mnkdance963
Cadet
this is soooo good!!
can i get a pm for it???
can i get a pm for it???
One Day...
- Thread starter derevkointraining
- Start date
vaughn4eva24
Cadet
great update!!!!!
i hope jack tells syd about lily
and what is going to happen with vaughn?
cant wait!
i hope jack tells syd about lily
and what is going to happen with vaughn?
cant wait!
fire*N*ice
Cadet
pm please
sparklingrainbow
Cadet
i just read this and i really like it.. can i be added on your pm list please? thanks!
derevkointraining
Cadet
Wow! Welcome to all the new readers!!! 
I'm glad you guys are enjoying this so far...the real drama starts....NOW.
Recap:
An hour later I was at the safe house and no one was answering my questions. A woman thrust a pair of clean clothes at me, so once in the privacy of my own room, I began to change. As I took off my sweater, I noticed a long scar about three inches long on my stomach. “What on earth happened to me?”
Chapter 4:
I tried to sleep, knowing I had quite a few hours to wait before anyone from my office could come get me. Finally, I heard the door opening and saw my dad walk in. I leapt up to give him a hug.
“Dad! You’re okay! Did they catch mom? They doubled Francie!! Is Will okay? Where is Vaughn?” My dad just stared at me, sympathy filling his eyes.
“Sydney…you better sit down. I have some things to tell you that will be hard to hear.”
Fear filled my heart as I sank down onto the bed. He pulled up a chair next to me and took my hand in his. “Sydney…it’s been almost two years since the night you are asking me about.”
“What?”
“Sydney…for the past two years…everyone has thought you were dead. Everyone but me and Kendall, but I’ll get back to that. That night…the night you fought Allison, well, there was a fire at your apartment. Will survived...but you... they found remains. The DNA...was a match. You were dead. You were dead.” He paused, watching my reaction. “It turns out the Covenant, which is a crime organization that formed slightly before that night, kidnapped you and injected some random body with pulp from your teeth so people would believe the charred remains were yours. They brought you to Rome, where they tried to brainwash you into thinking you were an assassin named Julia Thorne. This is where Kendall and I come in. After a year you escaped and contacted Kendall. You told him the story and he convinced you to go deep undercover and become a double agent for the CIA and the Covenant. You spent another year gathering information for Kendall and feeding the Covenant false leads. That brings us to now.”
“If this is true, why don’t I remember any of this? Why do I not know two years of my life passed by?”
“You went and had your memories erased by a doctor here in Hong Kong.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I glared at the man in front of me. “Who are you? Are you a double? You are NOT my father!” I reached out and pinched the man’s face. “I said, WHO ARE YOU?”
“Sydney…”
“No!” I punched him quickly and made my way to the door. Suddenly, two hands grabbed me from behind and I felt a shot of liquid surge through my body. A tranquilizer. Slowly I sunk to the ground unconscious.
~~~
As I came to, I realized I was on an airplane and the man claiming to be my father was anxiously sitting next to me.
“Sydney, I told you what I had to say would be hard, but it is the truth. I have a video here that you made me just a few days ago and mailed off. I’m going to play it for you in just a minute. But first, I have more information I have to tell you that you are not going to like.”
Since I just glared at him, he decided to continue. “Sydney…at first you rejected Kendall’s offer of becoming a double agent. You wanted to come home, to me, to your life, to Vaughn.”
“So why didn’t I?”
“Because when you came to LA to find Vaughn…you found him walking down the street kissing a woman. You realized he had moved on and you had no life in LA any longer. So you went back to fight. To fight for the one important thing left in your life.”
“Which was?”
“This little girl.” He held out a picture of a young toddler that looked like me with green eyes. I glanced up. “Your daughter.”
“My…” I took the picture and fingered it gently.
“The reason it took you a year to escape is because of her. You were almost three months pregnant when you were kidnapped, but you didn’t know. Six months later, she was born. You gradually learned that the Covenant wanted to inject her with Rambaldi’s DNA, the artifact they had you searching for which you were secretly locating for the CIA as well. You knew you had to get her out of the facility before you found the artifact, so you contacted me privately and I set you up with my close friends in Switzerland, who have been raising her since she was six months old. You staged a whole scene to make it look like she was kidnapped. Then you went to visit every three months. I can fill you in on all of that later.”
“I have a little girl who is a year and a half?” He nodded. “She’s Vaughn’s isn’t she?” Again, he nodded. “Does he know? And where is he? And why isn’t she with him?”
“He doesn’t know anything. You kept her with the Erikkson’s. And he is married to the woman you saw him with when you were in LA a year ago.”
I looked up and gasped. “He’s married?” tears began to well in my eyes. “He didn’t wait for me and we have a daughter that he doesn’t know about. Dad…what? How?”
“Shh…Sydney.” He pulled me into a hug. “Forget about Michael Vaughn for a second. He’s just a boy that was never good enough for you. Don’t you want to know more about your daughter?”
“Oh…yes.”
My dad took a deep breath. “Her name is Lilybelle Vaughn Bristow. You call her Lily for short. She was born on October 1, 2003. She is a delightful child and incredibly smart. She spoke at nine months for the first time in full sentences. She has a high IQ. She’s very precocious and she loves you more than anything. And you worked yourself to the bone to achieve your goal so you can take her back and be a full time mother to her. Watch this video. This will explain more.”
I sat back and watched my dad put a DVD on the screen in the cabin. I appeared on the video in the same clothes I woke up in the day before. I listened to what I poured out on screen to my father.
When it was done, I sat back and gasped. “I remember her now. I remember everything regarding Lily.” My dad smiled. “But I don’t remember anything else about the past two years. Why?”
“Because you didn’t want to. It was too horrible for you to think about and you asked the doctor to find a way to allow you to only remember the one good thing in your life from the past two years.”
I nodded, pretending to be satisfied with that answer, but now just wanting to know more about myself. If I was going to want to know so badly, why did I insist on erasing my memories? I’m an enigma to myself sometimes. Slowly I turned to face my dad.
“I want to see her.”
“Okay. We’ll go back to LA, get you settled and debriefed and we’ll go to Switzerland in a few days. Are you going to bring her back?”
I thought about his question. “Not quite yet. I don’t know if I want Vaughn to know yet. And I should get settled before she is living with me for good.” I paused. “So, my house burned down? I have nothing?”
“Pretty much, sweetheart. I’m sorry. But, you did send me a box of things from your apartment in Rome that you wanted. Most of it has to do with Lily. Her pictures, the videos from Jonna, etc. So you have a few belongings.”
“At least that will make is easy for me to move.” I half smiled, trying to make a joke. Then I turned serious. “Thank you for coming for me, Daddy. And helping me to remember Lily, as I asked you to do.”
“Of course, Sydney. You and Lily are the only things that matter to me. I’m here to help you through this.”
“Okay,’ I said, curling up into a ball and closing my eyes for the remainder of the flight.
>o<
Los Angeles
We walked into the CIA rotunda and I noticed everyone staring at me. People started to welcome me back as I stood helplessly in my father’s office.
“SYD! Give me a hug!” Weiss came over and squeezed the life out of me. I smiled.
“You look good. Lost weight?”
He nodded. “I gave up all the foods I enjoy. I’m miserable, but hey, I look pretty darn good.”
“Welcome back, Sydney.” Marshall joined us. “I made you a CD of all the popular songs from the past two years. They say music helps stimulate lost memories.” I chuckled. Same old Marshall.
“Thank you, Marshall. This is really nice.” Dixon also came in, as well as Carrie, who I learned was having Marshall’s baby. I congratulated them both. Finally, I spotted Vaughn slink into the room. He started to say something but I harshly cut him off.
“YOU. You get out of here,” I spat at him. “I do NOT want to see you at all.” Everyone quieted down at my outburst and stared at the two of us.
“Sydney,” Vaughn began, “I just…I came by to see how you were.” I felt my eyes form little daggers and I glared at him.
“Are you KIDDING me?” I watched him look down, then up again, trying to show friendly concern.
“No, I...just wanted to make sure that you...”
“You didn’t come here to see how I am,” I cut him off. “You came here to see how you are, because you know in your heart what you did...you want to make sure you're okay.” By this point, everyone else had filed out of the room, leaving us alone.
“I buried you,” he said. “Consider that for what that's...”
“Don't use rational thought as a defense with me, not after all you and I have seen. Vaughn, you and I live and breathe madness every day on the job...there is no...rational thought! I can't even pretend to have a conversation about anything else with you. What it comes down to is faith!” I watched his eyes grow angry. “What I was hoping you would say is, ‘Sydney I gave up; I gave up on us. I lost faith.’ But what you came here for...was closure...and there is not a chance you are getting that from me!” I felt the tears pool in my eyes and I was having a hard time controlling my emotions. “I'm not gonna say I understand...I'm not gonna sympathize with you and tell you how hard it must be for you... But… you wanna know how I am!? I am horrible! Vaughn, I am ripped apart! And not because I lost you... but because...if it had been me... I would have waited... I would have found the truth...I wouldn't have given up on you! And now I realize... what an absolute waste that would have been!” I almost blurted out the truth about Lily but stopped myself in time and roughly pushed past him to exit the room. Seeking solitude, I headed to the women’s rest room and sunk down to the floor against the wall, sobbing. Sobbing for my daughter, who won’t know her father. Sobbing for me, and all I lost during the two years. And sobbing for the uncertainty of my future.
>o<
I’m not sure how long I sat on the bathroom floor. All I remember is Weiss carefully coming into the bathroom, picking me up and gently carrying me out of the office, into a car, then into my dad’s apartment.
He set me on the guest bed and sat down next to me. Placing a hand on my head, he whispered, “Oh, Sydney. I can’t imagine what you must feel like right now. Everything is so…different and not how it should be. It was too soon. You should have had time to decompress before coming to the rotunda.” I sniffed. “Well, I’m really glad you are okay and back with us. I am always here for you. I’ll help you find a place… and move…and drink tequila with you when you feel the need for a stiff drink.” I laughed.
“Thanks, Weiss. Can you do me a favor?” He nodded. “See that big box right there?” I pointed and he nodded. “Can you open it and hand me the red album sitting on top?” He obliged. Once the photo album full of pictures of Lily was safely in my hands, I smiled. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to open it?”
“Later. It’s private.” He nodded.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“No. Thanks though. Go. Gossip with the others about my breakdown. I’m just going to go to sleep.”
“Sydney…I’m not going to gossip about you. I’m sure everyone can understand the trauma you must be going through and for you not to breakdown, well, that wouldn’t be normal.” I smiled.
“Thank you. You are a true friend.”
“You know it, Sydney Bristow.” Weiss leaned down and gently kissed my forehead. “Take care of yourself, kiddo. We need you back. Call me when you want my help or company.” He stood and exited the room.
Flipping open the book, I stared at my pretty little girl and fingered the pictures. “If coming back was going to be this hard, maybe my life as an assassin was worth keeping,” I sighed before closing my eyes and drifting into a restless sleep.
>o<
Over the next few days, my dad and Weiss helped me get settled. Only in the CIA will the finance department not question paying a salary to a presumed “dead” agent. Thanks to my work with Kendall, my checking account in LA had grown substantially over the past two years thanks to my salary plus hazard pay for the dangerous deep cover I was keeping myself in. In addition, I had always deposited all my Covenant pay into the account I had set up for Jonna to use for Lily, so I had more than enough money. I bought a house a block from the beach that was three doors away from Weiss’ house. It was a beautiful one story, three bedroom house, and it was perfect. I decided which room would be Lily’s and began painting it a beautiful lavender color with accents of green. Weiss helped me arrange all the furniture the movers delivered and after a few days, it looked like home.
Finally, four days after my breakdown at the CIA, I went back. Dixon showed me to my desk and I spent the morning in meetings with him and Kendall. I kept noticing some blond girl giving me nasty looks whenever I would walk through the rotunda. Finally, I had enough and stormed into Dixon’s office without knocking.
“Okay, listen. I know I just got back and everything, but did I do something wrong? Because some girl keeps giving me the nastiest looks and it is driving me insane and…” I trailed off as someone else in the room cleared their throat. Turning slowly, I saw it was the blond girl I was presently complaining about.
“Sydney…” Dixon began, “this is Lauren Reed. She's our new liaison to the National Security Council.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s okay.” Lauren shook my hand. “Dixon, are we finished?”
“Yes.”
“Great.” Lauren turned to leave. “Oh, and Sydney. You should know that in addition to being the NSC liaison, I am also Michael Vaughn’s wife.”
Her words slapped me in the face like a wet fish. “Hi…” I said in a quiet voice. She smirked at me and left the room. Dixon watched me carefully, like I was going to breakdown again but I just nodded at him and left.
So that was Vaughn’s wife. My thoughts drifted immediately to Lily. I wanted to tell Vaughn about her, but I didn’t want her being raised by that woman. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t pay attention to where I was walking and walked straight into Vaughn, ironically.
“Sorry,” I mumbled and went to keep walking but he grabbed my arm.
“Sydney.” I looked back. “So, um, I heard you met Lauren.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled again. “She seems nice.” Again, I went to keep walking but his grip on my arm held firm.
“Syd…the other day you said I gave up on us because I didn't have faith; that somehow you didn't mean enough to me.” I looked down, not wanting to face him after the berating I had given him. He pushed my chin up with his hand. “After you died, I used to talk to you...like you were still around. Literally, out loud, whole conversations about...nothing: the weather...Should I get a new car? Should I have another drink? Then one day...you started answering. I mean, I could hear you in my head...like you were right next to me, Sydney. And although rationally I knew I was a guy who...stayed up nights drinking...talking to his dead girlfriend... Still, I couldn't stop. So, before you keep thinking that you meant absolutely nothing to me, there are two things you need to know, now. First...is that I was so in love with you...that it nearly killed me. And second...that I don't regret moving on with my life.”
I stared at him with tears in my eyes and slowly nodded. Just as I was about to say something, my dad came down the hallway.
“Sydney, are you ready to go?” I had forgotten we were leaving for Switzerland this afternoon and I smiled, knowing that in mere hours, I’d be holding my baby girl again.
“Yes. I’m coming.” Jerking my arm out of Vaughn’s grip, I followed my dad down the hall, without another word to Vaughn. I knew he was staring after me, but I couldn’t care about that anymore. He had made it clear he was happy to be with Lauren.
“Did you tell him?” Dad broke into my thoughts.
“No. I just…can’t. And I know it is wrong. But I just can’t imagine letting that woman take care of my baby.”
My dad nodded. “Sydney… you can’t keep her a secret from him forever, especially if you bring her back. Her eyes alone would give it away.”
“I know. But for now, it’s easier. Let’s go…I can’t wait to see her again.”
>o<
Geneva
Dad and I pulled up to the Erikkson’s unannounced, like the last time I was there. When Jonna saw me standing there after opening the door, her face showed complete relief and she pulled me into a hug.
“You’re okay. The procedure didn’t kill you.”
“No, and it did exactly what I wanted. All I remember from the past two years is anything happy relating to Lily.”
“I’m so glad, Sydney. I’ve been a nervous wreck since the last time you left, especially after that video you sent us. Come in, come in. Jack, it’s great to see you again as well.” Dad smiled in response.
We all walked inside and Jonna said the girls were napping but to go wake up Lily anyway. I immediately rushed down the hall to where the two little girls were sleeping and crept inside, careful not to disturb Davina. Upon reaching Lily’s crib, I peered down at her angelic face and ran my hand through her hair. Her eyes began to flutter open at the contact and she let out a squeal when she saw me standing above her. I picked her up, hugging her tightly, thankful that I remembered her. Exiting the room, I brought her with me to the living room and sat her on my lap as I plopped on the couch.
“Momma come back!” Lily cooed at me, standing on my thighs and jumping up and down. Dad smiled at her antics and moved to sit next to us. Lily grinned and jumped from me onto her grandfather.
“Gampy!”
“Hi, pretty girl. Looks like someone is getting pretty big.”
“Me!”
“So, Sydney. Have you come to take Lily back?” Jonna asked, sounding a little sad.
“Actually, not yet, if you don’t mind. Things didn’t go as well as planned when I returned to LA and I really haven’t told her father about her yet.”
“Michael is still with that girl?”
“Married.”
“Oh, no.”
“Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few phone calls to make. I’ll leave you to your gossip,” Dad stood and handed Lily back to me. I smiled, knowing he wanted to leave the room before he said anything incredibly nasty about Vaughn. Once he left I poured out the story to Jonna and she sympathized.
“That’s tough, Sydney. But I am glad to have Lily here for as long as you need. Actually, I meant to mention that next month we wanted to take a vacation to Barcelona, take the girls to the beach. Is that all right?”
“Of course! And please use the account for any of Lily’s travel expenses.”
“Nonsense, Sydney. She’s no expense.”
“Well, you know you have it if you need it.”
“I know, stop reminding me.” We grinned at each other and talked about the upcoming vacation.
“Beach!” Lily screeched and we heard Davina calling out. Jonna left to get her daughter and Lily continued to jump on the couch. “Momma…you come beach too?”
Oh, how I’d love to go on a vacation with my little girl. “Mommy has to work, sweetie. But one day, I promise, we are going to go away. Me and you. Together.”
“Yay!” She clapped her hands. “Gampy too?”
I smiled. “Maybe.” I watched her slide off the couch and take off down the hall, presumably in search of Dad.
Jonna returned and we headed into the kitchen to make dinner.
~~~
After dinner, we got the girls ready for bed and let them watch a Disney movie. At the end, I picked up my daughter, said good night to my father and brought the baby into my room.
“Momma?” She mumbled sleepily into my ear.
“What is it, sweetheart?” I asked, laying her on the bed she would share with me tonight.
“I want a stowy.”
“Okay, which story?”
“I wanna know who my daddy is.” Her simple sentence caused me severe panic and I sat down next to her. What would I say to her? She’d never asked me about Vaughn before. Sighing, I decided to tell her a modification of the truth.
“Well, baby. Your daddy was someone I loved very much. I knew him for over two years before you came along but life had separated us by then.” I smoothed back her hair. “You get your green eyes from him.”
“He not awound now?”
“Not really,” I lied. I just lied to my daughter. What a horrible mother I was.
“Will he ever be?”
The question I didn’t even know myself. “One day, sweetheart. One day he might be.”
“I hope so.” She yawned. “I love you, Momma.”
“I love you too, Lily. Very, very much.” I sat and watched her eyes close, then watched her breathe in a peaceful sleep for a while before getting up and knocking on my dad’s door.
“Sydney?”
“She asked about Vaughn.” He looked at me, visibly upset, and pulled me into a hug.
“What did you say?” I told him what I had said to her, feeling awful about lying. “One day, Sydney, things will be better.” I thanked him and headed back to my room. Curling around my daughter, I drifted into sleep myself, thankful I had her in my life.
TBC... and tomorrow....
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I'm glad you guys are enjoying this so far...the real drama starts....NOW.
Recap:
An hour later I was at the safe house and no one was answering my questions. A woman thrust a pair of clean clothes at me, so once in the privacy of my own room, I began to change. As I took off my sweater, I noticed a long scar about three inches long on my stomach. “What on earth happened to me?”
Chapter 4:
I tried to sleep, knowing I had quite a few hours to wait before anyone from my office could come get me. Finally, I heard the door opening and saw my dad walk in. I leapt up to give him a hug.
“Dad! You’re okay! Did they catch mom? They doubled Francie!! Is Will okay? Where is Vaughn?” My dad just stared at me, sympathy filling his eyes.
“Sydney…you better sit down. I have some things to tell you that will be hard to hear.”
Fear filled my heart as I sank down onto the bed. He pulled up a chair next to me and took my hand in his. “Sydney…it’s been almost two years since the night you are asking me about.”
“What?”
“Sydney…for the past two years…everyone has thought you were dead. Everyone but me and Kendall, but I’ll get back to that. That night…the night you fought Allison, well, there was a fire at your apartment. Will survived...but you... they found remains. The DNA...was a match. You were dead. You were dead.” He paused, watching my reaction. “It turns out the Covenant, which is a crime organization that formed slightly before that night, kidnapped you and injected some random body with pulp from your teeth so people would believe the charred remains were yours. They brought you to Rome, where they tried to brainwash you into thinking you were an assassin named Julia Thorne. This is where Kendall and I come in. After a year you escaped and contacted Kendall. You told him the story and he convinced you to go deep undercover and become a double agent for the CIA and the Covenant. You spent another year gathering information for Kendall and feeding the Covenant false leads. That brings us to now.”
“If this is true, why don’t I remember any of this? Why do I not know two years of my life passed by?”
“You went and had your memories erased by a doctor here in Hong Kong.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I glared at the man in front of me. “Who are you? Are you a double? You are NOT my father!” I reached out and pinched the man’s face. “I said, WHO ARE YOU?”
“Sydney…”
“No!” I punched him quickly and made my way to the door. Suddenly, two hands grabbed me from behind and I felt a shot of liquid surge through my body. A tranquilizer. Slowly I sunk to the ground unconscious.
~~~
As I came to, I realized I was on an airplane and the man claiming to be my father was anxiously sitting next to me.
“Sydney, I told you what I had to say would be hard, but it is the truth. I have a video here that you made me just a few days ago and mailed off. I’m going to play it for you in just a minute. But first, I have more information I have to tell you that you are not going to like.”
Since I just glared at him, he decided to continue. “Sydney…at first you rejected Kendall’s offer of becoming a double agent. You wanted to come home, to me, to your life, to Vaughn.”
“So why didn’t I?”
“Because when you came to LA to find Vaughn…you found him walking down the street kissing a woman. You realized he had moved on and you had no life in LA any longer. So you went back to fight. To fight for the one important thing left in your life.”
“Which was?”
“This little girl.” He held out a picture of a young toddler that looked like me with green eyes. I glanced up. “Your daughter.”
“My…” I took the picture and fingered it gently.
“The reason it took you a year to escape is because of her. You were almost three months pregnant when you were kidnapped, but you didn’t know. Six months later, she was born. You gradually learned that the Covenant wanted to inject her with Rambaldi’s DNA, the artifact they had you searching for which you were secretly locating for the CIA as well. You knew you had to get her out of the facility before you found the artifact, so you contacted me privately and I set you up with my close friends in Switzerland, who have been raising her since she was six months old. You staged a whole scene to make it look like she was kidnapped. Then you went to visit every three months. I can fill you in on all of that later.”
“I have a little girl who is a year and a half?” He nodded. “She’s Vaughn’s isn’t she?” Again, he nodded. “Does he know? And where is he? And why isn’t she with him?”
“He doesn’t know anything. You kept her with the Erikkson’s. And he is married to the woman you saw him with when you were in LA a year ago.”
I looked up and gasped. “He’s married?” tears began to well in my eyes. “He didn’t wait for me and we have a daughter that he doesn’t know about. Dad…what? How?”
“Shh…Sydney.” He pulled me into a hug. “Forget about Michael Vaughn for a second. He’s just a boy that was never good enough for you. Don’t you want to know more about your daughter?”
“Oh…yes.”
My dad took a deep breath. “Her name is Lilybelle Vaughn Bristow. You call her Lily for short. She was born on October 1, 2003. She is a delightful child and incredibly smart. She spoke at nine months for the first time in full sentences. She has a high IQ. She’s very precocious and she loves you more than anything. And you worked yourself to the bone to achieve your goal so you can take her back and be a full time mother to her. Watch this video. This will explain more.”
I sat back and watched my dad put a DVD on the screen in the cabin. I appeared on the video in the same clothes I woke up in the day before. I listened to what I poured out on screen to my father.
When it was done, I sat back and gasped. “I remember her now. I remember everything regarding Lily.” My dad smiled. “But I don’t remember anything else about the past two years. Why?”
“Because you didn’t want to. It was too horrible for you to think about and you asked the doctor to find a way to allow you to only remember the one good thing in your life from the past two years.”
I nodded, pretending to be satisfied with that answer, but now just wanting to know more about myself. If I was going to want to know so badly, why did I insist on erasing my memories? I’m an enigma to myself sometimes. Slowly I turned to face my dad.
“I want to see her.”
“Okay. We’ll go back to LA, get you settled and debriefed and we’ll go to Switzerland in a few days. Are you going to bring her back?”
I thought about his question. “Not quite yet. I don’t know if I want Vaughn to know yet. And I should get settled before she is living with me for good.” I paused. “So, my house burned down? I have nothing?”
“Pretty much, sweetheart. I’m sorry. But, you did send me a box of things from your apartment in Rome that you wanted. Most of it has to do with Lily. Her pictures, the videos from Jonna, etc. So you have a few belongings.”
“At least that will make is easy for me to move.” I half smiled, trying to make a joke. Then I turned serious. “Thank you for coming for me, Daddy. And helping me to remember Lily, as I asked you to do.”
“Of course, Sydney. You and Lily are the only things that matter to me. I’m here to help you through this.”
“Okay,’ I said, curling up into a ball and closing my eyes for the remainder of the flight.
>o<
Los Angeles
We walked into the CIA rotunda and I noticed everyone staring at me. People started to welcome me back as I stood helplessly in my father’s office.
“SYD! Give me a hug!” Weiss came over and squeezed the life out of me. I smiled.
“You look good. Lost weight?”
He nodded. “I gave up all the foods I enjoy. I’m miserable, but hey, I look pretty darn good.”
“Welcome back, Sydney.” Marshall joined us. “I made you a CD of all the popular songs from the past two years. They say music helps stimulate lost memories.” I chuckled. Same old Marshall.
“Thank you, Marshall. This is really nice.” Dixon also came in, as well as Carrie, who I learned was having Marshall’s baby. I congratulated them both. Finally, I spotted Vaughn slink into the room. He started to say something but I harshly cut him off.
“YOU. You get out of here,” I spat at him. “I do NOT want to see you at all.” Everyone quieted down at my outburst and stared at the two of us.
“Sydney,” Vaughn began, “I just…I came by to see how you were.” I felt my eyes form little daggers and I glared at him.
“Are you KIDDING me?” I watched him look down, then up again, trying to show friendly concern.
“No, I...just wanted to make sure that you...”
“You didn’t come here to see how I am,” I cut him off. “You came here to see how you are, because you know in your heart what you did...you want to make sure you're okay.” By this point, everyone else had filed out of the room, leaving us alone.
“I buried you,” he said. “Consider that for what that's...”
“Don't use rational thought as a defense with me, not after all you and I have seen. Vaughn, you and I live and breathe madness every day on the job...there is no...rational thought! I can't even pretend to have a conversation about anything else with you. What it comes down to is faith!” I watched his eyes grow angry. “What I was hoping you would say is, ‘Sydney I gave up; I gave up on us. I lost faith.’ But what you came here for...was closure...and there is not a chance you are getting that from me!” I felt the tears pool in my eyes and I was having a hard time controlling my emotions. “I'm not gonna say I understand...I'm not gonna sympathize with you and tell you how hard it must be for you... But… you wanna know how I am!? I am horrible! Vaughn, I am ripped apart! And not because I lost you... but because...if it had been me... I would have waited... I would have found the truth...I wouldn't have given up on you! And now I realize... what an absolute waste that would have been!” I almost blurted out the truth about Lily but stopped myself in time and roughly pushed past him to exit the room. Seeking solitude, I headed to the women’s rest room and sunk down to the floor against the wall, sobbing. Sobbing for my daughter, who won’t know her father. Sobbing for me, and all I lost during the two years. And sobbing for the uncertainty of my future.
>o<
I’m not sure how long I sat on the bathroom floor. All I remember is Weiss carefully coming into the bathroom, picking me up and gently carrying me out of the office, into a car, then into my dad’s apartment.
He set me on the guest bed and sat down next to me. Placing a hand on my head, he whispered, “Oh, Sydney. I can’t imagine what you must feel like right now. Everything is so…different and not how it should be. It was too soon. You should have had time to decompress before coming to the rotunda.” I sniffed. “Well, I’m really glad you are okay and back with us. I am always here for you. I’ll help you find a place… and move…and drink tequila with you when you feel the need for a stiff drink.” I laughed.
“Thanks, Weiss. Can you do me a favor?” He nodded. “See that big box right there?” I pointed and he nodded. “Can you open it and hand me the red album sitting on top?” He obliged. Once the photo album full of pictures of Lily was safely in my hands, I smiled. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to open it?”
“Later. It’s private.” He nodded.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“No. Thanks though. Go. Gossip with the others about my breakdown. I’m just going to go to sleep.”
“Sydney…I’m not going to gossip about you. I’m sure everyone can understand the trauma you must be going through and for you not to breakdown, well, that wouldn’t be normal.” I smiled.
“Thank you. You are a true friend.”
“You know it, Sydney Bristow.” Weiss leaned down and gently kissed my forehead. “Take care of yourself, kiddo. We need you back. Call me when you want my help or company.” He stood and exited the room.
Flipping open the book, I stared at my pretty little girl and fingered the pictures. “If coming back was going to be this hard, maybe my life as an assassin was worth keeping,” I sighed before closing my eyes and drifting into a restless sleep.
>o<
Over the next few days, my dad and Weiss helped me get settled. Only in the CIA will the finance department not question paying a salary to a presumed “dead” agent. Thanks to my work with Kendall, my checking account in LA had grown substantially over the past two years thanks to my salary plus hazard pay for the dangerous deep cover I was keeping myself in. In addition, I had always deposited all my Covenant pay into the account I had set up for Jonna to use for Lily, so I had more than enough money. I bought a house a block from the beach that was three doors away from Weiss’ house. It was a beautiful one story, three bedroom house, and it was perfect. I decided which room would be Lily’s and began painting it a beautiful lavender color with accents of green. Weiss helped me arrange all the furniture the movers delivered and after a few days, it looked like home.
Finally, four days after my breakdown at the CIA, I went back. Dixon showed me to my desk and I spent the morning in meetings with him and Kendall. I kept noticing some blond girl giving me nasty looks whenever I would walk through the rotunda. Finally, I had enough and stormed into Dixon’s office without knocking.
“Okay, listen. I know I just got back and everything, but did I do something wrong? Because some girl keeps giving me the nastiest looks and it is driving me insane and…” I trailed off as someone else in the room cleared their throat. Turning slowly, I saw it was the blond girl I was presently complaining about.
“Sydney…” Dixon began, “this is Lauren Reed. She's our new liaison to the National Security Council.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s okay.” Lauren shook my hand. “Dixon, are we finished?”
“Yes.”
“Great.” Lauren turned to leave. “Oh, and Sydney. You should know that in addition to being the NSC liaison, I am also Michael Vaughn’s wife.”
Her words slapped me in the face like a wet fish. “Hi…” I said in a quiet voice. She smirked at me and left the room. Dixon watched me carefully, like I was going to breakdown again but I just nodded at him and left.
So that was Vaughn’s wife. My thoughts drifted immediately to Lily. I wanted to tell Vaughn about her, but I didn’t want her being raised by that woman. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t pay attention to where I was walking and walked straight into Vaughn, ironically.
“Sorry,” I mumbled and went to keep walking but he grabbed my arm.
“Sydney.” I looked back. “So, um, I heard you met Lauren.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled again. “She seems nice.” Again, I went to keep walking but his grip on my arm held firm.
“Syd…the other day you said I gave up on us because I didn't have faith; that somehow you didn't mean enough to me.” I looked down, not wanting to face him after the berating I had given him. He pushed my chin up with his hand. “After you died, I used to talk to you...like you were still around. Literally, out loud, whole conversations about...nothing: the weather...Should I get a new car? Should I have another drink? Then one day...you started answering. I mean, I could hear you in my head...like you were right next to me, Sydney. And although rationally I knew I was a guy who...stayed up nights drinking...talking to his dead girlfriend... Still, I couldn't stop. So, before you keep thinking that you meant absolutely nothing to me, there are two things you need to know, now. First...is that I was so in love with you...that it nearly killed me. And second...that I don't regret moving on with my life.”
I stared at him with tears in my eyes and slowly nodded. Just as I was about to say something, my dad came down the hallway.
“Sydney, are you ready to go?” I had forgotten we were leaving for Switzerland this afternoon and I smiled, knowing that in mere hours, I’d be holding my baby girl again.
“Yes. I’m coming.” Jerking my arm out of Vaughn’s grip, I followed my dad down the hall, without another word to Vaughn. I knew he was staring after me, but I couldn’t care about that anymore. He had made it clear he was happy to be with Lauren.
“Did you tell him?” Dad broke into my thoughts.
“No. I just…can’t. And I know it is wrong. But I just can’t imagine letting that woman take care of my baby.”
My dad nodded. “Sydney… you can’t keep her a secret from him forever, especially if you bring her back. Her eyes alone would give it away.”
“I know. But for now, it’s easier. Let’s go…I can’t wait to see her again.”
>o<
Geneva
Dad and I pulled up to the Erikkson’s unannounced, like the last time I was there. When Jonna saw me standing there after opening the door, her face showed complete relief and she pulled me into a hug.
“You’re okay. The procedure didn’t kill you.”
“No, and it did exactly what I wanted. All I remember from the past two years is anything happy relating to Lily.”
“I’m so glad, Sydney. I’ve been a nervous wreck since the last time you left, especially after that video you sent us. Come in, come in. Jack, it’s great to see you again as well.” Dad smiled in response.
We all walked inside and Jonna said the girls were napping but to go wake up Lily anyway. I immediately rushed down the hall to where the two little girls were sleeping and crept inside, careful not to disturb Davina. Upon reaching Lily’s crib, I peered down at her angelic face and ran my hand through her hair. Her eyes began to flutter open at the contact and she let out a squeal when she saw me standing above her. I picked her up, hugging her tightly, thankful that I remembered her. Exiting the room, I brought her with me to the living room and sat her on my lap as I plopped on the couch.
“Momma come back!” Lily cooed at me, standing on my thighs and jumping up and down. Dad smiled at her antics and moved to sit next to us. Lily grinned and jumped from me onto her grandfather.
“Gampy!”
“Hi, pretty girl. Looks like someone is getting pretty big.”
“Me!”
“So, Sydney. Have you come to take Lily back?” Jonna asked, sounding a little sad.
“Actually, not yet, if you don’t mind. Things didn’t go as well as planned when I returned to LA and I really haven’t told her father about her yet.”
“Michael is still with that girl?”
“Married.”
“Oh, no.”
“Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few phone calls to make. I’ll leave you to your gossip,” Dad stood and handed Lily back to me. I smiled, knowing he wanted to leave the room before he said anything incredibly nasty about Vaughn. Once he left I poured out the story to Jonna and she sympathized.
“That’s tough, Sydney. But I am glad to have Lily here for as long as you need. Actually, I meant to mention that next month we wanted to take a vacation to Barcelona, take the girls to the beach. Is that all right?”
“Of course! And please use the account for any of Lily’s travel expenses.”
“Nonsense, Sydney. She’s no expense.”
“Well, you know you have it if you need it.”
“I know, stop reminding me.” We grinned at each other and talked about the upcoming vacation.
“Beach!” Lily screeched and we heard Davina calling out. Jonna left to get her daughter and Lily continued to jump on the couch. “Momma…you come beach too?”
Oh, how I’d love to go on a vacation with my little girl. “Mommy has to work, sweetie. But one day, I promise, we are going to go away. Me and you. Together.”
“Yay!” She clapped her hands. “Gampy too?”
I smiled. “Maybe.” I watched her slide off the couch and take off down the hall, presumably in search of Dad.
Jonna returned and we headed into the kitchen to make dinner.
~~~
After dinner, we got the girls ready for bed and let them watch a Disney movie. At the end, I picked up my daughter, said good night to my father and brought the baby into my room.
“Momma?” She mumbled sleepily into my ear.
“What is it, sweetheart?” I asked, laying her on the bed she would share with me tonight.
“I want a stowy.”
“Okay, which story?”
“I wanna know who my daddy is.” Her simple sentence caused me severe panic and I sat down next to her. What would I say to her? She’d never asked me about Vaughn before. Sighing, I decided to tell her a modification of the truth.
“Well, baby. Your daddy was someone I loved very much. I knew him for over two years before you came along but life had separated us by then.” I smoothed back her hair. “You get your green eyes from him.”
“He not awound now?”
“Not really,” I lied. I just lied to my daughter. What a horrible mother I was.
“Will he ever be?”
The question I didn’t even know myself. “One day, sweetheart. One day he might be.”
“I hope so.” She yawned. “I love you, Momma.”
“I love you too, Lily. Very, very much.” I sat and watched her eyes close, then watched her breathe in a peaceful sleep for a while before getting up and knocking on my dad’s door.
“Sydney?”
“She asked about Vaughn.” He looked at me, visibly upset, and pulled me into a hug.
“What did you say?” I told him what I had said to her, feeling awful about lying. “One day, Sydney, things will be better.” I thanked him and headed back to my room. Curling around my daughter, I drifted into sleep myself, thankful I had her in my life.
TBC... and tomorrow....
Vaughn finds out about his little girl
PM List:
Angel
Iheartvaughn
secret_agent_angel
malumader
farliieansds225
vaughn4eva24
tblash423
sydneymicheal
SpygirlAmy
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oooRevesDouxooo
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texasalias2004
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Nicky_Bristow
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fire*N*ice
sparklingrainbow
sparklingrainbow
Cadet
i feel sooo sad... i want syd to be happy...
thanks for the update and thanks for adding me on your list!
thanks for the update and thanks for adding me on your list!
texasalias2004
Cadet
AWe I am so glad that she has Lilly back. Please update again today.
texasalias
texasalias
Nicky_Bristow
Cadet
Aww poor Syd at least she's with Lilly again, I can't for Vaughn to find out about her.
°°NiCkY°°
°°NiCkY°°
SpygirlAmy
Cadet
great update! thanks for the PM
cant wait for more
cant wait for more
farliieansds225
Cadet
yay cant wait for tomorrow!!!!!
im sooo excited!!
awesome update
loved it
felt so bad when lily asked about vaughn
cant wait for vaughns reaction
thanx for the pm
cant wait for more
im sooo excited!!
awesome update
loved it
felt so bad when lily asked about vaughn
cant wait for vaughns reaction
thanx for the pm
cant wait for more
damn, i fell behind. eh, even using the mouse with my damn finger all wrapped up is a pain in the butt.
good so far. like how you incorporated some of the best lines from the beginning of s3 in there. i promise i'll review better when i type better and don't have to hit the backspace key a million times. grrrrrrrrrrr....
hugs,
me
good so far. like how you incorporated some of the best lines from the beginning of s3 in there. i promise i'll review better when i type better and don't have to hit the backspace key a million times. grrrrrrrrrrr....
hugs,
me
derevkointraining
Cadet
hehehe no worries gimpy.. i mean.. tracey...
mnkdance963
Cadet
wow!!!!!
i cant wait till vaughn finds out about lilly!!!
i cant wait till vaughn finds out about lilly!!!
vaughn4eva24
Cadet
ooooooo so thats what the title means
poor syd o and lily is just getting cuter
cant wait for next update
poor syd o and lily is just getting cuter
cant wait for next update
fire*N*ice
Cadet
ooo you update everyday with nice long updates. im excited. 
poor syd. life just kinda sux. at least she's got lily and weiss. thanx for the pm
poor syd. life just kinda sux. at least she's got lily and weiss. thanx for the pm