This Love

amy lynn

The Polish Pirate
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
Title: This love
Author: amy lynn...or just amy
Summary: short sarkney songfic
Rating: R for a teeny bit 'o' smut
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me...They're ABC, Bad Robot, and JJ's


I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart


She slipped away again in the middle of the night. How she manages to leave without waking him, he’ll never know. Each time he wakes up alone, a note on the pillow next to his. It always says the same thing.

I hope you understand. Last night was the last time.
-S


But it never is the last time. She comes to him late at night, he lets her in, they f***, she leaves, and he wakes up alone and reads the same note.
Over and over again. It is a vicious cycle. One that neither will end. It seems that neither has the will to end it. She always says that it is the last time, but she keeps coming back. And he keeps letting her in, instead of shutting the door like he should. She is his one weakness.

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore


It was the right thing to do. He couldn’t keep f***ing her in the darkness of night only to face her hatred during the day. This contradiction in her attitudes was wearing him down. It was making him feel. It was making him hurt. And that was something that he could not stand for.

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again


The hours between her crossing the threshold of his apartment were spent with such passion. There were never many words, just her soft pleas, and his growled responses.

She f***ed with a passion that surprised him at first. He was half afraid that the passion he always saw simmering beneath her professional attitude was only his fantasy. But it wasn’t. The reality of her fire far surpassed anything he could have ever imagined, much to his enjoyment.

The first time she came to him, she was furious. It was the same day that he showed up at SD-6 with Sloane. Right after she knew that Vaughn was going to be okay…and was going to be home that night with his precious girlfriend, Alice.
He opened the door to her blazing eyes. He almost feared that he would burn. But he never showed that to her. Instead he watched her fume with cool blue eyes, like ice, silently mocking her anger.

That is what sent her off the deep end. She wanted to see fire in those cold eyes. She knew that he found her attractive. She knew that he admired her abilities as a spy. She knew that she could have him if she wanted. So she decided to play with him, just for a little while. To see if she could break that cool exterior.
And she did. Eventually. It took a while that first night. She stopped in the middle of her tirade, which honestly he had stopped listening to after the first words “you cocky British son of a …” blah blah blah. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before.

She looked at him speculatively. He wondered what she was up to. He found out soon after that. She started walking towards him, sauntering really. She stopped and stood very close to him, and ran her hands up his bare chest, exploring the muscles she encountered across the way. She barely grazed over his nipples, barely enough for him to feel it, but also enough for his blood to heat up all through his body.

She looked into his eyes, but the blue orbs were still cool and slightly mocking. She let her hands rest on his shoulders and a moment later shoved him with some force against the wall. She pressed herself to his body slowly, all the while her eyes locked with his. There was no change in his expression, but she could feel his arousal through the cotton pants he was wearing. Her expression turned from one of determination to one of mocking as well. She cocked her right eyebrow and laughed softly.

He knew she had him, and she knew she had him too. But he kept his face as still as stone, daring her to make the next move. She leaned her face up to his slowly, nuzzling his neck a little bit, but she did not kiss him yet. She leaned her face up to his ear, and he could feel her hot breath near him, but not quite touching. It was beginning to feel like torture. He wanted her to touch him so badly, but he didn’t say anything.

He remained silent, but while she was nuzzling his neck, her right hand wandered south. She briefly touch his nipples again, with the same soft touch. She then moved her hand slowly down his abdomen, circled his belly button lightly, and reached the waistband of his pants. Instead of slipping her hand inside, as his body desperately craved, she opted to tease some more. She used the same light touch to stroke him through his pants, the sensation just barely reaching his dick. But it was enough for his arousal to rise even more, and for his body to crave a more forceful touch.

A soft groan escaped his lips. It was more a breath than a real noise, but is was discernable just the same.

She looked into his eyes. This time, she saw the desire that was burning more with each brush of her hand against his erection. This lasted for a few seconds until he finally could not take it anymore.

He moved quickly and before she realized what had happened, her back was against the wall. He pressed his hips to hers, spreading her legs. She could feel his hardness nestling between her legs.

He broke the silence. “It’s not nice to play these games Sydney. You started this, love, just remember that.”

And with those words, his lips came crashing down on hers. The kiss was not a gentle first kiss between lovers. This was brutal passion. She gasped in response and he used this opening to begin the battle of the tongues. His stroked hers, she stroked back, and it was a duel of passion. When he broke away, he was as breathless as she was.

She spoke quietly, he almost couldn’t hear her. “I want you. I shouldn’t, but I do.”

With that, he backed up; pulled her off the wall and they silently made their way to the bedroom.

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore


He knew he was going to end this tonight. They could not keep torturing each other. Theirs was a life where happy endings were scare, and usually not to be trusted. They could keep f***ing, but to what purpose would it serve? He could never replace the sickeningly good Agent Vaughn and she would never accept him for what he was.

I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on her hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do


She came by that night like usual. This time, his eyes were colder than normal. If that was even possible.

His voice was emotionless as he said, “If you leave in the middle of the night tonight with the same note you always do, know that I will not open this door to you again. If you write those words again, know that tonight is the last night.”

She looked into his eyes and saw that he was completely serious. She nodded, hesitantly, and said, “Do you want me to leave now?”

He laughed, bitterly. “No, I don’t want you to leave. That is the point my dear, dense Sydney.”

She looked at him quizzically.

“You don’t get it do you? Well, I’ll spell it out for you. I’m tired of you imagining him when you come. You always bite your lip before you shout out my name. No doubt to keep yourself from calling out his name. As much as I still want you, I will not be his replacement. I know now that you will never see the world in anything other than black and white. He will always be good, and I will always be evil. The funny thing is, you don’t see the shades of grey that you yourself operate in. So this is it, Sydney. One last time and then I’m done, love.”

She was speechless at outburst. Although he was right about some things, he was wrong about some others. But she was not about to correct him right now, she didn’t want to think about what he had said just yet. She just wanted him.
So after a moment she nodded in agreement to his words and closed the space between them. She slipped her hand into his, interlacing their fingers. They walked silently to his bedroom, as always. They reserved their ferocity for the bedroom.

It was a night of violent, passionate, desperate f***ing. They both knew that they would never find this passion with anybody else.

After they had expended all of their energy, he pulled her body close to his and wrapped his arms around her to sleep, if only for a little while. He could feel her tears against his chest. He wasn’t sure exactly who or what her tears were for. So he just stroked her hair to try and soothe her. They fell asleep in this position.
A few hours later, he felt her shift and knew that she was leaving him. He felt a pang of disappointment. He had hoped she would stay. But he had known, deep down, that she never would have chosen a life with him. It was their reality.

He slept again, and when he woke in the morning, she was gone like he suspected. Instead of her usual note though, a longer letter was left on the pillow her head had occupied just a few hours earlier.

I had hoped you understood why I kept saying that it was the last time. After last night I have realized that you did not. Some of the things you said last night were true. But not all of them. I slept with you the first night to prove that I could break that cool façade of yours. I wanted to see something besides coldness in your eyes. I succeeded at that, but never guessed the passion that you aroused in me. I have never once imagined you were him. I bit my lip before I came those many times to keep from crying. It was so beautiful what I felt for you, but terrible at the same time. The most intense passion mixed with hatred and violence will only lead to a disaster which I may never survive. You’re right. We must end this game…
-S


One lone tear slipped down his cheek. He had not understood. Now that he did, it was too late. He would never know how life could have been, if he had truly understood her.

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore


A/N: Fic title and lyrics from the song “This Love” by Maroon 5
 

hotpot

The Bubbly
Joined
Oct 29, 2003
Wooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooo! Sarkney hotness!!! I love the lyrics you used - very fitting to this fic!

“You don’t get it do you? Well, I’ll spell it out for you. I’m tired of you imagining him when you come. You always bite your lip before you shout out my name. No doubt to keep yourself from calling out his name. As much as I still want you, I will not be his replacement. I know now that you will never see the world in anything other than black and white. He will always be good, and I will always be evil. The funny thing is, you don’t see the shades of grey that you yourself operate in. So this is it, Sydney. One last time and then I’m done, love.”
My favorite bit - I loved the shades of grey part - Go Sark! Tell it like it is (y)

Nicely done! I enjoyed it - thank you for posting and I hope you post more fics in the future!!! (Esp. if they are Sarkney - we need more here at AA!!)
 

Quiet Disaster

I heart Chris Carrabba
Joined
May 4, 2003
Location
CT
Whoo, let me catch my breath!

That was FRIGGIN' AWESOME! I loved the song you used (my favorite!) and the Sarkney action was friggin' HOT!

Are you sure this only a one-parter?? ;)
 

amy lynn

The Polish Pirate
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
YAY! Reviews!! amy = :jump:

Galicdreamer: Thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely be writing more...sorry to confuse! I'll take that into consideration next time! I always appreciate people's input.

AliasFanSweden: Thanks! I think that was one of my favorite parts to write...I just love it when Sark tells it like it is...

Mrs. Sark: yay! glad you liked it. Sarkney is just plain hot. For now this is a one-parter. I don't quite know where else I would go with this...but I have some ideas for other stories to write...Sarkney is stuck in my head right now!

hotpot: I agree...there needs to be more Sarkney here...I definitely plan on writing/posting more...and I started reading your fic, Lies in Silence...can I just say fantastic! I haven't finished catching up it yet, but so far it's just amazing!

Thanks for all of your wonderful comments!

amy
 

sintheeah

Vartan's Lover
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Location
cAlIfOrNiA
This is the first sarkney fic I have ever read. the song got my attention. I really thought your fic was awsome!!!. Great writting!!! I guess I was wrong about sarkney fics cause yours was great I loved it! :shamefullyembarrased:

sin
 
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