So this is my life

alias_g

Cadet
A/N: So this is a romance/angst AU story. Sydney tells the tale of two important men in her life. One is Vaughn. Her first love whom she let go only to meet him again eight years later. And the other is Andrew. The man she married in the mean while. So what happens when past meets the present?
Let me know what you think :smiley: And even though the first chapter may seem a bit odd it does expalne in a way to whom she is talking to. So R/R and if you have any questions just ask.


Chapter 1

Sydney found herself in a room she had never seen before. Subconsciously every bone in her body hurt but she couldn’t feel the pain. She had no clue how she had gotten here and she felt chills running down her spine. The walls were in a strange colour of green and blue. There was a window she hadn’t noticed before but no door in sight. And in this room that felt so small yet endless was a sofa. The red kind that shrinks love to have in movies. She took a step towards nowhere and was frightened to hear footsteps coming from the emptiness of the room. All of a sudden there was a man or perhaps a woman standing near the wall that seemed to be the end of this endless place. That figure had appeared from nowhere and came with a cold sweep of wind. It had a face but one she could not recognised or even identify to anything she had ever seen before. There was an odd uncomfortable silence hanging upon these two strangers trying to make sense of each other. All of a sudden Sydney felt the urge to run but found herself unable to move. There was something vicious yet calming about that thing with absorbing eyes. It had a glance you would normally want to hide away from because it makes you feel uncomfortable. But for Sydney it became more and more hypnotising with every second she stood there unable to brake the connection. Realising there was no escape as the window slowly begun to fade she surrendered feeling she had no strength to fight anymore. At least not yet. Not now.

“Sit,” the figure simply said gesturing at the sofa.

“Who… What…” Sydney begun but felt as if she had lost the ability to speak so she stopped trying and did as she was told instead.

“Man or woman?” the figure continued. “I apologize for my weird appearance but I just find you so intriguingly hard to read.”

“What?” Sydney managed say before falling quiet again.

“Whom do you feel more comfortable with?” the figure repeated its question trying to be just slightly more understandable.

“Where…” Sydney begun but wasn’t allowed to finish this time either.

“Too many questions. Just choose. You’ll get your chance to speak soon enough,” the figure replied in a calm soothing voice.

Sydney took a deep breath and automatically wiped away the tear that had appeared from nowhere. It was just there slowly rolling down her cheek. But the pain she had sensed before but never felt was slowly fading away making her mind feel more open. She let out a deep breath and was about to answer but yet again didn’t get the chance to do so.

“Very interesting. I guess a female face is better after all,” the figure said with a smile. And a moment later there stood a woman with shoulder length dark hair wearing creased trousers and a simple t-shirt. Not the most classical beauty but there was something charming and friendly in her whole mysterious presence.

“How did you do that?” Sydney asked feeling puzzled.

“So many questions the answers to you would never understand. You humans with the constant need to make sense of everything. You and your curiosity that knows no boundaries,” the woman replied indicating that Sydney should just stop trying to understand

“But if we had never asked questions and tried to understand the world around us how could have discoveries been made? How could they be made?” Sydney replied taking interest in the given subject.

“Point taken but there are things you can never explain with common sense. And those you can never understand if approached with reasoning. They can only raise questions that will lead further away from the truth because they don’t play by the rules,” the woman said trying to make Sydney understand that there is so much more to life then what we see and feel.

“I know that but…” Sydney replied but was cut off.

“Fear before the unknown is not a sin or the sign of weakness. You have questions because you hope that the answers will lead you to an understanding that will help you cope in this situation,” the woman simply continued making everything sound black and white.

“I can’t say I’m afraid of you but…” Sydney replied but was cut off again.

“Good. Now make yourself comfortable and tell me about your life,” the woman said with a smile.

“About my life?” Sydney asked wondering if she hadn’t heard right.

“Yes. But you don’t have to tell me everything. Just bits and peaces form here and there will do just fine. Whatever feels comfortable,” the woman continued still smiling.

“I just don’t know what to say,” Sydney replied in a partial shock.

“Don’t fight me. It’s for you own good. Trust me and stop doubting so much,” the woman replied with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“It’s just that… I have… Well…” Sydney mumbled not sure what she was trying to say.

“I have all the time in this world to wait but I’m not sure about you,” the woman replied trying to make Sydney understand she had no other choice.

“If only it didn’t feel so uncomfortable and odd,” Sydney replied trying to resist her sorrow.

“Don’t worry. It will get easier,” the woman said trying to be encouraging.

“Well… If you say so,” Sydney answered trying to calm down.

“Think of it as just a story. You are just a storyteller,” the woman suggested.

“Fine,” Sydney replied and did as she had been told.
 
Chapter 2

You want to know about me? Well…

I fell in love for the first time in my life when I was sixteen. His name was Michael Vaughn and I couldn’t get enough of him. He grew up in France and almost every girl wanted him but he only had eyes for me. He helped me with French and there was never a dull moment in our relationship. We occasionally even argued for fun. And yet I never realised what I had before I lost him. Truthfully life took us in different directions and I kind of let him go. He went back to France and I stayed in LA. At first we wrote each other but I stopped replying after I realised how much it made me miss him.


“You let him go?” the woman asked wanting Sydney to explain herself more.

“Yes. I had my dreams and he had his,” she simply replied.

“And?” the woman continued unwilling to drop the subject.

“Well… I couldn’t ask him to stay in LA and I didn’t want to move to France so…” Sydney replied not wanting to discuss this subject.

“I suppose at the age of eighteen it can be a bit hard to imagine to spend the rest of your life with your first love,” the woman said wanting to see her reaction.

“True. I guess deep down I never expected it to last even though he was everything I ever wanted,” Sydney replied sounding somewhat sad.

Anyway… We met because I had been in a hurry and rushed out of the house without my wallet.


Sydney was supposed to meet her friends for a day of fun on the beach and feeling thirsty she had stepped into the near by store figuring if she met them almost on time then it was good enough. After all she was a girl and ten minutes late nothing tragic. Now standing in the too long line that seemed to be moving too slowly she felt it had been a really bad idea. Yet she was reluctant to leave figuring if she was going to be late at least she could rant about it properly. Finally reaching the cashier she got another unfortunate surprise. As she discovered her wallet was gone and she had no money. And then there came the salvation she had never expected.

“Darling what a surprise to see you here,” a guy Sydney had never seen before said and walked over to her.

“Hey,” she replied unsure why wondering where he had shown up from.

“So are we still going to the movies today?” he asked paying for her water bottle.

“Sure,” Sydney replied as they walked out the store.

“I guess it’s a date then,” he said with a smile.

“Do I know you?” Sydney asked once they were out on the street.

“I doubt that,” he shook his head truthfully.

“Thank you for helping me out,” she said with a friendly smile.

“It was nothing,” he replied surprised she wasn’t freaked out.

“So is it your hobby to rescue girls in trouble?” she asked half joking.

“No. You caught my eye in the store and I just didn’t know how to approach you without it seeming too odd but I guess I’m starting to sound like a stalker now so maybe I’ll just shut up,” he rambled feeling he should have expressed himself differently.

“I like honesty. And I do owe you so fine you can have my number,” Sydney replied and wrote it down on a peace of a paper which he had handed her.

“Michael Vaughn,” he finally introduced himself.

“Nice to meet you. And my name wasn’t part of the deal so bye,” Sydney replied shook his hand with a witty smile and walked away leaving him speechless.

Finally meeting her friends over half an hour late she was in a really good mood and while trying to complain about long lines she couldn’t hide her smile. Choosing not to talk about Michael she joked about all the cute guys in the store and how she could stand there and stare at them the whole time. She was a good liar so it probably passed as an apology. Truth was that ever since walking away from him she couldn’t stop giggling for no apparent reason. The whole situation had just been so random that you tend to expect these kinds of things to happen in the movies not in real life. But she did have to admit that he was cute and if it hadn’t been a silly joke then brave too. Or at least to some extent but it was a promising start non-the less. There was just something about him she liked and though doubting he’d ever call she asked her mom to check up on him. After all if there is one thing Sydney knew for sure then it’s better to be safe then sorry.

“Now that must have been an impression,” the woman commented.

“And we did see a movie later that day,” Sydney added with a happy smile apparently loving this memory.

“Well there would have been a story to tell to your kids,” the woman replied innocently.

“We don’t have any,” Sydney corrected.

“I know. I’m just saying if…” the woman explained herself.

“True,” Sydney said with a shrug.

“So your mom checked the background of your soon to be boyfriend?” the woman continued.

“It’s easier than you think so why not,” Sydney replied.

“So tell me about being in love,” the woman said allowing Sydney to continue
 
very very.....what can i say im confused but i will understand later
i like it
can i be addedto the pm list plz
ambre
 
I'll update later this week. Probably on Friday. Thanks for reading :smiley:

The PM list:

dandan
farliieansds225
texasalias2004
fire*N*ice
LittleNicky
syd-157
ambre
 
Chapter 3

We used to have these traditional weekend getaways few times a year. His friend’s family had a cottage by the lake so occasionally they let us use it. Every time we had to swear we wouldn’t burn the house down or damage it in any other way but it was worth it.

“Just the two of you?” the woman asked curiously.

“No. There was me and Michael, Josh and Madelyn, Andy and Caitlin,” Sydney replied naming their mutual friends for the first time realising that non of them were single.

“Sounds fun,” the woman commented.

“It was and there are so many memories. For example...” Sydney replied and begun.

It was Saturday and they were all sitting outside by the fire roasting marshmallows. The night air was cool and the sky clear without a cloud in sight. The full moon reflected on the crystal clear lake and you could hear the grasshoppers sing their peculiar tone. Andy and Caitlin had settled their disagreements that occurred earlier that day and Madelyn had just returned with more marshmallows. Sydney’s head was resting on Vaughn’s shoulder and Josh had brought along his guitar. They were trying to tell each other scary stories but no one seemed frightened. Perhaps they were too tired to believe in any of them or the night just too peculiar to actually listen what the other had to say. Eventually the marshmallows were gone and Josh got out his guitar. He played some new songs he had recently learned and afterwards they found themselves singing typical camp songs. It was peaceful and they felt like only people out there. But of the bunch Andy and Caitlin were the only ones who had actually been camping since she loved the outdoors and by now so did he. Just a small compromise in the name of love he used to say because there was a time he was somewhat too attached to his computer. It had been a big issue in their relationship but she was patient and they managed to overcome it and compromise for each other’s sake. Then Josh, Madelyn, Caitlin and Andy decided to go for a late night swim. They tried to talk Sydney and Vaughn into joining them but the two preferred to go for a short walk instead. They found a nice spot under a tree and curled up in each other’s arms enjoyed the night’s beauty. They made up stories for different stars and just lay there seemingly without a concern in the world.

“What will happen to us?” Sydney suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?” he replied with a question.

“High School’s almost over and where do we stand?” she explained innocently.

“I’ll still love you,” he replied and kissed her gently.

“But I’m scared that something might come between us,” she said sounding somewhat sad.

“Like what?” he asked wondering how to comfort her.

“Life,” she replied shrugging her shoulders.

“Not unless we let it,” he said and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Not everything is in our hands to decide,” she protested in his embrace.

“But that doesn’t mean we won’t have any choices,” he said still holding her close.

“I love you so much,” she whispered gently.

“Think about it this way. The sooner we can stand on our own two feet the sooner we can get married,” Vaughn said and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

“Always an optimist,” she replied and begun tickling him.

Vaughn was taken by a surprise but quickly managed to get a grip on her hands and he wouldn’t let go until she was ready to admit defeat. They sealed their peace with a kiss and then changed the subject to something happier. Eventually Sydney simply fell a sleep right there in his arms. She had felt sleepy at some point but also been reluctant to leave. For a short while he watched his sleeping beauty with a content smile on his face. Then he scooped Sydney up in his arms and carefully trying not to wake her carried her back into the house and tucked her into their bed. Then he put his arms protectively around her waist feeling her stir just slightly next to him and kissed her cheek goodnight.

“Why this one out of all the memories you have?” the woman asked curiously.

“Because it’s the first time I felt the fear of losing him,” Sydney explained and looked away.

“Really?” the woman continued finding it hard to believe.

“Alright the first time I talked to him about it,” Sydney said correcting herself.

“So you two shared the bed?” the woman asked then.

“Yes. It was a three bedroom house,” Sydney explained.

“Now that sounds nice,” the woman commented.

“I never slept with him,” Sydney replied knowing what the woman had implied.

“That doesn’t mean you weren’t tempted to,” the woman replied as if she knew what had been going on in Sydney’s head.

“That is non of your business,” Sydney stated razing her voice just slightly.

“True. So Andy and Caitlin eventually got married am I right?” the woman simply asked changing the subject.

“Yes. But how do you know about it?” Sydney replied feeling somewhat confused.

“That is not relevant. So please don’t attempt to change the subject,” the woman said bluntly.

“I wasn’t trying to,” Sydney pointed out. “Anyway…”
 
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