The rain


Apr 26, 2007
This is all up to the song “A Chill Of October”. The thought came into my mind, and I actually could not get rid of it. This might be a little completed fiction, or just an epilog for ‘how I see what happened to Irina after her extraction’. You choose. As for now, I suppose it stays on its own, waiting for comments (if there are any). Make sure you listened to the song I mentioned while reading. You can find it on youtube, the video is La femme Nikita-related. Nevermind.

The rain (or EPILOG)
By MariaPurt

This feeling is breaking me inside, and I am really afraid that it is succeeding.

Feeling of emptiness.



The rain covers my shoulders, and I know what I have to do. Memories flashing in my mind, hurting it even more.

Hurting me.

It’s cold, I guess, and I must be freezing now although I am not. I’m just crying, tears running down my wet cheeks, mixing with the rain.

The rain.

I assume I used to love it when I was small. As far as I hate it now, it’s a mystery.

The sky shouts and I am completely wet.


My fear makes me company.

The thought bothers my mind.

‘You are nothing anymore…’

Like i never was anything but a ghost.


They said I’d better die, so I did. Might that be the last time I obeyed them?

Well, why not?

For 10 years I had nothing but their plans, and assignments, and I had to fight my consciousness every time I wanted to be me. That was a luxury I could not afford: being myself, being Irina Derevko. For 10 years all I was … was Laura, the person that never existed.

Who would dare to blame me for non-patriotism? Who-would-dare-to? I’m cold, I know. And I desperately need a cup of hot tea and a blanket. Not the thought that the killer should have, I suppose.

Killer. Murderer.

I want to wash away the smell of dead Laura Bristow whom I killed just half an hour ago, making her car drown in the river.

That woman was dead now. Irina Derevko is pleased to be revived. It will take her… it will take ME two more hours to get to the KGB substation, where i…she will be transported to her homeland. I will be transported.

I’m freezing.

I’m crying.

I want to go back, don’t want anything change.

My mind tells me I will be sorry about these thoughts very soon. I’m coming home, that’s it. That is what I wanted to happen all those 10 years, and finally, she… I am free.

Ya svabOdna.

Does it sound like that? Am I still who I think I am?

I want to go home!


What is that? Where is that? Moscow or Los Angeles? Irina or Laura? Derevko or Bristow? A spy or a mother? Or maybe a traitor for everything I’d built during those 10 years?

I turn my face to look at the river for the last time in my life. I am so sure I will never come back here. This is the first and the last time Irina Derevko sees this place.

Goodbye, Jack. Take care of your daughter. Take care of…Sydney.

The end
Jun 19, 2006
Sooo sad. At first I thought it was after her extraction by Sloane then realized it wasn't. Well the woman has quite a number of extractions :P For me I choose to believe that she was forced to be extracted, so not like the portrayal of Irina I have in mind but still it's written very well. Either way it would be really tough to sort one's emotions after spending 10 years with her family then boom! all gone..
The line "you are nothing anymore" sums up her emotional state very well.


Apr 26, 2007
Thanks a lot:)
Well, i think she was extracted willingly. She still was some kind of patriot, i suppose:) No matter how strong she loved her husbend, she also thought she loved her motherland (a matter of habit i suppose).


Whatever ladies! but I really like this thread. It is full of feeling and emotions and I'm so emotional. SO I love it.
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