The Hardest Thing

hey when yea gonna do more?! i need your story now!!! i cant keep waiting!! ok ill stop beggin but i hope you do more soon!! :woot:
 
I'm sorry this part is so short...Forgive me....here is it:


Part Six


The words sting so much that he almost flinches. They both weren’t expecting that reaction from her. All her emotions are jumbled to a point where she can’t even think straight.

“ You . . . hypocrite . . .” she continues.

“ You . . .liar . . .” Never in a million years did she ever think she would say those words to him. Even on that awful day at the warehouse, she never called him any names. It was just numbness that took over.

“ Do you know what you put me through?” her voice raises in anger. “ Do you know how low I had sunken?” her shoulders rise and fall with every difficult breath. “ Do you know how many times I thought I was going insane?” Her fingernails dig into the palm of her hand as her fist clenches harder. Her voice cracks as she sees images of her pitiful self these past few months.

“ Do you?” she cries out and unconsciously takes a step closer to his bed. He remains silent. With every word that comes out of her mouth, he feels a wave of nausea. But strangely he wants her to continue even if it is painful. He wishes that every word were in fact a knife, so he could be shredded into pieces. It’s what he deserves. He never wanted her to hurt her like he did.

“ I felt like I lost everything. EVERYTHING.” Her eyes well up with tears. With all her will, she holds them in. She will not let them fall as she takes another step.

He keeps his head turned away from her and keeps silent. He senses her getting closer and closer.

“No one hurt me like you did,” she stops to let her words sink in and then she adds on sadly, “ on purpose.” The room starts to spin again. To steady herself, her hand grabs on to the edge of the bed.

“ I thought the Michael Vaughn I knew…had died.” Her voice suddenly turns into a whisper. “In my heart, you were . . . . . .dead.” Though barely audible, the word rings loudly in his ears piercing right through to his heart. Death has become so real to him now.

As the last word leaves her mouth, he releases his firm grip on the blanket to reach out for her hand, but his body fails him.

Through her blurred vision, she sees his body sink down in slow motion. For the first time, she is aware of his condition. Even though she heard him and Weiss talk, she never fully registered the possibility that something was wrong with him. She sees the color on his face turn pale and she gasps. He is unresponsive when she cries out his name. When she grabs for his hands, they are cold as ice. Panic sets in. Her heart pounds against her chest and even the air in her lungs feels as if it is suffocating her. As fast as her legs could carry her, she runs out of the room in search of help. All the while, her mind keeps saying one thing, “ This is what he was protecting you from . . . ”
 
yay the next chapter is up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is happening 2 vaughn!! i dont think i can wait until ur next post!!!
 
*cries* I don't think I should I have read this again......
Oh, what am I saying, of course I had to read this again, it's just too good.

But it's sad. Sad sad sad with sad on the top and sadness for dessert. :P

Can't wait for the next chapter. (and yes, i'm reviewing. There are no spoilery titles at the fan fiction section! :D :D I think it's safer than SD-6...)
 
Last Part


Sydney Bristow sits in the shadow of a corner and stares into space. How can anyone go through so many feelings in such a short span of time? This morning, she had felt that something was off. Something was going to happen. There was a reason that she came to this room…the one that he would be in.


I know that we’ll meet again

Fate has a place and time



She’s all cried out. She thinks back to that day. Every second is etched in her memory forever. His hurtful words. How he kept distancing himself from her. That wasn’t him. It wasn’t him at all. If only she had been more observant…she would have seen it. Through the false words, she could have seen his struggle. The way he wouldn’t look at her. The empty and helpless expressions on his face. The way he let her explode into his arms. The crack in his voice when she dared him to tell her he didn’t love her. The whole time he had been pretending. How could she have missed it?

Her eyes search the room and see the wilting flowers from the last time she was here. She tilts her head and notices that the vase is only half filled. She had never finished putting all the flowers in. His groaning and soft pleading had made her body freeze that day, and she never returned to room 470 until today. She swallows a lump in her throat as she imagined hearing his apologies from that morning. He was talking to her. Unconsciously, he wanted to explain everything. But how could she have known? Sydney covers her face with her hands and lets out a regretful sigh. She feels her puffy eyelids throbbing against her fingertips.


Like Dr.Zhivago

All my love I’ll be sending

And you will never know



The murmuring in her head slowly becomes louder. His voice seems to shift from echoes in the far distance into clearer groans coming from inside the room. Her eyes flutter open as she realizes that the sounds are actually real. They are coming from the opposite corner. After hours of agonizingly waiting, he is finally waking up. By slightly lifting the arms of the chair, she inches towards his bed. Quietly, she settles the chair down while keeping her eyes fixed on him the whole time. She sees his face change from one of peaceful sleep to one of anxiety as he regains consciousness. She’s seen that familiar worried face of concern numerous times before.

As Vaughn slowly opens his eyes, they are greeted with a blurred image of his angel. He blinks a couple of times to make sure he’s not dreaming. She is still there. Whenever he dreams of her, she is always smiling back at him. But this time, her face is sad. That rationalization tells him that this HAS to be real. After a long hesitation, he gets enough energy to ask…

“ Do you hate me?”

She does not respond right away. With a sigh, she looks down at her fingers.

“ Syd . . . ” he calls out softly asking her to say something.

“ You scared me,” she whispers back equally as soft. “ Again . . .”

“ I’m sorry.” They both look down at her trembling hands.

“ I thought I lost you for real. And this time it was my fault,” she admits sadly.

“ What?! No,” he is quick to tell her otherwise.

“ If I hadn’t gotten you all worked up, you wouldn’t . . .”

He shakes his head fervently. “No. Don’t say that. You didn’t do anything. This . . .” He points around the hospital room. “ All this . . .” He hits the side of the bed in frustration. “ It wasn’t in anyone’s control.”

“ When did you find out?”

“ Two days before we raided . . .” He stops to think of the irony.

“ SD-6?” she finishes for him, and bites her bottom lip. “ That’s why you acted the way you did . . . ” She lifts her head to look at him. She wants to see and hear the truth from him.

There is no use in denying the truth anymore. “ I wanted . . .”

“ To push me away?”

“ I didn’t think . . .”

“That I could handle it?” defensiveness in her tone. Even now, she can’t help but interrupt him.

“ No. I knew you could. I just didn’t think you should have to…” His words touch right through to her heart. Thank goodness she is already sitting because she feels her legs go weak.

“ You always do that. You know?”

His eyebrows furrow to show that he doesn’t know.

“ You always try to make things easier for me. What about you?”

“ What about me . . .” He has clearly never thought about himself in this whole ordeal. She has been and always will be top priority. These months have been hard, but what got him through was hoping that she’d move on.


So you can get on with your life

I’ve got to be cruel to be kind



“ What did YOU want?”

What about him? What did he want? He didn’t know what he wanted, but he knew what he didn’t want.

“ I didn’t want you to have to watch another person slowly slip away to nothing,” he looks at her helplessly.

“ So you thought you would just shatter everything I ever knew about him in one meeting?” She raises her voice.

“ It is better than seeing you come to this place everyday with hope and then leaving alone with frustration.”

“ That won’t happen,” she states confidently.

“ Even you, the strongest woman I know, will slowly be dragged down until you can’t take it . . . ” he stops to regain some composure.

“ Now that I know, I am going to stay.” She sits up straight in her chair.

“ Do you know how hard it is to worry about when it’ll be the last day?”

“ You underestimate me,” she sits up straight in her chair.

“ Syd . . . listen . . .” he sighs.

“ No! You listen…all those times that I went off on dangerous missions, you never knew for sure if I would come back. You didn’t know when it would be that last time either. But never once did you give up and think that I wouldn’t make it.”

“ I . . .”

“ No! Listen. All those times that I wanted to break down, you were there. You were my guardian angel. You were the one that gave me strength. You were the one I needed. You think you’re the only one that can do those things?”

Vaughn’s inside start churning as he lets her ramble on.

“Why can’t I be those things for you?” she asks plain and simple.

“ I think visiting hours are over. The nurses will make you go home…”

“ Then I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after that…” She crosses her arms and sits back in her chair as if saying she is here to stay until he agrees to let her back in his life.

He lets out a huge sigh. “ I don’t have the energy to fight with you about this…”

“ Then just . . . surrender,” He looks into her eyes. They are so much stronger than his own. So strong that he sees himself giving in. “ Just . . . surrender” She says it so softly, it has a calming and hypnotic effect…


* * * * * * * * * * *


Vaughn slowly wakes up, and he becomes aware of a heavy weight pressed against his right side. His eyes flutter open and he looks down to find her head resting against his right hand and lower arm.

Sometime during the night, she had moved her chair close against the edge of the bed. When she noticed his hand twitching slightly, it was only natural to reach out her own to cover his. After watching him sleep for sometime, she began to ease into a calmer state as well. She let her head droop down and land lightly against his side. She thought she would only close her eyes for just a second. But it was not long before a beautiful peaceful sleep completely took over.

He feels her soft rhythmic breathing against his palm, which tickle him slightly. He fights the urge to move his fingers for he doesn’t want to wake her. His heart warms as he realizes that she has stayed this whole time. Even though he doesn’t want her to sacrifice anything for him, he can’t help but feel happy to have this amazing woman care for him even after all that has happened. He thinks about everything she said about letting her be there for him like all the times he had been there for her. Is it so difficult? They were both miserable for the last seven months. Can anything be worse than what they felt during that time? He honestly doesn’t know.

He sighs again as he brings his free arm over to touch her hair. He feels the soft strands through his fingers, and a wave of longing washes through him. To suppress the feeling, he quickly retracts his hand from her hair, and then immediately curses himself as he sees her begin to stir from her sleep.

Sydney opens her eyes to find she is staring right at the lines on his hands. She senses his wakeful eyes watching her and opens her mouth.

Quietly she whispers, “ You surrender?”

After a long silence, he whispers back, “ I don’t know.”

She shifts her head over a little off of his hand and draws her arm up. As she traces the lines on his hands with her finger, she says, “ Remember that night on the pier when I grabbed your hand for the first time?”

“ mmm hmm,” he answers back.

“ Remember what you said before that?”

“ Some of it . . .” he tries to think back on that night.

“ I remember everything. You told me that I can’t let darkness take over and that when I’m at my absolute lowest, most depressed…that I could always call you. That works both ways you know.” She lets go of his hand and lifts her body up to search for his face.

“ Let me be here for you?” she pleads with her desperate eyes. His mouth becomes painfully dry as he senses his resolve on keeping her away quickly diminishing to nonexistence.

In a hoarse voice he finally gives in, “ Okay . . .”

Her eyes widen and her mouth slowly forms a smile. She moves from her chair and sits on the bed to get closer to him.

She grabs one of his hands and rubs the back with her thumb. “ We’ll get through this,” she assures him.

He squeezes her hand tighter and says, “ Syd . . . but if I don’t . . .”

She doesn’t let him finish. Her hand instantaneously goes up to cover his mouth silencing his worry. “ Don’t say it . . . Life isn’t that cruel.”

He blinks a couple of times to show her his understanding. He takes her hovering hand in his and presses his lips into her palm. With his other hand, he reaches for the side of her dress and tugs gently drawing her closer. He notices that it’s the same blue dress that she wore that day at the warehouse and stops his movements. Just as she is about to let herself be pulled into him, she sees his sudden hesitation. They both stare down at her dress. Her breathing quickens as she thinks that the memory is too painful for him.

After being still for what seems like minutes, he begins to move his hand up and down the fabric of the dress. He swallows down the lump in his throat and says, “ That day . . .” As she is about to pull back, he holds on. “ . . . did you wear this for me?”

Her breath catches as she does a double take on what he said. She is completely surprised that she can’t form any words. All she does is nod her head slowly. Yes. It was for him. No more professionalism between them. Up and down she nods her head as she resumes breathing again.

He lets go of her dress and brings his hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His hand then travels along her jawline to caress her face. As his thumb traces her defined cheekbone, he whispers, “ I love it . . . thanks.”

As if someone suddenly has opened the window to let light in once again, a whole new set of emotions set in. She feels her eyes water up again. But this time, they are not tears of sadness. They are ones of hope and joy. He looks into her eyes as she lowers her head just inches from his face. She rests her forehead against his and squeezes her eyes shut. At the same time that her lips make contact with his own, he feels two tears lightly fall from her lashes down onto his face. He has never felt more alive. The tears are like a cleansing. From her, he will find his strength. For her, he will not let darkness take over.



The End



A/N: Thank you to everyone who read this and responded. Your comments mean a lot. I know many, if not all of you, want to know what Vaughn had that resulted him to be sick. Please accept my apology that I am not able to come up with a logical illness. I tried really hard, but have come to realize that it isn’t WHAT he has that is essential to the story but rather that he believes has something and he didn’t want to be a burden to Sydney. Thank you for reading and understanding. = )
 
omg its over already!! :eek: i loved that story!!! i really wanted to know what was wrong with vaughn but its such a great mystery for us since we will never know!! i hope you write more stories in the future and i will certainly be waiting to read more from you!! :D (y)
 
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::tears:: that was so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::tears::........... that was good...i want a sequel
 
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