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Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by dangerous_agent, Jun 15, 2003.

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  1. dangerous_agent

    dangerous_agent Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    This is my first ever fan fic so i dunno if u guys r gonna like it but even if u dont then it wont matter cos none of u know me and i live in ENGLAND!!!!!! anyways tell me what u think!!!
    NOTE: The guard in this, Chris Parker, looks exactly like James Lennox, but James Lennox doesn't exis in this.

    CHAPTER 1
    Sydney raised her head and looked at the building that had caused all her pain and troubles. The Central Intelligence Agency. If she hadn't agreed to work for them as a double agent against SD-6 then she would have still been happy believing she was working for the CIA. As it was Sydney took the CIA job AND stayed with SD-6 and now three and a half years of her life were missing.
    Three and a half years ago Sloane and Sark, working together, had cloned and then killed Sydney's best friend and sent the clone to kill Sydney for her betrayal. She had defeated the clone, Allison, and then she was captured by Sark and tortured. Now after three and a half years of pain and misery she was going back to the one place she least wanted to be right now, but the one place she knew was sfae for her at hte moment. She wondered what Vaughn would be like, would he look the same, would he still remember her, still want to be with her? She thought of his face, his smile, the way he could always make her laugh. For the first time since her capture, she let happiness in and smiled. But she doubled over in pain. During her torture, her jaw, left arm, right shoulder and left ankle had all been broken. All but her shoulder and jaw were healed. Now any movement of her jaw brought on a white hot apin that shot through her body. Syney blocked the pain out like she had done throughout her entire imprisonment. If the mind didn't fell the pain then the body wouldn't feel it either.
    She brought herself out of her thoughts and entered the CIA building, always glancing around her. As soon as she entered everyone began staring at her, her torn clothes ( the same she had been wearing for over three years) and her dirty hair. But what attracted most attention was her face. It was pale and swollen, both eyes were black and her jaw stuck out at an odd angle. She was hunched over, her right arm wrapped protectively around her torso, resting her fractured shoulder.
    "Ma'am I'm afraid I can't allow civilians in the building. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave" A security guard said walking up behind Sydney. She turned round slowly and the guard gasped at her battered and bruised face. There ws something oddly familiar about the degraded woman standing before him, he was sure he had seen her somewhere. He thought back to a speech Kendall ahd given all of the security team. It was about a missing agent, Sydney Bristow. Kendall had shown them all a picture of her before she went missing, saying that if anyone were to see her anywhere then they should report it to him immediately. The woman standing before him was this agent, Sydney Bristow. A feeling of pride spread through his body, he had found her, he had found Syney Bristow.
    "Could you follow me for a second Miss. I'm going to ring for medical assistance, you're in a bad way." Sydney nodded, grateful for medical attention at last. The guard led her to the front desk. "SCOOT!" he said to the young man sitting at the desk. The man got up immediatley and the guard motioned for Sydney to take a seat. As she settled herself into the cushioned chair, the guard grabbed the phone and dialled a number, backing away from Sydney.
    "Kendall here" said a voice on the other end of the line.
    "Mr Kendall. It's Chris Parker here from security. I think you should come to the front desk immediately sir." he said eyeing Sydney. "You'll want to see this for yourself"
    "This better be important I was just about to fire someone! Oh well business before pleasure I guess" And with that Kendall hung up the phone and walked out of his office towards the front desk, muttering under his breath.

    :sleep: hope you all like the story. Give me any comments and critism is welcomed. If you like it i'll post more when I have time.
    NOTE: ENGLISH PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK LIKE SARK SPEAKS!!! :mad:
     
  2. sarahh729

    sarahh729 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2003
    Location:
    Maryland, USA
    that was good, MORE please :)
     
  3. A.I.C.

    A.I.C. Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    Great start...please contiune! I like it so far!
     
  4. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Good start.
     
  5. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    Mafia Headquarters
    great chapt! i have 2 admit though, that it kind of sounds like spywolf's 'coming home'
     
  6. AliasBabe12

    AliasBabe12 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
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    ummm nooo
    great start and chapter post more soon when u can
    ~Kay~
     
  7. Italian fan

    Italian fan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 6, 2003
    Location:
    Italy
    (y) great start....add more!!
     
  8. krzykty57789

    krzykty57789 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 7, 2003
    Location:
    Virginia
    great start
     
  9. alias_luver

    alias_luver Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
    Location:
    Racine, Wisconsin
    Awesome start!! Post more whenever you can!
     
  10. dangerous_agent

    dangerous_agent Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    wow every 1 is really nice on this site, personally i think the story isnt that good but when my friend read like the first 6 chapters she thought it was great!!!!
    jenni if ur readin this heya and thanx for readin the story!!!!
    see u at skool for exam results!!!!
     
  11. dangerous_agent

    dangerous_agent Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    one more......... how do u post more stuff on this thing im gonna out the nxt chaps up but i cant figure out how? help?
     
  12. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

    Joined:
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    just press the 'add reply' button
     
  13. dangerous_agent

    dangerous_agent Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    thanx for tellin me how to post more.
    heres the next chapter..... enjoy

    CHAPTER 2
    The guard, Chris, put the phone down and walked over to the computer. Sydney watched as he typed something in, but she couldn't make out what he had typed in because her swollen eyes were blocking out some of her view, making it possible to see things only in a blur. Chris pulled a file up and a huge picture of Sydney appeared on the screen. There was a profile beside it and underneath the picture were three letters in bold - MIA.
    "Is this you?" Chris asked looking at Sydney's face for a reaction. She nodded unable to speak because of her broken jaw. Chris sighed and closed the file. He looked back at Sydney, tears streaming down her face. He sat next to Sydney, cautiously placing a protective arm around her shoulders. Sydney cried into Chris' arm.
    "Oh God!" came a voice from behind the desk. Chris got to his feet immediately and Sydney looked up into the face of Kendall. "Sydney Bristow........ come with me please!" He sounded angry at Sydney. She looked over at Chris, her eyes pleading with him not to leave her aloe wiht Kendall.
    "Sir, if it's not a problem I'd like to accompany Miss Bristow" Chris said nervously to Kendall's back.
    "Whatever, just hurry up. This is important." Kendall walked briskly back into the Operations Centre. Chris helped Sydney to her feet and they trailed after Kendall.
    As they were walking through Ops Centre Sydney heard gasps of disbelief and the occainsional ' OH MY GOD' but she ingorned it, instead focusing her attention on Kendall's back. Kendall stopped by his office and opened the door for Sydney and Chris. Kendall motioned for the chair opposite his desk.
    "Sit" he said. Sydney let go of the guard and sat down.
    "That will be all Mr. Parker" Kendall dismissed Chris. But Sydney stood up blocking his way.
    "I think she wants me to stay" Chris said looking at Sydney curiously. She nodded. Kendall rolled his eyes.
    "Alright" Chris sat down beside Sydney, always keeping jis eyes on her. Just then the door burst open.
    "Kendall, I have to tell you...." Vaughn started but he stopped when he saw Sydney sitting down at the desk. "Sydney?" All this time he had spent looking for her and just when he gives up all hope she shows up. Sydney stared into his green eyes, he hadn't changed a bit and Sydney was stilled filled with the same love for him as she always had.
    "She can't talk" Chris said looking Vaughn dead in the eye.
    "What? Why not?" Vaughn asked worried.
    "Her jaw has been broken" Vaughn felt his mouth drop open. He rushed over and crouched next to her. He reached a hand up and traced the line of Sydney's disfigured jaw. She flinched. Vaughn felt tears brimming in his eyes but he blinked them back, he had to be strong for her. Why hadn't he looked for her harder?
    "I can't believe what they've done to you. I'm so sorry" Vaughn said anger welling up inside of him. Sydney wanted to hold him in her arms and tell him it wasn't his fault, he couldn't have done anything.
    "Mr.Vauhgn. I'm trying to debrief Miss. Bristow here. You can see her later" Kendall said. Vaughn snapped, all his pent up sorrow and anger came pouring out in torrents. He stood up his hand jerking Sydne's mouth, she screamed out in pain but Vaughn didn't notice.
    "KENDALL. Sydney can't speak so you're not gonna get much out of her at the moment. Just give her medical attenion, thats all she needs right now. God, after three and a half years of torture let her rest!" Vaughn shouted at Kendall. He was silenced by Vaughn's sudden outburst and taken aback. He opened his office door for them. Vaughn nodded and turned back to Sydney, he tried to pick up her up but she backed away. Vaughn stood straight, confused. But then he remembered her crying out in pain as he stood up, the feeling of his hand knocking against something.
    "Oh god, Syd I'm so sorry, I never meant to ...."He couldn't finish the sentence, tears trickling down his face. Sydney knew he hadn't meant to hurt her. She stared him in the eyes, lacing her own with forgivness. Vaughn saw what she was trying to tell him nodded, allowing Chris, who had been patintly waiting in the corner, to help her to the medical wing. He gently helped her to her feet fo the second time that day and let her lean into him. They walked out of Kendall's office with Vaughn in tow. As Vaughn was leaving Kendall muttered a few words in his ear.
    "Never speak to me like that again!"

    :sleep: So what do u think of the second chapter. Tell me what u think. Thanx for reading this. AND don't worry there'll be more S/V action soon :D
     
  14. alias_luver

    alias_luver Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
    Location:
    Racine, Wisconsin
    Another great chapter!!! :) (y) Cant wait for more!!
     
  15. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    Mafia Headquarters
    great chapt! i hate kendall grrrrrrrrr!
     
  16. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    wow this is great!!! please write more soon!!
     
  17. dangerous_agent

    dangerous_agent Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    here's the next chapter. it will get more exciting soon but i have to lay the foundations of the story ( that almost sounded like i knew what i was saying) lol. anyways i posted another story on General Fiction so if you wanna read it then its called IDENTITY.

    CHAPTER 3
    Chris helped Sydney into the hospital bed as doctors rushed in to examine her. They looked her over, moving every limb in her body checking for any other damage. Vaughn stood a little away, he was shaking his head and muttering that this was all his fault. He could have ended Sydney's pain, he could have found her. Chris was standing next to Vaughn watching carefully as the doctors checked Sydney over. He felt a connection to her and found himself worried sick for her health.
    "C............"Sydney tried to speak, she was looking past the doctors, in the direction of Vaughn. He rushed to her side.
    "Syd,what are you trying to say?" He urged. Sydneys face contorted with pain as she strugled to speak.
    "C......hr..........is" Sydney managed before screaming out in pain. The doctors produced a injection and inserted the clear liquid into Sydney's arm.
    "Morphine" the doctor said at Vaughn's glance. He nodded.
    Chris came to Sydney's side.
    "Yes Miss.Bristow?" He asked, he didn't realise it but he took her hand in his. Sydney looked towards the door and then grunted one word.
    "m...........o..........m" Again she cried out in pain. She pointed to herself and then to the door.
    "No Syd ypu can't leave!!!" Vaughn interrupted, he shot Chris an anxious look that was mingled with jealousy.
    "Miss.Bristow, I'm afraid he's right. Your injuries are severe and we need to keep you here so you can make a full recovery and return to the CIA as soon as possible.
    Not the CIA again. I'm quiting it. I want nothing to do with it anymore. Sydney thought.
    "I'm afraid you two will have to leave now. You can visit when she has recovered form surgery." A nurse said ushering Vaughn and Chris out. Vaughn stayed by Sydney for a moment, while Chris walked out. He grabbed her hand.
    "I LOVE YOU SYD. I LOVE YOU." He said. Sydney wanted to tell him the same thing, she had loved him for so long. All she could do was nod. She saw a gold ring around Vauhn's wedding ring finger. She felt a strange feeling in her stomach and threw up, narrowly missing Vaughn. Vaughn noticed the blood in the puddle on the floor. Sydney yelled out in pain and the doctors rushed her out.
    "What's wroong with her?" Vaughn asked, trying to look past the nurse and see Sydney.
    "Internal bleeding. You need to leave." Vaughn was pushed out of the room. He flopped down on the chair next to Chris but got up immediately still feeling jealous that Sydney had chosen him over Vaughn when she had wanted to leave. He knew it was childish but he didn't care, he left the hospital wing to find Jack Bristow.

    :blink: man that took a long time to write, my hands kill. Anyways enjoy the story and remembe to read IDENTITY over in general fiction. keep looking for the new chapters coming soon. :ph34r: bye
     
  18. IcY_Dj

    IcY_Dj Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2003
    That was great! And I agree, English ppl don't talk like Sark!
     
  19. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

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    yah, they don't talk ike Sark, Sark is his own kind. great chapt!
     
  20. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

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    Feb 27, 2003
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    yah, they don't talk ike Sark, Sark is his own kind. great chapt!
     

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