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Forever

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by kleverkitten, Apr 22, 2003.

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  1. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Okay, guys... this is my first one... :unsure: review, and remember, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM! Oh yeah, and I know it's kinda short, but...

    And, as always, I can only wish that I own these characters. Thank you to everyone involved in Alias (Bad Robot, etc...) for letting me borrow them. So, without further a do...



    The intensity in her eyes sought conflict within him. As much as he desperately wanted to kiss those tears away, he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to take her up in his arms, to tell her it would be okay, to tell her no matter what, he would love her...he couldn’t.

    To tell her that he would be there for her, for as long as she needed him.

    So he watched. He watched as she was torn to shreds, as the most painful scenes of her life flashed before her eyes, To watch her wince in pain as she was tortured, watch in horror as she realized she had been working for the enemy. Stare, pleading to the air in front of her to please, take the pain away.

    She writhed in guilt as she realized she has killed her lover, stiffened as she realized she would never see her mother again.

    And then he saw a look that he knew too well, The pleading, desperate look of horror as she banged on the thick, white door in Taipei. As she exhausted herself, desperately throwing the God damn fire extinguisher at the door. As she watched him fade away, away from her, away from life.


    Michael Vaughn awoke with a start. His palms were sweaty, and his entire body was chilled in fear. He looked to his left, and a wave of calm enveloped him, Sydney was safe. His Sydney, was right beside him. Where she would be, she should be.

    Forever.
     
  2. Aliasfan23

    Aliasfan23 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2003
    Location:
    LA
    AWWW!! Is that it? Keep going!
     
  3. Xtremelimits08

    Xtremelimits08 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Location:
    Cleveland
    This is great keep going!!!!!!!!!!!
    Where are they? or do i have to wait to find out?
     
  4. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    omg this is great!!! yeah are ya gonna do more? i hope soo!! (y)
     
  5. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I guess I was thinking that this was just a one parter... they were asleep together in her bed. Thank you for all the positive feedback, and if anyone wants to really dish it out and give me some bad stuff too, I'd appreciate that also. Thanks for reviewing! :D
     
  6. goofygal

    goofygal Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Location:
    new york city (that's were i was born)
    is that your first fiic because that is really good. i hope this is n't just a one parter. i want more! mwhahahahaha! sorry. i don't understand what he was dreaming about though. please help me!~amber
     
  7. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    That was great. You're a very talented writed, so I hope you keep going! Good job!
    ~kate
     
  8. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    aww that story so far was sweet! kinda short but sweet!
     
  9. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I'll think about it...and try to do a second part that explains better what happened. Thanks for reviewing you guys!!! :D :D :D
     
  10. Alias lover

    Alias lover Rocket Ranger

    it's really, good
    post more soon

    ~Kim~
     
  11. btvaughn

    btvaughn Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Location:
    Ohio
    I think it's a great start, especially for your first fic. Wow...good job kind of one! The only thing I'd recommend, which probably just factors into the length, is too add more to the story. Specifically, after the mentioning of Taipei, I think you could add more. Maybe more details/emotion....you know. Obviously, that's totally your decision, just an idea. But I'd love to read more!
     
  12. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    That was REALLY GOOD! Is this just a wonderful little one parter, or is there more? LOL, everyone wants to know...

    Luve ya,
    Dani
     
  13. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and I know the length was kind of short, but everyone who gave support, THANK YOU!!!! Okay, here is the next, AND LAST part, I hope it will clear some things up for anyone with questions.


    Part 2

    After hours of just staring into space, convincing himself that it would be okay, that he would deal with it in the morning, Vaughn finally fell asleep. But as soon as Sydney’s alarm blared the first note of its morning radio show, he shot up in bed, quick as before.

    “Mmm...Vaughn? Vaughn what’s the matter?” Sydney said as she slowly woke and noticed how unsettled Vaughn looked.

    “Oh, we can talk about it later,” he said, his forehead furrowing, and his many worry wrinkles only deepening as he smiled. “Thank you for being here with me,” he said. Syd gave him a confused look.

    “It’s the only place I would ever want to be.” She said conclusively, and as if to prove her point, leaned over and gently kissed his lips. She did so gently, as if sensing his vulnerability. “I’m gonna take a shower now, you wanna join me?”

    “Yeah, um...in a minute,” he called as Sydney grabbed a few towels to take with her in the bathroom. Vaughn just sat there, lost in thought, thinking about his previous dreams. As the sound of streaming water filled the air, he sat there, absorbed in the lost and pained expression of Sydney’s face that haunted him...he never wanted to see that again. Considering what they did for a living, it was a likelihood that he would see it again, but one could always hope.

    He thoughtfully grabbed a towel of his own, shed his clothes, and walked into the bathroom. The steam that filled the room relaxed him as he prepared to walk into the shower. He slipped in behind Syd, and lost himself in her until he was ready to face his horrible dream again.

    _________________________________

    Two hours later, Michael Vaughn was desperately trying to concentrate on his paperwork, so his mind would not become filled with the love of his life in such a distressed state. In an interrogation room, no windows, sitting in a chair. Something was holding her in that damn chair, although he couldn’t quite figure what...Weiss’ voice snapped him out of his intense state.

    “Hey, buddy you don’t look too good.”

    “Yeah...tough night.”

    “Did something happen with Sydney?”

    “Well...she’s fine...” Vaughn managed to say, thoughts of his dream again consuming his attention. Weiss, sensing his friend’s uneasiness and apprehension toward the topic, decided to stop there with the questions.

    “Hey man, if you ever need anything, just let me know.”

    “Thanks man.” And with that, Vaughn was again left alone with his buzzing conscience.

    ________________________________

    “Vaughn.” Sydney said, and Vaughn’s head snapped back to attention. “Hey, what’s bothering you?” Vaughn walked over to where Sydney was on the couch, and wrapped his arms around her.

    “Syd, I had a dream last night.” She stared at him, urging him to continue. “You were in an interrogation room, reliving every horrible thing that ever happened to you. I saw your expression again, from when we were in Taipei....desperately banging on that door. All I wanted to do was reach out to you, to tell you that I was there, that it was okay... but I couldn’t.” A few moments passed, and Vaughn began again. “I couldn’t tell you that....I couldn’t tell you that I love you, Syd,” he said, as the breath caught in his throat. He looked over at Sydney, to see silent tears streaming down her face. She stayed silent, and she tightened his grip around her. And that was enough to give him a reply. They were two people, desperately in love with each other, and in their hearts they knew that they would do anything for more moments like this. After some time had passed, Vaughn again said, “I will love you Sydney...forever.”


    _________________
     
  14. Aliasfan23

    Aliasfan23 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2003
    Location:
    LA
    AAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!!!! :D :shamefullyembarrased:
     
  15. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    that..sob...was...sob...so....sob....nice....sob....beautiful

    timmy :ninja:
     
  16. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    :is close to tears: That was so sweet. :sob: We've moved to sobbing. :sniffle: Hope you write another fic soon, since I think you said that this was the final part...

    Luve ya,
    Dani
     
  17. that was great kleverkitten! You should've started writing eariler!!!! any ways great job!!!
    --Mandy :angelic:
     
  18. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    awww!! you got to continue or write another one!!! anyways great job and ill be looking for more!! :D
     
  19. goofygal

    goofygal Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Location:
    new york city (that's were i was born)
    that was great! it was so sweet sweetheart. i loved this fic and hope to see more work out of you! love ya babe~amber~ :woot:
     
  20. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Aww....*squeals* You guys are so sweet! Thank you for all of the nice feedback!


    :D :D :D


    P.S. I might get inspiration for a new fic out of "Countdown" on Sunday. Yay! Their finally giving us a new episode! Woohoo! I can't wait!
     

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