Redneck Pickup Lines

[HJ-Navarre]

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.


2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.


3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in.


4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.


5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.


6) If you was a tree & I were a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.


7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a
light switch away.


8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."


9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.


11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.


12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til
afternoon.


13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

 

[Kuzzle]

...Wow. Just... wow...

 

[HJ-Navarre]

I don't make them up... I just pass them along.. *hums*

 

[WatchMaker]

Living in east tennesee, not a single one of those have I not heard... Is it wrong to feel bad?

 

[Leo_CinVin]

That's fantastic.

 

[Nnem]

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.


That one is def my favorite.

 

[Zink]

lol, living in California I've heard four of those. I should feel bad. Which reminds me-the idiot rednecks of N. CA are trying to split off with southern OR to make Jefferson.

 

[Daax]

This thread is full of win.

 

[HJ-Navarre]

Living in east tennesee, not a single one of those have I not heard... Is it wrong to feel bad?

On that note... Here are a few pick up lines a friend of mine actually used, successfully:

(add country twang, now)

Are you from Tennessee?
Because you're the only 'Ten I see'

Honey, you look finer than a new set of snow tires.

Baby, you look cuter than a speckled pup.

-------------

My personal favourite pick up.. this has worked repeatedly.. It's always good for a laugh, at least, if done well

scene: club, bar, party
Man sees group of women talking
Guy goes to his hands knees, next to said females, looking at the ground, frantically searching for something.
The man exclaims: "Be careful! ... watch where you step!"
The ladies ask: "What happened? Did you loose something? (duh) A contact lens?"
Guy stand up with wad of chewing gum adhered to his forehead...
"No," he replies, "I lost my gum!"
Queue laughter and swooning.

 

[WatchMaker]

My personal favourite pick up.. this has worked repeatedly.. It's always good for a laugh, at least, if done well

scene: club, bar, party
Man sees group of women talking
Guy goes to his hands knees, next to said females, looking at the ground, frantically searching for something.
The man exclaims: "Be careful! ... watch where you step!"
The ladies ask: "What happened? Did you loose something? (duh) A contact lens?"
Guy stand up with wad of chewing gum adhered to his forehead...
"No," he replies, "I lost my gum!"
Queue laughter and swooning.

Enjoy your early grave. 8-X

 

[Zink]

Gum on forhead cancer?

 

[Dirk Gently]

"Hey I got a new truck and a 12 pack. Any of you girls want to go for a ride?"

...works on groups of girls out of which there may be a "keeper".

 

[Daax]

"Baby, you must be a real bitch, cuz I'm in heat right now."

 

[Azdel]

"Baby, you must be a real bitch, cuz I'm in heat right now."

TAKE ME YOU FOOL!!!!! []

 

[Daax]

I know. I'm a real wooer. ;D