Season 3 The Tender Review of Remnants

THE TENDER REVIEW

Overview: EVERYONE LOVES ST. AIDAN AND HIS BREAKFAST CEREAL!

Syd finds out that Room 47 is actually the front door to Will's kitchen where she finds him nice and cozy eating everyone's favorite breakfast cereal, St. Aidan Flakes!

Will is about to tell Syd everything that happened in her two missing years, where her mommy ran off to, and the location of Bat Boy's cave, when suddenly, Hangover Harry has one too many Isopropyl Shots, wobbles around, and trips over the cord hooking Sydney to the "Dream Machine." Life's most sought after answers now may never be found!

On the Playboy Plane, Vaughn gets it on with a hot blonde... what do you mean I switched the channel to The Simple Life? Oh, woops, sorry! On the NOT Playboy Plane Jack wants to get Will out of Witness Protection because he's hogging all the St. Aidan Flakes to himself.

Later, Vaughn and Sloane argue over who loves Sydney more. (Sloane: I love her more! / Vaughn: I love her even more! / Sloane: I love her infinity! / Vaughn: I love her infinity times infinity!)

Sydney is hungry for some cheese and therefore heads on over to Wisconsin where she bumps into her old pal, Will. She attempts to steal his cheese so he pulls a gun out a threatens to kill her. Finally, he comes to his senses and realizes that if he gives her the cheese, maybe he'll get some of her cheese later on ;)

Sloane tells Lindsey he found someone that they could play paintball with on Tuesday nights and shoot Sydney at far range.

Sparky pays a visit to Hangover Harry. Sark sees a rat in the lab and tries to shoot it, but Harry's so stoned, he jumps in front of the bullet. Moron!

Sydney clues Will in about everything he doesn't know at the Eavesdroppers Diner. Six covenant agents disguised as bus boys record their conversation.

Will gets a sudden craving for St. Aidan Flakes and therefore rushes to the nearest phone to order more.

Not only is Hangover Harry addicted to coke, crack, heroine, LSD, pot, ecstacy, liquor, and glue, but also morphine! Man! Sark makes him angry by giving him bits at a time while he wants so much more!

Lindsey, Vaughn, and Jack meet at some office at the CIA where they discuss where their next fishing trip will be held. Lindsey suggests they use fake worms. Old Schoolin' Jack gets offended and up-jabs him unconcious as Vaughn pokes him with a stick.

Lindsey tells Marshall about how safe Sydney is and will be especially when a three foot sniper bullet is enloged in her aorta.

St. Aidan doesn't want to give Will any more of his cereal and starts to leave. Will says his real name and no longer has to spin thread into gold. (get it? Rumplestiltskin?)

Sark: St. - Aidan - Flake - Senses - TINGLING! Sark tries his best to steal all the St. Aidan Flakes and their maker so he can steal the secret recipe. Muhahaha!

Vaughn and Jack are being carted of to Alcatraz to join their old buddy, Dixon. Jack makes it very clear that Vaughn wears too much aftershave to date or love Sydney.

Syd and Will share some old memories about frat parties and Francie's red tank tops, when Syd's magnet tongue ring attracts Will's braces and they are forced to kiss until the magnetism dies.

Sloane realizes his paintball buddy is on vacation and therefore hires the second best: Antonio Banderas!

Sark holds Mr. St. Aidan hostage until he tells him the code to the secret vault full of all the St. Aidan Flakes in the world. He then realizes that St. Aidan is his daddy, and after a semi-touching moment understands he would inherit the vault full of flakes after his daddy dies. So he tries to make creme-brulee out of him.

Will gets his braces removed before he and Syd decide to go bar-hopping. They see a really pretty hotel along the way and decide to stop in. Robert Downey Jr. leads them to their room and steals the crack from a hillbilly in the hall along the way. Will orders four bottles of St. Aidan Flakes.

While running down the hall chasing after Downey Jr. who stole all their flakes, Syd decides that it would be a good time to try out the color of her new lipstick.
The wall comes open and her magnet tongue ring acts up once again, this time repelling the lead egg inside sending it right to Sark.

Alias turns into Kill Will Vol. 1, but in the end, Sydney gets the lead egg back and Will gets revenge on Freplica AND his four bottles of St. Aidan Flakes!

Sydney goes back to the dock to meet up with Lindsey and Sloane when Antonio can't tell which one (Lindsey or Syd) is the woman he's supposed to shoot. Unfortunately, he kills the wrong one.

Sydney is angry that Sloane killed Lindsey all over a box of power strengthening St. Aidan Flakes he wanted from the CIA labs.

Will leaves the CIA to head back to his now rotting cheese and leaves Syd with only the memory of the two hooked together haunting her for the rest of her life!
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Best Part of the Episode: The mission with Sydney and Will at the hotel was absolutely FABULOUS!

Worst Part of the Episode: The episode barely slowed except during some meeting times between Jack, Vaughn, and co. Technically, I must say there really was no bad part!

Best Aspect of the Episode: We are a bit clued in to Sloane's true endgame.

Worst Aspect of the Episdoe: The missing years of Syd's life are not in her at all! How the heck are they gonna figure it out!

The Awesome: Syd, Will, Jack, the missions

The Great: Sark, Vaughn, Weiss, Sloane, the Jack/Vaughn interactions

The Good: Marshall and Lindsey

The Bad: Diddlysquat!

Overall Rating: 8/10 - There wasn't a single moment where my heart wasn't racing like a cheetah hunting its prey throughout the episode! Two thumbs up for the acting, writing, directing, EVERYTHING! And Will sure did come back and go out with quite a bang!
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Look for THE TENDER REVIEW of all Season 3 Episodes and synopses starting at "Breaking Point!"
 
Later, Vaughn and Sloane argue over who loves Sydney more. (Sloane: I love her more! / Vaughn: I love her even more! / Sloane: I love her infinity! / Vaughn: I love her infinity times infinity!)

I can actually picture this conversation!! :rotflmao:

I love your reviews! You should go back and write them for the Season 1 and 2 episodes. At least it would be something entertaining to read during rerun season.. :D
 
Cute review! Kinda like Regina's on Television Without Pity (that's a good thing ;) ). I agree, Will's mission was the greatest!
 
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