The Edge of Everything I Wanted
- Thread starter i love vaughny
- Start date
Oh wow I love those photos, it doesnt seem she can take a bad photo at all (I wish I got to see her play I read about it but its just not the same)
And I am completly happy with this chapter and the reasoning behind the 'break', I too would give up something I loved if I had to in that situation (I will be too soon when I start uni on mostly scholarships) so it is completly justifiable, I dont think that anything will be wrong between them, I bet that they will both not date and will still call each other to at least talk as friends because they both cant just cut one another out of their lives after being together for so long... I think this break will be good for the both of them and did i ramble on enough
I love Vaughns moms reaction too by the way the slap on the head was great!
And I am completly happy with this chapter and the reasoning behind the 'break', I too would give up something I loved if I had to in that situation (I will be too soon when I start uni on mostly scholarships) so it is completly justifiable, I dont think that anything will be wrong between them, I bet that they will both not date and will still call each other to at least talk as friends because they both cant just cut one another out of their lives after being together for so long... I think this break will be good for the both of them and did i ramble on enough
I love Vaughns moms reaction too by the way the slap on the head was great!
i love vaughny
Cadet
you do know that i'm not updating for like... a month now, right?
i think i have 21 chapters written completely. and 15 are posted here. that's like 71%.
and i have 0 time to write anything in the near future.
just this week i have the most retarded eng essay due tomorrow, a retared journalism article due wed, random other felgercarb, and i have my license test on thurs and i'm freaking out about it.
and don't suggest weekend, either, because that's vocab time (usually takes me around 3 days).
so i was extra nice and now you have to suffer. you know, that's how i roll.
i think i have 21 chapters written completely. and 15 are posted here. that's like 71%.
and i have 0 time to write anything in the near future.
just this week i have the most retarded eng essay due tomorrow, a retared journalism article due wed, random other felgercarb, and i have my license test on thurs and i'm freaking out about it.
and don't suggest weekend, either, because that's vocab time (usually takes me around 3 days).
so i was extra nice and now you have to suffer. you know, that's how i roll.
texasalias2004
Cadet
Great chapter. I think that he made the right decision.
texasalias
texasalias
i love vaughny
Cadet
i love vaughny
Cadet
this is going to sound extremely selfish. but, honestly, the more you guys write on here, the more motivation i get. i know i'm a terrible writer in the fact that i've been writing this fic for 2 years now and i reallllllllllllllllllllllllly appreciate everyone sticking around. seriously, thank you VERY much.
p.s. this is also a bit selfish and shameless, but here's a little blurb my friend and i wrote about cyrano:
http://eastside-online.org/2008/01/09/cyra...es-on-broadway/
p.s. this is also a bit selfish and shameless, but here's a little blurb my friend and i wrote about cyrano:
http://eastside-online.org/2008/01/09/cyra...es-on-broadway/
i love vaughny
Cadet
haha, at this pace, it will! good to know you'll stick it through.
i just want to say that i love chapter 20 to bits and pieces, even though it always makes me want to cry.
and the funny part is, it was supposed to be something 100% different. but i love this so much more than the other thing could have been.
i just want to say that i love chapter 20 to bits and pieces, even though it always makes me want to cry.
and the funny part is, it was supposed to be something 100% different. but i love this so much more than the other thing could have been.
I am very obsessed with this fic and would wait a year for an update (please dont wait that long tho)!i love vaughny
Cadet
a year? that's bad, even for me. i'm working on chapter 22 these days. so still no real update for a while. maybe spoilers in a week or so.
74Aliaschickita47
Cadet
Omgggggggggggggggggg.
I so don't want to read this. Lmao. That sounds soooo bad. But it's not the way you think. I just can't like... read Alias Fictions anymore. It's really sad. But I want to read it! I just, I won't! Argh.
Duuuuuude. I haven't been to these boards in AGES. I don't know what my display picture is. Or how many posts I had. I use to have parties everytime I got to a ... 100th post. Lol. I'm a loser, yes, this I know.
BUT OMG. I haven't been here in a long time. It was Agent somethin' who brought me back. I was looking in my bulk mail and I saw her update and it took me to the SD-1 boards and then I was like "hey, let's check out AA.com" and I did. And here we are.
:: shakes head:: This is crazy.
DID YOU SEE CYRANO?! OMG! I WANT TO! ...well WANTED!
Did you see Juno? Lol, her part was funny. Everybody hated her but I loved her role. I loved Cloverfield too!!! I saw it. It was amazing. Mmk. I'll read this soon. Don't you worry.
Don't you worry.
S.
I so don't want to read this. Lmao. That sounds soooo bad. But it's not the way you think. I just can't like... read Alias Fictions anymore. It's really sad. But I want to read it! I just, I won't! Argh.
Duuuuuude. I haven't been to these boards in AGES. I don't know what my display picture is. Or how many posts I had. I use to have parties everytime I got to a ... 100th post. Lol. I'm a loser, yes, this I know.
BUT OMG. I haven't been here in a long time. It was Agent somethin' who brought me back. I was looking in my bulk mail and I saw her update and it took me to the SD-1 boards and then I was like "hey, let's check out AA.com" and I did. And here we are.
:: shakes head:: This is crazy.
DID YOU SEE CYRANO?! OMG! I WANT TO! ...well WANTED!
Did you see Juno? Lol, her part was funny. Everybody hated her but I loved her role. I loved Cloverfield too!!! I saw it. It was amazing. Mmk. I'll read this soon. Don't you worry.
Don't you worry.
S.
i love vaughny
Cadet
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE JUNO!
it's my favorite movie ever [that was made when i was alive].
cloverfield was good? i want to see it, i think.
it's my favorite movie ever [that was made when i was alive].
cloverfield was good? i want to see it, i think.
i love vaughny
Cadet
um, ya know, this site has been down for forever.
and i haven't written anything new.
and i haven't written anything new.
i love vaughny
Cadet
okay, here you go. because i'm feeling nice.
Chapter Sixteen
The next day Sydney pretty much spent all hours in her room. She mostly just packed up anything she would require when she was back at UCLA. Really, she needed a day to herself; time to think of what happened, time to process what this “break” would mean for her and Vaughn. He needed to work out how he was going to deal with everything thrown at him, and she empathized with him.
However, she was feeling inadequate as a friend to him: he couldn’t talk to her about these feelings of his until they had completely devoured him inside. She wondered if it was because he didn’t trust that she would understand, or because he didn’t want her to worry about him any more than she should. Faithfully, she wanted to believe that he was trying to spare her from having to feign pretentious courteousness. This wasn’t to say that if he had told her earlier that she wouldn’t care. To the contrary, she would, but, she thought, maybe, he would be embarrassed at having to strain their relationship over problems of his that he couldn’t control on his own. Whether or not it was an issue of pride she didn’t know. But she knew him, and was sure this whole ordeal was not the result of him not trusting her. Most likely, he didn’t want to add stress to her life, even if the cost was a heavier sack to carry for himself.
But she wanted him to know that she would have tried to help him through this rough patch, if she were given the proper chance.
Anyway, they were on a “break” now, and she still wasn’t exactly certain of the correct definition of the situation.
The day before her takeoff, which was two days after that fateful night with Vaughn, Sydney asked Francie to come over. Sydney didn’t tell Francie over the phone what happened. The good friend Francie was, she picked up that something was up when she arrived, though she was unsure of what.
In her room, while she lied on her bed, practically with her face stuffed in a pillow, Sydney explained everything.
Meanwhile, Francie had been sitting next to her in the computer chair which she had earlier wheeled nearer the bed. Sydney was at a loss for everything: words, feelings, thoughts, everything. All she did was just hide her face in the pillow.
“He’s an asshole,” Francie stated matter-of-factly when the anecdote was finished.
Sydney unburied herself and sat up straight with a tear-streaked face. “Don’t say that,” she defended. “Vaughn’s not an asshole,” she said. “He’s just trying to get his grades in order. He’s just trying to get through school,” she smiled faintly, then quickly bit her quivering lip to keep from letting those saline drops fall. “Call Noah an asshole if you want or any other guy I’ve gone out with before. Just not Vaughn, okay?”
Francie did not understand how Sydney could still guard someone who so obviously had broken her heart. Though, she had never been in love herself. Her thought process was still rational, something love was not. “Sydney, look at yourself,” she said a tad harshly, “you are not okay.”
“No,” Sydney agreed, “I’m not.” She grabbed the pillow and held it close to her. “You’re right, I’m not okay,” she affirmed once more, in a severe voice of her own. “I’m not, but I’m going to try to be and I don’t need you to be negative about all this because I need a best friend right now!” Her tone even surprised her; it was like her brain and nervous system were out of whack and incontrollable to her.
Francie realized that Sydney was a wreck and possibly couldn’t handle what had been chucked at her over the last few days. The main pole in her support system was gone, so now she was tilting, and would fall at any moment. Sydney was trying to hold onto whatever was in a reachable radius, in this case Francie, for all she had. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep herself from hitting the ground. Becoming conscious of these issues, Francie tried to comfort her, and took back that she thought Vaughn was an asshole.
It was the right thing to do, and the truth.
Weeks passed, and Sydney and Vaughn hardly spoke to each other. When they did, it was in an instant message, and awkward. Each had their own pain when it came to coping with this “break,” but the common link was that they found it was easier to not talk all the time, albeit it only hurt them in a new way.
Maybe the scary part was that Vaughn had been right with his decision. By temporarily cutting Sydney out of his life, he did have the apt time to concentrate on studying and working. Overall, he had more time to himself, and was less stressed out. He should have been happy. Conversely, with this newfound time, all he did was think about Sydney. What was she doing? Was she happy? How was she dealing?
He couldn’t ask her when they spoke, it was too strange. It was like because of his choice, he wasn’t supposed to be interested in her life anymore. But he was, perhaps more than ever. Conceivably, he was rarely completely by himself, but he was lonely, and he missed her.
Sydney’s main method of managing the mixed emotions was immersing herself into activities, whether they were structured clubs or just hanging out with some friends. A month and a week had gone by, and, more or less, to at least the untrained eye, on the surface, she was fine.
On a Friday night, she went bowling with a friend of hers, Jim, from one of her writing classes. His dad was friends with someone who ran the bowling alley and was given what seemed to be one hundred free-game coupons, which he handed over to his son. Jim, naturally, the broke college student he was, accepted the coupons without question, and invited Sydney to a game.
They played a total of three frames, and took a break in between for cheesy fries and sodas. The fries were disgustingly greasy, and positively delicious. Shockingly, the bowling alley was not as filled with smoke as one might have imagined, and both of them were thankful for that. About an hour into their play, it was time for laser bowling, which was fun because they played old ‘70s music, which made the alley very much like a disco. There was even a disco ball hanging from the ceiling which reflected specs of light onto the waxed lanes.
The bowling alley was within walking limits of their school, only a couple of blocks away, so they put their legs to use in both directions. They got back around eleven that night, and decided to sit in a sort of courtyard on a bench under a street lamp because the weather was very enjoyable.
The two of them were just talking about anything that came to their minds; from their classes to some people they saw at the bowling alley, both freaky and normal, to praising the fact that spring break was just over a week away. They agreed that college life in general was wearing them thin and they were counting down the days until May, when they had a few months off for the summer. Friendly smiles were eating their faces as they laughed about a stupid joke. Or, at least, Sydney thought they were friendly smiles up until the point where she knew Jim was about to kiss her. Her mind was racing. Technically, she was single, she supposed. She considered going through with it, but instead thought of her last first kiss, which was with Vaughn. Vaughn, the guy she was still in love with. After all, it had only been five weeks or so.
“I’m sorry,” she said, backing away. “It’s just…,” she trailed, and she didn’t know how to finish. Instead, she reached for the chain of her necklace, and pulled out the green butterfly pendant from under her shirt’s collar. She shrugged.
He comprehended instantly, and didn’t seem to mind. Jim was very laid-back, in typical Southern California fashion. “What’s his name?” he asked, in such an easy-going way it almost sounded as if he were asking for the name of a pet of hers, not her boyfriend.
She began to tell him about Vaughn, including, but not with much detail, that they were on a “break.” Jim told her about an old girlfriend he had back in high school. They were pretty serious, too, but they knew they couldn’t handle the long distance between their colleges. He commended Sydney and Vaughn on making it this far. He assured her that a “break” was not a break up, and if he learned anything about them from her stories, that they would get back together sooner or later.
Chapter Sixteen
The next day Sydney pretty much spent all hours in her room. She mostly just packed up anything she would require when she was back at UCLA. Really, she needed a day to herself; time to think of what happened, time to process what this “break” would mean for her and Vaughn. He needed to work out how he was going to deal with everything thrown at him, and she empathized with him.
However, she was feeling inadequate as a friend to him: he couldn’t talk to her about these feelings of his until they had completely devoured him inside. She wondered if it was because he didn’t trust that she would understand, or because he didn’t want her to worry about him any more than she should. Faithfully, she wanted to believe that he was trying to spare her from having to feign pretentious courteousness. This wasn’t to say that if he had told her earlier that she wouldn’t care. To the contrary, she would, but, she thought, maybe, he would be embarrassed at having to strain their relationship over problems of his that he couldn’t control on his own. Whether or not it was an issue of pride she didn’t know. But she knew him, and was sure this whole ordeal was not the result of him not trusting her. Most likely, he didn’t want to add stress to her life, even if the cost was a heavier sack to carry for himself.
But she wanted him to know that she would have tried to help him through this rough patch, if she were given the proper chance.
Anyway, they were on a “break” now, and she still wasn’t exactly certain of the correct definition of the situation.
The day before her takeoff, which was two days after that fateful night with Vaughn, Sydney asked Francie to come over. Sydney didn’t tell Francie over the phone what happened. The good friend Francie was, she picked up that something was up when she arrived, though she was unsure of what.
In her room, while she lied on her bed, practically with her face stuffed in a pillow, Sydney explained everything.
Meanwhile, Francie had been sitting next to her in the computer chair which she had earlier wheeled nearer the bed. Sydney was at a loss for everything: words, feelings, thoughts, everything. All she did was just hide her face in the pillow.
“He’s an asshole,” Francie stated matter-of-factly when the anecdote was finished.
Sydney unburied herself and sat up straight with a tear-streaked face. “Don’t say that,” she defended. “Vaughn’s not an asshole,” she said. “He’s just trying to get his grades in order. He’s just trying to get through school,” she smiled faintly, then quickly bit her quivering lip to keep from letting those saline drops fall. “Call Noah an asshole if you want or any other guy I’ve gone out with before. Just not Vaughn, okay?”
Francie did not understand how Sydney could still guard someone who so obviously had broken her heart. Though, she had never been in love herself. Her thought process was still rational, something love was not. “Sydney, look at yourself,” she said a tad harshly, “you are not okay.”
“No,” Sydney agreed, “I’m not.” She grabbed the pillow and held it close to her. “You’re right, I’m not okay,” she affirmed once more, in a severe voice of her own. “I’m not, but I’m going to try to be and I don’t need you to be negative about all this because I need a best friend right now!” Her tone even surprised her; it was like her brain and nervous system were out of whack and incontrollable to her.
Francie realized that Sydney was a wreck and possibly couldn’t handle what had been chucked at her over the last few days. The main pole in her support system was gone, so now she was tilting, and would fall at any moment. Sydney was trying to hold onto whatever was in a reachable radius, in this case Francie, for all she had. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep herself from hitting the ground. Becoming conscious of these issues, Francie tried to comfort her, and took back that she thought Vaughn was an asshole.
It was the right thing to do, and the truth.
Weeks passed, and Sydney and Vaughn hardly spoke to each other. When they did, it was in an instant message, and awkward. Each had their own pain when it came to coping with this “break,” but the common link was that they found it was easier to not talk all the time, albeit it only hurt them in a new way.
Maybe the scary part was that Vaughn had been right with his decision. By temporarily cutting Sydney out of his life, he did have the apt time to concentrate on studying and working. Overall, he had more time to himself, and was less stressed out. He should have been happy. Conversely, with this newfound time, all he did was think about Sydney. What was she doing? Was she happy? How was she dealing?
He couldn’t ask her when they spoke, it was too strange. It was like because of his choice, he wasn’t supposed to be interested in her life anymore. But he was, perhaps more than ever. Conceivably, he was rarely completely by himself, but he was lonely, and he missed her.
Sydney’s main method of managing the mixed emotions was immersing herself into activities, whether they were structured clubs or just hanging out with some friends. A month and a week had gone by, and, more or less, to at least the untrained eye, on the surface, she was fine.
On a Friday night, she went bowling with a friend of hers, Jim, from one of her writing classes. His dad was friends with someone who ran the bowling alley and was given what seemed to be one hundred free-game coupons, which he handed over to his son. Jim, naturally, the broke college student he was, accepted the coupons without question, and invited Sydney to a game.
They played a total of three frames, and took a break in between for cheesy fries and sodas. The fries were disgustingly greasy, and positively delicious. Shockingly, the bowling alley was not as filled with smoke as one might have imagined, and both of them were thankful for that. About an hour into their play, it was time for laser bowling, which was fun because they played old ‘70s music, which made the alley very much like a disco. There was even a disco ball hanging from the ceiling which reflected specs of light onto the waxed lanes.
The bowling alley was within walking limits of their school, only a couple of blocks away, so they put their legs to use in both directions. They got back around eleven that night, and decided to sit in a sort of courtyard on a bench under a street lamp because the weather was very enjoyable.
The two of them were just talking about anything that came to their minds; from their classes to some people they saw at the bowling alley, both freaky and normal, to praising the fact that spring break was just over a week away. They agreed that college life in general was wearing them thin and they were counting down the days until May, when they had a few months off for the summer. Friendly smiles were eating their faces as they laughed about a stupid joke. Or, at least, Sydney thought they were friendly smiles up until the point where she knew Jim was about to kiss her. Her mind was racing. Technically, she was single, she supposed. She considered going through with it, but instead thought of her last first kiss, which was with Vaughn. Vaughn, the guy she was still in love with. After all, it had only been five weeks or so.
“I’m sorry,” she said, backing away. “It’s just…,” she trailed, and she didn’t know how to finish. Instead, she reached for the chain of her necklace, and pulled out the green butterfly pendant from under her shirt’s collar. She shrugged.
He comprehended instantly, and didn’t seem to mind. Jim was very laid-back, in typical Southern California fashion. “What’s his name?” he asked, in such an easy-going way it almost sounded as if he were asking for the name of a pet of hers, not her boyfriend.
She began to tell him about Vaughn, including, but not with much detail, that they were on a “break.” Jim told her about an old girlfriend he had back in high school. They were pretty serious, too, but they knew they couldn’t handle the long distance between their colleges. He commended Sydney and Vaughn on making it this far. He assured her that a “break” was not a break up, and if he learned anything about them from her stories, that they would get back together sooner or later.
It's obvious that a total break isn't working. Vaughn ends up thinking about her constantly. Sydney now knows dating isn't the answer for her. They need to compromise. Maybe talk on the phone one night on the weekends, when they both know they'll be on a study break. Vaughn can't be studying 24/7.
Or if not that, set up meeting each other during spring break and go out once or twice. Just something to indicate to each other that 'break' doesn't mean breakup.
Chris
Or if not that, set up meeting each other during spring break and go out once or twice. Just something to indicate to each other that 'break' doesn't mean breakup.
Chris
