldn’t”

Jack just stared coldly at the doctor.

“Fine, but only for ten minutes. His face is really bruised and full of tiny little cuts.”

“Okay Sydney, you can go she him,” said her father.

“He is in room 147. Go down the hall and make a left. He is at the end of the hall on the right,” replied the doctor.

Sydney looked at her father and nodded. She got up and slowly made her was to his room

“Sydney,” her dad called after her, “Lauren is in Washington D.C. this week. Something for the NSC. She won’t be here for another couple of hours.”

“Thanks” she whispered.

She walked down the bleak corridor and she was finally in front of his room. Sydney took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, opened the door, and walked in.
Dec 23, 2004
I LOVE this Chapter :love: :love: :love: :love:

The wonders of jack brisow :P :P :P i´m loving this guy more and more , nothing is enough for his daughter and evreything is possible for her, i can´t not fall in love with or even respesct him even more :) :) :) :) :) :)

thanks for the pm :D :D :D pleeaassee update soon :angelic: :angelic: :angelic: :angelic: :angelic: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ,



Mommy, can I please have a snow plough?
:thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud: :thud:


Brilliant! Loved it!

NOO! Is Vaughn going to be okay? I hope he is..
He knows that Lauren is evil? Good. That means they can get together faster, right? RIGHT?

This is such an amazing story! Pleeeeeeeeeeease update soon!!

Add me to your PM list!!!!

xO laur


Mar 23, 2004
Leave it to Jack to find a way to let Sydney have what she wants.

Since Jack also knew that Syd was alive, I wonder if he really knows that Lauren is with the Covenant? And if so, does he really know why Vaughn married her but is just not saying, nor acting like he knows? I can only hope so.

Thanks for the PM.



Jan 9, 2004
I am actually trying to not be lazy today. I have some of the next chapter typed. I have some finshing touches and then it will be up. It will either be latter today or tomorrow. From there it might be awhile again because I am not exactly sure where this is going right now. I have an idea of where I want to end up, but I just have to get there. Dance is going to get really crazy for me after Spring Break so I will try to find time for this. Thanks again for reading my fic!!


Jan 9, 2004
Chapter 8

Sydney walked to the side of Vaughn’s hospital bed and sat down. Vaughn looked so helpless. She wished that there was something that she could do for him. He had to get better, he just had to. Sydney took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

“Hey Vaughn. It’s me, Sydney. I want you to know that I’m here for you. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. For the time being, you need to focus on getting well. Vaughn you have to pull through this. I don’t know what I would do if you . . . ”

She couldn’t bring herself to even say the word. Vaughn was going to be fine. There was no question of that. But what if, what if?

Sydney wasn’t able to hold up her calm façade anymore. Tears had been stinging her eyes for the last couple of minutes. Now they let themselves free and formed little rivers down her cheeks. She sat there crying for ages when the creak of the door startled her.

“Sydney, your time is up. The doctor wants you to go now,” said her father.

“Okay Dad. Just give me a minute and I’ll be right out.”

She looked back at Vaughn’s battered face and wiped her tears away.

“Vaughn you have to get better. You need to be strong. You have someone to live for. Stay for her, don’t leave. It’s not fun, believe me. Lauren will be here soon, to sit by your side, and pray for you like a good wife should. She was in D.C. for a conference, but she is on her way. I’ll see you.”

Her name left a metallic taste in her mouth. Sydney thought about Lauren, sitting at Vaughn’s bedside when he woke up. That person had never been her. After Taipei, her father was there. She wanted a chance to be there for him.

It was time for her to go. She gave his hand one last squeeze and stood up. She opened the door and walked out of his hospital room.

“Sydney, how is he?”

“Okay I guess. I just would feel better is he was awake.”

“I know. We all would. But he will be okay. You have to believe that.”

“I do.”

“Now Sydney, I was just curious-”

“Dad, I just need to be alone right now. Okay?”

“Yes, of course”

Sydney just got into her car and drove. She didn’t even know where she was going. She just let her instincts take her where she needed to be. She pulled into a parking spot and parked her car. When she looked up, she saw the flashing lights of the Ferris wheel and realized where she was. The pier. The one place in the world where she felt completely safe.

Farewell so long cause
I was wrong I guess
Farewell so long cause
I was wrong I confess

She got out of her car and sat on one of the benches. She just stared at the water of what seemed like an eternity. This was the place where she first began to trust Michael Vaughn, now it was the place where she would let him go, say goodbye to him forever. She was going to read his letter and then rid herself of it. She would throw it in the ocean and with it all of her feelings for him. He was married now and there was nothing she could do about it. She would never be the other woman, never. She would do whatever it took to distance herself from him. If she had to leave the country, then she would. She wasn’t going to mess up his life. She took the envelope and slowly opened.

I miss the way you
I miss the way you danced with me
I miss the way you
I miss the way you danced with me

Dear Syd,

I know this is hard for you, but in time, I will explain everything to you. In my heart, I knew that you were alive. I just knew it. Syd, I know that this isn’t easy for you to hear, but soon you will understand. I know that I shouldn’t tell you. I am breaking a huge promise by even telling you this much, but I swear, I am going to tell you everything anyway. Not now, I’ll call you in a couple of days and we’ll sit down and talk. I need to tell you what happened, why everything is the way it is. It broke my heart that you couldn’t even look at me after you felt the ring. And when you did, I could only see betrayal in your eyes. I hope that someday you can forgive me, but if you can’t I’ll understand. It’s okay. I’ll have to learn to let you go. And Sydney, remember that I love YOU and only you, never doubt that.

Yours forever and today,


What did the letter mean? It confused Sydney. Vaughn still loved her, but he had married another woman. It didn’t make any sense. What was he talking about? He had moved on.

I miss the way you
I miss the way you sing with me
I miss the way you
I miss the way you sing with me

Sydney did not want to part with his words. Her previous plan felt stupid now. Most of all she did not want to part with his “I love you”. Vaughn had never told her that before and seeing it written in Vaughn’s scrawl slowly tore down the walls that she had hurriedly erected around her heart since coming back from Hong Kong. She loved him, but that didn’t matter. He had a wife. She had to walk away, even though he felt the same way for her.

I never asked you for
A sailboat in the yard
Or that fancy dress to wear
Or a ceiling made of stars
And all I got was just this
Broken heart from you

Slowly Sydney crumpled up his letter and squeezed it in her right hand. She shuffled towards the railing and prepared to change her life. But she just couldn’t bring herself to unclench her fist. She made several moves to throw it into the water and then to drop it, but her fingers held tight. She wasn’t ready to let him go. It would take time for her to move one. She couldn’t do it in just a couple of hours.

She moved her had over her purse and dropped the paper into it.


The song is Farwell by Rosie Thomas
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