Ummm, About Santa Claus...


An Old Friend
Dec 6, 2004
Gulf Coast
Is there a Santa Claus?


1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second; a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.



StarGate Explorer
Apr 3, 2014
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
And that's what 'Human' science would make you think - But the Santa Phenomena is not of Human origin.

Santa is a species of interdimensional alien that even your quantum physics would have a tough time

Suffice it to say that all the anomalies of the Santa mythology that you have pointed out and the
impossibility of a satisfactory delivery and delivery schedule can be explained by Santa's ability
to travel interdimensionally,

Further, several days before the Human holiday of Christmas Santa begins creating a multi-dimensional
projection of himself and his favorite pet reindeer {remember though the reindeer look ordinary they
are anything but - Actually they are self replicating android robots driven by Warp Quantum drive
mainframes with faster than light speed travel capability - It's complicated!

So don't be a grinch - Accept the multiverse and all its wonders - And remember to hang out
a clean stocking for Santa to reward you - Santa hates dirty socks and will only reward clean

So the next time you see a UFO remember it may be nothing more than Santa testing his
vehicle - The Interdimensional Sleigh with quantum drive reindeer!

{It's Okay To Be Smart
“ Santa Claus Visits The Moon Base, detail from cover of December 1954 Galaxy Science}


StarGate Explorer
Apr 3, 2014
I'm sure of one thing - that extra arm was not there when I posted that picture!

Face it the quantum universe and parallel dimensions are more than science fiction.

It has also been rumored that the fat Santa image is done for publicity - The real Santa is
a superhero that looks like this:
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