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Queens of the Battery

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by Victoria King, Mar 21, 2003.

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  1. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Location:
    USA
    *okay i had this posted in my odd thread, and i have decided to post it here, so when i update it, its easier to follow and i will update quicker, because honestly i am terrible at updates! :shamefullyembarrased: WARNING:incredible odd, very weird, but hopefully you find it amusing and humorous! :P

    The Battle For AllAlias.Com
    *As the mist swept over the green grass of Ireland it revealed three armies, all poised and ready to defend what they rightfully thought was theirs, allalias.com.
    First there, there were the Furneys, whose fury and rage burned with such passion. The Furneys were known for their loud singing and crazy parties that killed many of their enemies. The Furneys were basically squirrels, but more than just your oridinary squirrel. They were russian and always drunk on vodka, many a time you can see one stumble out onto the battlefield and scream in slurred russian "kiss me im irish" as his fellow soldiers chant in squiggley and play annoyingly loud tunes on bagpipes. The leader of the Furneys was not a desencdant of Furney blood, but rather than the evil furniture baron. Sitting above his troops, he would turn and squeak at any furney who was out of line or not drunk. No one knows why the Furney's want allalias.com but they do, and they have come prepared to fight with acrons and pine cones. they have also sent messages to their friends the Buninnies, the pink fluffly evil snarling creatures from the north side of allalias.com in the generali land. Armed with carrots and old teeth, they stand beside their friends to fight.
    The other side who lives and dwells inside of allalias.com is the TC, the mighty TC. An army of sydney, irina, vaughn, sark, and jack look-alikes come to fight. Armed with spoons, shoes and lightsabers, they know how to kill the baron, but sadly there are no walls in the wild moors of the odd thread. TC's courageous leaders, Vicki, Irina, and Sunfire(sorry guys we were the ones coming up with this, but i love you all in the TC!!!!!) Vicki in official super swank glasses that send out flying vaughn fireworks to kill squirrels, irina with her vodka as bait, adn sunfire with a can opener, behind them stands teh small collection of TC armed with random alias artifacts and quotes and old videotapes that they are soo willing to give up for freedom. yes freedom, that is why the TC is fighting. Ever since Januray, since the Baron has invaded our peaceful threads and alias talk, they have had enough! the mist rises farther up and you can see the TC clearly, irina fallen over lying on a rock singing oh danny boy while mumbling exciteldly everyso often more jack fireworks, sunfire stands over her with blue warpaint on her face while screaming forgein words in squiggley that no one else can understand, behind her is kate, halluncinating that orlando bloom is next to her, he is not and she is flirting with a gentle breeze of irish air! and next to her trying to bring her back to earth is vicki, sitting on a yak who knew vaughn's real parents. coming up behind them are their allies, the graceful mermaids who lure absentminded cia male agents and then kill them with their poison flippers, and pixies who sprinkle laughing gas on ppl because laughter is the TC's greatest strength of all.
    The mist rises furhter up and the third army is shown. From far away in these lands(most likely the alias fun forum) this group would look normal, but up close, it is a sea. Kendall is in a large purple duck bill platpus suit that is armed with spikes on the large beak, vaughn is in his hot hot dog suit and still looks amazing, jack is right beside him in a chicken suit while holding a very tight chain to irina(not irina irina, but irina irina) who is dressed up in a raggedy ann costume complete with freckles, she does not look happy at all, a permanent scowl on her face. behind her is a tater tot, a very happy tater tot eating a chocolate eclair, not one but three eclairs, none other than wiess. but the leader of the pack is a lobster with a shimmering hat of steel that shines in the irish sun, sydney and her blonde wig of butter. they are here to protect themselves and to rid the world of the TC's terrible spoofs of them and for making them be in these costumes. they are fighting for revenge and freedom from being forced to wear silly costumes and for talking to squirrels and being frozen alive.
    As the mist begins to continue to rise, a little squirrel(drunk and russian!) steps forward from the far left with a little snare drum around his neck, he begins his song, which everyone hushes each other up to hear(even irina who has now seen the real jack is being pinned to the floor by the yak!lol)
    tiny squirrel:
    allalias is ours
    we are the squirrelssssssss(held out with vibrato!)(all very airy and spirit-like another squirrel comes up to him and plays a bagpipe)
    we do not come in peace
    you can not kill us anymore
    no more alias for you and no more making fun of us
    we are the squirrels(dum dundun ddn ddn*the drum beats for a second by itself)
    the fight begins
    beware of the evil chair baron
    he will push you off
    into the grouuuuuuuuuuuund.
    CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGE! and with that a lobster starts running to the center of the green plains followed by a frantic amazing hot dog vuahgn and millions of squirrels and chairs and bunnies come up to meet their fellow tiny squirrel.
    while the TC eats smores and just laughs until they see the shadow of the mother of all squirrels coming up towards them, irina becomes sober quick and so do the rest(who were never drunk!) they form a line and right before they charge to the center they scream with fury and passion that is lifted up to the alias execs and charlie:
    TOMBOY CLIQUE LIVES ON AND SO DOES ALIAS! LONG LIVE ALIAS!!!
    and with that, the battle for allalias.com has begun, and somewhere in the tiny hills of a preaction for truth takes time, there is a little hobbit called marshall who holds the key to allalias.
     
  2. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Location:
    USA
    Part Two of Battle for AllAlias!

    *sitting all alone in his cabin, the hobbit eklarirka marshall(marshall for short) is draped in darkness. he has turned out all of his high tech lighting and is now sitting in the far corner in his most prized inflatable chair cradling a small battery in his hand. staring at this battery, he becomes lost in his thoughts and the thing he fears the most is happening. what mnay have told him about this battery is finally happening. his eyes grow wide with fear as the battery leaps from his hand and onto the table pulls out of thin air black polished tap shoes and starts tapping while singing an ancient irish jig that holds more meaning than marshall the yound hobbit thinks:
    ohidideydeedo
    rambladi hides away
    deep in the dark side of allalias.com
    he hides he hides
    but not forever, but not forever
    he has a plan and
    so does the evil baron
    watch out and take care of me
    precious dancing battery
    for allalias.com needs me and you to live.
    *the battery stops singing and dancing and just like that a loud bang and a flash of brilliant green light emerges through the darkness, the front door lying on the ground but standing in front of the two(whose faces look like they have just seen a ghost squirrel!) is the powerful merlin spuddy buddy. Cloaked in his red and yellow robe and his beard full of spuds, he looks at the poor scared hobbit with distaste, but sees the battery and gasps then rushes to the young hobbit,
    "never ever lose sight of this battery, it is the key to our survival. you must go to the far raches of allalias.com you must and save this wonderful site, for a bohemian storm is brewing and the battery has chosen you."
    marshall looks at the hobbit and the small battery smiles and nods thoughtfully at him.
    "why me? i am but a lonely techie hobbit, i collect pez i think that the elf sydneia is gorgeous that is all i want in my life and a red phone to the president which would be really cool considering all that i have gone through plus the fact that i still havent beaten that little girl with the pez record and not to mention that my tater tot farm is getting very low their fat cells keep killin them,
    "MARSHALL!"-the spud's voice is booming, now and the small hobbit cowers in the dim green light-"GO and save allalias.com!"
    "but go where, all i know is my forum here in the preaction for a truth takes time and no one is supposed to be here for another week since its not on for two!"
    "The land of the evil baron is in the far off threads of the archive, he has picked that because it is very hard to get there from here, but you must hurry allalias.com is in your hands and the future looks dark."
    with that the merlin spuddy buddy leaves in a flash of emerald green light and marshall is left all alone muttering words in ewok and squiggley, while the little battery hands him a tissue. they are all alone in their quest for allalias.com.

    *as our brave hobbit learns of these startling events, the evil baron looks over his army as they charge onto the flat plains of the fan section,he watches the TC and the alias cast attack his army. three armies, one day and only one will triumph over. in his mind it is clear that he will win, he is a chair, we are spies and see everything and even swallow little hobbits asleep in their bed, how can we not win this? but then he sees the unexpected coming from the far edge of the battlefield the small squirrel who sung the battle song of the chairs, gets picked up by the TC's fairies and starts laughing.
    the battle has just begun, one fights for revenge, one for power and one for freedom. while a little hobbit starts to pack all of his inflatable furniture and pez dispensers and his faithful stapler lenny for a long journey to save allalias.com. the mist rises even further, and the battle cries wake up marshmellowia the elf in her palace. she has heard the cries of her one true love at battle.
     
  3. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Location:
    USA
    warning the weird only gets weirder!!LOL

    Up in the high castle at fanmedia signiture requests, is Marshmellowia the elf, the fan section is the home of the elves that dwell in allalias. Running her fingers over a love letter her one true love sent her, tears begin to cascade down onto the hastily written parchment, her tears drawing lines acrossed it and making it barely readable. But this doesnt matter to her, she has already read it and reread thousands of times, and has it carefully stored away in her memory. The only words one can really make out of the letter is the signiture. She rubs her finger over this over and over thinking if by chance a sudden miracle to arise, he would appear before her. He left her two years ago when he heard of the evil furntiture baron had broken through the barricades of allalias and was now reaking havoc on all of its peaceful members. AFter assembling the lima bean troops in the fan fic marshes, he left. Leaving behind a stack of letters and a spoiler for next season's premiere.
    "oh Lenny why did you have to go and fight for allalias, you are merely a stapler." she weeps to herself now, despite her father's disapproval of the relationship because she after all is an elf and lenny is just a mortal stapler from the far plains of Kate's Pencil Pouch.
    Marshmellowia knew what she had to do and quickly in the middle of the night, packed up her things and tip toed out into the mists heading for the battlefield where she knew her one true love was waiting for her.

    *Mashall and the dancing battery are hiking up the green hills of general when they suddenly hear strange cries coming up over the far hill to their right. They duck down behind "AOA" and watch as they see a girl walking towards them with Poppy the popcorn following close behind her. She is talking rapidly to the popcorn and the popcorn just nods in agreement, her eyes light up as she sees marshall and the battery but marshall coweres behind the tiny battery.
    "Hi! Im jo. You must be Marshall the protector of the Allalias battery, i have come to help you reach the odd forum to distory th ebattery(the battery begins to cry but understands that he is too powerful to live and must die to save this wonderful place of alias discussion)
    "yes i am that marshall and are you sure you are on the right side because i was already tricked once, i mean i htought i was working for the good guys the CIA but i wasnt then i came to work for the real CIA where oddly enough the elf sydneia works but she knew all along and i never knew and i was actaully against the CIA and i dont want to go trhough that again or with that weird suit and glasses guy or get ...
    "Marshall! i am good, see i have the officail food of the TC with me, meet Poppy king of Popcorn! :popcorn: :king:
    "Well okay. lets go."
    "Yes we should, the skies are getting more grey as we speak, must mean an alias haitus, we must hurry if we are going to be able to save allalias."

    *okay more to come shortly, and it will be an amzing battle scene full of lima beans, evil squirrels, strawberry emperoress, and the a cow! and sorry about this update, its terrible i know, i think i amy rewrite it later!
     
  4. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    LMAO! THIS IS GREAT !AND I AM IN IT!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT VIKKI! *trys to breath* fails and falls over. REALLY I LOVE IT! AND YOU BETTER UPDATE!!!!!! :)
     
  5. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
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    thanks sunfire, im planning to update it again tonight, and i all ready have millions of ideas for the battle!LOL, just wait!LOL
     
  6. Scarlet Crystal

    Scarlet Crystal Bibbity Rabbity

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Location:
    Narnia
    lol squirrels!:)
     
  7. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    LMAO! i cant wait!!!!!!!! :)
     
  8. GO Syd

    GO Syd Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    lol vikis fan fic is funny sorry but i have to viki:
    [​IMG]this is for u viki--its a squirl train


    --------------------
     
  9. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
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    LOL!thanks go syd! and you are never going to let any of us to forget that one!LOL!
     
  10. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
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    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANT BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROLFTOAMTOS!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!! hehehehehe :)
     
  11. GO Syd

    GO Syd Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    ur right i wont
     
  12. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
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    Did I miss something?? I dont remember this? What do you mean Wont let us forget it! I MISSED SOMETHING! :)
     
  13. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

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    go to odd forum and you'll see!he has put it up there at least ten times!LOL! and i dont doubt you one bit go syd!
     
  14. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
     
  15. GO Syd

    GO Syd Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    yep and i will again
    [​IMG]
     
  16. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
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    lol, thanks go syd i was beginning to forget what it looked like!
     
  17. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    LMAO! That will haunt my memory forever! SO VIKKI! POST! PLEASE
     
  18. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Location:
    USA
    over at the battlefields at the odd thread, the battle has just begun.AFter the morning mist cleared you can see the mass hysteria. Squirrels are flying in every direction, some are on fire and burst into vauhgn and jack fireworks(only the tc stop and look at these before continuing to fight)
    Irina B(i have to make identifible between the two!) sits high on her yak with a case of vodka strapped to its back as she scours the battlefield for her lost love. She sees him punching a squirrel in the face and gives a silent cheer. He sees her and smiles. Unbeknowest to any except the tc, knows of their love for each other. Irina waves at him and giggles evilly, unaware of a screaming squirrel flying past her head. She suddenly sees Irina D looking at her and looks away because she knows if Irina D sees her, she will murder Irina B and even Irina B knows not to mess with Irina D(wow that was confusing!) Suddenly vicki yells up to irina B that brings irina out of her daydreams of killing Irina D so her and her one true love can live happily ever after.
    "Hey Mom can you help me here!!!"
    Irina looks over at her daughter, vicki, who is surrounded my jumping bluberries threatening to stain her white dress, and throws her vodka into the wind and jumps off the yak to help her.
    In the center of the battle, sunfire, kate and siri are zapping squirrels left and right with their light sabers. Suddenly a squirrel knocks sunfire to the ground and her light saber is flung from her reach, leaving her defenseless against the evil squirrel. She cowers up screaming for her friends to help her, but they dont hear her. No one hears her except the squirrel.
    At first she closes her eyes to the horrible sight(she doesnt want the last thing she sees to be a squirrel, would you?)expecting the squirrel to plunge in acron at her throat, she is suprised to feel a small paw on her hand trying to help her stand.
    she opens her eyes and has to hold her breath. She cant belive it, shaking her head trying to stop the memories that keep flooding in. it cant be sergio, it cant be. can it?
    "Sergio?" she cries out desperatly on the verge of tears.
    "Yes sunfire, its me. its me."
    "But what about the evil strawberry emperoress, i thought she had ordered for your execution?"
    "she did, but i escaped, im here."
    Sunfire still in complete awe of seeing him, doesnt see an acron flying for her head. Sergio steps forward and yells at the acron to stop and it does right in front of her face.
    "How did you do that?"
    "oh that, thats basic knowledge they teach you at SD-4 Training Summer Camp! that and how to swim while lima beans are chasing you, fun times."
    suddenly sunfire's spirits drop, she realizes the truth to the situation, sergio is a furney, against the tc.
    "Sergio, why did you join SD-4 and why arent you killing me now?" she thinks to herself, why did i just ask him that, do you want to die?!NO!
    "i cant tell you know my love, but i will. meet me tonight when the fighting takes a break to watch the new alias episode. promise me you'll meet me?"
    "Yes i promise."
    and with that the little squirrel lives in a hurry among the masses throwing acrons at each other and light sabers whizzing past.

    *ill update more later!
     
  19. Victoria King

    Victoria King Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2003
    Location:
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    there i posted sunfire!LOL!!and yes that will haunt my dreams forever, and how do you like your story?!LOL
     
  20. GO Syd

    GO Syd Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    can u write me and u and um siri and other TC members into the next one
     

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