~The First Time~
It was late into the night, not many people occupied the old-styled building. The lights gave everything a warm tint. She watched a couple in the corner snuggle into the deep leather chairs, waiting for their train to arrive at the station.
Thinking about the situation she was in 36 hours ago made her finally realize that it was time for her to stop taking her life for granted. After all the loss she had suffered, after all the pain she had endured, she realized not once had she ever told Vaughn how much he meant to her, and how grateful she truly was for having him in her life. He filled the void in her heart that had been ripped open when she had lost Danny.
She never really knew if she actually loved Danny, or if she just thought she did. Because what she felt for Vaughn couldn’t be compared to anything she ever felt for anyone. It was beyond words, beyond reason, but it was there, it always had been and always would be.
When she watched Marshall talk to Carrie on the phone in Berlin, she finally saw how much her and Vaughn were neglecting their relationship. Of course, they had silly banter, of course they fought and made up, but they never admitted what they knew in their hearts, atleast not to each other.
She was so engrossed with her own thoughts that she didn’t sense him until he was standing in front of her. She turned her head slowly and looked up at him. He was standing there in his day old suit smiling a smile that would make any girl melt, and looking at her with such intensity it couldn’t be broken, even by a brick wall.
He slowly extended his hand out to her, and it was her turn to smile. She set her hand in his and he pulled her up gently. He twirled her around once, scanning her figure as she was turned away from him, grateful that he was even able to hold her hand again, or see her smile.
Once she was facing him, he took her right hand in his left and put his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. She just smiled, unable to believe that they were actually dancing in the middle of the train station. Three years ago they would have been killed for it. She hadn’t remembered a time when she smiled so much in the last year, ever since she’d come back.
After a moment, she let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight as they swayed to the soft background music that was playing over the speakers in the ceiling. She closed her eyes as she felt him bury his face in the side of her neck, kissing the skin under his lips softly as he whispered.
“Sorry, I couldn’t find a pair of heels to come in.” He said against her skin.
She smiled and giggled softly as she brought her head off his shoulder to look at him; their faces inches apart. She just smiled, there’s nothing she could say, nothing she needed to say.
She rested the side of her head against his again and played with the hair on the nape of his neck. She might have been touching the floor, but she felt like she was floating with him. He started to hum softly in her ear, and she thought to herself, that she never heard anything more soothing.
“You once said…” He began. “That you came here to watch normal people go to their normal jobs.” He pulled away slightly so he could look at her. He shook his head. “I’m glad we’re not normal.” He told her. “Because if we were, we wouldn’t have moments like these.”
She just stared at him as he rested his right palm on the side of her face.
“I thought I was going to lose you again.” His smile had now diminished and seriousness took over. “I was scared.”
“So was I.” She told him.
He shook his head. “The night…that you went missing.” He said. He looked down. “When they told me….the first thing I felt was guilt. The second was regret.”
“Vaughn.” She placed her hands on his chest, thinking he was going to start blaming himself for the incident.
He looked up at her. “I never got to tell you.” he said.
“What?” She asked.
His eyes became slightly glossy as he stared at her. She felt his heart pound harder under her right hand. A stranger walking by wouldn’t have heard what he said. He spoke so softly, but with so much attention.
“I love you.”
And time stopped, so did her heart, so did everything.
Their dancing halted, and they just stood there staring into each other. Sydney was frozen, her eyes immediately reacting to her emotions and creating tears. He immediately tried to push them away but she stopped him by grabbing his hands.
“Don’t.” She told him softly. He dropped his hands to his sides as she smiled softly. “I’m happy.”
He looked relieved, as if he thought she didn’t want to hear it. Her hands slipped down his chest between them and she took his hands.
This was it, it was perfect, if there would ever be a right time, it was this moment they shared. After four years of guarding her heart, she finally let the words slip out of her mouth, words that she hadn’t said in four years.
“I love you.” She told him back. She watched a single tear fall out of the corner of his eye, yet he didn’t notice. She watched it burn a track down the side of his face and she stopped it by leaning forward and pressing her lips to his cheek. She pulled away slightly and licked the salty liquid off her lips as she looked up at him once again.
“Was it worth waiting three years to hear?” He asked.
She nodded softly. “Yeah, it was.”
“Was it worth waiting three years to say?” She asked him in return.
He smiled softly. “It was hard, but yes. Atleast I can say it everyday now, every time I see you, every time we have moments like these.”
“I’m never going to get tired of hearing it, not tomorrow, or thirty years from now.”
They both realized what she had said, what faith she held within her telling her that they’d be together for the rest of their lives and beyond.
“Come home with me.” She told him. It wasn’t even a question.
“What about Nadia?” he asked.
Sydney smiled. “She’s staying at Weiss’ tonight.” She told him. “We’ve got the place to ourselves, just us.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
She smiled and put her left arm around his waist as they started to walk towards the escalators to go down to the main level.
“You’re a good dancer by the way.” She told him.
He smiled. “Slow dancing is fine. Up beat club dancing? I’m afraid if you saw me you’d get rid of me.” He laughed.
“Never.” She said as she hugged him from the side. “I love you too much.” She smiled a hundred watt smile. “Gosh it feels amazing to say that.”
He looked at her. “Yeah?” He asked. They stepped off the escalator and headed towards the doors leading outside.
“Amazing doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
He smiled slyly as they walked out the doors of the train station; people walking past them every which way.
“I’ll have to give it another try.” He said. He stopped and looked up towards the sky.
“I….love….Sydney….Bristow!!!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Sydney laughed and blushed, but didn’t try to pull away or cover her face. She wasn’t ashamed to love him, and she wasn’t ashamed to be loved by him.
“Very subtle.” She said as she replaced her arm around his waist, sliding her hand up the back of his suit jacket and massaging the muscles beneath his stripped dress shirt.
“I haven’t felt like this since we first started dating.” He told her. “I feel like it’s back.”
“What’s back?” She asked. He pulled her closer and planted a kiss on the side of her head.
“Us…the old us. The us that used to do crazy things, like make-out in the parking garage, and play footsie under the tables during debriefs.”
“Or coming in late for work because someone couldn’t his hands to himself.” She teased.
“That’s funny, I don’t remember you complaining at all.” He said. She giggled into his neck as they neared her car.
“Where are you parked?” She asked.
“Down at the end.” He told her.
“Why don’t we just leave it here. We’ll ride in together tomorrow.” She told him.
He smiled. “That sounds good to me.”
She took her arm out from under his jacket and dug in her pocket for her keys. She unlocked the doors and they both slid into her car. She immediately started up the engine and turned on the lights. She turned to him briefly and smiled again.
He laughed. “I haven’t seen you this happy since you first got to see the zamboni three years ago.”
She held back a laugh. “You ever stop to think I was smiling for another reason besides the zamboni?” She asked as she put the car into reverse and backed up out of the parking spot. She pressed the brake and shifted gears.
“I know, compared to me the zamboni was a close second. I remember.” He said looking out the window as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street.
“Actually, I lied…” She said.
“What? I was a close second?” He laughed.
“No, the zamboni never came close.” She told him. He smiled and reached over to her right hand, which rested on her thigh. He took it in his own and entwined their fingers together as she drove them back to her place. The rest of the ride was rather silent, but comfortable, nothing needed to be said, they were both content.
Sydney pulled into the driveway, both of them instantly looked two houses down to see Eric and Nadia had already gotten home, and the house was dark.
Sydney smiled as they sat there in the car for another moment.
“You know, I’ve never seen Weiss so happy. I just hope Nadia doesn’t break his heart.” Syd said.
Vaughn looked over at her; slightly surprised she doubted her sister. “Syd, she’s your sister, have some faith in her.”
“I know.” She said looking down. “It’s just…”
“Sloane.” He finished for her. She looked up at him.
“I don’t trust him.”
“Sydney, no one’s ever going to criticize you for not trusting him. That man deserves nothing from you. But you can’t use Sloane as an excuse to not trust Nadia.”
“I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.” She told him. “I feel like I’m just waiting for her to betray me. Her parents are the scum of the earth. It’s bad enough her father is Sloane, but then finding out that we share the same mother?” She shook her head.
“Your father’s not the best man either, look at all you’ve been through, look at who you are. Sydney, you’re life is a living hell, your family…” He stopped and sighed. “..has it’s problems. But you, you’re not like them at all.” He told her. “You’re an amazing woman, and you always do the right thing. Give Nadia a chance.”
She took the keys out of the ignition and let go of his hand as they both exited the car. He watched her as she locked it up and waited on the other side for him. He slowly walked around to her and put his arm around her shoulders as they walked up the stairs to her front door. She quickly opened it up and flipped on the lights. Turning to the table near the door, she set her keys and her purse down and turned back around to look at him. As soon as she did his lips were on hers.
“Well, that didn’t take long.” She said as they pulled away for a moment.
He smiled and reached back to lock the front door. “Well the back seat of your car was looking good for awhile.” He said as he pushed her coat off her shoulders, he helped her get it off and then threw it in the corner on the floor as he kissed her neck softly.
“That’s an expensive coat.” She said closing her eyes.
“You want me to stop and pick it up?” he asked against her skin. He pulled back slightly and kissed her forehead.
“No.” She told him. She slid her hands under his suit jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. He slipped off his shoes and she bent down to unzip her the side of her high-heeled boots. She finally got them off and he took her hand, leading her down the stairs and through the living room, straight to the bedroom. He kicked the door shut with his foot and brought her into his arms again as she started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt.
“We should go to Santa Barbara this weekend.” He told her. She looked up into his eyes.
“What?” She asked surprised.
He smiled. “Well, we deserve a vacation, especially you.”
“You’re serious?” She asked.
He nodded and finished the rest of the buttons for her, taking off his shirt he threw it on the chair behind them and looked back at her. “Just a vacation. No proposals, I know we’re taking things slow, sort of.” He laughed given their situation. “Unless of course you want one.” He said jokingly. He kissed her again and snuck his hands under the back of her shirt.
She shivered slightly as his cold hands ran up her back.
“Sorry.” He whispered. He pulled at the bottom of her shirt and brought it up over her head, discarding it on the floor.
She was frozen as she rested her hands on his chest, thinking about what exactly he’d just said. Thinking about how she would have been married at the moment if it weren’t for the Covenant taking her away from her life three years before.
She ran her hand through his hair softly as he placed a kiss on her shoulder.
“I’d say yes.” She said out of nowhere. He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.
“What?” He asked.
She looked up at him, her arms still around his neck. “If you asked me.” She told him. “I’d say yes.”
He was silent for a moment. A smile started to appear on his face as he looked at her. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He told her. As he was about to move in again she stopped him.
“One more thing.” She told him.
He let out an inward laugh. “What?” He asked.
“I love you.” She said smiling.
He smiled. “I love you too.”
It was late into the night, not many people occupied the old-styled building. The lights gave everything a warm tint. She watched a couple in the corner snuggle into the deep leather chairs, waiting for their train to arrive at the station.
Thinking about the situation she was in 36 hours ago made her finally realize that it was time for her to stop taking her life for granted. After all the loss she had suffered, after all the pain she had endured, she realized not once had she ever told Vaughn how much he meant to her, and how grateful she truly was for having him in her life. He filled the void in her heart that had been ripped open when she had lost Danny.
She never really knew if she actually loved Danny, or if she just thought she did. Because what she felt for Vaughn couldn’t be compared to anything she ever felt for anyone. It was beyond words, beyond reason, but it was there, it always had been and always would be.
When she watched Marshall talk to Carrie on the phone in Berlin, she finally saw how much her and Vaughn were neglecting their relationship. Of course, they had silly banter, of course they fought and made up, but they never admitted what they knew in their hearts, atleast not to each other.
She was so engrossed with her own thoughts that she didn’t sense him until he was standing in front of her. She turned her head slowly and looked up at him. He was standing there in his day old suit smiling a smile that would make any girl melt, and looking at her with such intensity it couldn’t be broken, even by a brick wall.
He slowly extended his hand out to her, and it was her turn to smile. She set her hand in his and he pulled her up gently. He twirled her around once, scanning her figure as she was turned away from him, grateful that he was even able to hold her hand again, or see her smile.
Once she was facing him, he took her right hand in his left and put his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. She just smiled, unable to believe that they were actually dancing in the middle of the train station. Three years ago they would have been killed for it. She hadn’t remembered a time when she smiled so much in the last year, ever since she’d come back.
After a moment, she let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight as they swayed to the soft background music that was playing over the speakers in the ceiling. She closed her eyes as she felt him bury his face in the side of her neck, kissing the skin under his lips softly as he whispered.
“Sorry, I couldn’t find a pair of heels to come in.” He said against her skin.
She smiled and giggled softly as she brought her head off his shoulder to look at him; their faces inches apart. She just smiled, there’s nothing she could say, nothing she needed to say.
She rested the side of her head against his again and played with the hair on the nape of his neck. She might have been touching the floor, but she felt like she was floating with him. He started to hum softly in her ear, and she thought to herself, that she never heard anything more soothing.
“You once said…” He began. “That you came here to watch normal people go to their normal jobs.” He pulled away slightly so he could look at her. He shook his head. “I’m glad we’re not normal.” He told her. “Because if we were, we wouldn’t have moments like these.”
She just stared at him as he rested his right palm on the side of her face.
“I thought I was going to lose you again.” His smile had now diminished and seriousness took over. “I was scared.”
“So was I.” She told him.
He shook his head. “The night…that you went missing.” He said. He looked down. “When they told me….the first thing I felt was guilt. The second was regret.”
“Vaughn.” She placed her hands on his chest, thinking he was going to start blaming himself for the incident.
He looked up at her. “I never got to tell you.” he said.
“What?” She asked.
His eyes became slightly glossy as he stared at her. She felt his heart pound harder under her right hand. A stranger walking by wouldn’t have heard what he said. He spoke so softly, but with so much attention.
“I love you.”
And time stopped, so did her heart, so did everything.
Their dancing halted, and they just stood there staring into each other. Sydney was frozen, her eyes immediately reacting to her emotions and creating tears. He immediately tried to push them away but she stopped him by grabbing his hands.
“Don’t.” She told him softly. He dropped his hands to his sides as she smiled softly. “I’m happy.”
He looked relieved, as if he thought she didn’t want to hear it. Her hands slipped down his chest between them and she took his hands.
This was it, it was perfect, if there would ever be a right time, it was this moment they shared. After four years of guarding her heart, she finally let the words slip out of her mouth, words that she hadn’t said in four years.
“I love you.” She told him back. She watched a single tear fall out of the corner of his eye, yet he didn’t notice. She watched it burn a track down the side of his face and she stopped it by leaning forward and pressing her lips to his cheek. She pulled away slightly and licked the salty liquid off her lips as she looked up at him once again.
“Was it worth waiting three years to hear?” He asked.
She nodded softly. “Yeah, it was.”
“Was it worth waiting three years to say?” She asked him in return.
He smiled softly. “It was hard, but yes. Atleast I can say it everyday now, every time I see you, every time we have moments like these.”
“I’m never going to get tired of hearing it, not tomorrow, or thirty years from now.”
They both realized what she had said, what faith she held within her telling her that they’d be together for the rest of their lives and beyond.
“Come home with me.” She told him. It wasn’t even a question.
“What about Nadia?” he asked.
Sydney smiled. “She’s staying at Weiss’ tonight.” She told him. “We’ve got the place to ourselves, just us.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
She smiled and put her left arm around his waist as they started to walk towards the escalators to go down to the main level.
“You’re a good dancer by the way.” She told him.
He smiled. “Slow dancing is fine. Up beat club dancing? I’m afraid if you saw me you’d get rid of me.” He laughed.
“Never.” She said as she hugged him from the side. “I love you too much.” She smiled a hundred watt smile. “Gosh it feels amazing to say that.”
He looked at her. “Yeah?” He asked. They stepped off the escalator and headed towards the doors leading outside.
“Amazing doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
He smiled slyly as they walked out the doors of the train station; people walking past them every which way.
“I’ll have to give it another try.” He said. He stopped and looked up towards the sky.
“I….love….Sydney….Bristow!!!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Sydney laughed and blushed, but didn’t try to pull away or cover her face. She wasn’t ashamed to love him, and she wasn’t ashamed to be loved by him.
“Very subtle.” She said as she replaced her arm around his waist, sliding her hand up the back of his suit jacket and massaging the muscles beneath his stripped dress shirt.
“I haven’t felt like this since we first started dating.” He told her. “I feel like it’s back.”
“What’s back?” She asked. He pulled her closer and planted a kiss on the side of her head.
“Us…the old us. The us that used to do crazy things, like make-out in the parking garage, and play footsie under the tables during debriefs.”
“Or coming in late for work because someone couldn’t his hands to himself.” She teased.
“That’s funny, I don’t remember you complaining at all.” He said. She giggled into his neck as they neared her car.
“Where are you parked?” She asked.
“Down at the end.” He told her.
“Why don’t we just leave it here. We’ll ride in together tomorrow.” She told him.
He smiled. “That sounds good to me.”
She took her arm out from under his jacket and dug in her pocket for her keys. She unlocked the doors and they both slid into her car. She immediately started up the engine and turned on the lights. She turned to him briefly and smiled again.
He laughed. “I haven’t seen you this happy since you first got to see the zamboni three years ago.”
She held back a laugh. “You ever stop to think I was smiling for another reason besides the zamboni?” She asked as she put the car into reverse and backed up out of the parking spot. She pressed the brake and shifted gears.
“I know, compared to me the zamboni was a close second. I remember.” He said looking out the window as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street.
“Actually, I lied…” She said.
“What? I was a close second?” He laughed.
“No, the zamboni never came close.” She told him. He smiled and reached over to her right hand, which rested on her thigh. He took it in his own and entwined their fingers together as she drove them back to her place. The rest of the ride was rather silent, but comfortable, nothing needed to be said, they were both content.
Sydney pulled into the driveway, both of them instantly looked two houses down to see Eric and Nadia had already gotten home, and the house was dark.
Sydney smiled as they sat there in the car for another moment.
“You know, I’ve never seen Weiss so happy. I just hope Nadia doesn’t break his heart.” Syd said.
Vaughn looked over at her; slightly surprised she doubted her sister. “Syd, she’s your sister, have some faith in her.”
“I know.” She said looking down. “It’s just…”
“Sloane.” He finished for her. She looked up at him.
“I don’t trust him.”
“Sydney, no one’s ever going to criticize you for not trusting him. That man deserves nothing from you. But you can’t use Sloane as an excuse to not trust Nadia.”
“I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.” She told him. “I feel like I’m just waiting for her to betray me. Her parents are the scum of the earth. It’s bad enough her father is Sloane, but then finding out that we share the same mother?” She shook her head.
“Your father’s not the best man either, look at all you’ve been through, look at who you are. Sydney, you’re life is a living hell, your family…” He stopped and sighed. “..has it’s problems. But you, you’re not like them at all.” He told her. “You’re an amazing woman, and you always do the right thing. Give Nadia a chance.”
She took the keys out of the ignition and let go of his hand as they both exited the car. He watched her as she locked it up and waited on the other side for him. He slowly walked around to her and put his arm around her shoulders as they walked up the stairs to her front door. She quickly opened it up and flipped on the lights. Turning to the table near the door, she set her keys and her purse down and turned back around to look at him. As soon as she did his lips were on hers.
“Well, that didn’t take long.” She said as they pulled away for a moment.
He smiled and reached back to lock the front door. “Well the back seat of your car was looking good for awhile.” He said as he pushed her coat off her shoulders, he helped her get it off and then threw it in the corner on the floor as he kissed her neck softly.
“That’s an expensive coat.” She said closing her eyes.
“You want me to stop and pick it up?” he asked against her skin. He pulled back slightly and kissed her forehead.
“No.” She told him. She slid her hands under his suit jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. He slipped off his shoes and she bent down to unzip her the side of her high-heeled boots. She finally got them off and he took her hand, leading her down the stairs and through the living room, straight to the bedroom. He kicked the door shut with his foot and brought her into his arms again as she started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt.
“We should go to Santa Barbara this weekend.” He told her. She looked up into his eyes.
“What?” She asked surprised.
He smiled. “Well, we deserve a vacation, especially you.”
“You’re serious?” She asked.
He nodded and finished the rest of the buttons for her, taking off his shirt he threw it on the chair behind them and looked back at her. “Just a vacation. No proposals, I know we’re taking things slow, sort of.” He laughed given their situation. “Unless of course you want one.” He said jokingly. He kissed her again and snuck his hands under the back of her shirt.
She shivered slightly as his cold hands ran up her back.
“Sorry.” He whispered. He pulled at the bottom of her shirt and brought it up over her head, discarding it on the floor.
She was frozen as she rested her hands on his chest, thinking about what exactly he’d just said. Thinking about how she would have been married at the moment if it weren’t for the Covenant taking her away from her life three years before.
She ran her hand through his hair softly as he placed a kiss on her shoulder.
“I’d say yes.” She said out of nowhere. He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.
“What?” He asked.
She looked up at him, her arms still around his neck. “If you asked me.” She told him. “I’d say yes.”
He was silent for a moment. A smile started to appear on his face as he looked at her. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He told her. As he was about to move in again she stopped him.
“One more thing.” She told him.
He let out an inward laugh. “What?” He asked.
“I love you.” She said smiling.
He smiled. “I love you too.”
