I've never met him, I've never seen him, I've never known him, my father.... All I know is my mother got divorced before I was born. They were married for quite awhile. I never knew his name, she never told me. Any reference she'd make would be "my old husband." When I was little I'd always ask her where daddy is. She would tell me in the same thing in a cold tone, that he was gone. To this day I'm not even sure what he looks like. I assume I've seen him in an old photo album when I was very young, because when my mother saw me looking at it and she took it away, and I never saw it again. The few things I've ever learned about my father was due part eavesdropping, when my mother would meet with her old friends they briefly mentioned him. Around when I was eight (I think) I stumbled across some old documents, it was my grandfather's death certifcate along with something I'm not quite sure what it was exactly; it may have been an old divorce or marriage certificate, it had my mother's name and "Peter Lee." I should have made a copy of it, or written it down so I could better understand now. But I didn't, and to this day I haven't been lucky enough to stumbled on these things anymore. Over the years my relationship with my mother has drifted apart, we talk and spend time with each other on the weekends but I've never had a real conversation with her for a very long time. I want my old relationship back with her and I want to find out about the man I never knew. But I don't know how to tell her. This week of aloneness has brought toil to my mind. The lack of a hectic schedual has given too much to think. And I don't know what to do. I'm just sitting solemnly, knowing my situation is nothing considering what I've read on other boards of your experiances, but I'm lost and I need some reconciliation.