*****
Tuesday – April 30, 1974
V called me at the University. He has new orders for me. I called Jack and asked when he’d be home for dinner. He told me to go ahead and eat…that he had to work late. That was a relief.
I have another assignment. I was going to London for a conference and to do some more research, boning up for my orals. I leave tomorrow for three days. Now I have an extra duty to do. I hope it’s in the city. I want to get it over with fast.
I’m taking my completed journals with me so they can be passed on to K via our mutual courier.
***
Thursday – May 2, 1974
The execution went off without a hitch. I was told to go to a restaurant in Soho. The female agent in question would be there sometime around eight. It was arranged for a waiter, one of our men, to accidentally spill soup on her. She would come to the restroom to clean up. I was to be in it, waiting behind the door.
She entered the restroom muttering to her self about clumsy waiters. I shot her twice. She fell to the floor. I picked her up and put her in one of the stalls, propping her up against the side. She’d stay there until someone came looking. Meanwhile, I left by the rear door and returned to my room at the Claibourne Hotel where the convention was being held. It didn’t take but two hours to complete the job.
I called Jack at his office to tell him I loved him and I do. I find that I miss him more than they would like to know when we’re apart. He is the kindest man I’ve ever known and he respects my intelligence. He told me that he knew I was smarter than he. He said he knew it when I’m getting my doctorate at such a young age. I almost cried.
*****
SYDNEY AND VAUGHN
Sydney was stunned. Her mother was so cold writing about the assassination of the CIA agent. Then in the next sentence writing about how much she loved her husband and how she missed him. She told Vaughn about it.
“Sydney, your mother was not my favorite person and will never be. She was an assassin, trained to kill. That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t room in her heart to love your father. How old is she in this journal?”
“Twenty-three!”
“Yeah, well, suppose she thought she was just doing her job. She didn’t know these agents or their families. They were the enemy and so she killed them.”
“Just doing her job!” Sydney said her eyes closed. “Yeah, that’s what Dad said to me several times. I was doing my job.” She glanced back down at the journal. “I don’t think he ever thought that way about Mom though.
***
Friday – May 11, 1974
I had my orals today. What a bitch that was—sitting in front of three professors answering questions pertaining to my dissertation. They wanted proof that I was right in my assumptions. I thought I was perfect though. I won’t know for a month. At least I think that’s how long. Still Jack said we’re going to be moving at the end of June since he has to report on the 1st of July.
When Jack got home, he wanted to know everything that happened and I filled him in with details that backed up my feelings I’d given all the right answers.
He also told me in passing that MaryAnn Beck, an agent he knew had been killed in London on Thursday the 2nd. The CIA was holding a memorial service tomorrow and asked if I wanted to come. I asked if I knew her and he shook his head. I said I would go. I didn’t know her. After the experience with Philip Krasner’s funeral, I’m not so sure I like to go to memorials when I know the agent or his family, especially when I was involved.
***
Thursday – May 24, 1974
Professor Olson told me, off the cuff, he said, that I passed my orals. Memorial Day is Monday and I would be notified the following Friday. However, unofficially, he wanted me to know now. I kissed him on both cheeks. He blushed and held my hands in a congratulatory style.
“I have other news, Laura, from my friend at UCLA. They have an opening on the English Literature staff for an Associate Professor. The teacher you’re going to replace has died suddenly. It was an auto accident, I believe. Anyway they will interview you on Friday June 24th. Can you be there?”
“Of course! Jack and I are moving on the 20th if all goes as planned.”
“Very well. I’ll tell my friend to set the interview up with Professor Orville Little who is head of the department there. I have every confidence that you will be the new Associate Professor. However, say nothing until I can confirm it. I don’t want to have to say he said no.”
Friday – May 31, 1974
The faculty threw me a party. Professor Olson called me to the faculty room and when I entered almost the entire faculty were there and Jack! He’d left work at Professor Olson’s insistence to be present when I was told the good news. Everyone was both excited and happy for me. It was a feather in the school’s cap that one of their youngest graduate student teachers had received her doctorate. I was proud too! Why shouldn’t I? I did it here in the United States on my own. No help from them.
We were enjoying cake and coffee when Professor Olson announced that I’d been offered a teaching position at one of the largest universities in the US, at UCLA. Of course, most were thrilled by that also. I knew not everyone was pleased. It was a prestigious offer from that university. I know some thought they deserved that chance also.
*****
Thursday – June 20, 1974
We finished our packing yesterday and the moving van picked everything up late afternoon. We spent the night in a motel near the airport. We flew out at 10 a.m. and landed in Los Angeles a little after 1 p.m. their time. It was warm, bright blue skies and with a light breeze. LAX is located near the beach and those breezes keep the smog at bay for landings and take offs.
Jack called a taxi and we went at once to the real estate office he was dealing with. He said he’d found several places that we could look at. I reminded him I had to be interviewed for the job next Monday.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, this will take only a few minutes. Are you up to it after the flight?”
“Silly man,” I smiled. “Let’s go!”
We met the real estate agent who immediately began going to the homes Jack checked out. The third one was the best…a two-story one. It was affordable too if I got my job. Jack said not to worry because it took time to buy a house. We had to make an offer. Our agent gave us an idea that it would take until next week before the owners made a counter offer if any.
It was a three bedroom home. Jack wanted to turn one of the bedrooms into an office for us both. There was a master bedroom which was larger and another which was next to it. The office-to-be was across the hall from it. There were two bathrooms upstairs and a half bath close to the dining room. There was also large living room, kitchen and a family room.
So we made the bid, signed papers, and then left to go to the motel we were staying at while the negotiations were being made. I asked Jack about our belongings that were on their way out from Arlington. He said he’d made arrangements for them to be stored if we hadn’t bought a place.
Monday – June 24, 1974
I was interviewed today at UCLA. I was amazed at the size of the campus. It certainly was bigger than any I had seen. When I found my way to Professor Little’s office I was five minutes late. I told his secretary I had found it confusing and the taxi driver didn’t know where to let me off. I had him leave me at Royce Hall and then one of the students kindly told me where the office was. Luckily it was close by.
The interview went well. I was careful to wear a suit with skirt and not pants. I wore a white blouse and my only jewelry was my wedding ring, watch and earrings that Jack gave me. I needed to make a good impression although I knew my credentials certainly covered that.
I was hired as an Associate Professor, teaching English Literature 101, 102 and English Poetry 101, 102…basic literature and poetry. I’m sure that they will give me more advanced classes after my first year. I’m extremely good at what I do—in every aspect of my life. I will start in late August when the classes begin for the new term.
“Would you be willing to take on a few classes as a substitute during the summer?” He asked.
“Well…” I thought about our new commitment to making payments on a house, “I think I could, but—and I’m not being crass—but my husband and I are buying a home and I need to know how much I would be paid and how meaning weekly…monthly?”
“If you are available we’ll pay you by the week until you take over your regular classes and then it will be paid monthly.”
I was relieved. “Very well, I’ll do it.”
“Good. Ask Mrs. Mitchell, my secretary, for the papers you need to fill out. Complete and bring them back Monday. And welcome to UCLA.”
So I had a full time job and maybe substitute work during the next six, seven weeks depending on the need for a substitute teacher.
Tuesday – June 25, 1974
We got the house! Jack was ecstatic. They took our offer. They are going to move out Wednesday! The man has a job waiting for him in San Jose. He’s a computer expert of some kind. Anyway they were waiting to sell the house in order to leave. The movers are coming tomorrow to take their stuff. On Thursday the owners have arranged for the home to be cleaned inside and out, so we can move in on Friday.
Jack checked our mover’s office to find out where our things were and they will be bringing them here Friday! I am impressed by the way things move here. It certainly was different in my home town.
We’re going shopping too! We need a new bedroom set as we sold the old one to friends of Jack’s at the CIA. We need a few pieces for the office, but that, he said, we can buy later. But for now the bedroom set is the most important! I agree. We haven’t made love for over a week. Living in a motel is not the easiest. One can hear everything that goes on in the next room and I’m not into giving our neighbors pleasure.
Saturday – June 29, 1974
We’re working hard for two days. The movers brought our belongings on Friday and we’ve been busy putting things away. We bought our bedroom set. It’s gorgeous. We have a king-size bed, two dressers, one for each of us and two night stands for each side of the bed. It was delivered this morning.
We took an hour off to christen it! We only had a double bed in Arlington. In fact I never saw a king-size bed before this one. Jack locked our doors; then carried me upstairs where we made love twice.
“Laura,” he said, “I love you so much I cannot think of words to equate it to!”
“I love you too,” I said. “You are the best husband in the world.”
He grinned at me, “…and just how many husbands have you had, darling?”
“Just you, but I cannot imagine any man as good as you are.” I stared up into his face and brought his head and lips gently down to meet mine. That kiss was one of our best.
I fixed dinner tonight—the first one in our new home. It was simple: steak, baked potato, green beans, coffee, and dessert—apple pie. Of course, Jack barbequed the steaks and the pie was store-bought, but I think it was the best meal ever. We were home-owners! I never had a real home with so many rooms! I wish K could be here to see it. V will be jealous when I tell him.
Monday - July 1, 1974
Jack went to work. I’m supposed to clean things up and see to it that the phone is installed. The phone company promised to be there promptly at 9 a.m. I know if they show up it will be because of the CIA order. They were here on time and when they left I called Jack with out new number. I told him I was going out shopping, but would be home after lunch sometime.
When I got to the market, I used the pay phone to call V and give him our new number. He wants to meet me at noon and gave me the name of a motel in Westwood where he would give me new orders.
I told him about the house. He laughed when I told him how fast we bought it. Then he told me they had been the owners’ angels. They actually gave the owners an extra $10,000 in cash to sell it to us at our bid. I laughed with him realizing my life was still under their control. V said he had gotten a job as a clerk with the FBI office. The guy certainly has balls.
I met V at an old motel south of Wilshire and east of Sepulveda. He told me that I had another assignment coming up in a couple of months. They were waiting to confirm the target would be at the place they suspected he was being assigned. I told him that they’d better figure a way for me to leave school and my husband without garnering any suspicion. V promised they would come up with some idea. However, they needed this particular agent gone and they would not accept any excuses when the time came.
“Where is he/she supposed to be?”
“Mexico City.”
“At least it’s close to the same time zone as here in the U.S.” I knew there might be some trouble getting away, but orders were orders. I might get lucky, especially if Jack was on an assignment and out of town. School was something I could manage with an acceptable excuse, but Jack was different.
I left V with a time for our next meeting. It would be on a day that I had to teach and would not cause Jack to ask questions.
*****
Saturday – August 3, 1974
I start my regular classes on Monday. To celebrate, Jack took me out to dinner and dancing. I took a few classes over the summer to make dancing more palatable to him and it was a surprise. I did confess what I had done. He swept me into his arms after we entered the house, carried me upstairs, and made mad passionate love to me twice.
I am the luckiest woman in the world. Some of the female teachers talk about their sex life and complain a lot that their husbands are missing the mark as Valerie said. She teaches English Comp. I, however, decided not to brag about Jack. I want none of them to set their sights on seducing him. He’s mine.
*****
Monday – October 15, 1974
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel nauseous every morning. Food doesn’t appeal to me and I’ve vomited three or four times. I haven’t told Jack. He would send me to one of the CIA doctors and that’s out of the question. I haven’t told V either because every day I think it will go away. I might have the stomach flu. However I’d better get over it. V wants to meet me tomorrow after school regarding the assignment.
***
Tuesday – October 16, 1974
I saw V this afternoon. He gave me the assignment for Mexico City. It will be a sniper shot. I reminded him to have my clothes and rifle available.
“As always,” he said. “Another thing…don’t worry about your husband. He will be away on another assignment.”
“How do you know?”
“I know. It’s been arranged.”
“There’s a high-placed mole in Langley?”
“It’s not for me to say,” he said.
“Humph!” I grunted and left with a slip of paper with the hotel room number where Solis would be staying. I tore it into pieces and discarded it two different trash cans.
I’d barely started dinner after coming home when Jack called to tell me he would be leaving town tonight for the Far East on another assignment. I thanked him for calling and did he want me to pack his suitcase.
“Of course, darling, I’d appreciate it,” he said. He told me what clothes to pack.
“It will be ready for you,” I said, knowing that I could complete my assignment well before he returned.
***
Saturday - October 19, 1974
I flew out of LAX at midnight for Mexico City. I was ticketed in advance so there was no trouble. I landed in the early morning. I got through customs and took at taxi to the hotel across the street from the one Solis was staying at. After checking in I took another taxi to the post office where I picked up a letter sent to a certain box. The letter instructed me where to pick up my equipment and clothes.
I barely got out of the post office before I felt nauseated again. What was wrong with me? Anyway I did get back to my room with everything including what was left in my stomach. I was told Solis was on the top floor six windows to the left at the hotel across the street. I checked out the room using the scope I would attach to my rifle. The two windows were clearly visible and I would be able to make the shot as it was about two hundred yards across from my hotel. I put the scope in my purse and went up to the roof and carefully checked out the target’s room. It was a straight shot. It would have to be from here tonight.
I found a place where I could wait. I just had to be sure it would be secluded. The air conditioning shaft afforded some shade daytimes, but it would be cold tonight. Mexico City is at 8000 feet. I will take the target out when it is dark leaving my equipment behind. This afternoon I will return wearing a fake service person uniform, probably air conditioning. I will take the freight elevator to the top floor then the stairs to the roof.
Later on board LA flight.
It wasn’t the most comfortable wait. It does get dark early in the city because of the altitude. Good thing I wore thermal underclothes otherwise I would have frozen my butt off. It was almost eleven when the target entered his room with a woman! felgercarb! I had to take him out, but what about her? Then she disappeared into the bathroom. To get herself ready, no doubt. Ha! What a surprise she’ll get. I screwed the sight and left off the silencer since I didn’t expect anyone to hear the shots. By the time the police arrived, no one would remember hearing them.
The light was good in his room. He was undressing. He’d just bent down to drop his jockey shorts. As he stood up, I fired. The first bullet hit him in the head and the second tore into his body as he was falling. He was dead when he hit the floor. I moved quickly. The gun was left as is. They would be by to clean up the site, leaving no trace.
I took the elevator down to the basement and hurried out to my truck. No one saw me or if they did, they thought nothing about it. The agent behind the wheel drove off as soon as I entered the rear of the truck. He was driving me to Benito Juarez International while I changed clothes. He would return with more men to sweep the kill site clean and remove my rifle.
With any luck I’ll be home by midnight and in bed.
***
Thursday – October 24, 1974
I’m pregnant! How the hell…? I went to the doctor at UCLA’s faculty clinic on my lunch hour and after describing my symptoms, the doctor gave me a kit. Told me to pee on the stick. It turned blue. felgercarb…felgercarb…now what? Jack is due home tonight. He called me last night to tell me. Do I tell him? Or do I wait? I’m going to wait. I have to tell V, but not until I tell Jack…unless maybe I don’t.
I’m considering an abortion.
Monday – October 28, 1974
I went to the doctor’s office today. I’d made an appointment. I was going to ask for an abortion. I had a story made up. I got to the door and was about to enter, when something made me stop. It was a weird sensation as though a voice whispered in my ear that doing it was unacceptable. I broke out into a sweat and leaned against the wall. Then I decided not to go through with it. I would have the baby, no matter what they said. I’m going to tell Jack.
Tuesday – October 29, 1974
What a shock! I told Jack last night when we were in bed. He nearly jumped straight up.
“A baby? We’re going to have a baby?” When I nodded, he grabbed me, hugging and kissing me from head to foot and paying a great deal of attention to my stomach. “Put your robe on, sweetheart. We have some planning to do.”
“No, no, I have to have a good night’s sleep. What are you thinking?”
“We have to look at our extra room as the baby’s nursery. We should figure our finances out too.”
“Jack darling, the baby won’t be here for at least six or seven months or so. The doctor says I’m two months along now. There is plenty of time for that!” I was laughing too. He was so pleased with himself. Men are so funny. As if a woman wasn’t a more than equal partner in the project! “Don’t forget to buy a box of cigars. Put that on your list of things to do.” I turned over and drifted off to sleep.
*****
SYDNEY AND VAUGHN
“So that’s what happened,” said Sydney. She was reading the journal in bed. She, Vaughn and Isabelle were in her mother’s apartment in Florence. Katya had called the caretaker to tell him to get it ready for Irina’s daughter.
When they arrived, they found the caretaker and his wife, Maria, who was the housekeeper and cook. Both of them extended their sympathy to Sydney on the death of Irina. They both cooed when they saw Isabelle. It didn’t take Sydney long to discover that Irina Derevko was a good employer. She had paid them even after she was dead. Syd knew Katya probably continued the checks. Syd decided that they could stay on even when she went back to L.A.
“What happened,” asked Vaughn looking up from his book?
“Mom told me in Vancouver that she considered having an abortion, but then decided against it. She wrote in the journal that “It was a weird sensation as though a voice whispered in my ear that doing it was unacceptable.”
Vaughn laughed. “Yeah, the voice of Rambaldi…No, it was you! You exerted your will on your mother from the womb.”
Now Sydney laughed, “Yeah…sure. It sounds more reasonable, but still crazier that it was the voice of Milo Rambaldi.”
“We’ll never know, will we?” Vaughn leaned over and kissed her. “Wicked womb witch.”
*****
Thursday – October 31, 1974
V called and said he wanted to see me. It did not go well. At first I thought it was about the job I did in Mexico City. However, it turned out he wanted to know why I was gaining weight, but really wanted to ask if I was pregnant.
“You were warned about that!” He said.
“I’ve taken my birth control pill every day.” I snarled. “I don’t want to be pregnant. It interferes with my work.” I thought I’d get my two cents in before he did. “You think I did it on purpose?”
“Get an abortion. They’ll want you to do it immediately.”
“NO!” I said angrily. “Having his child will tie him closer to me and make him less suspicious. I can stay longer.”
“Get an abortion,” he said again and with a coldness that increased my anger.
I moved into his space to almost six inches in front of his face. “Idiot! Tell them it’s for their benefit if I have the child. Tell them his work on Project Christmas is only two-thirds done. He’s been on other operations. And, by the way, remind them not to send me where he might be if he’s away.”
“How the hell would we know that?” He answered trying to back away from me. “He was in Europe and then in the Far East…”
I moved again toward him. I knew if I could get his attention off my pregnancy and on something else I would win the argument. After all, I was here. They were home and far away. “Don’t argue. I will tell you when he goes on an assignment. Your mole at Langley surely can find out where he’s being sent. If it’s anywhere near where I’m supposed to be that means I don’t go.”
“You can’t…”
“Shut up! Whose head will roll if I’m caught because my husband sees me or someone who works closely with him spots me? It won’t be yours! Just be sure that the next job I do is not going to be compromised!” I slammed out of the room, ran to my car, and tore out of the parking lot. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I didn’t see him come out of the room. I laughed! V was a fool and so were they if they couldn’t see the value of my being pregnant and having a child.
***
Monday – November 11, 1974
I think I’m over being nauseous. It’s been over a week since I spoke with V and I’ve heard nothing. I’m sure he’s up to his neck with communiqués from them. That confrontation must have scared my stomach well. The doctor told me Friday that, although not the norm, it wasn’t unusual to be nauseated this long. I told him it was a good thing it did stop. At least I could eat again without worrying about what I was eating and if it would end up in the toilet.
Jack and I are on a short holiday. He took me up to Monterey for a quiet long weekend. It was cold and windy and foggy in the morning. We took long walks along the bay which is very beautiful. We drove to Carmel for breakfast and then drove down the coast on Highway 1. That almost made me nauseated. The road winds around the coastline almost hugging it. However, it was beautiful.
Jack bought some sandwiches and wine. We picnicked at the edge of a cliff God only knows where, but it was a beautiful day. It kicked! Jack was lying with his head on my stomach when he jumped, looking white as a ghost.
“What?” I said.
“Didn’t you feel it?”
“You mean the baby?”
He came back and sat beside me, pressing his hand over the place where he’d been lying. “This was the spot.”
“It’s been kicking for a day or so.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I leaned forward slightly and kissed him. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
*****
Wednesday – December 25, 1974
It’s Christmas, but it certainly doesn’t seem like it. It’s considerably warmer than I am used to. Even Jack remarked on it today. We decided not to buy each other a present. We are going to use the money we would spend on furniture for the nursery. Bed, crib, rocking chair and combination dresser and the top is the right height to use to change the baby too.
That’s what we did and today, Christmas, we painted, rather Jack painted the room a pale yellow. Tomorrow we will set up the furniture.
Boy or girl…he/she is kicking a lot now and I still have three or four more months to go.
TBC
Tuesday – April 30, 1974
V called me at the University. He has new orders for me. I called Jack and asked when he’d be home for dinner. He told me to go ahead and eat…that he had to work late. That was a relief.
I have another assignment. I was going to London for a conference and to do some more research, boning up for my orals. I leave tomorrow for three days. Now I have an extra duty to do. I hope it’s in the city. I want to get it over with fast.
I’m taking my completed journals with me so they can be passed on to K via our mutual courier.
***
Thursday – May 2, 1974
The execution went off without a hitch. I was told to go to a restaurant in Soho. The female agent in question would be there sometime around eight. It was arranged for a waiter, one of our men, to accidentally spill soup on her. She would come to the restroom to clean up. I was to be in it, waiting behind the door.
She entered the restroom muttering to her self about clumsy waiters. I shot her twice. She fell to the floor. I picked her up and put her in one of the stalls, propping her up against the side. She’d stay there until someone came looking. Meanwhile, I left by the rear door and returned to my room at the Claibourne Hotel where the convention was being held. It didn’t take but two hours to complete the job.
I called Jack at his office to tell him I loved him and I do. I find that I miss him more than they would like to know when we’re apart. He is the kindest man I’ve ever known and he respects my intelligence. He told me that he knew I was smarter than he. He said he knew it when I’m getting my doctorate at such a young age. I almost cried.
*****
SYDNEY AND VAUGHN
Sydney was stunned. Her mother was so cold writing about the assassination of the CIA agent. Then in the next sentence writing about how much she loved her husband and how she missed him. She told Vaughn about it.
“Sydney, your mother was not my favorite person and will never be. She was an assassin, trained to kill. That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t room in her heart to love your father. How old is she in this journal?”
“Twenty-three!”
“Yeah, well, suppose she thought she was just doing her job. She didn’t know these agents or their families. They were the enemy and so she killed them.”
“Just doing her job!” Sydney said her eyes closed. “Yeah, that’s what Dad said to me several times. I was doing my job.” She glanced back down at the journal. “I don’t think he ever thought that way about Mom though.
***
Friday – May 11, 1974
I had my orals today. What a bitch that was—sitting in front of three professors answering questions pertaining to my dissertation. They wanted proof that I was right in my assumptions. I thought I was perfect though. I won’t know for a month. At least I think that’s how long. Still Jack said we’re going to be moving at the end of June since he has to report on the 1st of July.
When Jack got home, he wanted to know everything that happened and I filled him in with details that backed up my feelings I’d given all the right answers.
He also told me in passing that MaryAnn Beck, an agent he knew had been killed in London on Thursday the 2nd. The CIA was holding a memorial service tomorrow and asked if I wanted to come. I asked if I knew her and he shook his head. I said I would go. I didn’t know her. After the experience with Philip Krasner’s funeral, I’m not so sure I like to go to memorials when I know the agent or his family, especially when I was involved.
***
Thursday – May 24, 1974
Professor Olson told me, off the cuff, he said, that I passed my orals. Memorial Day is Monday and I would be notified the following Friday. However, unofficially, he wanted me to know now. I kissed him on both cheeks. He blushed and held my hands in a congratulatory style.
“I have other news, Laura, from my friend at UCLA. They have an opening on the English Literature staff for an Associate Professor. The teacher you’re going to replace has died suddenly. It was an auto accident, I believe. Anyway they will interview you on Friday June 24th. Can you be there?”
“Of course! Jack and I are moving on the 20th if all goes as planned.”
“Very well. I’ll tell my friend to set the interview up with Professor Orville Little who is head of the department there. I have every confidence that you will be the new Associate Professor. However, say nothing until I can confirm it. I don’t want to have to say he said no.”
Friday – May 31, 1974
The faculty threw me a party. Professor Olson called me to the faculty room and when I entered almost the entire faculty were there and Jack! He’d left work at Professor Olson’s insistence to be present when I was told the good news. Everyone was both excited and happy for me. It was a feather in the school’s cap that one of their youngest graduate student teachers had received her doctorate. I was proud too! Why shouldn’t I? I did it here in the United States on my own. No help from them.
We were enjoying cake and coffee when Professor Olson announced that I’d been offered a teaching position at one of the largest universities in the US, at UCLA. Of course, most were thrilled by that also. I knew not everyone was pleased. It was a prestigious offer from that university. I know some thought they deserved that chance also.
*****
Thursday – June 20, 1974
We finished our packing yesterday and the moving van picked everything up late afternoon. We spent the night in a motel near the airport. We flew out at 10 a.m. and landed in Los Angeles a little after 1 p.m. their time. It was warm, bright blue skies and with a light breeze. LAX is located near the beach and those breezes keep the smog at bay for landings and take offs.
Jack called a taxi and we went at once to the real estate office he was dealing with. He said he’d found several places that we could look at. I reminded him I had to be interviewed for the job next Monday.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, this will take only a few minutes. Are you up to it after the flight?”
“Silly man,” I smiled. “Let’s go!”
We met the real estate agent who immediately began going to the homes Jack checked out. The third one was the best…a two-story one. It was affordable too if I got my job. Jack said not to worry because it took time to buy a house. We had to make an offer. Our agent gave us an idea that it would take until next week before the owners made a counter offer if any.
It was a three bedroom home. Jack wanted to turn one of the bedrooms into an office for us both. There was a master bedroom which was larger and another which was next to it. The office-to-be was across the hall from it. There were two bathrooms upstairs and a half bath close to the dining room. There was also large living room, kitchen and a family room.
So we made the bid, signed papers, and then left to go to the motel we were staying at while the negotiations were being made. I asked Jack about our belongings that were on their way out from Arlington. He said he’d made arrangements for them to be stored if we hadn’t bought a place.
Monday – June 24, 1974
I was interviewed today at UCLA. I was amazed at the size of the campus. It certainly was bigger than any I had seen. When I found my way to Professor Little’s office I was five minutes late. I told his secretary I had found it confusing and the taxi driver didn’t know where to let me off. I had him leave me at Royce Hall and then one of the students kindly told me where the office was. Luckily it was close by.
The interview went well. I was careful to wear a suit with skirt and not pants. I wore a white blouse and my only jewelry was my wedding ring, watch and earrings that Jack gave me. I needed to make a good impression although I knew my credentials certainly covered that.
I was hired as an Associate Professor, teaching English Literature 101, 102 and English Poetry 101, 102…basic literature and poetry. I’m sure that they will give me more advanced classes after my first year. I’m extremely good at what I do—in every aspect of my life. I will start in late August when the classes begin for the new term.
“Would you be willing to take on a few classes as a substitute during the summer?” He asked.
“Well…” I thought about our new commitment to making payments on a house, “I think I could, but—and I’m not being crass—but my husband and I are buying a home and I need to know how much I would be paid and how meaning weekly…monthly?”
“If you are available we’ll pay you by the week until you take over your regular classes and then it will be paid monthly.”
I was relieved. “Very well, I’ll do it.”
“Good. Ask Mrs. Mitchell, my secretary, for the papers you need to fill out. Complete and bring them back Monday. And welcome to UCLA.”
So I had a full time job and maybe substitute work during the next six, seven weeks depending on the need for a substitute teacher.
Tuesday – June 25, 1974
We got the house! Jack was ecstatic. They took our offer. They are going to move out Wednesday! The man has a job waiting for him in San Jose. He’s a computer expert of some kind. Anyway they were waiting to sell the house in order to leave. The movers are coming tomorrow to take their stuff. On Thursday the owners have arranged for the home to be cleaned inside and out, so we can move in on Friday.
Jack checked our mover’s office to find out where our things were and they will be bringing them here Friday! I am impressed by the way things move here. It certainly was different in my home town.
We’re going shopping too! We need a new bedroom set as we sold the old one to friends of Jack’s at the CIA. We need a few pieces for the office, but that, he said, we can buy later. But for now the bedroom set is the most important! I agree. We haven’t made love for over a week. Living in a motel is not the easiest. One can hear everything that goes on in the next room and I’m not into giving our neighbors pleasure.
Saturday – June 29, 1974
We’re working hard for two days. The movers brought our belongings on Friday and we’ve been busy putting things away. We bought our bedroom set. It’s gorgeous. We have a king-size bed, two dressers, one for each of us and two night stands for each side of the bed. It was delivered this morning.
We took an hour off to christen it! We only had a double bed in Arlington. In fact I never saw a king-size bed before this one. Jack locked our doors; then carried me upstairs where we made love twice.
“Laura,” he said, “I love you so much I cannot think of words to equate it to!”
“I love you too,” I said. “You are the best husband in the world.”
He grinned at me, “…and just how many husbands have you had, darling?”
“Just you, but I cannot imagine any man as good as you are.” I stared up into his face and brought his head and lips gently down to meet mine. That kiss was one of our best.
I fixed dinner tonight—the first one in our new home. It was simple: steak, baked potato, green beans, coffee, and dessert—apple pie. Of course, Jack barbequed the steaks and the pie was store-bought, but I think it was the best meal ever. We were home-owners! I never had a real home with so many rooms! I wish K could be here to see it. V will be jealous when I tell him.
Monday - July 1, 1974
Jack went to work. I’m supposed to clean things up and see to it that the phone is installed. The phone company promised to be there promptly at 9 a.m. I know if they show up it will be because of the CIA order. They were here on time and when they left I called Jack with out new number. I told him I was going out shopping, but would be home after lunch sometime.
When I got to the market, I used the pay phone to call V and give him our new number. He wants to meet me at noon and gave me the name of a motel in Westwood where he would give me new orders.
I told him about the house. He laughed when I told him how fast we bought it. Then he told me they had been the owners’ angels. They actually gave the owners an extra $10,000 in cash to sell it to us at our bid. I laughed with him realizing my life was still under their control. V said he had gotten a job as a clerk with the FBI office. The guy certainly has balls.
I met V at an old motel south of Wilshire and east of Sepulveda. He told me that I had another assignment coming up in a couple of months. They were waiting to confirm the target would be at the place they suspected he was being assigned. I told him that they’d better figure a way for me to leave school and my husband without garnering any suspicion. V promised they would come up with some idea. However, they needed this particular agent gone and they would not accept any excuses when the time came.
“Where is he/she supposed to be?”
“Mexico City.”
“At least it’s close to the same time zone as here in the U.S.” I knew there might be some trouble getting away, but orders were orders. I might get lucky, especially if Jack was on an assignment and out of town. School was something I could manage with an acceptable excuse, but Jack was different.
I left V with a time for our next meeting. It would be on a day that I had to teach and would not cause Jack to ask questions.
*****
Saturday – August 3, 1974
I start my regular classes on Monday. To celebrate, Jack took me out to dinner and dancing. I took a few classes over the summer to make dancing more palatable to him and it was a surprise. I did confess what I had done. He swept me into his arms after we entered the house, carried me upstairs, and made mad passionate love to me twice.
I am the luckiest woman in the world. Some of the female teachers talk about their sex life and complain a lot that their husbands are missing the mark as Valerie said. She teaches English Comp. I, however, decided not to brag about Jack. I want none of them to set their sights on seducing him. He’s mine.
*****
Monday – October 15, 1974
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel nauseous every morning. Food doesn’t appeal to me and I’ve vomited three or four times. I haven’t told Jack. He would send me to one of the CIA doctors and that’s out of the question. I haven’t told V either because every day I think it will go away. I might have the stomach flu. However I’d better get over it. V wants to meet me tomorrow after school regarding the assignment.
***
Tuesday – October 16, 1974
I saw V this afternoon. He gave me the assignment for Mexico City. It will be a sniper shot. I reminded him to have my clothes and rifle available.
“As always,” he said. “Another thing…don’t worry about your husband. He will be away on another assignment.”
“How do you know?”
“I know. It’s been arranged.”
“There’s a high-placed mole in Langley?”
“It’s not for me to say,” he said.
“Humph!” I grunted and left with a slip of paper with the hotel room number where Solis would be staying. I tore it into pieces and discarded it two different trash cans.
I’d barely started dinner after coming home when Jack called to tell me he would be leaving town tonight for the Far East on another assignment. I thanked him for calling and did he want me to pack his suitcase.
“Of course, darling, I’d appreciate it,” he said. He told me what clothes to pack.
“It will be ready for you,” I said, knowing that I could complete my assignment well before he returned.
***
Saturday - October 19, 1974
I flew out of LAX at midnight for Mexico City. I was ticketed in advance so there was no trouble. I landed in the early morning. I got through customs and took at taxi to the hotel across the street from the one Solis was staying at. After checking in I took another taxi to the post office where I picked up a letter sent to a certain box. The letter instructed me where to pick up my equipment and clothes.
I barely got out of the post office before I felt nauseated again. What was wrong with me? Anyway I did get back to my room with everything including what was left in my stomach. I was told Solis was on the top floor six windows to the left at the hotel across the street. I checked out the room using the scope I would attach to my rifle. The two windows were clearly visible and I would be able to make the shot as it was about two hundred yards across from my hotel. I put the scope in my purse and went up to the roof and carefully checked out the target’s room. It was a straight shot. It would have to be from here tonight.
I found a place where I could wait. I just had to be sure it would be secluded. The air conditioning shaft afforded some shade daytimes, but it would be cold tonight. Mexico City is at 8000 feet. I will take the target out when it is dark leaving my equipment behind. This afternoon I will return wearing a fake service person uniform, probably air conditioning. I will take the freight elevator to the top floor then the stairs to the roof.
Later on board LA flight.
It wasn’t the most comfortable wait. It does get dark early in the city because of the altitude. Good thing I wore thermal underclothes otherwise I would have frozen my butt off. It was almost eleven when the target entered his room with a woman! felgercarb! I had to take him out, but what about her? Then she disappeared into the bathroom. To get herself ready, no doubt. Ha! What a surprise she’ll get. I screwed the sight and left off the silencer since I didn’t expect anyone to hear the shots. By the time the police arrived, no one would remember hearing them.
The light was good in his room. He was undressing. He’d just bent down to drop his jockey shorts. As he stood up, I fired. The first bullet hit him in the head and the second tore into his body as he was falling. He was dead when he hit the floor. I moved quickly. The gun was left as is. They would be by to clean up the site, leaving no trace.
I took the elevator down to the basement and hurried out to my truck. No one saw me or if they did, they thought nothing about it. The agent behind the wheel drove off as soon as I entered the rear of the truck. He was driving me to Benito Juarez International while I changed clothes. He would return with more men to sweep the kill site clean and remove my rifle.
With any luck I’ll be home by midnight and in bed.
***
Thursday – October 24, 1974
I’m pregnant! How the hell…? I went to the doctor at UCLA’s faculty clinic on my lunch hour and after describing my symptoms, the doctor gave me a kit. Told me to pee on the stick. It turned blue. felgercarb…felgercarb…now what? Jack is due home tonight. He called me last night to tell me. Do I tell him? Or do I wait? I’m going to wait. I have to tell V, but not until I tell Jack…unless maybe I don’t.
I’m considering an abortion.
Monday – October 28, 1974
I went to the doctor’s office today. I’d made an appointment. I was going to ask for an abortion. I had a story made up. I got to the door and was about to enter, when something made me stop. It was a weird sensation as though a voice whispered in my ear that doing it was unacceptable. I broke out into a sweat and leaned against the wall. Then I decided not to go through with it. I would have the baby, no matter what they said. I’m going to tell Jack.
Tuesday – October 29, 1974
What a shock! I told Jack last night when we were in bed. He nearly jumped straight up.
“A baby? We’re going to have a baby?” When I nodded, he grabbed me, hugging and kissing me from head to foot and paying a great deal of attention to my stomach. “Put your robe on, sweetheart. We have some planning to do.”
“No, no, I have to have a good night’s sleep. What are you thinking?”
“We have to look at our extra room as the baby’s nursery. We should figure our finances out too.”
“Jack darling, the baby won’t be here for at least six or seven months or so. The doctor says I’m two months along now. There is plenty of time for that!” I was laughing too. He was so pleased with himself. Men are so funny. As if a woman wasn’t a more than equal partner in the project! “Don’t forget to buy a box of cigars. Put that on your list of things to do.” I turned over and drifted off to sleep.
*****
SYDNEY AND VAUGHN
“So that’s what happened,” said Sydney. She was reading the journal in bed. She, Vaughn and Isabelle were in her mother’s apartment in Florence. Katya had called the caretaker to tell him to get it ready for Irina’s daughter.
When they arrived, they found the caretaker and his wife, Maria, who was the housekeeper and cook. Both of them extended their sympathy to Sydney on the death of Irina. They both cooed when they saw Isabelle. It didn’t take Sydney long to discover that Irina Derevko was a good employer. She had paid them even after she was dead. Syd knew Katya probably continued the checks. Syd decided that they could stay on even when she went back to L.A.
“What happened,” asked Vaughn looking up from his book?
“Mom told me in Vancouver that she considered having an abortion, but then decided against it. She wrote in the journal that “It was a weird sensation as though a voice whispered in my ear that doing it was unacceptable.”
Vaughn laughed. “Yeah, the voice of Rambaldi…No, it was you! You exerted your will on your mother from the womb.”
Now Sydney laughed, “Yeah…sure. It sounds more reasonable, but still crazier that it was the voice of Milo Rambaldi.”
“We’ll never know, will we?” Vaughn leaned over and kissed her. “Wicked womb witch.”
*****
Thursday – October 31, 1974
V called and said he wanted to see me. It did not go well. At first I thought it was about the job I did in Mexico City. However, it turned out he wanted to know why I was gaining weight, but really wanted to ask if I was pregnant.
“You were warned about that!” He said.
“I’ve taken my birth control pill every day.” I snarled. “I don’t want to be pregnant. It interferes with my work.” I thought I’d get my two cents in before he did. “You think I did it on purpose?”
“Get an abortion. They’ll want you to do it immediately.”
“NO!” I said angrily. “Having his child will tie him closer to me and make him less suspicious. I can stay longer.”
“Get an abortion,” he said again and with a coldness that increased my anger.
I moved into his space to almost six inches in front of his face. “Idiot! Tell them it’s for their benefit if I have the child. Tell them his work on Project Christmas is only two-thirds done. He’s been on other operations. And, by the way, remind them not to send me where he might be if he’s away.”
“How the hell would we know that?” He answered trying to back away from me. “He was in Europe and then in the Far East…”
I moved again toward him. I knew if I could get his attention off my pregnancy and on something else I would win the argument. After all, I was here. They were home and far away. “Don’t argue. I will tell you when he goes on an assignment. Your mole at Langley surely can find out where he’s being sent. If it’s anywhere near where I’m supposed to be that means I don’t go.”
“You can’t…”
“Shut up! Whose head will roll if I’m caught because my husband sees me or someone who works closely with him spots me? It won’t be yours! Just be sure that the next job I do is not going to be compromised!” I slammed out of the room, ran to my car, and tore out of the parking lot. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I didn’t see him come out of the room. I laughed! V was a fool and so were they if they couldn’t see the value of my being pregnant and having a child.
***
Monday – November 11, 1974
I think I’m over being nauseous. It’s been over a week since I spoke with V and I’ve heard nothing. I’m sure he’s up to his neck with communiqués from them. That confrontation must have scared my stomach well. The doctor told me Friday that, although not the norm, it wasn’t unusual to be nauseated this long. I told him it was a good thing it did stop. At least I could eat again without worrying about what I was eating and if it would end up in the toilet.
Jack and I are on a short holiday. He took me up to Monterey for a quiet long weekend. It was cold and windy and foggy in the morning. We took long walks along the bay which is very beautiful. We drove to Carmel for breakfast and then drove down the coast on Highway 1. That almost made me nauseated. The road winds around the coastline almost hugging it. However, it was beautiful.
Jack bought some sandwiches and wine. We picnicked at the edge of a cliff God only knows where, but it was a beautiful day. It kicked! Jack was lying with his head on my stomach when he jumped, looking white as a ghost.
“What?” I said.
“Didn’t you feel it?”
“You mean the baby?”
He came back and sat beside me, pressing his hand over the place where he’d been lying. “This was the spot.”
“It’s been kicking for a day or so.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I leaned forward slightly and kissed him. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
*****
Wednesday – December 25, 1974
It’s Christmas, but it certainly doesn’t seem like it. It’s considerably warmer than I am used to. Even Jack remarked on it today. We decided not to buy each other a present. We are going to use the money we would spend on furniture for the nursery. Bed, crib, rocking chair and combination dresser and the top is the right height to use to change the baby too.
That’s what we did and today, Christmas, we painted, rather Jack painted the room a pale yellow. Tomorrow we will set up the furniture.
Boy or girl…he/she is kicking a lot now and I still have three or four more months to go.
TBC
:redhair: