1. Our web server is getting tweaked this week and as a result some links are behaving strange. We're working on getting everything back to normal ASAP.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Alien Soup is a free community for fans of science-fiction, horror, & fantasy! Everybody is welcome here.

Love is a Fickle Thing

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by Alias: Eme, May 21, 2003.

Tags:
  1. Alias: Eme

    Alias: Eme Scout

    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    People my first fan fic, so be kind. Basically I don't own any of the Alias charaters or anything in relation to Alias. So don't sue me. Anything in this STORY which is real e.g characters etc I did not mean 4 it 2 happen so sorry. Also I'm in the UK so haven't seen the Telling but read the transcript, so if anything is wrong please tell me.


    Love is a Fickle Thing

    She seemed to be ordinary. She seemed to be just like any of the other women in this place but she wasn’t. She had a secret. She had lied. She had lost nearly everything important in her life, nearly everything which made her, her. Yet you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. She seemed to be like the other women in this place.
    She was sitting on a tattered old bar stool, in a crummy dive somewhere in the South of America. Really she did not care where she was expect for him. She was here for him. She put with the sea of cheap cigarette smoke surrounding her, the sticky bar, the drunk men drooling over any women that could walk including her and her feeling of disgust within herself for coming here, all for him. So, she sat here and waited in her disguise. It appeared all she had done recently was waited. She was fed up with waiting, she wanted to act. Her eyes searched the place, looking out for them. Although to any one in the bar it looked like she was looking for someone to be her next one night stand. Yet she would rather drop down dead than let any one of these men touch her.
    Just as she was finishing her bottle of beer, she heard the door open with a long squeak. Trying not to draw attention to herself she casually let her eyes look at the now open doorway.



     
  2. Alias: Eme

    Alias: Eme Scout

    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Also meant 2 say please tell me if u like/dislike. Next bit up soon if u like. Thanx!
     
  3. aliasjunkie4ever

    aliasjunkie4ever Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    Location:
    USA
    oooh its good!! keep going!! :)
     
  4. hum... great start. Love the descriptiveness (is that a word?? :LOL: ) but I would need more to fully judge.
    --Mandy :angelic:
     
  5. A.I.C.

    A.I.C. Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    I like it!
    I think it's a good start and you should continue!!!!
     
  6. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Location:
    South Africa
    interesting start and yes Mandy that is a word
     
  7. Syd_Vaughn4ever

    Syd_Vaughn4ever Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2003
    Dude!!!! Why'd you stop???? I was getting in to that!!! Gotta post more!!
     
  8. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    This is great!! Please continue!!
    -Karie-
     
  9. btvaughn

    btvaughn Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Location:
    Ohio
    Definitely getting there...the descriptions are great! I'll let you know more, once you have more posted.
     
  10. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    definitely keep on going. i like it so far.
     
  11. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    its good so far, but i need more to make judge!!
     
  12. Ilikesloane

    Ilikesloane Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    wow right more that was good
     
  13. Alias: Eme

    Alias: Eme Scout

    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Okay here's the contined bit from the first litttle diddy I did. Let's think of the first little bit and this next bit as the first chapter.

    Just as she was finishing her bottle of beer, she heard the door open with a long squeak. Trying not to draw attention to herself she casually let her eyes look at the now open doorway. They were here.
    In walked a group of about 7 or 8 men and women. They were dressed to blend in but they did not go straight to the bar to order a drink or approach a semi-hot man/women. Instead they walked straight to the back of the bar, towards the toilets. On the way they franticly scanned the room. As if they were looking for a lost child. It seemed they did not find what they were looking for. Luckily or so it seemed the people in the bar where too drunk or too involved in their own lives to notice the smallish group. But one woman caught Agent Maria Williams eye. She seemed so familiar. Yet something was wrong about her. She tried to recall anyone she had met with badly dyed blonde hair and blue eyes. No one jumped out at her. Yet this woman seemed so familiar. After having one last gaze she hurriedly moved on. Slightly freaked out by the women but also to get away from the extremely drunk and unhygienic men.
    They thought they were undetected but they weren’t. She saw them. She probably wasn’t the only one as she had noticed something they hadn’t. C.C.T.V cameras. They were walking into a trap. She had really thought Agent Williams had figured out who she was. As soon as she had realised she was watching her, she had started to talk to the nearest guy to her. To her surprise he was actually quite polite and had even bought her a drink. In return she had give him a fake name and number. She did feel a little sorry for him but she would get over it. She had to remember him. She couldn’t even think of his name as it hurt so much to think it. He should be with her. He belonged with her. She turned round and asked J.D(polite guy) for the time. Once he told her five to ten, she realised she had to go and get ready for her mission. Making some quick excuse about going to the restroom. She quickly made her way to the back of the bar, like the group of CIA had done before. When she was out of the public’s way, she removed a gun from her purse and her cellphone. She dumped the purse and whatever was in it, in the nearest bin and met with her contact.

    Okay can anyone guess who is the woman that the bar or the guy she wants or who her contact is?
     
  14. Alias: Eme

    Alias: Eme Scout

    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Sorry forgot 2 add there may be some Brittish words in there u may not understand but just ask me and I'll try and give u the American whatever. I think I changed most 2 American but well I'm only human.
     
  15. A.I.C.

    A.I.C. Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    I have no clue....maybe Alice [blonde] or maybe Sydney (with a pair of contactlenses/BAD dyed)?!?!
    and the guy is Vaughn/Sark?!?
    I'm just guessing.....
    But that's great please post more ASAP!!!!! :woot:
    And btw I had no problems in understanding because I learned "British English" at school :)
     
  16. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    this is really good!! hmm i have no clue who they are and is killing me!! hope post more soon!! :D
     
  17. Syd_Vaughn4ever

    Syd_Vaughn4ever Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2003
    Alice A.K.A. Ramcow and Sark A.K.A. a**hole???
     
  18. Sarahmañana

    Sarahmañana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    ohh i like so far!!! i dunno who the woman is...maybe syd....maybe not! or could it be irina?? hmn....maybe alice....pretty much i have no idea!!!! :D

    can't wait for more!!!!

    could you PM me when you post next??? pleeeeeeeease!!! :D :D :D
     
  19. Alias: Eme

    Alias: Eme Scout

    Joined:
    May 21, 2003
    Next part should be up 2morrow.
     
  20. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I like it so far, :D but can you make a line space after each paragraph? That would make it easier to read.

    Thanks! Your story's great! :D
     

Share This Page