anyaherrera
Cadet
Title: Tomorrow I'll be Yours
Author: anyaherrera; Carolina; Anecas; Spy!Necas; The Good Twin (yep, all me).
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "We've waited long enough."
Disclaimer: Damn, you caught me. Yeah, I own Alias and Michael Vaughn. I keep him under my bed and he comes out every single night. I only share him with my sistas, but they're often busy with Ian Sumerhalder and Jude Law.
Author's note: This fic occurs during season 2 but it will be Alternate Universe, just imagine the fight on the episode 'Getaway', that's the only thing that actually happened on this story.
Dedication: To Inês.(inethitah) This is my Christmas present to you. Hope you like it! It was written from the heart.
Thank you: Cat my so-so twin (catpin)who unbelievably puts up with me, Carlinha (C4ss) for doing my english work while I was writing this in that same class.
Tomorrow I’ll be yours
(Vaughn’s point of view)
Many may think that a relationship is formed coming from the things that two individuals have in common. I have to say I don’t disagree, but I do agree with the fact that the things they do not have in common, complements them. Their qualities and flaws are what its worth in their relationship. They fight, they yell, but those two people will always forgive each other. Because if they don’t, they shall always regret that mislead course of action.
Actions, words, and feelings all of these in one sentence. Actions we take and don’t feel proud of, words you pronounce that were not meant to be spoken, feelings that are impossible to feel. The sentence was made, decided and spoken. The world fell and the emotions took over. This was the effect she had on me.
All this because it was my judgment call, I made the wrong move and have to live with the consequences, or not. This is why I am here, in this same warehouse where we had our first discussion.
I owe her an apology, one that has been on my mind since the moment she left. That was two hours ago. Now I see the true meaning of the saying ‘we don’t apologize we avoid the apologies.’
This shouldn’t matter to me, shouldn’t be difficult to be mad at her. After all she’s just my asset, means nothing more to me. Our relationship is purely professional. Or is it really? Should a handler not sleep at night when his asset is on a mission? Should a professional handler not offer his help, his comprehension to the agent he is handling? Should a real handler do not feel connected to his asset and co-worker?
Should a handler be in love with his asset?
I don’t think so, but yet that is exactly what I feel about Sydney. I’m in love with her, and it is not like high school love or a simple crush, with her I can go to places I never thought of going before, with her those silly assumptions of marriage love and kids seem somewhat real, because that’s what I want.
But it’s impossible to have the impossible isn’t it?
Maybe impossible is a declaration you have for those things you will not fight for, those dreams you have but you say they’re impossible because you can’t make them true. I say that having Sydney return my love it’s impossible but it shouldn’t be and maybe it won’t be. Because I have made up my mind, I’m, going to fight for her, I am going to win her over, it may take years or even all my life but I’ll let her know how I feel about her.
Feelings, a word, a name even an emotion, above all an emotion and why? Because it makes us see through, it makes the room grow lighter, it makes the heart speak and the soul reflects those same feelings.
Why should I not let my heart speak, my room get lighter and my soul reflect the way I feel? Maybe because I am too stubborn to admit to myself that I love Sydney. I think that I am being irrational but I am letting my rational side to sub exist.
Those who say that feeling something is to be irrational do not know the meaning of love that is why they are called insensitive.
I am not insensitive, I hurt when Sydney hurts, when she’s in danger I am capable of turning the world upside down to save her. When I’m with her everything makes sense, she’s my thought of love and I want to think about her every single minute of my life.
I know that I am overanalysing this, but if don’t, who will?
(Sydney’s Point of View)
This is wrong, so wrong. Why am I here again? God, this is so frustrating, I never felt this way. It’s like a bug eating me on the inside, I wasn’t that bad, and I didn’t even offend him right? Then why do I feel like I’ve just been hit by trunk just because I didn’t agree with him? Why should I be worried about what he thinks of me after what I said? I don’t know.
Or maybe I do. Maybe I am afraid of that answer because it might change everything. I don’t know if I feel friendship, love, hate, I just don’t know. I should, but I don’t. Normally when you look you find, but then sometimes the answer comes right after you when you’re not looking. It’s relative to those who believe and those who don’t, but that’s the point, the decision; it’s the hope, the faith itself that matters to that same answer.
I should wait but then again I don’t want to, I want the answer to come right of its probability, in that moment, I would believe.
That’s never going to happen; it’s like believing in an explanation for love.
When there is no such thing. Why do we try and define love when love is undefined itself?
We search for this justification for loving someone, for caring for someone when there’s just no explanation. You love because you do, you care because you do, there shouldn’t be a question like why in the middle of it! It’s like asking a mother why she loves her daughter.
You don’t know how or why you love, you just simply do.
Sometimes you wonder which moments are going to be kept forever in your mind, maybe it will be those same moments you’ll remember while on the bus home, as you see the lights flash back you remember how it was, how it felt. It was so unbelievable, it felt so right but then the moment went away and you kept the memory. I have those moments all the time when I’m with Michael Vaughn. There are times that I wish I could just throw him into that fence and do things that are only possible in my head, but then a word or a gesture takes that all away.
As fast as it comes, it goes away.
Never in my mind I would I’ve thought that I could be so not rationally in love like this, its earth shattering this feeling that emanates from me when I am with him and the strange thing is that I am the only one who feels it.
I am obliged to put my thoughts back as I step inside the warehouse, the place where I had previously one of my most regretful arguments.
I walk towards the fence link and it’s then that I see him.
Vaughn.
(End of Sydney’s point of view)
They look away trying to deny the magic that came across them the moment they saw each other. He passes as if doing it would change her being there.
She coughs and decides to speak.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t know you would be here.” She apologizes not really feeling the need to.
“No, its ok I was just leaving anyway.” He lies searching for a reason to leave and he finds none.
“Actually I needed to talk to you.” She declares.
“I thought we made that clear, that we didn’t need to discuss anything besides work, so if you’re here trying to find some comfort Agent Bristow you should turn around and go away because you are not going to find what you’re looking for.”
He knows he was harsh but she had asked for it.
She thinks about her answer, and not really having sure of what she is about to do she looks at him in the eye and says the most appropriate thing.
“I think we got that sorted it out, Goodnight Agent Vaughn.” She’s emotionless and painless, she feels numb like the world holds her and won’t let her fall. She ruined it and now there’s not turning back.
She leaves the warehouse and the tears begin to fall, there’s no hope, no battle to win or to loose, there is just no warrior. What can she do now?
And then she realizes that not everything is lost.
(Vaughn’s point of view)
There’s not line being broken, there’s no protocol to be damned, I just ruined all of my chances with her. But why do I even think that I had a chance? Obviously she didn’t have that in mind.
What can I do now?
It is like swimming in a river of optimism and watching the negative side fall inside your soul. Why do I try and deny a feeling that has marked its presence in my heart? I love here, without fear, egoism and boastfulness. I love her with hope, charisma and delightfulness.
What should I do?
What do I want to do?
[TBC?]
Author: anyaherrera; Carolina; Anecas; Spy!Necas; The Good Twin (yep, all me).
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "We've waited long enough."
Disclaimer: Damn, you caught me. Yeah, I own Alias and Michael Vaughn. I keep him under my bed and he comes out every single night. I only share him with my sistas, but they're often busy with Ian Sumerhalder and Jude Law.
Author's note: This fic occurs during season 2 but it will be Alternate Universe, just imagine the fight on the episode 'Getaway', that's the only thing that actually happened on this story.
Dedication: To Inês.(inethitah) This is my Christmas present to you. Hope you like it! It was written from the heart.
Thank you: Cat my so-so twin (catpin)who unbelievably puts up with me, Carlinha (C4ss) for doing my english work while I was writing this in that same class.
Tomorrow I’ll be yours
(Vaughn’s point of view)
Many may think that a relationship is formed coming from the things that two individuals have in common. I have to say I don’t disagree, but I do agree with the fact that the things they do not have in common, complements them. Their qualities and flaws are what its worth in their relationship. They fight, they yell, but those two people will always forgive each other. Because if they don’t, they shall always regret that mislead course of action.
Actions, words, and feelings all of these in one sentence. Actions we take and don’t feel proud of, words you pronounce that were not meant to be spoken, feelings that are impossible to feel. The sentence was made, decided and spoken. The world fell and the emotions took over. This was the effect she had on me.
All this because it was my judgment call, I made the wrong move and have to live with the consequences, or not. This is why I am here, in this same warehouse where we had our first discussion.
I owe her an apology, one that has been on my mind since the moment she left. That was two hours ago. Now I see the true meaning of the saying ‘we don’t apologize we avoid the apologies.’
This shouldn’t matter to me, shouldn’t be difficult to be mad at her. After all she’s just my asset, means nothing more to me. Our relationship is purely professional. Or is it really? Should a handler not sleep at night when his asset is on a mission? Should a professional handler not offer his help, his comprehension to the agent he is handling? Should a real handler do not feel connected to his asset and co-worker?
Should a handler be in love with his asset?
I don’t think so, but yet that is exactly what I feel about Sydney. I’m in love with her, and it is not like high school love or a simple crush, with her I can go to places I never thought of going before, with her those silly assumptions of marriage love and kids seem somewhat real, because that’s what I want.
But it’s impossible to have the impossible isn’t it?
Maybe impossible is a declaration you have for those things you will not fight for, those dreams you have but you say they’re impossible because you can’t make them true. I say that having Sydney return my love it’s impossible but it shouldn’t be and maybe it won’t be. Because I have made up my mind, I’m, going to fight for her, I am going to win her over, it may take years or even all my life but I’ll let her know how I feel about her.
Feelings, a word, a name even an emotion, above all an emotion and why? Because it makes us see through, it makes the room grow lighter, it makes the heart speak and the soul reflects those same feelings.
Why should I not let my heart speak, my room get lighter and my soul reflect the way I feel? Maybe because I am too stubborn to admit to myself that I love Sydney. I think that I am being irrational but I am letting my rational side to sub exist.
Those who say that feeling something is to be irrational do not know the meaning of love that is why they are called insensitive.
I am not insensitive, I hurt when Sydney hurts, when she’s in danger I am capable of turning the world upside down to save her. When I’m with her everything makes sense, she’s my thought of love and I want to think about her every single minute of my life.
I know that I am overanalysing this, but if don’t, who will?
(Sydney’s Point of View)
This is wrong, so wrong. Why am I here again? God, this is so frustrating, I never felt this way. It’s like a bug eating me on the inside, I wasn’t that bad, and I didn’t even offend him right? Then why do I feel like I’ve just been hit by trunk just because I didn’t agree with him? Why should I be worried about what he thinks of me after what I said? I don’t know.
Or maybe I do. Maybe I am afraid of that answer because it might change everything. I don’t know if I feel friendship, love, hate, I just don’t know. I should, but I don’t. Normally when you look you find, but then sometimes the answer comes right after you when you’re not looking. It’s relative to those who believe and those who don’t, but that’s the point, the decision; it’s the hope, the faith itself that matters to that same answer.
I should wait but then again I don’t want to, I want the answer to come right of its probability, in that moment, I would believe.
That’s never going to happen; it’s like believing in an explanation for love.
When there is no such thing. Why do we try and define love when love is undefined itself?
We search for this justification for loving someone, for caring for someone when there’s just no explanation. You love because you do, you care because you do, there shouldn’t be a question like why in the middle of it! It’s like asking a mother why she loves her daughter.
You don’t know how or why you love, you just simply do.
Sometimes you wonder which moments are going to be kept forever in your mind, maybe it will be those same moments you’ll remember while on the bus home, as you see the lights flash back you remember how it was, how it felt. It was so unbelievable, it felt so right but then the moment went away and you kept the memory. I have those moments all the time when I’m with Michael Vaughn. There are times that I wish I could just throw him into that fence and do things that are only possible in my head, but then a word or a gesture takes that all away.
As fast as it comes, it goes away.
Never in my mind I would I’ve thought that I could be so not rationally in love like this, its earth shattering this feeling that emanates from me when I am with him and the strange thing is that I am the only one who feels it.
I am obliged to put my thoughts back as I step inside the warehouse, the place where I had previously one of my most regretful arguments.
I walk towards the fence link and it’s then that I see him.
Vaughn.
(End of Sydney’s point of view)
They look away trying to deny the magic that came across them the moment they saw each other. He passes as if doing it would change her being there.
She coughs and decides to speak.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t know you would be here.” She apologizes not really feeling the need to.
“No, its ok I was just leaving anyway.” He lies searching for a reason to leave and he finds none.
“Actually I needed to talk to you.” She declares.
“I thought we made that clear, that we didn’t need to discuss anything besides work, so if you’re here trying to find some comfort Agent Bristow you should turn around and go away because you are not going to find what you’re looking for.”
He knows he was harsh but she had asked for it.
She thinks about her answer, and not really having sure of what she is about to do she looks at him in the eye and says the most appropriate thing.
“I think we got that sorted it out, Goodnight Agent Vaughn.” She’s emotionless and painless, she feels numb like the world holds her and won’t let her fall. She ruined it and now there’s not turning back.
She leaves the warehouse and the tears begin to fall, there’s no hope, no battle to win or to loose, there is just no warrior. What can she do now?
And then she realizes that not everything is lost.
(Vaughn’s point of view)
There’s not line being broken, there’s no protocol to be damned, I just ruined all of my chances with her. But why do I even think that I had a chance? Obviously she didn’t have that in mind.
What can I do now?
It is like swimming in a river of optimism and watching the negative side fall inside your soul. Why do I try and deny a feeling that has marked its presence in my heart? I love here, without fear, egoism and boastfulness. I love her with hope, charisma and delightfulness.
What should I do?
What do I want to do?
[TBC?]
you have to! come on!
