$0 - B
Just thought I would tell you all about a realy cool site I came across. It's about this British guy named Mill Millington and the arguments he has had with his German girlfriend. It has to be one of the funniest sites on the net, it has over 2 000 000 hits, so I can't be the only one who thinks so. The site is at
Here is a preview of what you will find there:

*Margret and I are going up a mountain, side by side, on a drag lift in Germany. The white noise of the snow under our skis is the only sound until Margret begins to speak.
Margret - 'This woman - "Hannah", is it? - what's she like?'
Mil - 'She seems OK.'
Margret - 'How old is she.'
Mil - 'About thirty, I think.'
Margret - 'What colour is her hair?'
Mil - 'Black.'
Margret - 'Does she smoke?'
Mil - 'Yes.'

*Margret thinks I'm vain because... I use a mirror when I shave. During this argument in the bathroom - our fourth most popular location for arguments, it will delight and charm you to learn - Margret proved that shaving with a mirror could only be seen as outrageous narcissism by saying, 'None of the other men I've been with,' (my, but it's all I can do to stop myself hugging her when she begins sentences like that) 'None of the other men I've been with used a mirror to shave.'
'Ha! Difficult to check up on that, isn't it? As all the other men you've been with can now only communicate by blinking their eyes!' I said. Much later. When Margret had left the house.

*She keeps making me carry tampons around - 'Here, have these, just in case.'
'Oooooooh, why can't you carry them?'
'I've got no pockets.'
Then, of course, I forget about them. And the next time I'm meeting The Duchess of Kent or someone I pull a handkerchief out of my pocket and shower feminine hygiene products everywhere.

*Margret's four-hundred-and-fifty-second most annoying habit is to stealthily turn off the central heating (then light the gas fire in the room she's in, natch). I'll suddenly notice that, sitting typing at the keyboard, I can see my own breath while from the bedroom one of the kids will call out, 'Papa, I can't feel my legs...' And I'll shiver down the stairs to find the central heating set to 'Summer/Hypothermia/Cryogenic Suspension,' and Margret in the living room watching the TV in a door frame warping furnace.

:LOL: Message from a Toronto Cracker :LOL:
I forgot to add the disclaimer for his site:

"Access to this page is granted solely on the basis of accepting the right of Mil to turn up at your house at any time and stay for as long as he likes. This agreement takes precedence over any local, national or international laws which might otherwise apply in your area of residence - and it was drawn up by Disney's lawyers, so don't embarrass yourself by trying to appeal, eh?"

It's a joke, obviously!

:LOL: Message from a Toronto Cracker :LOL: