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Pheaisms

Discussion in 'Open Chat' started by sugababyboo, Jan 25, 2003.

  1. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    These are just some random thoughts from my sister (Phea) Just to be safe I'll rate them NC-17, because somethings can be seen as offensive. I just want to be safe with the rating. She has dark, morbid, sarcastic, dirty humor. You have been forewarned! Turn back now if you're upright. I'd like to compare this SNL's Jack Handy's "Deep Thoughts" I find some of them entertaining.
    This first set of ramblings are called "Love Letters from a Civil War soldier"

    Dear Barbella,
    I'm torn by the weary winds of May. The earth has swallowed up my core, hence forth I am defeated by the missions of judice. I am Fortune's fool. Yodeling hee hoo.

    Dilbert Tugnut

    To my dearest Stupella,
    Come what maybe, I am dolphin's cleavage. Wet and Bent, there is no more weight to bear. Tell sully my fears are like feathers flying in the foul wind of flatualism. To all that can hear the howling, smell the toes of wisdom. Go with God.

    To my dearest Creepula,
    You wet my panties with pure fright. How is it that so many babies hiss and cry out in complete horror at you? It’s just a hairy mole. Any perverse being can clearly see how potentially psychotic are, if only you can look into a mirror with it abruptly shattering, you’d see that.
    Without Phase,
    Phea

    When I watch a movie with a decapitation scene, I think to myself if maybe she’ll get out of paying taxes? Lost eyes balls due to a finger gouging is deem able for tax exclusion. So the next time I see a movie siren get her eyes scooped out, I’m gonna think about all the money she’s going to save and have for her cool dark glasses in April. Good for her.

    People have a morbid fascination with catching animals in the act of sexual copulation. I sometimes wonder what goes through the mind of these people. Then I see a porn movie and recognize the techniques. Now I understand why panting and scratch marks are a must. ACTION!

    Blind people have clarity of the mind while deaf people just like to fondle things.




    When I tell a story, I like to picture people in tubs of butter bathing like morbidly obese Greek Gods. I like there to be corn and thongs laying about, as if cheap hookers in a pit of casualities. You are beautiful.

    Fat Men are like horrible scarecrows in a field with no more crop. Why push an elephant when a nun can proposition it to her, with her will. Tell a monkey the truth and it will strip like an employee of Michael Flatlely's Lord of the Dance ensemble. Doo boo doo...
     
  2. kim_dj

    kim_dj Cadet

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2003
    ha..those are great sug..tell you sister to keep at those!
     
  3. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    LOL, one time a stranger fondled her friend's purse lol
     
  4. kim_dj

    kim_dj Cadet

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2003
    interesting..strangers fondling.....not too bad ;)
     
  5. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Yes, her friend called the police.
     
  6. quietgirl27012

    quietgirl27012 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    Location:
    North Carolina, USA
    THey're funny, but I like the original love letter tolin Ken Burn's " The Civil War" documentry
     
  7. a.k.a.Kate_Jones

    a.k.a.Kate_Jones Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    Location:
    behind you.
    :LOL: These are funny....
     
  8. Azhria Lilu

    Azhria Lilu Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2002
    Location:
    Derbyshire, UK
    :LOL: You have a very funny sister :)
     
  9. Brittany

    Brittany Mrs. Depp

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    GA
    :P haha. this is some funny stuff.
     
  10. Krazed

    Krazed Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2003
    Location:
    So Cal
    LOL These are great!! She got anymore?

    :ninja:
     
  11. agent hidden eyes

    agent hidden eyes Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Location:
    san diego,california
    oh man.. comedy...lol....lol
     
  12. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cna see how u can compare them to deep thoughts.. theses are really funny... any more perhaps... lmao
     
  13. ILoveVartan

    ILoveVartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2003
    Location:
    Lost
    Interesting LOL
     
  14. Aliasgirl47

    Aliasgirl47 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    My House
    WOW.... LMAO
     
  15. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Oh God, I don't even remember posting these lol :LOL:
     
  16. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    has ur sister made any more??
     
  17. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    No, not for now. I'd ask her but she's very busy. She has finals this week and needs to study.
     
  18. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    cool tell her good luck!!!!!!
     
  19. Nick_dj

    Nick_dj Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2003
    Location:
    Strongsville,Ohio
    lol hmm lol
     
  20. Alias_Girl_624

    Alias_Girl_624 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2003
    Location:
    Madison, Wisconsin
    :LOL: those were hilarious!! tell your sis to keep it up! :)
     

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