Sanity Saved

“Because, Jack, you can’t change the past.”

Jack can't change the past but Irina won't let it heal. I've come to the conclusion that everything that's gone wrong with the Bristow family is Irina's fault. She got hurt with her sister's death and she takes her pain out on her husband and daughters- and anyone else associated with Katya (i.e. Mia).

For once I wish Jack would stand up to his wife. Because she's making Sydney's life a living hell.

Thanks for the PM.

Chris
 
ok so it took me soo long to reply but OMG! Jack needs to stick

up to Irina! she is making sydney's life hell!!! i really want to know why

mia and irina hate each other soo much!!!!!!!!!

great update and thanks for the pm!
 
i know mia and katya were best friend's and mia was with katya the night she died? or i dunno but mia and katya were best firends!!!!!!!!



haha all this drama is gettign to much



u need to update soon :P



thankx for the pm
 
This chapter will explain Irina's past a little. It's longer than it looks. It's just not spaced out because there's not a lot of dialogue. Hope you all like it!

Chapter 28


Those words echoed in my head. However many times I tried to forget her words and tuck them away, they would just keep replaying, “you can’t change the past.” More like you didn’t want to change it. She wouldn’t even attempt it. What ever happened could be resolved. It could be fixed. We could be happy again, but we wouldn’t. She wouldn’t let us be. She would suck every last amount of joy from this family, until there was nothing left, until we were all dried out. I would most likely be living this stone, cold life the rest of my existence. I knew it was apparent that I came to terms with the horrible realization. Ever since I was little I would hope we would change. I was 17 now, and nothing was different, so I’ve given up on praying. I’ve given up on waiting. There’s no point any longer. I want to so badly just escape and break away from all family ties. The only thing holding me back is Nadia and her situation. I can’t leave her with these people. She would have a newborn baby at that time. She would be going through some of the hardest years of her life. I couldn’t just abandon her and my niece or nephew. She would need me more than ever. My life was such a mess. It was like no matter what I did something would happen to turn it upside down once again. Why couldn’t I just stay upright? The constant blood rush to the head was getting old.

I soon found that falling asleep was not going to be an easy task. Having four broken bones was not the most comfortable sleeping conditions, plus my mind didn’t want to shut off. My body really wasn’t cooperating with me today.

I was about to get out of bed when I realized that I couldn’t walk. We had left my wheelchair downstairs. My dad had carried me up to bed when we got home from the hospital. I had no way of getting downstairs now. I looked around my room helplessly. Seeing no other option, I slowly and carefully swung my legs around the side of my bed and lowered myself to the floor with my one arm. I was just going to have scoot around on my butt. I scooted over to the top of the stairs and slowly started sliding down the steps. I looked around to see if there was anyone to help me get into my wheelchair that was placed at the front door. Per usual, there wasn’t anyone to help. Carefully I had to lift myself up with my one good arm.

All the lights were out in the house; everyone was sound asleep (lucky them). I flicked on the kitchen light. It spread to every corner of the room, but no amount of light would ever give this house the bright sparkle that it once had. It would always be the cold, dark, dreary house to me.

I wheeled over to the fridge and got out some orange juice. I closed the door and gulped down my juice. I paused in mid sip, though. Was I hearing things? I looked around. There was nobody with me. I must just be a little paranoid from the accident. I continued drinking, but stopped once again. There was definitely some noise coming from the dining room; the scrape of a chair on the hardwood floor, the crumpling of paper, and the sniff of someone crying. I slowly made my way in the direction of the mysterious noise. I peered around the door, and in the corner sat my mother. Papers and pictures surrounded her like a giant collage of black and white. Her eyes were tear stained. Her legs were pulled up into her chest and she was looking down. She hadn’t noticed me yet. The lights in the room were all off, but a soft glow of sun was peaking through the shades, flushing my mother with a bright orange light.

She seemed to be mumbling to herself. She clutched a picture in her right hand, while she wiped away a stray tear with the other. I wondered how many times she had sat down here by herself when she thought nobody was watching. She had on jeans and an oversized sweatshirt, and her hair was placed messily on top of her head. She didn’t look extremely emotionally distressed. She looked almost peaceful sitting there by herself.

“Things could have been so much different you know,” she said at full volume level. She lifted her head as if she had known I was there the whole time. She startled me. I should have known that I couldn’t sneak up on my mother.

I wheeled over to her. “Mom, things can still change,” I said almost pleading and begging. She looked down regretfully at the pictures that enclosed her body, and then slowly lifted her eyes to meet my own.

“You have no idea how much I wish that was true, Sydney.”

I took a deep breathe. In this house we never talked about Aunt Katya, but I knew if there was a time to say something about it, this was it.

“Auntie Katya wouldn’t want you to be like this, mom. You know that!”

She snapped her head up at the mention of her sister. “How do you know?” she hissed.

“Because, mom, I knew her, and I know if something ever happened to me I wouldn’t want Nadia to end up like you!”

Those words seemed to hurt her more then I had intended. She looked like she had been slapped in the face. Without another word she swiftly stood up and walked away. I didn’t attempt to follow. I just sat there. That was one of the first times I had actually felt like I might be getting through to her- breaking down those strong barriers. I knew I shouldn’t have brought up Aunt Katya. It was bound to end up hurting her.

I looked down at all the pictures; most of them being my mother and Aunt Katya when they were younger. There was a couple of Aunt Yelena as well. I smiled at how happy all three of them looked together. I crawled onto the floor, and put my back against the wall for support. I started picking through the mound of pictures. They seemed to be organized from oldest to the most recent. I pulled one out from the bottom of the pile, and fingered the glossy back and white picture. It was of the three Derevko sisters. My mom looked to be only three, Aunt Yelena nine, and Aunt Katya six. It was taken in a tree with someone standing below to capture the happy memory. Aunt Yelena was on the highest branch with her long lack hair flowing in front of her face. She had a wide smile and was looking directly at the camera, leaning against the tree for support. Aunt Katya was on the branch below Aunt Yelena with her arm protectively around my young mother. They were laughing with their toothy grins at something. Just by looking at them you could plainly see that they were extremely close. Their eyes were so bright and their smiles so wide; that it was impossible not to see it.

I smiled. I picked through the pile more. Laughing at some of the silly faces they made and simply smiling at how happy my mother looked with her two sisters. She was barely recognizable.

I found one that looked like my mother’s prom. I gasped at how stunningly beautiful she was. Her eyes were bright; unlike now, her smile could light up a room; unlike now, there were no bags underneath her dark eyes; unlike now, and her skin seemed to glow with radiance; unlike now. She looked like one of those girls who were just seemingly beautiful; one of those girls who didn’t even need to try. I recognized my father as her date. His arm was proudly around her back as they posed for the picture. My father had on a suit that I could never imagine him wearing now. He looked so young and happy; it was almost laughable that this was the same man. My mother had her hair piled up on top of her head with a few stray pieces framing her face. There were tiny jewels in her dark hair that sparkled with the flash of the camera. Her dress was black with a silk tie around her waist. The hem rested just above her knees and was in the shape of a bell. Her shoes were black pumps that did up around the ankle. Her makeup was simple; she obviously didn’t need much of it.

I looked to the left of the happy couple and saw another couple. I looked past them and towards the other side of my parents. Beside my mother stood my Aunt Katya. She had on jeans and a sweater, and was smiling proudly beside her sister. Aunt Yelena was there as well. There were two other girls that I didn’t recognize with jeans and sweaters on, too. They looked like they must have been sisters with their similar blonde hair and green eyes. The seven of them all looked so happy that I wanted to bottle it up and keep it for myself forever. I looked towards the doorway. There was not a sound in the house. Quickly I pocketed the picture. I couldn’t stand leaving it here with all the other memories that just depressed my mother.

Before my mother could come back, I climbed into my wheelchair and rolled over into the TV room. I turned on the TV so that it was very quiet. The house was so peaceful and silent that I didn’t want to disturb it. I covered up myself in a blanket and rested my head against a pillow. I had on some early morning talk show. I wasn’t really paying attention, though. My eyes began to flutter. I was so close to sleep when I heard the squeak of the floorboards. I saw Nadia walking down the stairs quietly. She stopped when she noticed my eyes open.

“Did I wake you up?” she whispered, apologetically.

I shook my head, and sat up to make room for her on the couch next to me. I patted the spot to indicate for her to come sit with me. She smiled and walked over. She sat down and pulled her legs up underneath her
“So, how are you doing?” I asked, referring to the whole baby situation.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Kind of freaking out,” she said with a slight laugh and shrug of the shoulders.

“Understandable,” I said.

“Yah, it is,” she whispered, trailing off and looking the other way.

I didn’t say anything. Letting her have her silence. After a few minutes she turned to me. Her eyes were glistening with small tears.

“Nadia, what is it?” I asked, touching her shoulder gently.

She took one deep breath. “I’m thinking of telling mom today,” she said.

“Telling me what?”

I could literally feel Nadia’s blood chill beneath my fingers.

:devil: hehehhehe
Cliff hangers are fun, lol :P
 
“Because, mom, I knew her, and I know if something ever happened to me I wouldn’t want Nadia to end up like you!”


YEAHHHH!!!!!!!! Throw it in her face Syd!! Do it!! Yeahhh!!
Were the blond girls with green eyes in the pictures related to Vaughn somehow? Maybe one was his mom?

Great update.. feel bad for how broken (literally) Syd is. Hope Vaughn will be allowed near her. I LOVE this fic so much, please update soon!!

Thanks for the PM!
 
I'm guessing Mia was one of the blonde girls in the photo.
Hope we get the whole story soon. I wanna know.
Great update and thanks for the pm
 
I think it's about time Nadia tell Irina that Ricky, that perfect guy, from the perfect school, from the perfect side of the tracks; not only almost killed your eldest daughter but knocked up your younger daughter. And now, not only can you be a cold, heartless mother but you can be a cold, heartless grandmother.

Thanks for the PM.

Chris
 
I'm pretty sure that Mia is one fo the girls in the picture.
can't wait to see what happens when Irina finds out about Nadia's pregnancy.
I hope we get the story behind Irina and Mia soon.
Thanks for the pm.
 
did we find out how Katya died?

maybe cause michael's mom had him at 16 and katya and ms vaughn were friends and something happened and irina blames ms vaughn?
 
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