jessie tubb
Cadet
Author: me, Jessie (a.k.a. Tubby)
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters but I wish I did
Summary: Set seven years after Vaughn’s death. After a terrible accident, Syd is left alone.
POV: Sydney’s pov
Paring: S/V
Song: Savin’ Me - Nickelback
One Partner
A/N: thanks to Alex (funkymonkey) for helping me with this and being my beta
Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawling
Oh, I reach for you
I sat there and cried. What else could I do? The people that I have cared about the most have been taken away from me. Why? It was because of my so called ‘job’. The thing, that slowly over time, consumed me and became my life. My life, my friends, my family, my lover and soul mate, and my child. All I have lost. When is it going to stop? Why am I cursed? It is like my touch is poison. Everything I held dear to my soul was taken away from me. Forever. And deep down, I know that eventually it shall consume me too. If it hasn’t already.
I look at the watch on my wrist. His watch. The watch that stopped on the first day we met, October 1st fourteen years ago. And the same watch that started working again seven years later, when the love of my life and father to my unborn child died. A little smile crosses my lips as I remember the time that he told me about his father’s watch. A lone tear falls down my check, adding yet another black streak of mascara to my already pale, streaked face.
Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m falling
I'm falling
It’s five to twelve. In five minutes, it will be midnight. And then it will be our day, 0ctober 1st.
A new day.
A new beginning.
Slowly, I get up off the cold, hard wooden floor and walk into my kitchen, pouring myself another drink. I know I shouldn’t, but I do it anyway.
“Daddy, stop. That tickles!” I hear a little girl cry.
Her voice is so familiar, filled with laughter.
Am I imagining things?
No, I hear her laughter coming from another room. I set the now empty glass on the kitchen counter. With the bottle still in my hand, I carefully walk down the hallway towards the room that I hear the voices coming from.
It is her room.
My little angel’s room.
My little Isabelle’s room.
“Please daddy stop it tickles.” The girl begged. The laughter lingering in her voice.
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
The door was slightly ajar, so I peeked through. Nothing. No voices, no little girl and her daddy. I walked into the room. It was just me, my overactive imagination and a half empty bottle of alcohol in my hand. I had to get out of the room, it holds too many memories. So many things that I can’t bare to face yet.
Instead of pouring my self another glass, I started drinking out of the bottle. I know it won’t heal my wounds, but it helps me to forget them for the meantime.
I want to forget.
I need to forget.
I have to forget.
Slowly, I sink down slowly until I’m sitting on the cold, hard wooden floor resting against the cold wall. Everything in this house seems cold to me. Even I am cold. All the joy in my house, my world, my life had disappeared a few months ago. I want to sleep, yet it won’t take me to the green fields of my dreams about the past and a life once lived. Exhausted, I rest my head on my knees, hugging my legs. Closing my eyes, I listen to the silence surrounding me.
Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m falling
And all I see is you
“Daddy, do you think mummy can see us?”
I heard a whisper. The same little girls voice, but much softer than before.
A little angel’s voice.
“I don’t know baby, I don’t know”
That voice. That was the one I had been dieing to hear for the past seven years. And I knew, at that moment who it was. Afraid that they would disappear if I opened my eyes, so I left them shut.
“Vaughn? Isabelle?” I whispered, my voice shaking slightly “is that you?”
“You know who it is Sydney” he stated simply.
The tears began to fall down my cheeks freely again, and I wasn’t going to hold them back any longer. I had done that for far too long.
“But…but you both died” I whispered, closing my eyes. Feeling my warm tears run down my cheeks. Wishing those words I said weren’t true, “And it is all my fault”
“Look at me Syd” he said simply. Oh how I had longed to hear him call me Syd once again.
Opening my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Vaughn and Isabelle where standing right in front of me, holding each others hand. Some how I managed to get off the cold, hard floor that I was sitting on. This couldn’t be happening. It was just my mind blurring the lines between reality and imaginary. Blurring the lines of life and death.
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I’m calling
And all I need from you
Hurry I’m falling
I'm falling
Letting go of our daughters hand, Vaughn walked across the room and stopped right in front of me. He looked exactly the same as I remembered him, from when I last saw him alive and healthy. When we were in the train yard, before he was shot. But that was seven years ago.
“Sydney, it isn’t your fault for what happened to me or to Isabelle.” He said as he was staring into my eyes “It was meant to happen, even if you could have prevented it. It was better this way.”
“I love you Vaughn” I said with a smile on my lips.
“I know” he replied while giving me one of his knee-weakening smiles and wiping the tears from my face “I love you too”
How I missed his touch.
“We will be together soon. Just the three of us. A family once again.” My dead lover said.
Before I had the chance to ask what he had meant, Vaughn kissed me. My heart pounded in my chest. It had been along time since I had felt like this. Sighing, I deepened the kiss, savouring the feeling of Vaughn kissing me.
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
Hurry I’m falling
Then it all turned black.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
I felt weak, and sleepily I opened my eyes. I wasn’t in my house, in the living room where I had seen my family. Where I had seen Vaughn and Isabelle. But I was in a hospital room, and the brightness of the room hurt my eyes.
“Sydney” I heard a familiar voice.
“Dad?” I asked.
Opening my eyes once more I saw my dad sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed I was in. He took my hand with in his own and rubbed it soothingly and reassuringly.
And all I need is you
Come please I’m calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m falling
I'm falling
I'm falling
“What am I doing here? What happened?” I asked while trying to sit up, but only to find out that I couldn’t so I gave up.
“Sydney…” he started, trying to find the right words to say, “I went to see you because I know that this day has always been hard for you after Vaughn passed. And now with what has happened over the last couple of months with Isabelle, I didn’t want you to be alone. I found you this morning, on your living room floor. You were unconscious and barely breathing.”
I gave him a weak smile as he had finished speaking, giving his hand a little squeeze.
“But you’ll be ok now, and that’s the main thing” he finished
“Dad”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“I feel tired”
“That’s to be expected after everything you have been through last night. Just sleep, I’ll stay here with you.”
Closing my eyes with a little sigh, I let my heartache go, just for the moment.
“I wish I wasn’t here” I said simply
“Where do you want to be?” my father asked patiently
“I wish that I was on the beach.” I replied taking in a deep breath, “With Vaughn and Isabelle. And we could be a family once more”
A lone tear slid unnoticed down my cheek.
“Maybe that will happen someday” he replied, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Maybe much sooner then you’ll think.” I whispered
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp*
The blue waves of the ocean crashed gently on the sandy shore. Two silhouetted figures stood side by side holding hands, looking out onto the horizon. One a little girl and the other her father. Walking up behind them, I made my presence known.
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
Hurry I’m falling
“You were right” I said, watching my family turn around to look at me. “We are together again.”
My little Isabelle let go of her daddy’s hand and ran towards me, throwing herself into my arms. I hugged her back just as tight, never wanting to let go.
“Mummy, I missed you” Isabelle whispered into my ear, giving me a bright smile
“I missed you too pumpkin” I said as I kissed her forehead.
Taking Vaughn’s hand in mine, we stood and admired the view of the ever stretching horizon around us.
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters but I wish I did
Summary: Set seven years after Vaughn’s death. After a terrible accident, Syd is left alone.
POV: Sydney’s pov
Paring: S/V
Song: Savin’ Me - Nickelback
One Partner
A/N: thanks to Alex (funkymonkey) for helping me with this and being my beta
Savin’ Me
Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawling
Oh, I reach for you
I sat there and cried. What else could I do? The people that I have cared about the most have been taken away from me. Why? It was because of my so called ‘job’. The thing, that slowly over time, consumed me and became my life. My life, my friends, my family, my lover and soul mate, and my child. All I have lost. When is it going to stop? Why am I cursed? It is like my touch is poison. Everything I held dear to my soul was taken away from me. Forever. And deep down, I know that eventually it shall consume me too. If it hasn’t already.
I look at the watch on my wrist. His watch. The watch that stopped on the first day we met, October 1st fourteen years ago. And the same watch that started working again seven years later, when the love of my life and father to my unborn child died. A little smile crosses my lips as I remember the time that he told me about his father’s watch. A lone tear falls down my check, adding yet another black streak of mascara to my already pale, streaked face.
Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m falling
I'm falling
It’s five to twelve. In five minutes, it will be midnight. And then it will be our day, 0ctober 1st.
A new day.
A new beginning.
Slowly, I get up off the cold, hard wooden floor and walk into my kitchen, pouring myself another drink. I know I shouldn’t, but I do it anyway.
“Daddy, stop. That tickles!” I hear a little girl cry.
Her voice is so familiar, filled with laughter.
Am I imagining things?
No, I hear her laughter coming from another room. I set the now empty glass on the kitchen counter. With the bottle still in my hand, I carefully walk down the hallway towards the room that I hear the voices coming from.
It is her room.
My little angel’s room.
My little Isabelle’s room.
“Please daddy stop it tickles.” The girl begged. The laughter lingering in her voice.
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
The door was slightly ajar, so I peeked through. Nothing. No voices, no little girl and her daddy. I walked into the room. It was just me, my overactive imagination and a half empty bottle of alcohol in my hand. I had to get out of the room, it holds too many memories. So many things that I can’t bare to face yet.
Instead of pouring my self another glass, I started drinking out of the bottle. I know it won’t heal my wounds, but it helps me to forget them for the meantime.
I want to forget.
I need to forget.
I have to forget.
Slowly, I sink down slowly until I’m sitting on the cold, hard wooden floor resting against the cold wall. Everything in this house seems cold to me. Even I am cold. All the joy in my house, my world, my life had disappeared a few months ago. I want to sleep, yet it won’t take me to the green fields of my dreams about the past and a life once lived. Exhausted, I rest my head on my knees, hugging my legs. Closing my eyes, I listen to the silence surrounding me.
Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m falling
And all I see is you
“Daddy, do you think mummy can see us?”
I heard a whisper. The same little girls voice, but much softer than before.
A little angel’s voice.
“I don’t know baby, I don’t know”
That voice. That was the one I had been dieing to hear for the past seven years. And I knew, at that moment who it was. Afraid that they would disappear if I opened my eyes, so I left them shut.
“Vaughn? Isabelle?” I whispered, my voice shaking slightly “is that you?”
“You know who it is Sydney” he stated simply.
The tears began to fall down my cheeks freely again, and I wasn’t going to hold them back any longer. I had done that for far too long.
“But…but you both died” I whispered, closing my eyes. Feeling my warm tears run down my cheeks. Wishing those words I said weren’t true, “And it is all my fault”
“Look at me Syd” he said simply. Oh how I had longed to hear him call me Syd once again.
Opening my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Vaughn and Isabelle where standing right in front of me, holding each others hand. Some how I managed to get off the cold, hard floor that I was sitting on. This couldn’t be happening. It was just my mind blurring the lines between reality and imaginary. Blurring the lines of life and death.
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I’m calling
And all I need from you
Hurry I’m falling
I'm falling
Letting go of our daughters hand, Vaughn walked across the room and stopped right in front of me. He looked exactly the same as I remembered him, from when I last saw him alive and healthy. When we were in the train yard, before he was shot. But that was seven years ago.
“Sydney, it isn’t your fault for what happened to me or to Isabelle.” He said as he was staring into my eyes “It was meant to happen, even if you could have prevented it. It was better this way.”
“I love you Vaughn” I said with a smile on my lips.
“I know” he replied while giving me one of his knee-weakening smiles and wiping the tears from my face “I love you too”
How I missed his touch.
“We will be together soon. Just the three of us. A family once again.” My dead lover said.
Before I had the chance to ask what he had meant, Vaughn kissed me. My heart pounded in my chest. It had been along time since I had felt like this. Sighing, I deepened the kiss, savouring the feeling of Vaughn kissing me.
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
Hurry I’m falling
Then it all turned black.
~*~*~*~
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
I felt weak, and sleepily I opened my eyes. I wasn’t in my house, in the living room where I had seen my family. Where I had seen Vaughn and Isabelle. But I was in a hospital room, and the brightness of the room hurt my eyes.
“Sydney” I heard a familiar voice.
“Dad?” I asked.
Opening my eyes once more I saw my dad sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed I was in. He took my hand with in his own and rubbed it soothingly and reassuringly.
And all I need is you
Come please I’m calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m falling
I'm falling
I'm falling
“What am I doing here? What happened?” I asked while trying to sit up, but only to find out that I couldn’t so I gave up.
“Sydney…” he started, trying to find the right words to say, “I went to see you because I know that this day has always been hard for you after Vaughn passed. And now with what has happened over the last couple of months with Isabelle, I didn’t want you to be alone. I found you this morning, on your living room floor. You were unconscious and barely breathing.”
I gave him a weak smile as he had finished speaking, giving his hand a little squeeze.
“But you’ll be ok now, and that’s the main thing” he finished
“Dad”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“I feel tired”
“That’s to be expected after everything you have been through last night. Just sleep, I’ll stay here with you.”
Closing my eyes with a little sigh, I let my heartache go, just for the moment.
“I wish I wasn’t here” I said simply
“Where do you want to be?” my father asked patiently
“I wish that I was on the beach.” I replied taking in a deep breath, “With Vaughn and Isabelle. And we could be a family once more”
A lone tear slid unnoticed down my cheek.
“Maybe that will happen someday” he replied, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Maybe much sooner then you’ll think.” I whispered
Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp*
~*~*~*~
The blue waves of the ocean crashed gently on the sandy shore. Two silhouetted figures stood side by side holding hands, looking out onto the horizon. One a little girl and the other her father. Walking up behind them, I made my presence known.
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
Hurry I’m falling
“You were right” I said, watching my family turn around to look at me. “We are together again.”
My little Isabelle let go of her daddy’s hand and ran towards me, throwing herself into my arms. I hugged her back just as tight, never wanting to let go.
“Mummy, I missed you” Isabelle whispered into my ear, giving me a bright smile
“I missed you too pumpkin” I said as I kissed her forehead.
Taking Vaughn’s hand in mine, we stood and admired the view of the ever stretching horizon around us.
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin me
