The Music Video Critic


Britney Spears

Directed by An hardcore ALIAS fan;

Hi there people. So, great song, in the You-Can’t-Help-But-Shaking category. I must say the first time I saw the video that was also the first time I eard the music, I got quite shocked. You know, after seeing Chiristina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” you pretty much think you’ve seen it all, but nooooo, in the “Who’s the truly b*tch?” competition you can also see Britney-The-Hostess-Of-Any-Guy-Dreams-Spears doing the porn and demented version of my beloved Jennifer Garner’s Sydney Bristow character-- forgive me Jennifer for even associating your name to this. Because, as a mad fan of the show I still can’t decide if I take this video as a complement or as a sick insult.

So as we are pretenting to be The-Fiction-CIA-Most-Efficient-Agent, Cow-Britney goes on an undercover mission, or so it seems, because you will never think she would be playing a hostess for a video when the song is called “Toxic”, unless of course the lyric was about poison some aeroplane passengers’ food; and if you were not supost to guess the Air Company is quite broken, the crew uniforms quite speak for themselves. Or not, as it looks like it happens in the future, maybe that just the way the style coordinator of the whole thing assumes a hostess in a far faraway future will look like. Oh! And did I mention the hot dog guy hat? God, she looks like a freaking Buzz Lighter.

After stealing someting from a hot hot guy in the aeroplane bathroom -- among other things -- you can see her in Sydney’s red wig :redhair: and total tight secret agent black outfit, taking a pleasing ride with Tyson Beckford, perched in Tyson Beckford’s nude backs, in Tyson Beckford’s motocicle.

Assuming she met Tobey, in pure comic book style, Cat Britney does some pretty digital Spider jumps during the whole thing. And still as a red, she now plays Mrs. Michael Douglas in “The Entrapment” dancing along all those infra-reds.

Again, with Sydney’s black wig, after doing a seen ALIAS scene, she finally poisons another hot hot blonde green eyed guy – familiar? And again, now in pure Batman’s style she jumps from a building. And I’m waiting to see her laid flat on the ground, but there she is again into her little tiny Hugh-Hefner-Design hostess uniform, and back in action for the “Biggest Wh*re” prize.

Let me say I enjoy ( I had to enjoy something!! ) that shining outfit in the white background – although Jennifer Lopez as already done something resembling.

Yeah people, let’s just wait for Christina’s answer. That is going to be interesting.
You called her a COW? She's the farthest thing from. The music vid was a little risque I do have say, but whatever. Every artist uses someting from somewhere else in thier music vids. At least she's not dressing up as a school-girl again.
I loved this music video, I thought it was cool how she tied alias in it without knowing she did it weather or not she knew what she was doing it was cool