Alias_luver33
Cadet
Author:Shammi (Alias_luver33) and Claire (AliasFreak24)!
Age:I'm not going to be afraid anymore!! I'm 11 years old, and now, proud of it!!
Genre:Angst...the season ending just calls for it! Also, keep in mind that this is labeled S/V for a reason....
Special thanks:Thank you soooo much Claire!! I couldn't have done this fic without you! You're the best! Luv ya!
Let's get started!!
All her moments are spent thinking of him. Wishing and hoping that one day she can have him. But, those prayers are useless knowing that there is no future with him. And when she sleeps he’s there, in her dreams. She’d wake up with a smile on her face, but that smile soon disappears and tears fall as reality comes crashing down on her shoulders, and she realizes that those dreams will never be real. Countless days and nights are spent crying because she can’t get over him. She can’t get over the fact that she won’t ever be with him. Never being able to touch him, never enjoying the feel of his skin on hers, never getting goosebumps on her skin while he kisses her, never turning to him for comfort, and never being able to get lost in a different world while they talk for hours. She realizes that she would never get to have this with him. And yet, she’s still here. Her life has no meaning, no purpose, but he keeps her here. Just as long as he’s alive, she’ll be here. Hoping and praying that one day he’ll be hers…..forever.
As she sits here on this bench, while looking out into the serene ocean from the Santa Monica Pier, she starts to remember when her life took another dramatic turn-when she realized that she has no one.
*~*~*Flashback: A week earlier – Hong Kong*~*~*
“Vaughn, why are you wearing that ring?” All that could be heard was her heart pounding violently. She could tell he was a little uncomfortable, but she was still anxious to get answers from him.
“Syd, since that night,… you’ve been missing,…. you’ve been missing for two years.”
She was too shocked to say anything. She was confused, also. Wasn’t Vaughn supposed to pick me up an hour later so we could leave for Santa Barbara? Didn’t I just kiss him goodbye about 20 minutes ago? Weren’t we just about to have the greatest weekend of our lives, she thought.
It was about two minutes later until she finally said something. Even then she had trouble with her words. “I-I don’t understand. How could that…Vaughn, we were supposed to go to Santa Barbara…I’m-I’m confused.”
There was more uncomfortable silence after that. She couldn’t take all of the questions flooding through her mind, so she had to break the tension.
“Vaughn, please tell me what’s going on.”
He took a deep breath. “When I came to pick you up that night…you weren’t there. There was so much blood. It was everywhere. We identified the blood as yours. We looked everywhere for you, Syd. But, we still couldn’t find you.”
She was in utter disbelief. But, she still has some questions that she had to get out.
“So, you got married.” It was more of a statement than a question. She looked down at her feet. She didn’t dare to look at him. She didn’t have the courage to. She averted her eyes.
“Yes. I did.”
It took her a while to debate whether or not to ask her next question. Too late, her curiosity already took a hold of her.
“Who?”
“What?”
“Who? Who did you marry?”
Her eyes were still locked on her feet. She couldn’t---wouldn’t ---show him the tears that were stinging her eyes.
“Alice.”
Her head shot up suddenly. It took her everything she had inside to keep from letting out all the rage and sadness building up from within her. She let out a deep breath. This was all too much for her. Little did she know there was more to come.
“Uuummm…there’s more to explain, but let’s get you on the plane first.”
He stood up and walked to the door, but then stopped to look back at her. She was still sitting where she was for the past seven minutes. Her eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall. Now, her tears were falling openly. They were followed by short sobs.
He walks back to her. “Syd, we have to go.”
After about 30 seconds of more eerie silence, she finally got up. He led her to the plane.
*~*~*~*
After about 10 minutes the plane took off. She slept for about an hour. Of course, she was dreaming of him. She was longing for him so much, but she knew she couldn’t have him. He’s a happily married man. He wouldn’t just leave his wife for me, she thought.
She finally realized that she’s spent so much time thinking about Vaughn, she forgot about everyone else. She mentally slapped herself in the face for thinking so much of Vaughn, and pushing everyone else aside. So, she went to go look for Vaughn. He was reading a book when she found him. He seemed so engrossed in it, she almost didn’t want to disturb him, but she knew she had to.
“Uuummm…sorry to disturb you…but, I was just curious about everyone else.”
He quickly put his bookmark inside the book and put it aside. He sat up straighter.
“What do you want to know?”
“First off, how did Will survive?”
“Well, we’re not very sure how. We spoke with him and he said that when he woke up, he was all fixed up. He didn’t remember anything before that. He didn’t know who saved him.”
“That’s amazing. I can’t believe he survived that. When I get home, I’m going to have so many questions for him!”
The slightest smile appeared on her face. She couldn’t wait to go and see him.
But, Vaughn’s face immediately fell. He was staring at his shoes. Her smile soon disappeared. She was worried now.
“Vaughn, what’s wrong?”
He looked up again and swallowed hard.
“Syd, after you went missing, Will quit his job at the CIA. He was looking for other jobs, but they wouldn’t accept him because he had a ‘drug history.’ He decided that he didn’t want to be around here anymore; he wanted to get away. So, he moved out of the country; to Germany.”
All she could do was sit there and just take it all in. “Oh my God,” was all she could get out. After about 30 more seconds, she asked him more questions.
“What about Sloane? Please tell me he’s in CIA custody.”
“Unfortunately, no. He’s still out there.” Her head shot back down.
“Derevko?”
“We actually don’t know where she is. She’s been MIA ever since you disappeared. She finally looked up. “You mean no one has any idea where she is?”
“Nope.”
“What about my dad? I’d love to see the expression on his face when he sees me,” she jokes. She decided to make light out of the situation.
Again, Vaughn’s head shot down. For the second time this night, she asked him, “Vaughn, what’s wrong?” After a couple of seconds, he answered.
“Syd, after about a year, he quit CIA. Kendall declared you dead and told everybody to stop searching. Jack, he said that he couldn’t take it anymore. That he lost everything ever since he got into this whole spy life. Me and your father, we got along real well after you went missing. We always kept in touch. He – both of us – still searched for you even after Kendall told us to stop. For about a month we got nowhere. I left to Barcelona for a week because we thought we had a lead. But, it didn’t work out. About two days later, I called him to see what we were going to do next. I couldn’t get a hold of him, though. We searched his house and didn’t find him. He disappeared without a trace. He’s been gone ever since. It’s like he wanted to be in solitude. It’s been harder for me to try to find him by myself since he quit CIA.”
By now, she was already in tears. Could this actually be happening to me, she thought. Her life was officially ruined. Her best friend is dead, her other best friend lives in Germany, her father left without a trace, and the love of her life got married to his ex-girlfriend, which she completely despised. Everyone was gone. I have no one, she thought.
*~*~*~* End of Flashback*~*~*~*
She just realized that all of these things happened because of her. She has destroyed all of them. Francie is dead because she was her best friend. Sloane had to find someone close to Syd and they chose Francie. She was completely innocent; she had no idea what Syd really did.
Will left because she wasn’t there. That she “died,” and Francie died too.
Her father disappeared because of her. He spent a year or more looking for her. Then, he just couldn’t take it. He couldn’t accept the face that he might never find her. So, he just left. He could’ve been a wonderful director. He would’ve moved on somehow. He would have something else to live for. But, he just gave up on everything.
She’s been sitting here for about an hour. She has nowhere else to go. Before Will left, he sold her house. So, now she has to look for an apartment. There were some to her interest, but they all had one problem: they’re all close to Vaughn’s house. The day after that dreadful night where Vaughn told Sydney that he was married, he gave her his new phone number and address in case she needed anything. All of the apartments were about a block away from Vaughn’s. She could never bear to see him walk or drive by. It hurt too much to see his face.
For the last week, she’s stayed at Weiss’s. She was going to just stay at a hotel, but then Vaughn offered me to stay at his house. She quickly said no. That was the last thing she’d want to do. Finally, Eric offered. I said that it was okay for me to just stay at the hotel, but he insisted.
Vaughn convinced Kendall to postpone the de-brief until two weeks later until she gets situated. She was glad he did that, though, which is probably the only thing that she was thankful he did ever since she “died.” Anyways, Weiss and I had a late night talk about everything that’s happened. He told her that they held a funeral for Francie. Right when he mentioned Francie, she started crying hysterically. She told him what she was feeling- that everyone she knew got hurt in some way. He comforted her a lot; he gave her a shoulder to cry on, which she didn’t have anymore. She didn’t know if he knew, but she really appreciated it.
They also talked about her father. She still couldn’t believe he was gone. Weiss told her that it’s been hard to look for him since he never leaves any sort of trace. While he was talking, she was still crying.
After a while, they decided to go to bed. She didn’t actually fall asleep until a half an hour later. There were so many things she was thinking of. She didn’t know what to do now. But, there was one thing she was determined to do: to find her father….
So, people what do you think?? I'M A SUCKER FOR REVIEWS!! REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS!! I think I can take criticism too!!
~Shammi~ :redhair:
Age:I'm not going to be afraid anymore!! I'm 11 years old, and now, proud of it!!
Genre:Angst...the season ending just calls for it! Also, keep in mind that this is labeled S/V for a reason....
Special thanks:Thank you soooo much Claire!! I couldn't have done this fic without you! You're the best! Luv ya!
Let's get started!!
All her moments are spent thinking of him. Wishing and hoping that one day she can have him. But, those prayers are useless knowing that there is no future with him. And when she sleeps he’s there, in her dreams. She’d wake up with a smile on her face, but that smile soon disappears and tears fall as reality comes crashing down on her shoulders, and she realizes that those dreams will never be real. Countless days and nights are spent crying because she can’t get over him. She can’t get over the fact that she won’t ever be with him. Never being able to touch him, never enjoying the feel of his skin on hers, never getting goosebumps on her skin while he kisses her, never turning to him for comfort, and never being able to get lost in a different world while they talk for hours. She realizes that she would never get to have this with him. And yet, she’s still here. Her life has no meaning, no purpose, but he keeps her here. Just as long as he’s alive, she’ll be here. Hoping and praying that one day he’ll be hers…..forever.
As she sits here on this bench, while looking out into the serene ocean from the Santa Monica Pier, she starts to remember when her life took another dramatic turn-when she realized that she has no one.
*~*~*Flashback: A week earlier – Hong Kong*~*~*
“Vaughn, why are you wearing that ring?” All that could be heard was her heart pounding violently. She could tell he was a little uncomfortable, but she was still anxious to get answers from him.
“Syd, since that night,… you’ve been missing,…. you’ve been missing for two years.”
She was too shocked to say anything. She was confused, also. Wasn’t Vaughn supposed to pick me up an hour later so we could leave for Santa Barbara? Didn’t I just kiss him goodbye about 20 minutes ago? Weren’t we just about to have the greatest weekend of our lives, she thought.
It was about two minutes later until she finally said something. Even then she had trouble with her words. “I-I don’t understand. How could that…Vaughn, we were supposed to go to Santa Barbara…I’m-I’m confused.”
There was more uncomfortable silence after that. She couldn’t take all of the questions flooding through her mind, so she had to break the tension.
“Vaughn, please tell me what’s going on.”
He took a deep breath. “When I came to pick you up that night…you weren’t there. There was so much blood. It was everywhere. We identified the blood as yours. We looked everywhere for you, Syd. But, we still couldn’t find you.”
She was in utter disbelief. But, she still has some questions that she had to get out.
“So, you got married.” It was more of a statement than a question. She looked down at her feet. She didn’t dare to look at him. She didn’t have the courage to. She averted her eyes.
“Yes. I did.”
It took her a while to debate whether or not to ask her next question. Too late, her curiosity already took a hold of her.
“Who?”
“What?”
“Who? Who did you marry?”
Her eyes were still locked on her feet. She couldn’t---wouldn’t ---show him the tears that were stinging her eyes.
“Alice.”
Her head shot up suddenly. It took her everything she had inside to keep from letting out all the rage and sadness building up from within her. She let out a deep breath. This was all too much for her. Little did she know there was more to come.
“Uuummm…there’s more to explain, but let’s get you on the plane first.”
He stood up and walked to the door, but then stopped to look back at her. She was still sitting where she was for the past seven minutes. Her eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall. Now, her tears were falling openly. They were followed by short sobs.
He walks back to her. “Syd, we have to go.”
After about 30 seconds of more eerie silence, she finally got up. He led her to the plane.
*~*~*~*
After about 10 minutes the plane took off. She slept for about an hour. Of course, she was dreaming of him. She was longing for him so much, but she knew she couldn’t have him. He’s a happily married man. He wouldn’t just leave his wife for me, she thought.
She finally realized that she’s spent so much time thinking about Vaughn, she forgot about everyone else. She mentally slapped herself in the face for thinking so much of Vaughn, and pushing everyone else aside. So, she went to go look for Vaughn. He was reading a book when she found him. He seemed so engrossed in it, she almost didn’t want to disturb him, but she knew she had to.
“Uuummm…sorry to disturb you…but, I was just curious about everyone else.”
He quickly put his bookmark inside the book and put it aside. He sat up straighter.
“What do you want to know?”
“First off, how did Will survive?”
“Well, we’re not very sure how. We spoke with him and he said that when he woke up, he was all fixed up. He didn’t remember anything before that. He didn’t know who saved him.”
“That’s amazing. I can’t believe he survived that. When I get home, I’m going to have so many questions for him!”
The slightest smile appeared on her face. She couldn’t wait to go and see him.
But, Vaughn’s face immediately fell. He was staring at his shoes. Her smile soon disappeared. She was worried now.
“Vaughn, what’s wrong?”
He looked up again and swallowed hard.
“Syd, after you went missing, Will quit his job at the CIA. He was looking for other jobs, but they wouldn’t accept him because he had a ‘drug history.’ He decided that he didn’t want to be around here anymore; he wanted to get away. So, he moved out of the country; to Germany.”
All she could do was sit there and just take it all in. “Oh my God,” was all she could get out. After about 30 more seconds, she asked him more questions.
“What about Sloane? Please tell me he’s in CIA custody.”
“Unfortunately, no. He’s still out there.” Her head shot back down.
“Derevko?”
“We actually don’t know where she is. She’s been MIA ever since you disappeared. She finally looked up. “You mean no one has any idea where she is?”
“Nope.”
“What about my dad? I’d love to see the expression on his face when he sees me,” she jokes. She decided to make light out of the situation.
Again, Vaughn’s head shot down. For the second time this night, she asked him, “Vaughn, what’s wrong?” After a couple of seconds, he answered.
“Syd, after about a year, he quit CIA. Kendall declared you dead and told everybody to stop searching. Jack, he said that he couldn’t take it anymore. That he lost everything ever since he got into this whole spy life. Me and your father, we got along real well after you went missing. We always kept in touch. He – both of us – still searched for you even after Kendall told us to stop. For about a month we got nowhere. I left to Barcelona for a week because we thought we had a lead. But, it didn’t work out. About two days later, I called him to see what we were going to do next. I couldn’t get a hold of him, though. We searched his house and didn’t find him. He disappeared without a trace. He’s been gone ever since. It’s like he wanted to be in solitude. It’s been harder for me to try to find him by myself since he quit CIA.”
By now, she was already in tears. Could this actually be happening to me, she thought. Her life was officially ruined. Her best friend is dead, her other best friend lives in Germany, her father left without a trace, and the love of her life got married to his ex-girlfriend, which she completely despised. Everyone was gone. I have no one, she thought.
*~*~*~* End of Flashback*~*~*~*
She just realized that all of these things happened because of her. She has destroyed all of them. Francie is dead because she was her best friend. Sloane had to find someone close to Syd and they chose Francie. She was completely innocent; she had no idea what Syd really did.
Will left because she wasn’t there. That she “died,” and Francie died too.
Her father disappeared because of her. He spent a year or more looking for her. Then, he just couldn’t take it. He couldn’t accept the face that he might never find her. So, he just left. He could’ve been a wonderful director. He would’ve moved on somehow. He would have something else to live for. But, he just gave up on everything.
She’s been sitting here for about an hour. She has nowhere else to go. Before Will left, he sold her house. So, now she has to look for an apartment. There were some to her interest, but they all had one problem: they’re all close to Vaughn’s house. The day after that dreadful night where Vaughn told Sydney that he was married, he gave her his new phone number and address in case she needed anything. All of the apartments were about a block away from Vaughn’s. She could never bear to see him walk or drive by. It hurt too much to see his face.
For the last week, she’s stayed at Weiss’s. She was going to just stay at a hotel, but then Vaughn offered me to stay at his house. She quickly said no. That was the last thing she’d want to do. Finally, Eric offered. I said that it was okay for me to just stay at the hotel, but he insisted.
Vaughn convinced Kendall to postpone the de-brief until two weeks later until she gets situated. She was glad he did that, though, which is probably the only thing that she was thankful he did ever since she “died.” Anyways, Weiss and I had a late night talk about everything that’s happened. He told her that they held a funeral for Francie. Right when he mentioned Francie, she started crying hysterically. She told him what she was feeling- that everyone she knew got hurt in some way. He comforted her a lot; he gave her a shoulder to cry on, which she didn’t have anymore. She didn’t know if he knew, but she really appreciated it.
They also talked about her father. She still couldn’t believe he was gone. Weiss told her that it’s been hard to look for him since he never leaves any sort of trace. While he was talking, she was still crying.
After a while, they decided to go to bed. She didn’t actually fall asleep until a half an hour later. There were so many things she was thinking of. She didn’t know what to do now. But, there was one thing she was determined to do: to find her father….
So, people what do you think?? I'M A SUCKER FOR REVIEWS!! REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS!! I think I can take criticism too!!
~Shammi~ :redhair:
We're around the same age!!! I jsut turned 12 this month!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!! You are SUCH a good writer!! A better one than me!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO GOOD!!! 
I think michael vartan is gorgeous too! :sigh: