Alright, I got one more chapter out YAH . I'm not sure if there will be anymore time after this considering the dealine for the challange is today (hopefully it's extended). I really hope so since I leave this chapter at another cliffy .
Chapter 6
I placed my hands behind me for support or I would have most likely fallen over from pure shock. I was constantly falling, whatever the situation. Why couldn’t I ever stay above ground? The lack of oxygen always left me spinning in a web of lies. My hands were shaking so badly.
“You’re dead. You died,” I said, not knowing how to respond.
“I’m never truly dead.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?”
“This is no joke. It’s unfortunately very real, and we don’t have much time so I suggest you pull yourself together or this will never work.”
“Work? What’s going on here? Where’s my handler? Where’s Alexei?”
“I told you he’s dead.”
I paused. I didn’t know how to ask a question that I didn’t want an answer to, but I needed to know.
“Did you kill him?” I slowly stood up, wanting to be on the same level as her. I felt too vulnerable sitting below her. I didn’t like to be below anyone, always above.
“Yes.”
Her answer was so blunt, with such little remorse for the man’s life that I felt myself flinch from the brutal honesty of her voice.
“I suggest you begin talking from the start,” I told her. There were so many questions that I had to ask this women, my mother, but I wanted to hear it from her mouth.
“Come with me.” She gestured for me to follow her into the other room.
She sat down gracefully into a chair by the window. I followed suit, not particularly wanting to become overly friendly, but my legs were feeling shaky and I doubted I would be able to stand anyway.
“Because of time I’m only going to be able to give you the condensed version of your life.”
I interrupted. “Why do you keep talking about time? What could you possibly tell me about my life that I don’t already know?”
“I’m also going to ask that you don’t interrupt me because you unfortunately don’t know the half of it.” Her voice held the tone of a stern mother, which made me upset. In my mind this woman wasn’t my mother. My mother was dead!
I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back, silently agreeing with her and allowing her to begin.
“It was on your eighth birthday that I last saw you. It was the day I gave you the diamond earrings that I can see you’re still wearing.” She smiled slightly, but continued on with her story when she saw that she would be getting no response from me. “It was on that day that I had to make one of the hardest decisions in my life. I had to leave you. I made you believe that I had died in a car accident, but that wasn’t the case. How much of your younger years do you remember?”
“Oh, so I’m aloud to talk now, am I?” I responded. She gave me an unappreciative look in response. “I don’t remember a lot. Actually, I don’t remember much of anything before my eighth birthday.”
“As expected. Before your sixth birthday you were living here in the United States.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We’re more alike than you like to think. Almost thirty years ago I was trapped in the same life as you are.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You were born here as an American citizen. Your father’s name was Jack and I killed him.”
“What?” I stood up. This was all too much to take in. “You killed my father?”
“It was my job.”
I stopped pacing and turned towards her slowly, my face translating into shock, surprise and fear.
“What exactly was your job?” I asked, slowly.
“What’s your job, Sydney?”
I ignored the fact that she had used my alias instead of my real name, and sat down once again.
“Our situations are very similar. I was sent to America to marry a CIA agent and in doing so my objective was to obtain information from him.”
I placed my face in my hands, rubbing my temples, not believing this. “How come I don’t remember any of this?” I sighed, looking up at my mother for an explanation.
“I’m getting to that. After six years of marriage to Jack it was decided that he was no longer of use to Russia. I was told to kill him and I carried out my orders. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was ordered to kill you as well.”
I took in a sharp intake of breath.
“I couldn’t do it, though. You were my little girl, so I took you with me. I knew it was dangerous. I didn’t tell KGB that you were in my possession. I was convinced that I would be able to hide you from them, but I also knew it would be impossible. I was able to keep you hidden fairly well for two years, but you soon started to become restless. I didn’t know what to do. You barely saw the outside world. It wasn’t right. A young girl shouldn’t have to live such a secluded life, and I didn’t want to be the one responsible for that, so I came up with a plan. I decided the only way that you could live a relatively normal life was if I was to fake my death and make you believe that you lost your mother.”
At this point I didn’t realize that I had silent tears flowing down my cheeks, much like my mother.
“However, I also couldn’t have you remembering life before, so I found a man. He helped me successfully take away your memories of your life in America with your father. I then needed to find someone I could trust with you when I went into hiding. I entrusted you with my sister, Katya. I’ve been in hiding since then, but I’ve always been watching from a distance, Sydney, making sure you’re alright.”
“My name’s not Sydney,” I whispered.
“Yes, it is.”
I looked up quickly. “Sydney’s simply an alias. She’s not real.”
My mother was shaking her head. “Sydney Bristow is your given name. Once the government found out that you were still alive they approached you. I would have liked to stop it, but I couldn’t risk exposure. Sending you here to America was no quincidence. They knew my story, and they believed you would be able to continue on my legacy, not a very good one, mind you. They gave you the name Sydney Bristow believing it would somehow subconsciously make your portrayal of her seem more real to you.”
“So I am Sydney Bristow?” I whispered, not believing it.
“Through and through.” My mom was now smiling widely.
I couldn’t believe this. The girl who I believed I simply fabricated actually did exist. She wasn’t simply a mirage that I was piecing together. She was a puzzle within me that I was slowly putting together until I was able to successfully form the picture perfect image that I had always imagined. My dream was slowly turning into a reality.
“I’d love to explain more of the story to you, Sydney, but right now that’s impossible. I’m here to help you.”
“Help me how?” I asked, this time in a gentler tone, feeling myself warming up to my mother.
“You’re intended extraction day was tomorrow.”
I fell. It was so sudden that I barely felt my feet slip out from underneath me. I don’t believe even my mother was expecting such a dramatic response, but I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to leave my heart behind.
“Sydney, I’m here to help you. You’ve got to stay calm about this or it will never work,” she told me. I started to cry uncontrollable tears straight from my heart. I nodded my head, telling her that I was listening.
“Alexei was here to tell you to kill your husband.”
I choked on my tears. My mother lifted my head so I was looking directly into her eyes. “Sydney, that’s not going to happen. That’s why I’m here. I won’t allow you to live the same life I did. I don’t want you growing up with a cloud of darkness above you, not like me. It won’t be long before they figure out something went wrong and that Alexei is dead. You have to get your husband and tell him the truth. The whole truth. He’s not going to want to listen, he’s going to be enraged, but you have to stay composed and you’ve to act quickly.”
I nodded, trying to process all the information she was throwing at me in such a short time.
“You’ve got to get out of the country. Take whatever you need, but leave no traces of where you went behind.”
“What if he doesn’t come with me? What if he turns me in?” I cried. I couldn’t believe that my worst nightmare was finally seeping into the real world. It was more horrible than I ever imagined.
“If he loves you he’ll listen and he’ll come. He may be mad, but he will come. You’ve got to go now.”
She placed her hand on my back and started leading me towards the door.
“Will I ever see you again, mom?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll always be somewhere with you. Now go, and hurry.” She started pushing me out the door. I began walking quickly down the hallway, attempting to maintain a composed demeanor. I didn’t know how Vaughn would respond to all this. It was all so much, but I prayed my mother was right. I prayed that he wouldn’t shatter my glass heart full of anguish.
“And Sydney…”
I turned around at the sound of my mother’s voice ringing out from behind me.
“Congratulations.” In response I gave her a confused look. “You’ll make a fantastic mother.”
“What?”
“It’s a maternal instinct. I can just tell. Take care of my grandchild.”
And with that she was gone…
Sewn together tight at the seams,
Frozen with fear, frosted in a white blanket of lost dreams
Can a sunflower cry scarlet rapids of tears?
Can something so pleasantly bright possibly sense fear?
Trapped within the mind of a glorious castle,
Fingering the fringe of worn out tassel
Blooming into a sea of overwhelming passion,
Unacceptable in this fashion
Caressed with the brush of tear stricken kiss,
An apparition, it’s just mist
A shattered promise lingering in a cloud,
Turning back the clock to a broken vow
Wind washes over my scorn soul, I prayed I flew
I plummeted into your dark soul, the ocean blue
Sworn together for better or for worse,
I was unaware of the black magic of this sinister curse
Bind by a scarf of mist,
How could I ever feel such bliss?
You were the spider spinning a web of lies,
Our marriage was simply full of inevitable good-byes
I was the fly you went to capture,
Thrown away and left for dead, your weapon of choice: rapture
I stare deep into the sea of your blank eyes,
Now all I see looking back is the winding maze of your vindictive lies
The poem was originally intended for the next chapter, but I don't know if I'll have time to put it in so I included it in this one.