inferno

I can't imagine why I haven't found this fic before! Amazing job in keeping Sydney & Sark in character! Could I please get a PM when you update?! thanks :apple:
 
here ya go. it's a little different than previous chapters :smiley: but it's definitely necessary. hope you like it.

xvii. it was only a kiss

"sark," sydney said quietly at breakfast the next morning.
"hmm?" he replied through a mouthful of cheerios.
"i think it's time for me to go back," she said.
he stopped chewing and just stared at her. she wouldn't look him in the eye. he knew she was serious.
"you really--you--do you want to? i mean, are you ready? he asked, cherrios still swirling around in his mouth.
she nodded. "i think it's time."
"you think?"
he was just saying anything he could to challenge what she thought. he didn't think it was time. he didn't think it was anywhere near time. he thought years might be time, not weeks. he wasn't ready.
"sark...i know. i need to go back. it's my life," she said.
"it's the life that led you to painkillers," he sighed.
"yes, but thanks to you i am off of them. and i owe you so much for that. but i still need to go back," she replied.
he nodded. "i know. of course you do. at least that way i won't have to put up with you anymore."
she smiled. it was obvious he was just putting up a facade of not caring, pretending he knew it was necessary. she was trying to convince herself that she needed to leave. she was afraid of going back to her life, but she knew she had to. it was who she was. she knew it. he knew it.
“i’ll be out of here by the end of the night,” she said.
“you get things done fast once you set your mind on them, huh?” he chuckled.
sark realised he sounded like a fifteen year old moron with a crush. he just stopped talking and continued eating his cheerios.
“thanks for everything sark,” sydney said quietly.
he just shrugged.
“it meant something. don’t try to deny it. you’re such an arrogant, c***y ass normally, don’t pretend to be modest now,” she demanded. “it meant a lot to me. if it weren’t for you, i’d still be in l.a. popping pills.”
“how’s your shoulder?” he changed the subject.
“it still hurts a lot, but it’s all right. i’ll be able to get home just fine,” she replied.
“yeah. i’ll get harris to drive you to my plane. keep all of the clothes and everything. i have extra suitcases if you need them.”
“right.”
the conversation was so distant. they hadn’t mentioned the kiss since the night before. it was the elephant in the room; the relationship that had grown between them during their three weeks together was the elephant in the room. sydney didn’t like how uncomfortable it was.
“well, i should pack.”
“let me get this for you. i can tell you’re still in pain,” sark said as he stood.
he had brought breakfast to sydney in bed so she wouldn’t have to move much. he opened her closets.
“sark, don’t. if you won’t let me do it, we can just get harris to or something. all i really want to do today is laze around anyway. wanna watch a movie or something?” she asked.
“how would lazing around be any different from what you normally do?” he teased. “and of course i can’t watch a movie with you; i have important things to get done.”
“we can watch fight club,” she said.
“you’re on.”
sydney chuckled. she had learned simple things about sark during their time together; like his favourite movie, fight club, and his favourite book; desolate angel.
“so where’s the closest tv room?”
“well one can come down from the ceiling if you just want to watch it in bed, but if you want someone to pack your things while we watch, then we should go somewhere else. there’s a room a few doors down that’s got a couch and tv.”
“let’s go.”
sark helped her out of bed. she wasn’t going to complain; she was actually still in a large amount of pain. he got her to the other room and situated on the couch before he searched for the movie and set everything up. he closed the shades and turned the lights off before settling down on the couch next to her.
it was a nice way to spend their last day together. their relationship wasn’t one that could be explained through words. neither of them really understood what had happened between them anyway. sark knew that no matter how much he cared for sydney, he had no chance and love didn’t matter in the life they lived anyway. sydney knew that she had formed a bond with sark, but she couldn’t deny the fact that he was still a murderer and not one of the good guys. still, they could sit together and watch a movie without a problem. there was no business related to it, no interaction that had to happen between them. it was perfect. it was their goodbye.
***
once the movie was over, neither sark nor sydney was ready to get up and go on with the day. sark flipped through the channels, trying to find anything worth watching. he stopped on a football game.
“more soccer, huh? or ‘football’ as you like to call it?” sydney smiled.
“oh come on, deal with it,” he chuckled.
she smiled and leaned into him lightly. they watched the game comfortably, leaning into each other.

i’m coiming out of my cage
and i’ve been doing just fine
gotta gotta be down
because i want it all
it started out with a kiss
how did it end up like this?
it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

when the second half started, sark began to rub sydney’s injured shoulder. it hurt, but she liked it. he pushed against it harder, making her groan in pain.
“what? does it hurt?” he smirked.
“not as much as you wish it does,” she snapped.
“just admit it, you like it,” he said, still pushing on the wound. “you like it more than you liked anything agent yawn ever did.”
“please,” she scoffed. “you’re nothing compared to vaughn.”
“you go ahead and say that when you still lean into the pressure.”
sydney abruptly pulled away and stood up.
“think harris has packed my bags yet?” she asked, a slight smirk on her face.
“he’s competent,” sark replied. “i would assume it would be done.”
“well then i might as well be getting out of here.”
“can’t see a reason for you to stay,” he agreed.
she fought the smile off her face and marched out of the room. sark was left on the couch, chuckling and shaking his head.
that was just the way their relationship was. they cared about each other, and they fought. they argued. they bickered. sydney would be forever grateful to sark for getting her over her addiction, and sark was beginning to think he may actually love sydney, but neither would ever admit all of their feelings. they both knew that wasn’t the way things worked. in this business especially. it just wasn’t how things happened. she couldn’t care for him, and he couldn’t for her. if it came down to it, when guns were pointed, they couldn’t hesitate. so they bickered. and that worked for them. there would be no hesitation.
***
sark was lonely without sydney. granted, he was busy, had catching up to do. but without her, something was missing from the place. he let it go and went on with his life.
“irina, love,” he greeted her on the telephone. “how’s the business going?”
“fine. no major developments except the raid, and in terms of damage or need to act, that is not major either,” she replied. “how’s sydney?”
“good. she went home today. so i’m ready to get back into the think of things,” he replied.
“why was she with you?”
“irina, stop asking that question. i’m not going to tell you. i only called to let you know that i’m back in the game so i’ll be taking over my operations again. let me know if you need any help,” he said.
“sark, you know i am perfectly capable of handling things myself,” she snapped.
“what i know is that you had a collapsed lung and that you are still not fully recovered. i’m just offering my help,” he explained. “but it’s late, and i need my beauty sleep.”
“good-bye.”
sark hung up. she was always so business-like. lately she was angry. she hated the fact that she had been shot, hated that sark now had more power than she did, hated all of it. sark got the feeling that she never really could accept his obsession with sydney. even though her relations with her weren’t anything of importance, she still felt the motherly urge to protect her daughter.
sark sighed. it didn’t really matter. he had more power than irina anyway. she could be as mad as she wanted, but if he had more power, she didn’t have much of a choice but to deal with things.
sark yawned and headed up to his bedroom. he stripped to his boxers and climbed into the four-poster. it used to be as soon as he closed his eyes he saw himself with sydney, even if they were just sitting around, that’s always what happened when he closed his eyes to go to sleep. but that night, he saw sydney with vaughn. before he closed his eyes he had not even though to be jealous, but suddenly, it was overtaking him.
he imagined sydney going back to vaughn. him taking her out to dinner. the flashes kept coming to him in his mind. over and over. vaughn. sydney. together. on their way home. to the same place. he couldn’t stop it.

now i’m falling asleep
and she’s calling a cab
while he’s having a smoke
and she’s taking a drag

he couldn’t control the jealousy. he knew vaughn wasn’t worth it, but he couldn’t stop. when sydney was living with him, it was as though she was his. she was all he needed, all he wanted. he would sometimes take her out to dinner, if for no other reason that to make her smile and show her off. but now he couldn’t show her off. she wasn’t his anymore. was she vaughn’s?”

now they’re going to bed
and my stomach is sick
and it’s all in my head
but she’s touching his chest
now, he takes off her dress
now, let me go

sark pictured sydney, unbuttoning vaughn’s shirt. sark saw her kissing vaughn the way she had kissed him. sark saw vaughn pulling her into him. sark saw everything. his mind pulled him through it, no matter how much he fought it.

i just can’t look it’s killing me
and taking control
jealousy, turning saints into the sea
swimming through sick lullabies
choking on your alibi

sark sat up, flinging his eyes open. he couldn’t take it anymore. he threw the covers off and stood to pace his room. he talked to himself as he walked.
“she’s not with him. she wouldn’t be with him. that’s absurd. what’s more absurd is that you care about it. she’s nothing. he’s nothing…okay, so she’s not nothing. but she should be. it’s your own fault that you’re so messed up at the moment. i mean, if you wouldn’t let her get to you none of this would be going on.”

but it’s just the price i pay
destiny is calling me
open up my eager eyes
‘cause i’m mr. brightside

sitting on the edge of the bed, he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. he glanced at the security monitors across the room. a smile crept across his face. he pulled on a wife beater and jeans and headed downstairs. he reached the door before the knock came and opened it.
there she was. sydney. standing right in front of him. no vaughn in sight. he grinned.
“got tired of agent yawn rather quickly, didn’t you?” he smirked.
“i missed being pampered,” she pushed past him inside. “get my bags, will you?”
“of course,” he chuckled.
he grabbed the bags that were sitting on his steps and pulled them inside.
“is there anything i could do to pamper you? food, drink, sex, anything?”
“you are such an ***hole,” she rolled her eyes. “you really think i would enjoy having sex with you?”
“i was simply offering to help pamper you. it doesn’t have to be me you have sex with, you know?” he replied. “i could call a professional, or get someone you had your eye on in l.a.”
sydney smiled mischievously. “you’d really get me someone to come her, to have sex with me? anyone i wanted?”
“anyone but agent yawn,” sark chuckled.
“well what about harris? he seems like a nice enough guy. i bet i could rock his world,” she said. “you’d be okay with that though? me having sex with someone other than you in your own house?”
“why would it bother me?” he asked.
“well i know how you like your power. wouldn’t it be a little bit as though someone else had more power than you even though they are not supposed to? i mean, they can seduce me but you can’t. that really doesn’t bother you?”
“not as much as you wish it does,” he smirked.
she looked at him, lips slightly upturned. she took a step toward him, staring directly into his eyes.
“the idea of it woulnd’t plague your mind?” she asked. “his hands pulling me into him, his mouth on my neck. i’d be moaning his name. he’d slip a hand up my skirt. god it would feel so good. that wouldn’t make you mad? the way he would push in and out of me and f*** me in your household? you wouldn’t care when i orgasmed and screamed his name?”
sark was having trouble even dealing with her talking about it. he had been so jealous thinking she was with vaughn. so what now? was he really going to let her f*** another guy in his own house and pretend it was fine?
“you seem to be taunting me sydney,” he sighed. “what—you want me to freak out? you want me to scream that i would never let another man have you because i am going to make you mine? well, sorry but i am not going to let you live out your little fantasy.”
“oh shut up,” she snapped, turning her back to him. “you’re a real dick, you know that?”
“and you love it,” he grinned.
she turned around to slap him, but he caught her arm. it was her left arm; the one he had shot. she winced in pain. his grin simply widened but he dropped her arm. she immediately swung the other one at him, but he ducked it and kicked her legs out from underneath her. she ended up on the floor, her shoulder searing with pain from the impact.
sark stood over her, smirking.
“that shoulder is so bad, i don’t even think you can have sex,” he shrugged. “you really just need your rest.”
“shut up,” she snapped. “***hole.”
“i just want to make sure you don’t hurt yourself,” he said innocently.
“oh so that’s why you kicked my feet out from under me—so i wouldn’t get hurt,” she scoffed as she stood.
“you can’t blame me for protecting myself,” he smiled. “if you are going to attack me, i should have the right to react, even if it does end up hurting you. plus, you can’t really pretend you don’t like it. you are so obviously masochistic love.”
“you helped me stop those tendencies,” she said quietly. “the pills are gone.”
“you don’t need the pills to inflict pain. and now, without the pills you have nothing else to hurt you. that just makes you angry.”
“don’t pretend like you f***ing know who i am sark! jesus, you don’t know anything about me,” sydney spat.
“don’t i? you lived with me for over three weeks. you are saying that in that time i didn’t learn anything about you. do you really think i am that stupid? that i pay so little attention that i can’t even glean a single thing from twenty-some days with you?” he asked. “that disappoints me sydney. i thought you had a higher opinion of me.”
“well, i don’t want to overestimate your intelligence.”
he chuckled. “you like to be bad ass, don’t you? you like to act as though nothing can touch you, nothing can get through your outer wall.”
“don’t you like to do the exact same thing?” she raised her eyebrows. “don’t you like to act as though i don’t get through your cold exterior. as though i don’t make you stir? as though being this close to me—” she stepped next to him and whispered her hot breath on his ear and neck “—doesn’t make you feel anything? you like to pretend that if i do this—” she wrapped her mouth around his ear and suckled a little before pulling away “—you still have no emotions boiling up inside of you?”
she took his ear back in her mouth and began to nibble again. she moved down to his neck, blowing hot breath onto it in between kisses and nibbles and licks.
he closed his eyes and tried to remember to breathe.
her hands roamed over his chest.
he kept his at his sides, trying desperately to convince them to push her away.
she pushed him backward against a wall and slid her hands down his pants. he moaned.
“oh, so i do get through that outer wall? i do make you stir?” she asked.
he nodded vigourously.
“say it,” she whispered in his ear, stroking his c*** lightly.
“you make me feel,” he breathed.

you make me cum
you make me complete
you make me completely miserable

“so it would bother you if i f***ed harris?” she asked.
“it would piss me off if you f***ed anyone but me. you can’t,” he replied, his breath ragged.
“why?”
“you’re mine,” he said.
“not unless you make me,” she teased, pulling away.
he grabbed her and dragged her back to him, back to his lips. his hands held her body against him. his tongue explored her mouth.
she reacted just the way he needed her to. her hands ran through his thick blonde hair. she kept her body molded to his, her hips gyrating against him. she kissed him back just as deeply as he was kissing her.
they were on the first floor, but neither of them was going to be able to wait until they got upstairs to a bed. instead, right there in the front entryway, sark pulled sydney’s top over her head. she clawed at the button to his pants and pushed them to his ankles. his hands fumbled at her bra clasp, but he was so lost in her kiss that he couldn’t get it undone.
“need some help with that?” she giggled, reaching back to unhook it for him.
he stared in amazement as the black bra fell to the floor. it was really happening. this was it.
he pulled her into him again, kissing her deeply. she pushed him backward to pull his shirt off. she did it slowly, torturing him. once the shirt was gone her hands ran feather-lightly over his hard torso. her hands burned his skin. the heat radiating between them was almost too much for him to take. he tried to keep still as she slid her hands all over him. finally she brought her mouth to his body. she took a nipple in her mouth. he moaned as she sucked on it, flicking her tongue back and forth over it. his hands went to her belt, unbuckling it in record time.
sydney was now only wearing black underwear. she sat on her knees before sark could pull them off of her. instead, she hooked her thumbs in the elastic band of his boxers and tantalisingly slid them to his ankles. he stepped out of them. she was kneeling in front of him. it took everything he had not to shove his throbbing c*** into her mouth. he tried to control himself.
everything was coming to him in flashes. it was all bit by bit, little by little, slowly but surely. it was really happening. he thought back to his dream of her; they had always been flashes. was this in his dreams?
she slipped her mouth around the head of his c***, smiling up at him with her eyes. he threw his head back and ran his hands through her hair. she hummed slightly; the vibrations on his c*** made him thrust his hips forward and force more into her mouth. she gladly took it and went to work, her throat flexing as she sucked.
his breath was hard. he couldn’t seem to get enough air to his lungs. he was gasping. his balls tensed and he moaned as he shot into sydney’s mouth. she giggled as she lapped it up, swallowing it all. when he was done she licked all the excess juice off of him and stood to kiss him. he tasted himself in her mouth; it kept his c*** hard.
“that was amazing,” sark whispered.
“don’t think i don’t expect you to do the same for me,” sydney grinned.
“and if i don’t?”
“then that’s never happening again.”
he chuckled and lifted her into his arms, carrying her into the nearest living room as he kissed her. he laid her in a chair and sat on the ground beneath her. he glided her underwear off. she was shaven and perfect. it made his mouth water. she spread her legs wide, inviting him in.
he teased her first, cupping his hand over her ****y and feeling her heat. she was already wet, waiting for him begging him. he slipped a finger inside of her.
“oh god,” she moaned.
he grinned as he slowly slid his finger in and out. he pulled it out and licked it off. the taste was too much for him, and he bent to put his head between her legs. he blew hot air on them and kissed the insides of her thighs. she drove her hips forward, pleading with him. he licked her slit. she shivered.
“more. don’t be a tease,” she begged.
his tongue went deeper, tasted her juices, glided over her clit. sydney moaned and grabbed fistfuls of his hair. he coaxed her clit out and took it between his teeth, flicking his tongue over it.
“jesus. oh god.”
her breath was heavy and hard. she didn’t seem to be able to get enough air to her lungs. she was gasping. suddenly her body froze and then began to tremble as her orgasm washed over her.
sark sucked her juices into his mouth, savouring her taste. he grinned and slid next to her in the chair. she kissed him lightly, still recovering. he smiled.
“was that good enough for you?” he asked.
“no, but we can work on it,” she replied.
he smiled and kissed her once more.
“better than agent yawn?”
“as if,” she teased. “that was nothing.”
“is that why i can still hear your heart pounding?” he asked.
“my heart’s pounding because my shoulder hurts so much,” she explained.
“oh, of course,” he chuckled.
after a few minutes sark yawned and stretched. “well, that’s all i needed. i’m ready for bed. g’night love.”
“you aren’t even going to invite me to bed with you?” sydney asked him as he stood.
he looked at her, almost laughingly. “no.”
“you really do enjoy being an ***hole, don’t you?” she scoffed.
“you told me i disgusted you. you said you hated me. you refused to sleep in my bed even when i wasn’t in it. i didn’t think you would say yes anyway,” he explained.
“i think that last act of mine just showed that i don’t exactly hate you.”
”says who? sometimes hate sex is the best sex,” he smirked.
“you really are a dick,” sydney snapped.
“this isn’t a romantic relationship. we f***ed. it was amazing. that’s all,” he said. “we aren’t going to curl up in each other’s arms and sleep dreaming of getting married. that’s absurd.”
“i never said i wanted to, i just wanted to be invited into bed,” she replied. “and by the way, we didn’t f***. that was all oral; you never actually stuck it in.”
“i’d be happy to now if you wish. i was content with what happened but if you would like me to, i would be glad to do whatever you desired.”
“just f***ing go to bed,” she rolled her eyes.
he shrugged and headed upstairs. it was hard for him not to invite her into his bed, but he loved pissing her off. he got off on the red flush that came to her cheeks. her angry swallow that she inherited made him moan. it was fun for him.
***
sydney scoffed at sark’s back as he left the room. she couldn’t believe how much he bothered her. he was such an ass. at the same time, that was the best oral sex she had ever had. that was just the way it was. he would annoy her as much as possible, they would bicker, but there was still the sexual energy between them. there had always been sexual energy between them. but god he pissed her off sometimes.


please review. hope you liked.

m-c
 
m-c, that was great. :hug:

It's nice to see great writting. I've been telling people about your writting. You never cease to amaze me. You talent always comes out. Weither it's writting a down right dirty chapter or something reserve and complex...you are truly a great writter.

As always,

I can't wait for more! :smiley:
 
I thought that it was a very intriguing chapter. And it was also quite sexy. I like the approach you've taken, where you have them being sexual with each other, but still crabby and bantering as well. It's interesting to read, and it adds more depth and layers to the characters personalities. I really loved this chapter, and I look greatly forward to your next update.
bounce3.gif
 
hey guys
thanks so much for all of your sweet comments. the next chap is with meg my beta-er. i have way more finished, i just have to transfer them to this computer. see my old computer, that has all the fic on it, doesn't work on the internet, and now this computer's floppy drive doesn't work so i have to transfer it all by retyping it. it's taking a while but i'm working as fast as i can.
i'm going to france on tuesday. unfortunately, i won't have access to the internet, and even if i do, i won't have access to my fic. so for the month of july there will be no updates. but i am sending as many as possible to meg before tuesday to see if i can pump at least another one out before i go. i'll try for two but it also depends on her.
i'll update as soon as i can, and if i can't before i go, you'll get it as soon as i get back. 27 july.

m-c
 
Ok im addicted to your fan fic i rightfully admit it, i watch for updates like a hawk and drink in every new post to the story you make and i think its amazing...
You're quite talented and i TRULY hope that you get to update soon....hope you're enjoying vaca!
Brooke
 
boo after reading what m-c wrote i feel really bad :( i've been so busy with work and i didnt get it to her in time...i'm sorry ya'll! i would post it, but i dont want to get in trouble and besides its her fic....but trust me, it's worth waiting for!!! :D
 
i have internet for another week here in france. and thank you meg, for not posting it. i sometimes don't use all your changes (though in this one i will) but even so i'm always a major control freak and would flip for no reason if you posted. hehe.
to the rest of you, it will be up soon. meg just sent it to me but i have some questions for her. if seh can't get back to me in a few days i'll post it as is. (don't worry, it's not bad. but there are possible character issues. just some extra editting). so no matter what, it will be up by friday. i think ;)

m-c
 
here ya go! i always get really excited when i post a new chapter to get feedback. i love knowing what you guys like, so please read and review


xviii. don’t complicate it by hesitating
sark yawned and opened his eyes.
“jesus!” he exclaimed.
sydney was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him.
“what the hell woman?”
“what are you doing today?” she asked.
“i’m catching myself up on anything that happened when i was dealing with you,” he replied. “why? what are you planning?”
“i figure you should explain your operation to me,” she said.
“ha!” he laughed. “and why would i do something like that?”
“because if you plan to have me work with you, i have to know what’s going on,” she explained.
“and what if i’m not planning on having you work with me?” he asked.
“then what the hell would i be doing here?”
“recuperating,” he said. “i want to make sure that shoulder heals before you do anything.”
“my shoulder’s fine; just let me get to work,” she sighed.
“come on. i’m not going to do that. i don’t know if i can trust you. and irina certainly won’t. she’ll probably kill me for even letting me back into my home; she’d do worse if she thought i asked you to work with us,” sark explained.
“didn’t you?” sydney asked. “i mean seriously, you basically begged me to stay and—”
“i did not beg you to stay. i didn’t even ask you to,” he cut in.
“it was obvious that you wanted me to work with you,” she replied.
“wanting, needing, and allowing are three totally different things,” he said.
“so what—you want me to work with you but you won’t ‘allow’ it? or you don’t ‘need’ me?”
“i don’t think we need extra help at the moment, no. we’ve done pretty well for ourselves, thank you. and i doubt irina would let you join us,” he explained. “remember love, this is the dark side.”
“you’re so irritating sometimes,” sydney sighed.
“i like to think it’s part of my charm.”
“well it’s not,” she scoffed.
“are you going to leave or would you like me to change in front of you?” sark asked.
“it’s not like i haven’t seen it before. not too impressive by the way,” she replied.
he laughed. “you’re a good liar, but you aren’t that good. but fine, if you won’t leave…”
he stood and walked to his closet. it was a revolving closet, and he watched as shoes and socks, pants, shirts and coats, and ties spun past. he picked out jeans, a white-button-down, and a black tie. there was nothing too important going on today, he could dress casually.
he didn’t even glance at sydney as he changed his underwear. she sighed in fake annoyance but had to control herself from looking.
he slipped into his jeans and pulled his pajama t-shirt over his head. sydney stared at his back. she had always had a thing for backs, and his was flawless. she could see each muscle working as he reached for his clean shirt. he slid it on and turned to face her as he buttoned it.
“so, since i’m not telling you all the secrets to my business, what are you going to do today?”
“recuperate i suppose. what the hell else am i to do?” she scoffed.
“there are plenty of things you could do. i have every movie you could want, i have computers, i have guns—don’t shoot them without asking though—and wine and foods, or i could get someone to take you somewhere if you want,” he offered.
“where would i go?”
“anywhere you wanted. go see paris, london, berlin. hang out there for the day, fly back tomorrow morning or something,” he suggested.
“i can’t believe going to paris or london or berlin are day trips to you,” she replied. “do you know how many people save up their entire life to go to one of those cities?”
“the joys of having money; you can go anywhere you want, any time you want. look i don’t care what you do or what you spend, just don’t bother me,” he said as he attempted to tie his tie.
“so how long do you think it will take me to recuperate?” she asked. “you have to understand, i took time to recuperate from my addiction, and that was longer than enough. i really need to get back to work. i’ll die if i just have to sit around and do nothing.”
“i have to catch myself up before i deal with you. and i don’t think it’s the best idea to bring up your return to irina a day after i told her you had left,” sark replied. “so wait a week or something.”
“you think she doesn’t know that i’m here?”
“no. she never could keep tabs on you. it hurt her to know what you were doing because it brought up memories from her past,” he explained.
“i’m sure she cried every time she thought of me,” sydney scoffed.
“stop being such a whiny b****. give her a chance; maybe you’ll be surprised,” he said.
“right,” she rolled her eyes.
“okay well i don’t care what you do. but i have to get to work. don’t get yourself into trouble.”
he left her sitting on the edge of his bed.
what am i going to do? she asked herself. i’m going to kill myself if i don’t do something. what—i’m just supposed to hang out and wait around until he thinks i’m ready to live again? that doesn’t work for me.
“***hole,” she said to the empty room.
***
she’s going to kill me, sark thought. she’s definitely going to kill me. if i don’t let her work on something, on anything, she’s going to kill me. what can i let her do that won’t affect anything?
he looked around his office. it was small, nothing on the walls, bare, empty. that’s how it seemed just looking around anyway. he looked at his desk; it definitely wasn’t empty. he had too much work to do to worry about sydney, but he did anyway.
“harris!” he called, a light bulb going off in his head.
“yes sir?”
the boy walked with a little more confidence than usual. sark didn’t question it. he was glad harris was building up to actually having an ego.
“get sydney in here, would you? i have a job for her,” he said.
“i’m sorry sir, you told me she could do whatever she wanted. i drove her to the airplane,” harris replied.
“where did she go?” sark asked.
“she wouldn’t say. she told me to tell you she’d be back by sunrise tomorrow,” he said.
“hmmm,” sark thought aloud. “well, okay. does she have a cell phone on her do you know?”
“i do not sir.”
“okay. well, that’s all,” he dismissed him.
sark wondered where sydney had gone.
***
sydney was outside paris. she had contacted simon walker and was meeting him in an abandoned warehouse.
“so you’re sydney bristow,” a voice came from behind her.
she turned to see simon walker—another c***y, arrogant, brit—walking toward her carrying two cases. there were two men behind him who were also carrying two cases each. she crossed her arms and just looked at him.
“your reputation precedes you. i’ve heard a lot about you, you know?” simon said. “sark speaks very highly of you. very highly.”
“are those the guns?” sydney asked.
“i like a woman who gets right to business,” he grinned as he set the cases on a table. “why did you only want one of each? sark usually deals in bulk. i could have brought you one hundred b6 snipers. they’re the best guns i have right now.”
“i’m not sark. and the gun isn’t going to be for his operatives to use. i want one,” she explained.
“really?” he raised an eyebrow. “does he know this?”
“would that affect whether or not you sell me the guns?”
“no.”
“then i guess you don’t need to know.”
he opened a case and handed her one of the guns.
“this is the b6. i think you’ll like it,” he said.
sydney took it out of his hands to examine it. it was nice, she’d give him that much. she held it, aimed. it wasn’t bad. she shot at the wall.
“no. i don’t like the way it shoots,” she stated, putting the gun back on the table.
“that’s okay,” simon said. he handed her another gun. “try this one.”
sydney looked at the new gun and shoved it back into simon’s hands.
“the eyepiece doesn’t work,” she said.
“why not?”
“it doesn’t. give me something else,” she demanded.
“you are so much like your mother,” he grinned. “you know that?”
she glared at him. he chuckled and handed her another gun. feeling it in her hands, she knew this was the gun she needed. it was perfect. she ran her fingers over its length. perfect.
she lifted it to her eye. the eyepiece was perfect. she slipped her finger next to the trigger: perfect. she shot at the wall. perfect.
“how much?” she asked.
“you really just want one?” simon questioned.
“yes. how much?” she repeated.
“take it for free. i always allow sark to keep a gun for free; to test it out. i think you’ll find that that will treat you so well, you will be back for more,” he replied.
“i don’t want favours just because i work with sark,” she said.
“this isn’t a favour. i’ll let you take that for free because i am a businessman and i think it will work to my advantage. i am one hundred percent sure that—if you don’t come back—sark will see that gun and come for more,” he explained.
“fine.”
she packed up the gun and started to walk out.
“no ‘thank you’? no ‘good-bye’?” he asked.
she paused but did not turn around.
“i am a businesswoman. thank you’s and good-bye’s don’t work to my advantage,” she said and continued on her way.
simon shook his head and chuckled.
***
sydney loved the gun. she loved it. it was perfect. she knew that she was not supposed to shoot guns because it might have an adverse effect on her shoulder, she knew that she was supposed to be resting, but it was all she could do not to take the gun out and just shoot anything she could. it was so nice.
sydney had always disliked guns in the sense of what they did. she didn’t enjoy killing people. but she always admired the craftsmanship of guns. sometimes they could be really nice. her new gun was one of the really nice ones. she also adored the power of them. seeing a bullet rip through twenty pieces of wood when she was a little girl on the farm in 4-h really left an impression on her, and she liked it. she knew from that moment that she didn’t want to kill people, but she also knew that guns amazed her. the bang, the recoil, the power; she loved it.
she smiled as she looked at the gun one more time on the flight back. she packed it up and poured herself a glass of wine. white wine. it was elegant without having a dark side. sark usually had reds around, but she had had one of his lackeys run out and buy her the perfect bottle of wine.
it was nice to have people wait on her. she had just gotten the perfect gun for free. she was drinking a glass of perfect whine. she was flying on a perfect jet, going back to a perfect mansion—well, not entirely perfect. but it was close. she could see how someone could be addicted to the life.
***
sark spent the whole day wondering about sydney. he caught himself up with all of the little nuances that had occurred when he was dealing with sydney. like irina had said, there was nothing of importance, but he always liked to know everything that was going on.
he worked for hours, calling contacts, looking over files, checking everything. he went over old files and old information that he had stored so far back in his mind, he had almost forgotten it. when he finally looked out the window, the sky was already almost dark. he stretched and decided to call it a day. still no word from sydney.
he went upstairs wondering where she was. once he reached the bedroom he decided he was happy she was gone for the night. he hadn’t been able to do some things when she was around, and he missed them.
he grabbed a remote and turned on a stereo—blasting “all along the watchtower” as loud as his ears could stand it. he stripped to his standard boxers and a wifebeater, but left on socks. playing the air guitar, he ran through the halls and slid a good thirty-feet on the hardwood floors to the bathroom. he sang as he brushed his teeth, which proved to be a difficult task.
he had missed being a dumb ass. sometimes it was nice to pretend he was still a teenage boy; he could enjoy simple things more easily that way. sometimes there was nothing so good as sliding through the halls in his socks. he raced all over the house, up the stairs, down the stairs, through the halls, sliding around in his socks. the stereo system was set up so that he could choose to hear it in every room at the same time, so everywhere he slid, he could play the air guitar and sing at the top of his lungs.
instead of his room, sark ended up in one of his living rooms—his favourite living room. it had a big couch with blankets and down pillows. it had huge speakers and a plasma screen that dropped out of the ceiling. it had playstation, playstation 2, xbox, sega, nintendo 64, gamecube; any type of video game any guy could want.
he put in mario kart and kept the music blasting. see, he thought to himself, not having a girl around isn’t half bad.
he ended up playing various video cames until three a.m. he only stopped then because he had beat all of his favourite games and wasn’t interested anymore. he yawned, turned down the music, and headed back to his bedroom. his eyes closed they were so heavy.
when he opened the door, the music was different; the smell was different; the air seemed different. he opened his eyes.
sydney was lying on his bed in lingerie. she rolled over and grinned at him.
“where have you been?” she asked. “i’ve been waiting for a while.”
he smirked. “where have you been? you’ve been gone all day. you think you can just come back here and surprise me in lingerie and that will make up for anything?”
sydney climbed off the bed and walked toward him.
“yes,” she whispered, running her hands over his chest. “what do i have to make up for anyway? you told me i could leave if i wanted.”
“i guess i did, didn’t i?” he said as she circled around him, dragging her fingertips over him as she walked. “where did you go?”
“i bought a gun. i know i’m not supposed to shoot because of my shoulder, but wait until you see this gun. it’s perfect,” she said, breathing heavily on his nck.
“where did you get the gun?” sark asked through clenched teeth.
“simon walker. why?”
he threw his fist against a wall, denting it slightly.
“what the hell sark?!”
“simon f***ing walker. did he touch you?” he asked.
sydney grinned. “would you have a problem with it if he did? would that just kill you if he had touched me?”
“i answered that last night,” he replied quietly.
“yes, and what was it that you said? you said ‘you’re mine’ last night, didn’t you?” she taunted. “isn’t that what you said?”
he sighed. “yes. i said that.”
“so you’re pissed that i saw simon walker because you think he would hit on me?” she asked.
who wouldn’t hit on you he thought.
“he’s that type of guy,” sark replied. “simon walker is an arse. he doesn’t know how to treat a woman.”
“you’re worried that he touched me? you’d kill him if he did?”
“you know the answer to that. i’m not going to say yes just so you can feel good about yourself,” he scoffed, sitting on the edge of his bed. “yes, i think you’re hot. sexy. you know that. i’m not going to give you the satisfaction you want.”
“really?”
she stepped toward him and sat on his lap, grounding her hips into him. he moaned slightly but pushed her off.
“really.”
sydney scoffed.
“you want to f*** me right now. so what the hell are you doing?”
“i told you. i’m not going to satisfy you whenever you feel you need it,” he replied.
“you realise that leaves you to satisfy yourself?” she asked.
“oh shut it,” he sighed.
“you’re such a dick sometimes, you know that?!” she exclaimed. “i f***ing wait for you in lingerie. i throw myself at you. how can you be so cruel? you just toss me aside like i’m nothing. go to hell.”
she crossed her arms and stared out the open window, compartmentalising as fast as she could.
“you always yell at me for being a dick or an ***hole or something,” sark said as he stood, “but you keep coming back. you complain about how i’m an arse and then you come back to me again in lingerie, or you stick your hands down my pants or something like that. if you really think i’m such a dick you don’t have to be here. if me being who i am overrides the fact that you adore how much i pamper you, then get the hell out. stop f***ing complaining, okay? stay or leave. one or the other. but stop vacillating back and forth. i can’t handle this. when i kept tabs on you, i always noticed how determined you were, how you knew exactly what you were doing, exactly what you wanted. what happened to that sydney?”
“well when i knew exactly what i wanted and exactly what i was doing, it was taking down people like you. i knew exactly what i was doing when i still had danny and francie and will. i knew exactly what i was doing when i still had my father. i knew exactly what i was doing when i could trust people. when i had people who loved me. what now? i have nothing now. i have you? i’m supposed to trust you? to live with you? and to just be fine with that? be fine with being attracted to you? how am i supposed to do that? deep down i know i’m supposed to hate you. i know that you are evil that you kill people and it would be better for the world if i got rid of you. but here i am. i’m living with you. and i’m just supposed to accept that? i’m supposed to stay determined and still know exactly what i am doing and exactly what i want? how the hell am i supposed to do that?” she exclaimed, holding tears down.
“i don’t know!” he yelled. she was the only one who could make him raise his voice so easily. “i don’t know! i can’t bloody help you! but what am i supposed to do? tell you everything is going to be fine? tell you it’s all going to work out? it never works out. there is never a happy ending. if you want to take me down, take me down. if you are attracted to me, bloody be attracted to me. don’t f***ing go against yourself. that’s the only way i know how to live, sydney! i do what my mind tells me to. i don’t overanalyse; i don’t take time to sit back and contemplate if i am making the right decision. if you want something, you just have to go for it, whether you know what is going to come of it or not. i can’t fix things for you, love. i can’t answer your questions. the only thing that i can tell you is that i care about you and i want you here with me. you f***ing amaze me, you realise that?! so i’m not going to stop and think about the consequences of being with you. i’m not going to stop and wonder what will happen tomorrow or next week or next month or next year because of something i do today. i’ve never been one to analyse. i make an informed decision, and yes, i act on impulse. what the hell else am i supposed to do? i’m not going to push you away because i’m not sure what will happen. so why the hell are you pushing me away? why do you need to process this all out? you make split second decisions all the time in the field, so make one know. figure out if you want to be with me or not, this moment, right now. choose if you are going to stay here with me or if you are going to walk out that door. no matter which one you pick, you can never bloody look back!”
his breathe was heavy and hard. his face was flushed. his heart was beating inside his head.
she looked at him, stepped toward him.
“no. don’t come near me. not until you decide,” sark growled, backing up and lying on the bed.
he rolled over so he wasn’t looking at her.

she left the room.

sark’s heart dropped to the floor.
“she left? she bloody left?” he asked the empty room.
he knew she loved their relationship just as much as he did, or at least, he thought he had known. it surprised him that she chose to leave; not to mention how deeply sad it made him. but it didn’t matter. it was her choice. he could still keep tabs on her; he could still infuriate her. just because she didn’t live with him didn’t mean he couldn’t do those things.
he closed his eyes and burrowed down to go to sleep. the door to his bedroom opened. sydney came in and climbed into bed with him.
“i thought you’d left,” he said.
“no, i just needed to change out of the lingerie. those clothes aren’t exactly comfortable, you know?” she replied.
he chuckled and turned off the lights, ready to sleep.
she rolled on top of him and kissed him deeply. as soon as she pulled away he laughed.
“remember how i wasn’t going to satisfy you tonight?”
“we’ll see about that.”
she continued to make out with him for a good twenty minutes. eventually when she came up for breath, she didn’t go back. she rolled back to his side. he wrapped an arm around her. her head found its way into the nook where his shoulder met his neck.
this wasn’t how the relationship was supposed to go, he thought. she’s supposed to hate me but the sex is supposed to be amazing. that’s how it’s supposed to be. she's not supposed to want to live with me. she’s supposed to hate me but love to f*** me. that’s how it’s supposed to be. what the hell do i do now? go to sleep with her curled in my arms? jesus, this isn’t going the way it is supposed to. but still, with sydney bristow sleeping next to you, with sydney bristow nestling herself into you, what the hell are you doing complaining?


hope you like. for those of you who know the movie "empire records", i couldn't help but use "not entirely perfect". :smiley: i'm an empire records nerd.
i'm still in france so i can't even get the next chapter to meg until the beginning of august. but i will. i promise. as fast as i can.

m-c
 
It worked for me :smiley:.

Sydney at first you don't suceed, try and try again! Sark and Sydney sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G...

Yes Sark why are you complaining?
 
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