vaughns journal

IluvVaughn13

Vaughnster's Girl
sunday january 28th 2003,

I wanted to start this journal because the days go bye so fast I just wanted to remember them. The other day was kinda of crazy. woke up with the rain pounding outside my window my alarm clock was screaming in my ear, I felt horrible. I slowly walked to the bathroom to take a nice warm shower, I usually feel ok after but I still felt horrible.

I walked outside and felt the cold rain hit my face, I made me feel somewhat better.As I reached the CIA building I saw the most wonderful person walk by. Sydney was always dressed in a nice black suit, she looked amazing in what ever she put on. I stepped out of the car and ran up to her.

She smiled as I came up to her. She asked me how I was feeling, I told her that I was fine, even thought I wasnt. We walked in together just as weiss ran up to us and told us we were late for a meeting. Kendall was passing out pictures of a rambaldi manuscript that Sloane is after, he wanted us to get it before he did.

My head was starting to hurt again and i felt like i was going to pass out. Syd looked at me with worry in her face. Her cold hand touched my head, I relaxed again. She asked if I was ok, I wanted her to think I was a tough guy so I told her I was fine. Then as everyone was leaving and I was just starting to exit through the door. I felt like I couldnt breathe, I felt my whole body hit the floor and then everything went black.

I hope you guys like this tell me what you think and if you want me to write more
 
Very good story but try not to start a sentecne and continue it after you hit enter a few times it kind of hard to read like that. I don't know if you understant what I'm trying to say but I'm just trying to help. It is a very good story and I hope you write more soon!

Kelli
 
This is a great start, and I'm definitely interested in more! You might want to capitalize your "I's" and check spelling. This story definitely has potential though! (y)
 
Huh?

Okay, the breaks in paragraph were really weird, I don't know if that was you or just how you copied and pasted. Also, try to be a little more descriptive. I know you're going for the mysterious side, but this is a little too mysterious.

~Me :angel2:
 
thanks everyone for your nice comments and great help i will be writing more tomorrow dont worry thanks for the tips.
 
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