Now, I wrote this because of a real life situation and I just felt in the mood so it's only one chapter, it was never intended to be more than that, so here we go.
Sorrow
Sorrow flowed through her body; it tingled in her skin, as she sat the end of her bed. It stung at her heart, again and again, leaving it vulnerable, allowing pain entrance into her soul. She smiled allowing it to absorb into her. Her eyes welled as she bit her tongue; she had fought too hard for this. A single tear escaped from her eyes, running its way slowly over the contours that were her cheeks. She did not sob, not gasp, she just let her misery fill her. She didn’t know how to turn it around, stop it from over coming her. The overflowing sense of helplessness, not being able to escape inevitability, it was depressing.
A few minutes before, he had waved her goodbye, and she had smiled, hiding her sadness. She had not wanted him to go. Either way she lost. He had to go, and she knew it, back to what she didn’t. She was afraid, of what was to come, how it would pan out for them. And everyway she looked at it, she would lose him involuntarily. In the past years she had found that life wasn’t fair and it would spite you whenever it would cause most misery to you. But foolishly she had felt safe, protected from life, she had been blind. She didn’t see that her threat lay in family, the people that were supposed to build a person’s life.
She lay back onto her bed and grabbed the corner of her duvet, snuggling with it. She wished it was a different time, that they could just leave, it had crossed her mind many times, but realistically wasn’t an option. How could they leave? No money, no education? No future? Where would they go? How would they live? And that’s when it hit her, they couldn’t leave, being together wasn’t enough, love wasn’t enough. Another tear ran down her face, slightly faster and more intense than the other, leaving wetted skin behind. She sighed, there were only two other ways of looking at it, either they stand up to the nonsense which was clouding their happiness or they continue on not being free to do what they choose, and be together however they like. It was a choice she couldn’t and wouldn’t make. If they stood up for themselves, then they wouldn’t survive it, they couldn’t, something would happen, consequences would separate them. And if it just continued, they would just be controlled until one of them had had enough and left.
She cried, into her duvet, her mind screaming “it was never supposed to be like this” Her mind went quiet as she laid down, cuddling her duvet and the radio which she had not noticed sang, putting her at peace for at least three minutes of the rest of her life.
“We'll do it all,
Everything,
On our own,
We don't need,
Anything,
Or anyone,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know,
How to say,
How I feel,
Those three words,
Are said too much,
They're not enough,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told,
Before we get too old,
Show me a garden that's bursting into life,
Let's waste time,
Chasing cars,
Around our heads,
I need your grace,
To remind me,
To find my own,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told,
Before we get too old,
Show me a garden that's bursting into life,
All that I am,
All that I ever was,
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see,
I don't know where,
Confused about how as well,
Just know that these things will never change for us at all,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
- Chasing Cars, Snowpatrol, Eyes Open
Sorrow
Sorrow flowed through her body; it tingled in her skin, as she sat the end of her bed. It stung at her heart, again and again, leaving it vulnerable, allowing pain entrance into her soul. She smiled allowing it to absorb into her. Her eyes welled as she bit her tongue; she had fought too hard for this. A single tear escaped from her eyes, running its way slowly over the contours that were her cheeks. She did not sob, not gasp, she just let her misery fill her. She didn’t know how to turn it around, stop it from over coming her. The overflowing sense of helplessness, not being able to escape inevitability, it was depressing.
A few minutes before, he had waved her goodbye, and she had smiled, hiding her sadness. She had not wanted him to go. Either way she lost. He had to go, and she knew it, back to what she didn’t. She was afraid, of what was to come, how it would pan out for them. And everyway she looked at it, she would lose him involuntarily. In the past years she had found that life wasn’t fair and it would spite you whenever it would cause most misery to you. But foolishly she had felt safe, protected from life, she had been blind. She didn’t see that her threat lay in family, the people that were supposed to build a person’s life.
She lay back onto her bed and grabbed the corner of her duvet, snuggling with it. She wished it was a different time, that they could just leave, it had crossed her mind many times, but realistically wasn’t an option. How could they leave? No money, no education? No future? Where would they go? How would they live? And that’s when it hit her, they couldn’t leave, being together wasn’t enough, love wasn’t enough. Another tear ran down her face, slightly faster and more intense than the other, leaving wetted skin behind. She sighed, there were only two other ways of looking at it, either they stand up to the nonsense which was clouding their happiness or they continue on not being free to do what they choose, and be together however they like. It was a choice she couldn’t and wouldn’t make. If they stood up for themselves, then they wouldn’t survive it, they couldn’t, something would happen, consequences would separate them. And if it just continued, they would just be controlled until one of them had had enough and left.
She cried, into her duvet, her mind screaming “it was never supposed to be like this” Her mind went quiet as she laid down, cuddling her duvet and the radio which she had not noticed sang, putting her at peace for at least three minutes of the rest of her life.
“We'll do it all,
Everything,
On our own,
We don't need,
Anything,
Or anyone,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know,
How to say,
How I feel,
Those three words,
Are said too much,
They're not enough,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told,
Before we get too old,
Show me a garden that's bursting into life,
Let's waste time,
Chasing cars,
Around our heads,
I need your grace,
To remind me,
To find my own,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told,
Before we get too old,
Show me a garden that's bursting into life,
All that I am,
All that I ever was,
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see,
I don't know where,
Confused about how as well,
Just know that these things will never change for us at all,
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
- Chasing Cars, Snowpatrol, Eyes Open
