Title: Wasted Time
Author: Lilspy
Summery: Sydney takes a break for the espionage life to deal with the loss of not only Vaughn, but of her child as she attempts to start fresh. Starting fresh, might mean clearing the way for unexpected feelings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Alias. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. ‘nuff said.
A/N: Hello world..
Suggested Listening: “Wasted Time” by the Eagles
Prologue: Wasted Time
A loud horn could be heard mixed in with a few cheers on the ship. I sat outside, wearing a flowing knee-length black skirt with a white low cut shirt, a black and white belt, and white high heels, on one of the upper decks to avoid people, but realized my mistake as a crowd of people sauntered onto the deck. This sun deck enclosed a pool that was at least 25 feet deep and 10 feet in diameter and a blue Jacuzzi. This pool and the Jacuzzi were in the center of everything. They were surrounded by a bar, a counter where food could be purchased, and, on the other side, a stage and some lounge chairs overlooking the waters. In between the lounge chairs and the food stand were 2 sets of stairs. By way of stairs, one could find, overhead, the uppermost desk or the next deck, down below.
As I ordered a Green Apple Smirnoff Ice from the bar, I watched the people enthusiastically dance to the Electric Slide near the stage. The setting sun painted the casino ship an assortment of romantic orange and reds. I headed up to the next deck, to find some peace and quiet while I continued to swallow my drink. The lengthy and nearly completely vertical stairs led me to a catwalk of sorts. On one side was the wall of the movie theater and on the other was the space above the attached lifeboats. I continued walking until I reached an area with more space to move. This part of the deck was filled with tables and plastic chairs but still left plenty of room for dancing and walking. Across from the area was the ship’s club- filled with lively people.
I glanced through the glass at the club as I walked over to the ship’s railing. On this deck the railing was backed by glass. I leaned on this railing, sipping the last of my drink. Up here the wind billowed my hair and my skirt the same way.
“You realize that’s bad for the baby.” A voice whispered into my ear.
I whipped my heard around, prepared to kill the person with my looks alone.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded to know.
“Is this how you deal with it? By doing this? Being here?” he evaded my question.
“I don’t need this.” I responded, turning around to stare at the Atlantic Ocean.
“It’s not healthy.” he persisted.
I gave a small chuckle. “You’re giving me advise on what’s healthy, what’s right? Last time I checked, your morality wasn’t exactly up to par.”
He smirked at this.
“Excuse me, can I have a Long Island Iced Tea please?” I asked a passing waiter, placing my cup onto his tray.
“Sure, Miss, coming right up.” he replied, walking towards the club.
“You didn’t answer my question.” I reminded him.
“Honestly?” he began, leaning on the railing. “I’m on vacation.”
“Of course you are. You just also happen to be vacationing all the way across the country on a casino ship in Fort Lauderdale, the same exact time that I am.” I retorted in a disbelieving voice.
“It could be a coincidence,” he persisted. “Hell, you’ve been on this ship now for 5 months. You know the names of the workers. They know your name. It’s ridiculous. You can‘t deal with your baby’s death this way.”
“Shut up!” I demanded, turning to him. “And they don‘t know my real name, they known an alias.”
“Excuse me, here’s your drink.” a waiter handed me.
“Thank you.” I thanked him as he walked away.
I took large swigs on the drink before continuing.
“You have no clue what I’m going through, okay?”
“I know there are many women out there who have gone through it and they don’t deal with it by running away! All these people out here who want to take down the Great Sydney Bristow, and it turns out, she’ll be undone by her own doing.” I watched as Sark walked away.
~~~3 hours later~~~
I slumped onto a chair, my vision blurring after 5 Long Island Iced Teas and 3 Green Apple Smirnoff Ices.
“Stairs,” I reminded myself. I struggled to stand before I slowly headed to the catwalk. Once I was there I held onto the railing with a death grip as I crossed it. I had made it down the first step of the stairs before I nearly fell. I grabbed onto the railing as unconsciousness threatened to overcome me. I glanced at the rest of the stairs like one glances at an immediate 1,000 foot drop. I whimpered and reached for the handrail and some footing below me. Instead I found myself flat on my ass with no progress whatsoever. I leaned against the arm rail, crying softly.
Well baby, there you stand
With your little head, down in your hand
Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening
again
Your baby's gone, and you're all alone
and it looks like the end.
I felt arms slip underneath my shoulders and pull me up.
“Baby Steps.” they reminded me, “and watch the suit.”
I leaned onto them for support as I took the wobbly steps needed to reach the other side of the crosswalk. When I passed by a chair, I slumped down onto it and contently closed me eyes. I opened my eyes, when someone ordered me to drink something. I glanced at it- Club soda with lime and bitters.
“No.” I whispered.
“Drink it.” They insisted.
I sat up and took a few swallows before I pushed it away. “No, that.. No.”
I laid my head on my arm as I prepared to sleep again. “Just… let me sleep. I’ll be okay if I just get some sleep.”
As I closed my eyes, I felt them trace the outline of my face.
And you're back out on the street.
And you're tryin' to remember.
How will you start it over?
You don't know what became.
You don't care much for a stranger's touch,
But you can't hold your man.
Sometime later the voice called out again. “Let’s go.”
I leaned onto to them as they helped me downstairs to my cabin. However, before we had even reached halfway I had destroyed their suit with the remenants of what I had consumed that day.
~~~The next day~~~
I looked over expectantly, eager to see Vaughn, but instead I found no one. He’s gone I reminded myself staring down at my belly, and so is any evidence that he ever existed. Tears slid silently down my cheeks.
You never thought you'd be alone this far
down the line
And I know what's been on your mind
You're afraid it's all been wasted time
With a sigh, I rolled over to stare at the clock. 2:25 PM. I sat up, attempting to force any thought of Vaughn or my lost child out of my mind. The thoughts, the warnings from the beginning about dating him, loving him.
The autumn leaves have got you thinking
about the first time that you fell
You didn't love the boy too much, no, no
you just loved the boy to well, Farewell
“Dear Miss Bristow,
I saw you last night on the stairs and brought you back here after getting some guidance form the help. Hopefully, with that thought you can sleep easily without wondering what you might have done with some stranger last night. Be careful, if the workers realize what’s going on, they might not allow you to continually stay on their ship. You can thank me later. By the way, you owe me a suit.
I‘m sure I‘ll find some use of this situation later,
Sark”
And now I was one of the many unfortunate souls who was indebted to Sark.
So you live from day to day, and you dream
about tomorrow, oh.
And the hours go by like minutes
and the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something to
make them go away
No, I insisted. Today is a new day. So, while still wearing my clothes from yesterday, I forced a smile on my face and stepped outside. Walking by my cabin was a woman who was laughing with her husband and holding her child. With a sigh, I turned back into my room and closed the door.
And I could have done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind from wondrin' what
I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time
I took a shower and changing into blue shorts and a white tank top. I pulled on blue and white Nikes and pulled my hair into a ponytail. You can do this. All you have to do is make it a learning experience. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. All of this, it wasn’t wasted time. I would not let this be my undoing.
Ooh, another love has come and gone
Ooh, and the years keep rushing on
I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:
"Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can
get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find , that it wasn't really
wasted time
Mm,hm
Oh hoo, ooh, ohh,
Ooh,ooh, mm
I took a deep breath and pocketed the keys to my cabin in my shorts and headed off to the gym.
---Dixon’s POV---
I sighed, holding my head in my hands as I was briefed by Jack on yet another failed mission with one of our new recruits.
“We need you to get better Sydney.” I whispered.
A/N: Questions? Comments…. Don’t be afraid to flame … it makes my writing better.
Author: Lilspy
Summery: Sydney takes a break for the espionage life to deal with the loss of not only Vaughn, but of her child as she attempts to start fresh. Starting fresh, might mean clearing the way for unexpected feelings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Alias. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. ‘nuff said.
A/N: Hello world..
Suggested Listening: “Wasted Time” by the Eagles
Prologue: Wasted Time
A loud horn could be heard mixed in with a few cheers on the ship. I sat outside, wearing a flowing knee-length black skirt with a white low cut shirt, a black and white belt, and white high heels, on one of the upper decks to avoid people, but realized my mistake as a crowd of people sauntered onto the deck. This sun deck enclosed a pool that was at least 25 feet deep and 10 feet in diameter and a blue Jacuzzi. This pool and the Jacuzzi were in the center of everything. They were surrounded by a bar, a counter where food could be purchased, and, on the other side, a stage and some lounge chairs overlooking the waters. In between the lounge chairs and the food stand were 2 sets of stairs. By way of stairs, one could find, overhead, the uppermost desk or the next deck, down below.
As I ordered a Green Apple Smirnoff Ice from the bar, I watched the people enthusiastically dance to the Electric Slide near the stage. The setting sun painted the casino ship an assortment of romantic orange and reds. I headed up to the next deck, to find some peace and quiet while I continued to swallow my drink. The lengthy and nearly completely vertical stairs led me to a catwalk of sorts. On one side was the wall of the movie theater and on the other was the space above the attached lifeboats. I continued walking until I reached an area with more space to move. This part of the deck was filled with tables and plastic chairs but still left plenty of room for dancing and walking. Across from the area was the ship’s club- filled with lively people.
I glanced through the glass at the club as I walked over to the ship’s railing. On this deck the railing was backed by glass. I leaned on this railing, sipping the last of my drink. Up here the wind billowed my hair and my skirt the same way.
“You realize that’s bad for the baby.” A voice whispered into my ear.
I whipped my heard around, prepared to kill the person with my looks alone.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded to know.
“Is this how you deal with it? By doing this? Being here?” he evaded my question.
“I don’t need this.” I responded, turning around to stare at the Atlantic Ocean.
“It’s not healthy.” he persisted.
I gave a small chuckle. “You’re giving me advise on what’s healthy, what’s right? Last time I checked, your morality wasn’t exactly up to par.”
He smirked at this.
“Excuse me, can I have a Long Island Iced Tea please?” I asked a passing waiter, placing my cup onto his tray.
“Sure, Miss, coming right up.” he replied, walking towards the club.
“You didn’t answer my question.” I reminded him.
“Honestly?” he began, leaning on the railing. “I’m on vacation.”
“Of course you are. You just also happen to be vacationing all the way across the country on a casino ship in Fort Lauderdale, the same exact time that I am.” I retorted in a disbelieving voice.
“It could be a coincidence,” he persisted. “Hell, you’ve been on this ship now for 5 months. You know the names of the workers. They know your name. It’s ridiculous. You can‘t deal with your baby’s death this way.”
“Shut up!” I demanded, turning to him. “And they don‘t know my real name, they known an alias.”
“Excuse me, here’s your drink.” a waiter handed me.
“Thank you.” I thanked him as he walked away.
I took large swigs on the drink before continuing.
“You have no clue what I’m going through, okay?”
“I know there are many women out there who have gone through it and they don’t deal with it by running away! All these people out here who want to take down the Great Sydney Bristow, and it turns out, she’ll be undone by her own doing.” I watched as Sark walked away.
~~~3 hours later~~~
I slumped onto a chair, my vision blurring after 5 Long Island Iced Teas and 3 Green Apple Smirnoff Ices.
“Stairs,” I reminded myself. I struggled to stand before I slowly headed to the catwalk. Once I was there I held onto the railing with a death grip as I crossed it. I had made it down the first step of the stairs before I nearly fell. I grabbed onto the railing as unconsciousness threatened to overcome me. I glanced at the rest of the stairs like one glances at an immediate 1,000 foot drop. I whimpered and reached for the handrail and some footing below me. Instead I found myself flat on my ass with no progress whatsoever. I leaned against the arm rail, crying softly.
Well baby, there you stand
With your little head, down in your hand
Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening
again
Your baby's gone, and you're all alone
and it looks like the end.
I felt arms slip underneath my shoulders and pull me up.
“Baby Steps.” they reminded me, “and watch the suit.”
I leaned onto them for support as I took the wobbly steps needed to reach the other side of the crosswalk. When I passed by a chair, I slumped down onto it and contently closed me eyes. I opened my eyes, when someone ordered me to drink something. I glanced at it- Club soda with lime and bitters.
“No.” I whispered.
“Drink it.” They insisted.
I sat up and took a few swallows before I pushed it away. “No, that.. No.”
I laid my head on my arm as I prepared to sleep again. “Just… let me sleep. I’ll be okay if I just get some sleep.”
As I closed my eyes, I felt them trace the outline of my face.
And you're back out on the street.
And you're tryin' to remember.
How will you start it over?
You don't know what became.
You don't care much for a stranger's touch,
But you can't hold your man.
Sometime later the voice called out again. “Let’s go.”
I leaned onto to them as they helped me downstairs to my cabin. However, before we had even reached halfway I had destroyed their suit with the remenants of what I had consumed that day.
~~~The next day~~~
I looked over expectantly, eager to see Vaughn, but instead I found no one. He’s gone I reminded myself staring down at my belly, and so is any evidence that he ever existed. Tears slid silently down my cheeks.
You never thought you'd be alone this far
down the line
And I know what's been on your mind
You're afraid it's all been wasted time
With a sigh, I rolled over to stare at the clock. 2:25 PM. I sat up, attempting to force any thought of Vaughn or my lost child out of my mind. The thoughts, the warnings from the beginning about dating him, loving him.
The autumn leaves have got you thinking
about the first time that you fell
You didn't love the boy too much, no, no
you just loved the boy to well, Farewell
“Dear Miss Bristow,
I saw you last night on the stairs and brought you back here after getting some guidance form the help. Hopefully, with that thought you can sleep easily without wondering what you might have done with some stranger last night. Be careful, if the workers realize what’s going on, they might not allow you to continually stay on their ship. You can thank me later. By the way, you owe me a suit.
I‘m sure I‘ll find some use of this situation later,
Sark”
And now I was one of the many unfortunate souls who was indebted to Sark.
So you live from day to day, and you dream
about tomorrow, oh.
And the hours go by like minutes
and the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something to
make them go away
No, I insisted. Today is a new day. So, while still wearing my clothes from yesterday, I forced a smile on my face and stepped outside. Walking by my cabin was a woman who was laughing with her husband and holding her child. With a sigh, I turned back into my room and closed the door.
And I could have done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind from wondrin' what
I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time
I took a shower and changing into blue shorts and a white tank top. I pulled on blue and white Nikes and pulled my hair into a ponytail. You can do this. All you have to do is make it a learning experience. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. All of this, it wasn’t wasted time. I would not let this be my undoing.
Ooh, another love has come and gone
Ooh, and the years keep rushing on
I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:
"Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can
get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find , that it wasn't really
wasted time
Mm,hm
Oh hoo, ooh, ohh,
Ooh,ooh, mm
I took a deep breath and pocketed the keys to my cabin in my shorts and headed off to the gym.
---Dixon’s POV---
I sighed, holding my head in my hands as I was briefed by Jack on yet another failed mission with one of our new recruits.
“We need you to get better Sydney.” I whispered.
A/N: Questions? Comments…. Don’t be afraid to flame … it makes my writing better.