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the fair

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by vartansgrl, Mar 20, 2003.

  1. vartansgrl

    vartansgrl Rocket Ranger

    Feb 27, 2003
    North Bergen, NJ
    prolouge: syd nad vaughn is syd's car on their way from airport to ops center - syd's driving

    i am a terrible speller and i apologize for any mistakes. i am not sure how far santa monica peir is from LA, but in my story it's about an hour's drive!

    syd is driving through the streets of LA. vaughn is just staring at her. how beautiful she is. the radio's on - no specific song, just background music.
    "so do you have plans for tonight?" vaughn starts
    "no! what do you have in mind"
    " well i was thinking that we'd drive down to santa monica peir. i heard that the carnival is one of the best carnivals in the state and there is alos a really good seafood shack.
    "santa monica peir?"
    "yea why"
    " we are gonna drive an hour each way for a ferris wheel and a bucket of fried shrimp! you dont even like seafood!"
    " well i have grown acostumed to the taste of seafood, and it's a really big ferris wheel."
    "O my god! your i dunno"
    "what is so wrong with wanting to spend time with my girlfriend at a peir, on a ferris wheel, with a bucket of fried shrimp?
    "nothing - it's just well you amaze me!"
    "syd what's so amazing about that. we have been working non-stop for weeks - no since we've met, a couple hours of fun is the least we deserve!"
    "yea, but it's so far and what if new information comes up or any new leads on sloane or my mother - an hour is far and if we both have to explain where we've been and why we were together - are you ready for that?"
    "for what?"
    "with who?"
    "what do you mean with who - the cia, kendall, my father must i really go on?"
    " syd they're not dumb - they all kinda know what's goin on between us."
    "what since when"
    "since before we've been us - it was kinda obvious"
    "i didnt know that they knew"
    '' your dad suspected it a long time ago, he knew the way we felt about each other before we realized it, kendall recognized the tention between us, and well the cia - they know everything about their agents - dont forget that agent who was investigating me"
    "if you dont wnat to go we dont have to go - we can do something else"
  2. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    from da hood
    oOoOo confrontation
  3. Kristina

    Kristina Rocket Ranger

    Feb 28, 2003
    It's good so far, keep going. :D
  4. Aliasfan23

    Aliasfan23 Rocket Ranger

    Mar 4, 2003
    yea this is good
  5. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    It has potential.
  6. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    East Coast
    Hmmm.... interesting. You can solve the spelling problem with spell check ya know. And when you're having the convo, you might want to say who's saying what at some points, otherwise it sometimes gets hard to read.
  7. berry_kyoote_spy88

    berry_kyoote_spy88 Rocket Ranger

    Jun 19, 2003
    that was a good beginning i hope they go i wanna see how it turns out cant wait please post more :P
  8. Alias Fan Gillian

    Alias Fan Gillian Rocket Ranger

    Jun 21, 2003
    This is a good start. Please post more soon.

    Can you pm me when you post the next bit.
  9. *SPYnish*

    *SPYnish* Rocket Ranger

    Mar 16, 2003
    It´s Interesting and Very Good (y)
  10. krzykty57789

    krzykty57789 Rocket Ranger

    May 7, 2003
    good so far could i get a pm,too

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