gtwallichs
Cadet
That was a great and awesome chapter! 
I can't wait to find out what happens next for Syd and Vaughn!
I can't wait to find out what happens next for Syd and Vaughn!
Redemption
- Thread starter spyprof
- Start date
Michael_Vartan_Hottie
Cadet
I'm sorry i haven't review untill now. I really love this fic i just got super busy,
becfromaussie
Cadet
Hi, I love this story.
Please update SOON!!
Please update SOON!!
I remember reading this story over at SD-1. Reading it again reminded me how I wanted to hit Vaughn up the side of his head. How he never felt it was necessary to call or write Sydney until he got her the charm. Even when he was back in the states he just sent her one or two line post cards, something a friend might send. He never once thought that she might believe he didn't care for her. Come to think of it, for a whole year, until he called Eric, he didn't even bother to find out how she was...actually he didn't even ask then, all he was interested in was her reaction to the charm. So, for 15 or so months, he left the woman he loved behind and didn't talk to her once, or care to find out how the separation was affecting her. He probably thought she was just working away, patiently waiting for him to show up at her door- no matter how long he took.
Chris
Chris
*freelancer*
Cadet
Please update!! I think this fic is really great, one of the best!
I know it has been forever. I shall post more frequently if you inturn review more frequently. Kay?
I love these two chapters!
Can we try that again?: Chapter 17
Neither Sydney nor Vaughn noticed Weiss and Carmel leaving. Words seemed impossible as they took in the sight of each other. Finally, Vaughn broke the silence.
“Do you think we could start again?”
A hint of a dimple appeared at the corner of Syd’s mouth.
“I think that’s a good plan.”
Vaughn rocked back on his heels, shoving his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. His hands wanted to be in someone else’s pockets but he managed to will them into submission with the promise of future hand to…something contact with Sydney. Hopefully he would be able to keep that promise. After her abrupt departure from the warehouse, Vaughn wasn’t quite sure anymore. He decided to go for something safe.
“Would you like to go get some coffee.”
That sounded safe enough to Sydney; although she had a horrible feeling Vaughn wanted her in public so he could let her down without a scene. He forgetting she could kick his butt in public or private.
“Ok, there is a great coffee shop on the other side of the park. Would you like to walk (and postpone the inevitable she thought)?
Vaughn grinned in relief. She wasn’t going to slam the door in his face after all.
“That sounds great.”
Sydney shut the door behind her and they headed across the street to the park.
They walked along the tree lined path through the park. Like an Amish couple on a date, they walked side by side, hands clasped behind their backs, not touching. Both had a question they were afraid to ask.
They both took a deep breath and blurted out simultaneously
“What happened in the…”
“I need to know one thing…”
They both laughed nervously and Vaughn gave Syd a florid bow.
“After you my lady.”
Sydney took a deep breath and crossed her arms across her chest.
“I need to know how long you are staying.”
Vaughn looked at her, his brow beginning to furrow in puzzlement.
“What do you mean?”
“How long before you move on?”
“I’m not moving! I’m here for good.”
Sydney nodded slightly and turned her head to the side, gazing across the park at some kids playing ball, unable to look at Vaughn when she asked him the next question.
“I guess what I mean is... are you moving on from me?”
Sydney was still staring off in the distance and didn’t see Vaughn’s gaze narrow. His voice dropped low and raspy, filled with incredulity.
“What?”
Sydney continued to talk, almost as if she was speaking to herself.
“How was I supposed to know?”
“I’ll I got were postcards and little presents, enough to keep me hopeful, but not enough for me to KNOW!”
“You kept talking about coming to terms with your past and learning to move on. So does that mean me too? Am I part of that past you want to let go?”
“I’m used to it. People I love leave me Vaughn. My mother, Danny, Noah, Will, Francie…you. I know that may not be fair, but you left me for Lauren and I didn’t even get you back before you left again without me.”
“So that’s why I need to know. Why are you here?”
Throughout Sydney’s outburst, a small flame began to ignite deep in Vaughn. As he heard her pain, the flame grew, illuminating his anger.
Anger at Irina, who abandoned the child Sydney for a centuries old madman,
Jack for being unable to give her the love she needed,
SD6 for taking Danny and with him Sydney’s innocence,
Noah for being an SOB who didn’t ever have the right to touch her,
And finally at himself for trying to protect her and hurting her even more, making her question his devotion.
Vaughn had planned a slow romantic seduction to woo Sydney back. Luckily Vaughn was adept at improvisation. That plan flew out the window in the face of the pain and uncertainty in Sydney’s voice. Emotion took over as Sydney uttered her last statement.
Vaughn grabbed Sydney by the shoulders. She did not even have a moment to register his sudden touch before Vaughn picked her up with a strength she did not remember he possessed, spun her around and pressed her back up against a tree. His hard, lean body pressed against her, his lips inches from her. His voice was hoarse with emotion. The same emotions were reflected in the green eyes in which she was forced to look.
“You NEVER have to doubt what I feel for you.”
He punctuated his statement by erasing the distance between their lips. His mouth on hers was moist and hot, searing his emotions onto her lips. Sydney resisted at first, still unwilling to believe what he was telling her, protecting her heart form another loss. The passion and longing he was transferring to her finally transversed her senses to her brain, then finally her heart. The walls she had so carefully constructed began to crash down and at long last she finally thought she could believe. With the bricks beginning to crumble, the stiffness of her body dissolved and she melted into Vaughn. Her lips returned his passion, her tongue initiating a dance with his. With that intimate touch, Vaughn gave a small sob, fisting her hair in his hands, pulling her face even closer to his. Sydney grabbed his t-shirt pulling him to her increasing the dual sensation of Vaughn pressed against her and the rough bark of the tree.
Almost as abruptly as he had kissed her, Vaughn pulled away and looked deep into her eyes.
“Now do you know?”
Sydney was lost in his gaze, wanting desperately to swim in their green depths, but still standing on the edge. She broke his gaze and looked down with a shuddering breath, trying to regain her equilibrium. Vaughn did not give her the chance.
His words were aimed not at her ears, but at her heart.
“In my life there is only one person.”
Sydney continued to look at the ground slightly shaking her head.
“Vaughn don’t. You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better.”
“Sydney look at me.”
He grabbed her chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing her too meet his eyes again. He could see the hesitation and longing she was attempting to hide.
“You will let me say this finally. I should have said this so long ago, but I am going to now.”
“In my life there is only one person who knows me. Knows who I really am. Who can find strengths I didn’t even know I possessed and hold my weaknesses safely in the palm of her hand. One person who I can both protect and rely on without either one of us losing ourselves.”
Vaughn’s eyes softened.
“One person who sets me on fire with a look, a gesture, a piece of clothing… Who I can be stupid and silly and goofy and passionate and creative with.”
There were tears in Vaughn’s eyes as he moved his hand to caress Sydney’s face, wiping the tears from her own eyes.”
“My god Syd, don’t you know that person is you? Only you?”
Vaughn moved closer until there lips were almost touching again.
“Don’t you know that I love you?”
Those were the words.
The words for which she had been waiting for so long. The words that seemed to whisper just out of her hearing, which woke her from a dream she couldn’t quite hold on to. The words she had also been waiting to say, it seems for her entire life. Her hand reached up to erase the lines on Vaughn’s forehead skimming down across his lips, her face transforming into a luminous smile.
“I love you too.”
Vaughn looked at her slightly askance.
“Are you sure?”
It was Sydney’s turn to crush her mouth on his; her joy spreading out to surround them both.
There would be time to talk later. Now they were lost in each other. So lost in the taste and feel of each other they did not even notice the other patrons of the park. Wistful singles wishing they could find that passion, older couples holding hands smiling in remembrance, and parents of young children covering their eyes and pulling them away to avoid the questions.
None of that mattered.
They were together. Coffee Talk: Chapter 18
Sydney and Vaughn were rudely broken apart by Vaughn’s head slamming into Sydney’s eliciting an “Ow! from both of them. Vaughn rubbed the back of his head and bent to retrieve the offending orange Frisbee. They both turned their heads as a group of 4 boys about 7 or 8 years old came screeching to a halt in front of them squabbling.
“I told you not to throw it this way dufus!”
“Did not!”
“Did too”
Vaughn cleared his throat. Sydney was still against the tree and Vaughn was leaning toward her one hand on the tree. The boys formed a huddle whispering to themselves. The apparently newly elected spokes person for the group was pushed forward.
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to hit you in the head...”
“whisper whisper”
“Or anywhere else.”
He paused and looked back at his posse who nodded in encouragement.
“Mister, we were wondering what you were doing?”
Vaughn and Sydney exchanged amused glances. It seemed this was going to be a man to man conversation so Vaughn answered.
“Kissing my girl.”
The four boys gave a collective shudder and pulled their leader back into the huddle where he seemed to talk quickly, gesticulating widely. He broke out of the huddle and stepped back toward Vaughn.
“Is that like an acquired taste?”
Sydney tried to stifle her laughter against Vaughn’s chest. Vaughn lowered his head pinching the bridge of his nose, his shoulders shaking. The boys misinterpreted their silence as confusion, so the leader decided he needed to explain further.
“My mom has coffee every morning and says it helps her wake up. One day when I was really tired I asked if I could try some to you know… get my edge. My mom let me try some out of her coffee mug and man it was awful! My mom said it was an acquired taste. So we were wondering if kissing was like the same thing. “
Vaughn took a breath as he leaned against the tree with one arm and tried to figure out how to explain unbridled passion to preadolescent boys.
“Well, let me ask you this; what is your favorite food?”
He looked at each one in turn as they answered.
“Pizza”
“Pizza”
“Pizza”
“Eggplant”
The rest of the boys rolled their eyes as if very familiar with their friends’ strangeness. The offender shrugged his shoulders, unperturbed.
“What can I say; I’m concerned about filling my body with processed foods.”
Vaughn was pinching the bridge of his nose again and Sydney was looking away from them all, her shoulders shaking. Vaughn bit his lip and tried again.
“Ok, what is your least favorite food…that you all AGREE ON?”
The huddle formed once again. After a short time they all nodded to each other.
“Lima Beans”
“Ok, this is how it is. When you find the right girl, kissing is like pizza or eggplant if you prefer”
He nodded toward the eggplant lover who smiled in acknowledgement.
“Instead of lima beans.”
One of the boys in the huddle looked confused and spoke up. He pointed at Sydney.
“Do you mean she tastes like Pizza?”
Once again the eyes rolled and the leader gave him a whack on the shoulder.
“No you idgit! It’s a MEFANOR!”
“You mean a metaphor” Vaughn interjected.
“Yea that’s what I said, a mefanor. He means you will like kissing as much as you like pizza.”
All of the boys nodded wisely.
There was a pause in the conversation as the boys reached the end of their attention span. There was a scuffle of snickers and elbow nudges as the boys turned to go. The leader yelled over his shoulder as they ran off across the park.
“Have fun eating pizza mister!”
Sydney and Vaughn succumbed to the laughter, leaning against each other for support. Sydney was the first to recover.
“Ok oh fount of knowledge, should we go get that coffee before we have to field anymore questions?”
Vaughn laughed, then sobered, running his finger along Sydney’s lips.
“Yea, we have some talking to do don’t we.”
“Yea”
“Ok, let’s go, but I think I had better get decaf”
“What? You don’t want an “edge?”
Vaughn leaned her back against the tree again, his lips so close, she could feel vibrations in her own as he spoke.
“Oh, I think you’ve given me quite enough edge.”
They finally broke apart and made there way across the park, hand in hand. Vaughn couldn’t believe he was walking in the park, with Sydney, holding her hand, with no wife, guilt, guns, or missions looming.
Sydney felt like a star struck teen. She never wanted to wash the hand resting in Vaughn’s again.
When they reached the coffee shop, they found it sparsely populated inside with no patrons utilizing the outside chairs. They looked at each other and picked an end outside table where they wouldn’t be overheard. They placed their decaf orders and sat in silence for a moment. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, just a thoughtful one.
Vaughn finally sighed and reached across the table to intertwine his fingers with Syd’s.
“I’ll never learn, will I?”
Sydney smiled.
“You will have to be more specific than that, cause I have a list on that subject.”
Vaughn snorted.
“You have a list of stupid things I keep doing?”
“Yup. Course I also have a list of your sexiest body parts, subcategorized by clothing and occasion.”
Vaughn’s eyes, narrowed, changing color. His fingers began tracing feather light caresses along her wrists, his voice changing timbre.
“Why don’t we discuss that list instead?”
Sydney had to work very hard to separate herself from Vaughn’s caress.
“I’m just a bill, yes I’m only a bill and I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill.”
Okay
“Not so fast pizza boy. First I want to hear what you are talking about.”
She paused.
“But save that thought for later.”
Vaughn groaned then laced his fingers back with hers.
“Well, as you may or may not have noticed, I have a tendency to have blinders on when I think you need to be protected.”
Sydney raised her eyebrows.
Vaughn grinned then pulled his hands away, leaning back in his chair, sobering.
“Seriously Sydney, from the moment I walked through the door of the safe house in Hong Kong, I saw nothing but pain I your eyes. Most of the pain I caused. Everything I did, everything I said or didn’t say caused you pain.”
Vaughn ran his finger through his hair.
“Then we went to Vancouver and I had a chance to put a smile back on your face, only to pull it away again hours later.”
Vaughn reached over to take her hands again.
“I had the noble, albeit inane idea that I would be saving you from more pain by not contacting you.”
Sydney shook her head.
“That has go to be the worst rationale I’ve ever heard.”
Vaughn looked down, lowering his head banging his forehead lightly against their intertwined hands. He looked back up at Sydney.
“I started out wallowing in self pity and loathing, thinking that any contact with me would cause you pain. Then when I started getting my act together, the idea was just stuck in my thick brain.”
It was Sydney’s turn to pull her hands away. She looked at Vaughn with tears glimmering in her eyes.
“It did the exact opposite Vaughn. My heart had been so broken and battered that I really didn’t think there was any left. You proved me wrong by making my heart hurt even more.”
Vaughn was aching to clasp her hands again and reassure her of his love, but knew she had to get this out.
“I’m usually a fairly strong person, but the last few years were kind of rough and my self esteem was a little battered. I had almost no one to talk to except Weiss and later Carmel. Weiss was wonderful and in a way I’m glad you were gone, because he and I would not have gotten so close if you had been here. He is like a brother to me.”
Vaughn had to break in.
“Then can you tell me what’s up with the knitting? When I sent him a note from the Rockies he sent me this beautiful knitted scarf with a little tag “knitted with love from Eric.”
Sydney laughed.
“That is a whole other story! I have the cutest sweater he knit me.”
Vaughn shook his head, and then finally reached across to grab Sydney’s hands.
“I didn’t’ mean to interrupt I want to hear this.”
Sydney sighed, but didn’t’ pull her hands away.
“Well, Weiss and Carmel had just started dating when your cards started coming. They would call and ask me to do stuff with them. I know they were sincere, but I kind of felt like they were pity calls. That’s how I felt with your post cards. You were moving on from me, from us, but wanted to be nice about it.”
Vaughn winced as Sydney continued.
“Then you sent the zamboni.”
Sydney pulled her hands away and pulled a chain from under her shirt. Vaughn had noticed something there while pressed against her at the tree, but had been slightly distracted by other things to wonder what it was.
Sydney fingered it absentmindedly.
“That gave me hope which was almost worse. I had that one last card from you, which I didn’t know quite what to make of. Then nothing until I saw you in that warehouse. I had pretty much come to the conclusion by then that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. That I was in your past and you wanted to keep it that way.”
They both paused as their coffee was delivered. Sydney took a sip to compose her self. Vaughn just held his in his hands frowning into its depth. He started to speak without looking up.
“I am so sorry Syd. I don’t know what to say. I had convinced myself I was thinking of you and your best interests, when actually I was too wrapped up within myself.”
He looked up to meet her eyes.
“In some way there is some truth to what you were thinking. I was very afraid of losing myself again. After you died I was lost. I didn’t think I could be me without you, which is not very healthy I know. It wasn’t a very healthy time in my life. Then with Lauren, I just was so tired I let her define me. Well, we all know how that turned out. When I left I was afraid if I let you into my head, I would rely on you too much and loose myself again. I need to figure out if Michael Vaughn existed and if he was really the wimp he had been acting like.”
Sydney gave him a slight smile.
“Well I hope you figured it out and wont’ refer to yourself in the third person anymore.”
Vaughn laughed.
“Yes I did. I am definitely a better person for this past year. Although I don’t ever feel like I am good enough for you I think I’ve at least moved up the scale from pond scum.”
Vaughn reached for her hands again and kissed them.
“I am just so sorry for all the pain that had to go along with it. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t wish you were by my side. I am very sorry I didn’t tell you. You mean everything to me Sydney. I may have gotten back on my feet on my own, but I know I am a better person with you.”
Sydney broke contact with one hand, stroking the side of his face. Vaughn closed his eyes and turned his face into her caress.
“It wasn’t just you Vaughn. I had my own rebuilding to do. I’m not sure how much help I would have been anyway. I am just now finally feeling like there is some joy and peace in my life. “
Sydney sighed and looked off into the distance.
“I just wish I could share this with my dad.”
Vaughn looked at her confused.
“Why, what happened to your dad?”
I love these two chapters!
Can we try that again?: Chapter 17
Neither Sydney nor Vaughn noticed Weiss and Carmel leaving. Words seemed impossible as they took in the sight of each other. Finally, Vaughn broke the silence.
“Do you think we could start again?”
A hint of a dimple appeared at the corner of Syd’s mouth.
“I think that’s a good plan.”
Vaughn rocked back on his heels, shoving his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. His hands wanted to be in someone else’s pockets but he managed to will them into submission with the promise of future hand to…something contact with Sydney. Hopefully he would be able to keep that promise. After her abrupt departure from the warehouse, Vaughn wasn’t quite sure anymore. He decided to go for something safe.
“Would you like to go get some coffee.”
That sounded safe enough to Sydney; although she had a horrible feeling Vaughn wanted her in public so he could let her down without a scene. He forgetting she could kick his butt in public or private.
“Ok, there is a great coffee shop on the other side of the park. Would you like to walk (and postpone the inevitable she thought)?
Vaughn grinned in relief. She wasn’t going to slam the door in his face after all.
“That sounds great.”
Sydney shut the door behind her and they headed across the street to the park.
They walked along the tree lined path through the park. Like an Amish couple on a date, they walked side by side, hands clasped behind their backs, not touching. Both had a question they were afraid to ask.
They both took a deep breath and blurted out simultaneously
“What happened in the…”
“I need to know one thing…”
They both laughed nervously and Vaughn gave Syd a florid bow.
“After you my lady.”
Sydney took a deep breath and crossed her arms across her chest.
“I need to know how long you are staying.”
Vaughn looked at her, his brow beginning to furrow in puzzlement.
“What do you mean?”
“How long before you move on?”
“I’m not moving! I’m here for good.”
Sydney nodded slightly and turned her head to the side, gazing across the park at some kids playing ball, unable to look at Vaughn when she asked him the next question.
“I guess what I mean is... are you moving on from me?”
Sydney was still staring off in the distance and didn’t see Vaughn’s gaze narrow. His voice dropped low and raspy, filled with incredulity.
“What?”
Sydney continued to talk, almost as if she was speaking to herself.
“How was I supposed to know?”
“I’ll I got were postcards and little presents, enough to keep me hopeful, but not enough for me to KNOW!”
“You kept talking about coming to terms with your past and learning to move on. So does that mean me too? Am I part of that past you want to let go?”
“I’m used to it. People I love leave me Vaughn. My mother, Danny, Noah, Will, Francie…you. I know that may not be fair, but you left me for Lauren and I didn’t even get you back before you left again without me.”
“So that’s why I need to know. Why are you here?”
Throughout Sydney’s outburst, a small flame began to ignite deep in Vaughn. As he heard her pain, the flame grew, illuminating his anger.
Anger at Irina, who abandoned the child Sydney for a centuries old madman,
Jack for being unable to give her the love she needed,
SD6 for taking Danny and with him Sydney’s innocence,
Noah for being an SOB who didn’t ever have the right to touch her,
And finally at himself for trying to protect her and hurting her even more, making her question his devotion.
Vaughn had planned a slow romantic seduction to woo Sydney back. Luckily Vaughn was adept at improvisation. That plan flew out the window in the face of the pain and uncertainty in Sydney’s voice. Emotion took over as Sydney uttered her last statement.
Vaughn grabbed Sydney by the shoulders. She did not even have a moment to register his sudden touch before Vaughn picked her up with a strength she did not remember he possessed, spun her around and pressed her back up against a tree. His hard, lean body pressed against her, his lips inches from her. His voice was hoarse with emotion. The same emotions were reflected in the green eyes in which she was forced to look.
“You NEVER have to doubt what I feel for you.”
He punctuated his statement by erasing the distance between their lips. His mouth on hers was moist and hot, searing his emotions onto her lips. Sydney resisted at first, still unwilling to believe what he was telling her, protecting her heart form another loss. The passion and longing he was transferring to her finally transversed her senses to her brain, then finally her heart. The walls she had so carefully constructed began to crash down and at long last she finally thought she could believe. With the bricks beginning to crumble, the stiffness of her body dissolved and she melted into Vaughn. Her lips returned his passion, her tongue initiating a dance with his. With that intimate touch, Vaughn gave a small sob, fisting her hair in his hands, pulling her face even closer to his. Sydney grabbed his t-shirt pulling him to her increasing the dual sensation of Vaughn pressed against her and the rough bark of the tree.
Almost as abruptly as he had kissed her, Vaughn pulled away and looked deep into her eyes.
“Now do you know?”
Sydney was lost in his gaze, wanting desperately to swim in their green depths, but still standing on the edge. She broke his gaze and looked down with a shuddering breath, trying to regain her equilibrium. Vaughn did not give her the chance.
His words were aimed not at her ears, but at her heart.
“In my life there is only one person.”
Sydney continued to look at the ground slightly shaking her head.
“Vaughn don’t. You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better.”
“Sydney look at me.”
He grabbed her chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing her too meet his eyes again. He could see the hesitation and longing she was attempting to hide.
“You will let me say this finally. I should have said this so long ago, but I am going to now.”
“In my life there is only one person who knows me. Knows who I really am. Who can find strengths I didn’t even know I possessed and hold my weaknesses safely in the palm of her hand. One person who I can both protect and rely on without either one of us losing ourselves.”
Vaughn’s eyes softened.
“One person who sets me on fire with a look, a gesture, a piece of clothing… Who I can be stupid and silly and goofy and passionate and creative with.”
There were tears in Vaughn’s eyes as he moved his hand to caress Sydney’s face, wiping the tears from her own eyes.”
“My god Syd, don’t you know that person is you? Only you?”
Vaughn moved closer until there lips were almost touching again.
“Don’t you know that I love you?”
Those were the words.
The words for which she had been waiting for so long. The words that seemed to whisper just out of her hearing, which woke her from a dream she couldn’t quite hold on to. The words she had also been waiting to say, it seems for her entire life. Her hand reached up to erase the lines on Vaughn’s forehead skimming down across his lips, her face transforming into a luminous smile.
“I love you too.”
Vaughn looked at her slightly askance.
“Are you sure?”
It was Sydney’s turn to crush her mouth on his; her joy spreading out to surround them both.
There would be time to talk later. Now they were lost in each other. So lost in the taste and feel of each other they did not even notice the other patrons of the park. Wistful singles wishing they could find that passion, older couples holding hands smiling in remembrance, and parents of young children covering their eyes and pulling them away to avoid the questions.
None of that mattered.
They were together. Coffee Talk: Chapter 18
Sydney and Vaughn were rudely broken apart by Vaughn’s head slamming into Sydney’s eliciting an “Ow! from both of them. Vaughn rubbed the back of his head and bent to retrieve the offending orange Frisbee. They both turned their heads as a group of 4 boys about 7 or 8 years old came screeching to a halt in front of them squabbling.
“I told you not to throw it this way dufus!”
“Did not!”
“Did too”
Vaughn cleared his throat. Sydney was still against the tree and Vaughn was leaning toward her one hand on the tree. The boys formed a huddle whispering to themselves. The apparently newly elected spokes person for the group was pushed forward.
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to hit you in the head...”
“whisper whisper”
“Or anywhere else.”
He paused and looked back at his posse who nodded in encouragement.
“Mister, we were wondering what you were doing?”
Vaughn and Sydney exchanged amused glances. It seemed this was going to be a man to man conversation so Vaughn answered.
“Kissing my girl.”
The four boys gave a collective shudder and pulled their leader back into the huddle where he seemed to talk quickly, gesticulating widely. He broke out of the huddle and stepped back toward Vaughn.
“Is that like an acquired taste?”
Sydney tried to stifle her laughter against Vaughn’s chest. Vaughn lowered his head pinching the bridge of his nose, his shoulders shaking. The boys misinterpreted their silence as confusion, so the leader decided he needed to explain further.
“My mom has coffee every morning and says it helps her wake up. One day when I was really tired I asked if I could try some to you know… get my edge. My mom let me try some out of her coffee mug and man it was awful! My mom said it was an acquired taste. So we were wondering if kissing was like the same thing. “
Vaughn took a breath as he leaned against the tree with one arm and tried to figure out how to explain unbridled passion to preadolescent boys.
“Well, let me ask you this; what is your favorite food?”
He looked at each one in turn as they answered.
“Pizza”
“Pizza”
“Pizza”
“Eggplant”
The rest of the boys rolled their eyes as if very familiar with their friends’ strangeness. The offender shrugged his shoulders, unperturbed.
“What can I say; I’m concerned about filling my body with processed foods.”
Vaughn was pinching the bridge of his nose again and Sydney was looking away from them all, her shoulders shaking. Vaughn bit his lip and tried again.
“Ok, what is your least favorite food…that you all AGREE ON?”
The huddle formed once again. After a short time they all nodded to each other.
“Lima Beans”
“Ok, this is how it is. When you find the right girl, kissing is like pizza or eggplant if you prefer”
He nodded toward the eggplant lover who smiled in acknowledgement.
“Instead of lima beans.”
One of the boys in the huddle looked confused and spoke up. He pointed at Sydney.
“Do you mean she tastes like Pizza?”
Once again the eyes rolled and the leader gave him a whack on the shoulder.
“No you idgit! It’s a MEFANOR!”
“You mean a metaphor” Vaughn interjected.
“Yea that’s what I said, a mefanor. He means you will like kissing as much as you like pizza.”
All of the boys nodded wisely.
There was a pause in the conversation as the boys reached the end of their attention span. There was a scuffle of snickers and elbow nudges as the boys turned to go. The leader yelled over his shoulder as they ran off across the park.
“Have fun eating pizza mister!”
Sydney and Vaughn succumbed to the laughter, leaning against each other for support. Sydney was the first to recover.
“Ok oh fount of knowledge, should we go get that coffee before we have to field anymore questions?”
Vaughn laughed, then sobered, running his finger along Sydney’s lips.
“Yea, we have some talking to do don’t we.”
“Yea”
“Ok, let’s go, but I think I had better get decaf”
“What? You don’t want an “edge?”
Vaughn leaned her back against the tree again, his lips so close, she could feel vibrations in her own as he spoke.
“Oh, I think you’ve given me quite enough edge.”
They finally broke apart and made there way across the park, hand in hand. Vaughn couldn’t believe he was walking in the park, with Sydney, holding her hand, with no wife, guilt, guns, or missions looming.
Sydney felt like a star struck teen. She never wanted to wash the hand resting in Vaughn’s again.
When they reached the coffee shop, they found it sparsely populated inside with no patrons utilizing the outside chairs. They looked at each other and picked an end outside table where they wouldn’t be overheard. They placed their decaf orders and sat in silence for a moment. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, just a thoughtful one.
Vaughn finally sighed and reached across the table to intertwine his fingers with Syd’s.
“I’ll never learn, will I?”
Sydney smiled.
“You will have to be more specific than that, cause I have a list on that subject.”
Vaughn snorted.
“You have a list of stupid things I keep doing?”
“Yup. Course I also have a list of your sexiest body parts, subcategorized by clothing and occasion.”
Vaughn’s eyes, narrowed, changing color. His fingers began tracing feather light caresses along her wrists, his voice changing timbre.
“Why don’t we discuss that list instead?”
Sydney had to work very hard to separate herself from Vaughn’s caress.
“I’m just a bill, yes I’m only a bill and I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill.”
Okay
“Not so fast pizza boy. First I want to hear what you are talking about.”
She paused.
“But save that thought for later.”
Vaughn groaned then laced his fingers back with hers.
“Well, as you may or may not have noticed, I have a tendency to have blinders on when I think you need to be protected.”
Sydney raised her eyebrows.
Vaughn grinned then pulled his hands away, leaning back in his chair, sobering.
“Seriously Sydney, from the moment I walked through the door of the safe house in Hong Kong, I saw nothing but pain I your eyes. Most of the pain I caused. Everything I did, everything I said or didn’t say caused you pain.”
Vaughn ran his finger through his hair.
“Then we went to Vancouver and I had a chance to put a smile back on your face, only to pull it away again hours later.”
Vaughn reached over to take her hands again.
“I had the noble, albeit inane idea that I would be saving you from more pain by not contacting you.”
Sydney shook her head.
“That has go to be the worst rationale I’ve ever heard.”
Vaughn looked down, lowering his head banging his forehead lightly against their intertwined hands. He looked back up at Sydney.
“I started out wallowing in self pity and loathing, thinking that any contact with me would cause you pain. Then when I started getting my act together, the idea was just stuck in my thick brain.”
It was Sydney’s turn to pull her hands away. She looked at Vaughn with tears glimmering in her eyes.
“It did the exact opposite Vaughn. My heart had been so broken and battered that I really didn’t think there was any left. You proved me wrong by making my heart hurt even more.”
Vaughn was aching to clasp her hands again and reassure her of his love, but knew she had to get this out.
“I’m usually a fairly strong person, but the last few years were kind of rough and my self esteem was a little battered. I had almost no one to talk to except Weiss and later Carmel. Weiss was wonderful and in a way I’m glad you were gone, because he and I would not have gotten so close if you had been here. He is like a brother to me.”
Vaughn had to break in.
“Then can you tell me what’s up with the knitting? When I sent him a note from the Rockies he sent me this beautiful knitted scarf with a little tag “knitted with love from Eric.”
Sydney laughed.
“That is a whole other story! I have the cutest sweater he knit me.”
Vaughn shook his head, and then finally reached across to grab Sydney’s hands.
“I didn’t’ mean to interrupt I want to hear this.”
Sydney sighed, but didn’t’ pull her hands away.
“Well, Weiss and Carmel had just started dating when your cards started coming. They would call and ask me to do stuff with them. I know they were sincere, but I kind of felt like they were pity calls. That’s how I felt with your post cards. You were moving on from me, from us, but wanted to be nice about it.”
Vaughn winced as Sydney continued.
“Then you sent the zamboni.”
Sydney pulled her hands away and pulled a chain from under her shirt. Vaughn had noticed something there while pressed against her at the tree, but had been slightly distracted by other things to wonder what it was.
Sydney fingered it absentmindedly.
“That gave me hope which was almost worse. I had that one last card from you, which I didn’t know quite what to make of. Then nothing until I saw you in that warehouse. I had pretty much come to the conclusion by then that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. That I was in your past and you wanted to keep it that way.”
They both paused as their coffee was delivered. Sydney took a sip to compose her self. Vaughn just held his in his hands frowning into its depth. He started to speak without looking up.
“I am so sorry Syd. I don’t know what to say. I had convinced myself I was thinking of you and your best interests, when actually I was too wrapped up within myself.”
He looked up to meet her eyes.
“In some way there is some truth to what you were thinking. I was very afraid of losing myself again. After you died I was lost. I didn’t think I could be me without you, which is not very healthy I know. It wasn’t a very healthy time in my life. Then with Lauren, I just was so tired I let her define me. Well, we all know how that turned out. When I left I was afraid if I let you into my head, I would rely on you too much and loose myself again. I need to figure out if Michael Vaughn existed and if he was really the wimp he had been acting like.”
Sydney gave him a slight smile.
“Well I hope you figured it out and wont’ refer to yourself in the third person anymore.”
Vaughn laughed.
“Yes I did. I am definitely a better person for this past year. Although I don’t ever feel like I am good enough for you I think I’ve at least moved up the scale from pond scum.”
Vaughn reached for her hands again and kissed them.
“I am just so sorry for all the pain that had to go along with it. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t wish you were by my side. I am very sorry I didn’t tell you. You mean everything to me Sydney. I may have gotten back on my feet on my own, but I know I am a better person with you.”
Sydney broke contact with one hand, stroking the side of his face. Vaughn closed his eyes and turned his face into her caress.
“It wasn’t just you Vaughn. I had my own rebuilding to do. I’m not sure how much help I would have been anyway. I am just now finally feeling like there is some joy and peace in my life. “
Sydney sighed and looked off into the distance.
“I just wish I could share this with my dad.”
Vaughn looked at her confused.
“Why, what happened to your dad?”
gtwallichs
Cadet
Excellent update and you were VERY missed!
mbellsdiva
Cadet
Alright, people, the ride is just beginning.
Just wait until the next adventure begins.
You're gonna love it.
I just love the conversation with the little boys.
I love revisiting it.
Glad to see you posting again, Spyprof.
Just wait until the next adventure begins.
You're gonna love it.
I just love the conversation with the little boys.
I love revisiting it.
Glad to see you posting again, Spyprof.