Comedy The Art of Watching "BAD" Movies

Tom

An Old Friend
The Art of Watching "BAD" Movies

Think SyFy, Asylum, 'Mock'Busters & UnCork'd (to name a few)
Perfectly Suitable for Making Fun and Jeering
Sometimes "So Bad It's Good" but more often just
BAD.

Personally, I've been diagnosed with a sickness which causes me to have to watch these movies.

CheeseHead

I must point out that all 'Lo-Budget' films are not necessarily stinkers.
From time to time you will find Lo-Budget movies which have superior acting, superior story, dialog and direction.
I'm often amazed at what can be accomplished on a micro-budget.

This thread focuses on the 'Stinkers' which ya often wonder,
"What were they thinking when they made this movie!"





MockBusters

A mockbuster (also known as knockbuster or a drafting opportunity) is a film created to exploit the publicity of another major motion picture with a similar title or subject. Mockbusters are often made with a low budget and quick production to maximize profits.
Unlike films produced to capitalize on the popularity of a recent release by adopting similar genre or storytelling elements, mockbusters are generally produced concurrently with upcoming films and released direct-to-video at the same time the film they are inspired by is released. A mockbuster may be similar enough in title and/or packaging that consumers confuse it with the actual film it mimics, but their producers maintain that they are simply offering additional products for consumers who want to watch more films in the same subgenres.

SuperDuper SuckFest

SuperDuper SuckFest films are productions which nobody wanted, nobody cares about and nobody in their right minds would actually 'want' to see.
You can find them nearly everywhere a movie can be bought, rented or streamed. Usually in the Rock Bottom Discount Bins.
If you have ever had a bad case of insomnia and turned on the TV late at night, you have probably seen one of these movies.
There are whole YouTube channels dedicated to them.

Grand Delusion Films

Grand Delusion Films are films which think they are good movies but are so bad they are never seen in entirety because nobody can bear watching all the way to the end.
The producers think they know how to produce, the directors think they know how to direct, the actors think they know how to act, the writers think they have a great story and the musical score is anything but music. I'm often wondering which drugs the studio were on when they decided to green-light the production?

Cinematography Slaughter

Cinematography, the art and technology of motion-picture photography. It involves such techniques as the general composition of a scene; the lighting of the set or location; the choice of cameras, lenses, filters, and film stock; the camera angle and movements; and the integration of any special effects.
Cinematography Slaughter is when the film has a great story and good acting, dialog and pace but the film is such a mess it distracts you from being able to be pulled into the movie.
Bad lighting, bad framing, bad special effects, background noises, repeating exact scenes/effects, awkward silences, shaky cam, blurry cam, cell phone cam, long black-screen periods, bad color balance, bad color filter use and so on...

Accuracy Oblivion

While I do realize all movies are a form of fictional fantasy some writers have no clue about reality.
Accuracy Oblivion films are movies in which the writer has no idea what they are talking about. The movie, for the most part, is watchable but the writer ignores reality or is too lazy to do just a lil research to get the facts right. This in and of itself may not be a problem. The problems arise when the goof is so wrong it distracts ya from the movie. This also holds true concerning some big budget high production movies as well. Many times ya come away from the movie feeling like your intelligence has been assaulted and you feel dumber from watching it.



~This section is subject to expansion~​

Reasons to Watch "BAD Movies"

While I do realize there are no "Good" reasons to watch "BAD Movies"
There are instances when it can be a possibility.

Consider the Following:
  1. CheeseHead Syndrome - like me, you are afflicted with a sickness which causes you to 'have to' watch these films.
  2. Insomnia - sometimes it really sucks when you can't sleep.
  3. Punish Your Teenagers - Yeah, I know but it can be pretty fun.
  4. Ambience - start the movie then go do something else, preferrably in another room or outside.
  5. Completion - when your goal is to watch every movie ever made and you have watched all the good ones.
  6. Figure Out Who Your Friends Really Are - your so-called friend tells you to watch it because its a really good movie.
  7. Free Food and Housing - Tell your psychiatrist you really like Asylum Films.
  8. Filmmaking School - doing research on how to NOT make a movie.
  9. Hiding a Hangover - just sit there and zone out while others think you are intently watching the movie.
  10. Clearing the Room - pop one of these babies in the player and watch people scatter.
Suggestions For Ways to Suffer:
  1. Lucky Tonight
    1. Invite your Bf/Gf over for a movie night
    2. Push back the furniture and lay out a nice comfy blanket, don't forget the candles
    3. Pour some wine and turn the sound on the TV down nice and low
    4. Start the "BAD" movie
    5. Focus on which is better
  2. Teach A Lesson
    1. Reward your children for their bad report card
    2. Make them feel intellectually superior
    3. Point out how their bad grades could lead to a career like making these movies
    4. Provide comfort and councelling if needed
  3. Beer Night
    1. Schedule a Movie Beer Night with your friends and co-workers.
    2. Erect a plexiglass barrier in front of your TV with a plastic sheet under it
    3. Select a couple of your finest "BAD Movies"
    4. Evacuate the "wimin n chillen" from the area so they do not become offended by the language
    5. Start the movie and open the beer
    6. Everyone joins in making fun of the movie
  4. Party Games
    1. "Bad Movie" Drinking Game
      • Before the movie make sure there is plenty of alcohol
      • Establish the "rules of the game" ~ when, what and how much to drink
      • Be prepared to pause, rewind and vote
    2. "Bad Movie" Stripping Game
      • Invite adult friends according to your sexual preference
      • Establish the "rules of the game" ~ when and which article of clothing to be removed by whom
      • Make and distribute "pass cards" to allow choice of round participation, allow pass card trading
      • Enjoy recreational substances responsibly
    3. "Bad Movie" Predictions Game
      • Choose movies nobody has had the unfortunate experience to have seen
      • Write down each person's predictions on cards with their names on them about the over-all movie
      • Pause the movie and have them submit new predictions on specific elements of the movie
      • Each correct prediction gets 1 point, each very wrong prediction gets -1 point. The person with the most point wins or loses (up to you)
      • Figure out a prize (perhaps a nice chunk of cheese?)
  5. Mega Madness Marathon
    1. For slumber parties, camping trips, weekend getways, after-event corporate retreats, etc...
    2. There are many "BAD Movie" sets which can work great for marathons. ~ Sharknado, VS, ManEater, Mega
    3. You can also create your own Bad Movie Theme to play as a marathon. ~ BigFoot Movies, Shark Movies, Alien Invasion Movies, Gators and Crocs, etc...


CAUTIONS AND WARNINGS

Los Angeles, California

Never go to Los Angeles, for that matter, stay away from California entirely.
As a matter of fact, never even approach the Western Coast of the United States!

Don't Go Near Dams

Especially Hoover Dam and any river below it.

If you see a Nuclear Power Plant, RUN for your Life!

Better yet, just dig a hole and bury yourself because you're toast!

If you know someone with a family living in California, prepare to send a sympathy card

Chances are good they are getting a divorce or already have been.
Their kids are either incredibly stupid, incredibly rebellious or just plain hate them.

Protect your women

Aliens, bigfoot, monsters, alligators and spiders love to take your women.

Be prepared to be chased

Volcanos, Lava, Tidal Waves, Tornados, Earthquakes and Metorites
can be outrun but only sometimes...

Moon Light

Could cause you to grow hair and want to chase a stick


Carry Extra-Long Jumper Cables

You might need to use them to jumpstart the Earth's core

Beware Government Officials

Especially small town mayors and senators

Beware The Military

The only solution to a given problem is always to nuke it


~This section is subject to expansion~​
 
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