aliasobsessed89
Cadet
A/N- I wrote this short humor fiction for my friend Liz's birthday back in May, I just thought I would post it over here for the heck of it. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: No I don’t own alias.
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“We are in Buenos Aries for not even 2 hours and we can’t find one thing to do?” Vaughn said taking another sip of his beer.
“It’s sad. We’re lost when we’re not working.” Sydney said taking the beer bottle from him and taking a sip quickly before returning it.
“We spend forever working on all of us getting away from work and we end up sitting around in Nadia’s friends living room while they’re away. It’s just what I always imagined a vacation would be like.” Weiss said sarcastically.
“Well it’s too late for the beach, how about a movie?” Nadia suggested handing Sydney a beer and sitting next to Weiss.
“Seen all of them.” Weiss said quickly.
“No you haven’t” Nadia argued.
“You were with me!” Weiss reminded her with a laugh.
“Oh… on our dates? Well you didn’t actually SEE those movies.”
“Thanks for the visual!” Sydney said with a laugh throwing the pillow she had been holding on her lap across the coffee table at her sister.
“Oh come on. Like you two haven’t made out at a theater before!” Weiss said rolling his eyes. “That’s why I stopped going with you to the movies!”
“No we haven’t. At least not with you there.” Sydney argued.
“Well there was the time we went to see Jersey girl at your request, and you got bored five minutes into the movie.” Vaughn said looking over at her with a smirk.
“Oh yeah… well that was just a bad movie. We had nothing better to do.”
“So I had to watch you make out!”
“You didn’t have to watch.” Vaughn said with a laugh.
“Well there is a bookstore place that has live musicians on weekends, they usually suck though.”
Vaughn started to laugh and soon Sydney caught on to the joke and started laughing with him.
“What’s so funny?” Nadia asked confused.
“Oh s***.” Weiss mumbled as Vaughn stopped laughing so he could start his story.
“There was this time in college Weiss liked this girl.”
Weiss cut in, “Mainly I made a fool of myself trying to play guitar on stage to impress her. End of story.” Weiss said hastily.
“Oh and did you get this girl?” Nadia asked with raised eyebrows.
“The ugly sl** was nothing compared to you Nads.”
Nadia laughed, “I love how all your ex’s have some problem and I seem to have none.”
“Amazing isn’t it?” Weiss said leaning over and kissing Nadia.
“Come on Nads he’s just trying to get you into bed!” Sydney yelled with a laugh.
“Suck up.” Vaughn said as Weiss sat back up.
“A kiss is the upper persuasion for a lower invasion.” Weiss announced as if he were reading Shakespeare causing Sydney and Nadia to roll their eyes as Vaughn and Weiss laughed.
“So Weiss and you went to college together right?”
“Yeah.” Vaughn said putting his beer down on the table.
“What other stupid thing did he do?” Nadia asked with a menacing look.
“I don’t think so.” Vaughn said with a shake of his head.
“Why not!”
“Because, he has stuff on me.” Vaughn said with a smile.
“You got that right.” Weiss said smirking.
“Oh come on guys.” Sydney started, moving closer to Vaughn and wrapping her arm around his waist.
“Just a few stories.” Nadia finished doing the same thing to Weiss.
“They have us around their fingers.” Vaughn said with a sigh.
“You got that right.” Weiss repeated.
“But still…” Vaughn said pretending he wasn’t going to do it.
“Weiss, you tell us stories, and you can have a date of you choice, eat at what ever crappy restaurant you like, any movie, and I’ll pay.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
Nadia laughed taking out her cell phone, “I’ll do better.”
Dialing Weiss’s home phone she explained she would leave a message promising a date of his choice.
After five rings the answering machine picked up and Nadia laughed at the new message Weiss had put on it.
“Hi you've reached the home of Eric Weiss and Alan the dog, also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP)”
Nadia quickly left the message and Vaughn sighed.
“Dude, you’re betraying me for a date.” He slowly shook his head as if in disappointment.
“Same goes for you Mr.” Sydney said resting her chin on Vaughn’s shoulder.
“I don’t want a date with Nadia!” He said in pretend disgust.
Sydney laughed hitting his arm.
“Oh I feel so loved.” Nadia said pretending to act hurt.
“You aren’t” Sydney confirmed causing Nadia laugh.
“So where do I start…” Weiss said as if he had so many stories he couldn’t decide what to start off with. In truth he knew exactly what one.
“Well…” Weiss said drawing the word out as Vaughn sat back preparing himself for what was to come.
“It was our freshman year, and know those fast food joints that you have to be desperate to work at? The ones with everyone in bad uniforms?”
“You worked at one of those?” Sydney asked turning to Vaughn.
“Not only did this man work at one, he was manager.” Weiss explained mockingly.
“Meaning my uniform was even worse than everyone else’s.”
“What was it?” Nadia asked looking over at Weiss.
“I could explain, but words don’t justify this uniform.” Weiss said standing up and walking over to his briefcase.
“Dude, what you getting?” Vaughn said suddenly tense.
Weiss just smiled taking something out of an envelope and walking over showing it to Nadia before she burst out laughing.
“How long exactly have you been carrying that around waiting to tell this?” Vaughn asked in shock.
“Since I took it.” Weiss said as if nothing was wrong with that.
“Let me see!” Sydney said holding her hand out for the picture.
“Are you sure Syd? I mean, you’ll lose all respect for the man sitting next to you.”
“Come on, it can’t be that bad!”
Nadia shrugged handing the picture over. Sydney looked at it biting her lip. The picture showed a young college Vaughn with bright red pants, a bright blue and red-stripped shirt and to top it off a hamburger hat.
“The shirt was actually blindingly shinny in person.” Weiss added just to make it all that much worse for Vaughn.
“We ended up boycotting the uniforms eventually.” Vaughn said attempting to save some of his pride.
“This your mom?” Sydney asked pointing to the woman standing next to Vaughn in the picture and smiling.
“Yeah…” Vaughn said suddenly smirking.
“Oh s***.” Weiss said covering his face for a second in his hands.
“What! What!” Sydney and Nadia prompted.
“Well, it was sophomore year and I was hanging out with Weiss in our dorm one night.” Vaughn started off trying not to laugh. “I had a little phone book-”
“Did this little book happen to be black?” Nadia asked with a smirk cutting Vaughn off.
“No, it wasn’t-”
“Vaughn didn’t know girls in college.” Weiss said cutting Vaughn off again.
“Dude, shut up.” Vaughn said rolling his eyes. “But Weiss was flipping though it because he may have had a little too much to drink. When I was in the other room Weiss decided to call a random person in the book, under the name Clarissa Maria V.” Vaughn took a deep breath shaking his head at what he was about to say. “He gets the answering machine and he decides to leave a message. This was when I walked back in the room, and I just figured he was calling one of his friends or something. After the beep he says “Hey sexy, I’m naked, what are you up to? Well have a nice day.” Then he hangs up. I of course started cracking up and then he asks me who Clarissa is, and…”
“And Vaughn stops laughing and goes ghost white.” Weiss mumbled his head down.
“Who was it?” Nadia asked already laughing.
“My mom.” Vaughn said shaking his head.
“Who the hell doesn’t just write mom!” Weiss says as Sydney and Nadia begin laughing so hard their eyes watered.
“Me.” Vaughn answered simply.
“Did she know who it was?” Sydney asked once she was able to clam down.
“No. But she did call me that night telling me she got a disturbing message on her answering machine.”
“Your poor mother!” Nadia said with a laugh.
“Thank god it was before caller ID.” Vaughn said shaking his head.
Nadia took Weiss’s beer away as he went to take another sip.
“I don’t think you need anymore of this, we don’t want you to accidentally call someone.” Nadia said in a teasing voice before taking a sip of his beer.
“You all suck.” Weiss said whiningly.
“Aww poor baby.” Sydney said mocking him.
“What about you Syd? Any embarrassing college stories?” Vaughn said feeling a bit bad for his friend.
“No way, no problems in college here.”
“Oh come on Syd, I’m sure there were.” Nadia said leaning forward.
“College wasn’t very exciting for me, the highlight of my college years was when my dorm got a salad bar.”
“Exciting Syd.” Nadia said rolling her eyes.
“She’s lying.” Vaughn said in a sure voice.
“No I’m not!” Sydney yelled suddenly defensive.
“Come on Sydney, tell us.”
“Well…” Sydney said with a sigh. “When I was in college I had long hair… I was baby sitting for a friend one night and the little girl got a hold of scissors… With out me knowing she cut out a chuck of my hair, a little shorter than my shoulders, from the back of my head.” Sydney paused. “The next day I had an oral presentation in one of my classes and I had worn my hair down instead of the normal pony tail. When I turned around to write on the board half of the class started laughing. It wasn’t until after class that some kid asked me what happened to my hair that I found out about the missing chunk.”
“So that’s why you cut your hair shorter?” Vaughn said touching Sydneys hair.
“Yup.” Sydney said shaking her head. “I swear I wanted to kill that kid.”
“How traumatizing.” Nadia said not able to hold her laughter back.
“Okay Nadia, your turn.” Vaughn announced.
“No!”
“We all did it Nadia” Sydney said raising her eyebrows.
“So you have to too.” Weiss said nodding his head.
“That’s your fault you did, not mine!” Nadia said before receiving looks from everyone. “Fine…” she mumbled giving in.
“I didn’t go to college so you’ll have to settle with another story.” Nadia explained as she set her self up for embarrassment. “I was at a café one night and there was this guy who had been sending me looks all night. So finally I went over and sat near him.” Nadia paused looking at Weiss, “Oh stop being jealous.” She said rolling her eyes. “and I sat down backwards on this chair putting my leg though the bars, because I thought I looked hot or something.” Nadia rolled her eyes.
“I’m Sure you did.” Weiss said with a wink.
“We started talking and he eventually offered to take me out for something to eat. But when I attempted to stand up, my leg was stuck… and it took me like ten minutes to get it out, needless to say something suddenly came up and he had to leave.”
Sydney laughed, “How much did that kill your self confidence?”
“Oh God, I don’t think I flirted for like a year.” Nadia said with a laugh.
“Well know what I think.” Sydney said standing up.
“What is that?” Vaughn asked.
“I think we need to go out, and get very very drunk.”
“So we can make even worse fools of ourselves?” Nadia asked raising an eyebrow.
“No, so I don’t have to remember that shirt Vaughn wore.”
“Good plan!” Vaughn agreed.
“We’re with you on that!” Weiss said standing up.
“And just so everyone knows, these stories do not leave this room.” Nadia confirmed as everyone headed for the door.
“It’s a deal.” Everyone responded.
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A/N- As usual I’d appreciate any reviews you’d be kind enough to leave me. - Also check out my other fiction Restoring a Family if you're interested!
Disclaimer: No I don’t own alias.
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“We are in Buenos Aries for not even 2 hours and we can’t find one thing to do?” Vaughn said taking another sip of his beer.
“It’s sad. We’re lost when we’re not working.” Sydney said taking the beer bottle from him and taking a sip quickly before returning it.
“We spend forever working on all of us getting away from work and we end up sitting around in Nadia’s friends living room while they’re away. It’s just what I always imagined a vacation would be like.” Weiss said sarcastically.
“Well it’s too late for the beach, how about a movie?” Nadia suggested handing Sydney a beer and sitting next to Weiss.
“Seen all of them.” Weiss said quickly.
“No you haven’t” Nadia argued.
“You were with me!” Weiss reminded her with a laugh.
“Oh… on our dates? Well you didn’t actually SEE those movies.”
“Thanks for the visual!” Sydney said with a laugh throwing the pillow she had been holding on her lap across the coffee table at her sister.
“Oh come on. Like you two haven’t made out at a theater before!” Weiss said rolling his eyes. “That’s why I stopped going with you to the movies!”
“No we haven’t. At least not with you there.” Sydney argued.
“Well there was the time we went to see Jersey girl at your request, and you got bored five minutes into the movie.” Vaughn said looking over at her with a smirk.
“Oh yeah… well that was just a bad movie. We had nothing better to do.”
“So I had to watch you make out!”
“You didn’t have to watch.” Vaughn said with a laugh.
“Well there is a bookstore place that has live musicians on weekends, they usually suck though.”
Vaughn started to laugh and soon Sydney caught on to the joke and started laughing with him.
“What’s so funny?” Nadia asked confused.
“Oh s***.” Weiss mumbled as Vaughn stopped laughing so he could start his story.
“There was this time in college Weiss liked this girl.”
Weiss cut in, “Mainly I made a fool of myself trying to play guitar on stage to impress her. End of story.” Weiss said hastily.
“Oh and did you get this girl?” Nadia asked with raised eyebrows.
“The ugly sl** was nothing compared to you Nads.”
Nadia laughed, “I love how all your ex’s have some problem and I seem to have none.”
“Amazing isn’t it?” Weiss said leaning over and kissing Nadia.
“Come on Nads he’s just trying to get you into bed!” Sydney yelled with a laugh.
“Suck up.” Vaughn said as Weiss sat back up.
“A kiss is the upper persuasion for a lower invasion.” Weiss announced as if he were reading Shakespeare causing Sydney and Nadia to roll their eyes as Vaughn and Weiss laughed.
“So Weiss and you went to college together right?”
“Yeah.” Vaughn said putting his beer down on the table.
“What other stupid thing did he do?” Nadia asked with a menacing look.
“I don’t think so.” Vaughn said with a shake of his head.
“Why not!”
“Because, he has stuff on me.” Vaughn said with a smile.
“You got that right.” Weiss said smirking.
“Oh come on guys.” Sydney started, moving closer to Vaughn and wrapping her arm around his waist.
“Just a few stories.” Nadia finished doing the same thing to Weiss.
“They have us around their fingers.” Vaughn said with a sigh.
“You got that right.” Weiss repeated.
“But still…” Vaughn said pretending he wasn’t going to do it.
“Weiss, you tell us stories, and you can have a date of you choice, eat at what ever crappy restaurant you like, any movie, and I’ll pay.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
Nadia laughed taking out her cell phone, “I’ll do better.”
Dialing Weiss’s home phone she explained she would leave a message promising a date of his choice.
After five rings the answering machine picked up and Nadia laughed at the new message Weiss had put on it.
“Hi you've reached the home of Eric Weiss and Alan the dog, also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP)”
Nadia quickly left the message and Vaughn sighed.
“Dude, you’re betraying me for a date.” He slowly shook his head as if in disappointment.
“Same goes for you Mr.” Sydney said resting her chin on Vaughn’s shoulder.
“I don’t want a date with Nadia!” He said in pretend disgust.
Sydney laughed hitting his arm.
“Oh I feel so loved.” Nadia said pretending to act hurt.
“You aren’t” Sydney confirmed causing Nadia laugh.
“So where do I start…” Weiss said as if he had so many stories he couldn’t decide what to start off with. In truth he knew exactly what one.
“Well…” Weiss said drawing the word out as Vaughn sat back preparing himself for what was to come.
“It was our freshman year, and know those fast food joints that you have to be desperate to work at? The ones with everyone in bad uniforms?”
“You worked at one of those?” Sydney asked turning to Vaughn.
“Not only did this man work at one, he was manager.” Weiss explained mockingly.
“Meaning my uniform was even worse than everyone else’s.”
“What was it?” Nadia asked looking over at Weiss.
“I could explain, but words don’t justify this uniform.” Weiss said standing up and walking over to his briefcase.
“Dude, what you getting?” Vaughn said suddenly tense.
Weiss just smiled taking something out of an envelope and walking over showing it to Nadia before she burst out laughing.
“How long exactly have you been carrying that around waiting to tell this?” Vaughn asked in shock.
“Since I took it.” Weiss said as if nothing was wrong with that.
“Let me see!” Sydney said holding her hand out for the picture.
“Are you sure Syd? I mean, you’ll lose all respect for the man sitting next to you.”
“Come on, it can’t be that bad!”
Nadia shrugged handing the picture over. Sydney looked at it biting her lip. The picture showed a young college Vaughn with bright red pants, a bright blue and red-stripped shirt and to top it off a hamburger hat.
“The shirt was actually blindingly shinny in person.” Weiss added just to make it all that much worse for Vaughn.
“We ended up boycotting the uniforms eventually.” Vaughn said attempting to save some of his pride.
“This your mom?” Sydney asked pointing to the woman standing next to Vaughn in the picture and smiling.
“Yeah…” Vaughn said suddenly smirking.
“Oh s***.” Weiss said covering his face for a second in his hands.
“What! What!” Sydney and Nadia prompted.
“Well, it was sophomore year and I was hanging out with Weiss in our dorm one night.” Vaughn started off trying not to laugh. “I had a little phone book-”
“Did this little book happen to be black?” Nadia asked with a smirk cutting Vaughn off.
“No, it wasn’t-”
“Vaughn didn’t know girls in college.” Weiss said cutting Vaughn off again.
“Dude, shut up.” Vaughn said rolling his eyes. “But Weiss was flipping though it because he may have had a little too much to drink. When I was in the other room Weiss decided to call a random person in the book, under the name Clarissa Maria V.” Vaughn took a deep breath shaking his head at what he was about to say. “He gets the answering machine and he decides to leave a message. This was when I walked back in the room, and I just figured he was calling one of his friends or something. After the beep he says “Hey sexy, I’m naked, what are you up to? Well have a nice day.” Then he hangs up. I of course started cracking up and then he asks me who Clarissa is, and…”
“And Vaughn stops laughing and goes ghost white.” Weiss mumbled his head down.
“Who was it?” Nadia asked already laughing.
“My mom.” Vaughn said shaking his head.
“Who the hell doesn’t just write mom!” Weiss says as Sydney and Nadia begin laughing so hard their eyes watered.
“Me.” Vaughn answered simply.
“Did she know who it was?” Sydney asked once she was able to clam down.
“No. But she did call me that night telling me she got a disturbing message on her answering machine.”
“Your poor mother!” Nadia said with a laugh.
“Thank god it was before caller ID.” Vaughn said shaking his head.
Nadia took Weiss’s beer away as he went to take another sip.
“I don’t think you need anymore of this, we don’t want you to accidentally call someone.” Nadia said in a teasing voice before taking a sip of his beer.
“You all suck.” Weiss said whiningly.
“Aww poor baby.” Sydney said mocking him.
“What about you Syd? Any embarrassing college stories?” Vaughn said feeling a bit bad for his friend.
“No way, no problems in college here.”
“Oh come on Syd, I’m sure there were.” Nadia said leaning forward.
“College wasn’t very exciting for me, the highlight of my college years was when my dorm got a salad bar.”
“Exciting Syd.” Nadia said rolling her eyes.
“She’s lying.” Vaughn said in a sure voice.
“No I’m not!” Sydney yelled suddenly defensive.
“Come on Sydney, tell us.”
“Well…” Sydney said with a sigh. “When I was in college I had long hair… I was baby sitting for a friend one night and the little girl got a hold of scissors… With out me knowing she cut out a chuck of my hair, a little shorter than my shoulders, from the back of my head.” Sydney paused. “The next day I had an oral presentation in one of my classes and I had worn my hair down instead of the normal pony tail. When I turned around to write on the board half of the class started laughing. It wasn’t until after class that some kid asked me what happened to my hair that I found out about the missing chunk.”
“So that’s why you cut your hair shorter?” Vaughn said touching Sydneys hair.
“Yup.” Sydney said shaking her head. “I swear I wanted to kill that kid.”
“How traumatizing.” Nadia said not able to hold her laughter back.
“Okay Nadia, your turn.” Vaughn announced.
“No!”
“We all did it Nadia” Sydney said raising her eyebrows.
“So you have to too.” Weiss said nodding his head.
“That’s your fault you did, not mine!” Nadia said before receiving looks from everyone. “Fine…” she mumbled giving in.
“I didn’t go to college so you’ll have to settle with another story.” Nadia explained as she set her self up for embarrassment. “I was at a café one night and there was this guy who had been sending me looks all night. So finally I went over and sat near him.” Nadia paused looking at Weiss, “Oh stop being jealous.” She said rolling her eyes. “and I sat down backwards on this chair putting my leg though the bars, because I thought I looked hot or something.” Nadia rolled her eyes.
“I’m Sure you did.” Weiss said with a wink.
“We started talking and he eventually offered to take me out for something to eat. But when I attempted to stand up, my leg was stuck… and it took me like ten minutes to get it out, needless to say something suddenly came up and he had to leave.”
Sydney laughed, “How much did that kill your self confidence?”
“Oh God, I don’t think I flirted for like a year.” Nadia said with a laugh.
“Well know what I think.” Sydney said standing up.
“What is that?” Vaughn asked.
“I think we need to go out, and get very very drunk.”
“So we can make even worse fools of ourselves?” Nadia asked raising an eyebrow.
“No, so I don’t have to remember that shirt Vaughn wore.”
“Good plan!” Vaughn agreed.
“We’re with you on that!” Weiss said standing up.
“And just so everyone knows, these stories do not leave this room.” Nadia confirmed as everyone headed for the door.
“It’s a deal.” Everyone responded.
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A/N- As usual I’d appreciate any reviews you’d be kind enough to leave me. - Also check out my other fiction Restoring a Family if you're interested!
lol if theres more can i get a pm please?
