A/N: Ok, this started as a joke thing in an email conversation with a friend. Then it morphed, mutated, grew and here it is presented to you in all it's dim glory:
Three Tragic Heroes in a Bar
By Sakhmet
Genre: Humour.
Disclaimer: I own no part of what follows though I did cause it.
Various tragic heroes who save the world a lot but don't really get recognised OR are recognised but don’t welcome the fame are sitting in a bar.
Cast:
Sydney Bristow (Alias)
Buffy Summers (Buffy: the Vampire Slayer)
Harry Potter (Harry Potter Series)
On family, air hockey, justice and quite possibly llamas… or Pokemon…
Harry: My parents are dead... boohoo.
Sydney: You got it lucky kid; I keep thinking my parents are one
thing but they just keep popping up and it's like 'Oh, you're not an
airplane part salesman! Or hey, mom you're not dead! Or maybe even,
what the hell Sloane could be my father? Or I HAVE A SISTER?'
Buffy: At least you're parents know what you DO. Mine think I'm some
inane cheerleader slash juvenile delinquent. (obviously in the first season of BtVS)
Harry: (who's a big fan of BtVS) Yeah, and that whole Dawn thing.
Buffy: What?
Harry: You know the whole deal about Dawn?
Buffy: Yes, I know the sun rises.
Harry: Wait but-
Sydney: Hey Harry, shut up before you ruin the plot for her. I know
Sirius died and everything but it doesn't mean you can just-
Harry: What? SIRIUS DIED?
Sydney: Oh felgercarb, sorry, I mean, no Sirius doesn’t die! He… uh-
Harry: You sleep with Will!
Sydney: What the hell? I'm with Vaughn, Will and I are just friends.
Harry: *laughs* oh I could blow you're world right open-
Buffy: Hey guys the air hockey table is free!
Sydney: Great! Your ass is mine Potter!
Buffy: No fair! I was the one who noticed the table was free, I should go first.
Sydney: Oh boohoo, you’ll get your turn.
Buffy: No! I should go first! We all fight for the good guys right? You’re both all big on justice right?
Syd/Har: Yeah…
Buffy: SO I SHOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TO USE THE FRICKING AIR HOCKEY TABLE! Syd, I challenge you to a-
Harry: Pokemon battle!
Sydney: That sounds like more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont!
Silence
Sydney: Ok, wrong show, wrong situation
Buffy: And just plain wrong.
Sydney: Let’s play air hockey.
~Some Time Later~
Sydney: That’s one bar I’m never going to again, I mean, the nerve of them charging twenty five hundred dollars for a couple of drinks.
Buffy: We broke their air hockey table, what did you expect?
Sydney: Hey! I thought the guy said I could pay for the table or never return!
Harry: AND never return, AND.
Sydney: Damn.
Harry and Buffy begin to walk off
Sydney: Hey, why am I the one being stuck with paying for the table? You guys broke it too!
Harry: Did not!
Sydney: I beg to differ; you and your little blocking spell caused Miss Super Slayer over there to get cranky and execute a particularly forceful hit which, I might add, bounced off the blocking spell and hit me in the forehead.
Buffy: This is so not my fault, you didn’t have to get all premen-
Harry: I BEG YOU LEAVE THAT WORD UNFINISHED! MY TEENAGE BRAIN CANNOT COPE WITH SUCH THINGS!
Buffy: Whatever, you didn’t have to go all super spy and throw your hitty-thing at me-
Sydney: You didn’t have to leap onto the table and challenge me to a real fight!
Buffy: YOU didn’t have to leap onto the table and karate chop me!
Harry: It was pretty cool.
Buffy: You! Quiet!
Sydney: This is all your fault anyway, it was your little joke “I know, I’ll put a spell over Sydney’s goal so Buffy can’t win! I’m so cool!”
Buffy: Don’t you have something better to do? Like ride your little broom-
Sydney: Wait! Don’t you have a fortune in wizarding money?
Harry: Damn JK, telling people about my money! THAT’S ALL YOU WANT ME FOR ISN’T IT?
Sydney: I don’t know how to answer that without sounding creepy.
Buffy: Hey look, a llama!
Sydney and Buffy turn to admire the llama, with its pretty fur.
Harry: Phew, saved by the llama.
I had to add the llama in somewhere. I know it’s lame. I don’t care though. Now review.
Hehe, I was bored. Don't judge me.
Three Tragic Heroes in a Bar
By Sakhmet
Genre: Humour.
Disclaimer: I own no part of what follows though I did cause it.
Various tragic heroes who save the world a lot but don't really get recognised OR are recognised but don’t welcome the fame are sitting in a bar.
Cast:
Sydney Bristow (Alias)
Buffy Summers (Buffy: the Vampire Slayer)
Harry Potter (Harry Potter Series)
On family, air hockey, justice and quite possibly llamas… or Pokemon…
Harry: My parents are dead... boohoo.
Sydney: You got it lucky kid; I keep thinking my parents are one
thing but they just keep popping up and it's like 'Oh, you're not an
airplane part salesman! Or hey, mom you're not dead! Or maybe even,
what the hell Sloane could be my father? Or I HAVE A SISTER?'
Buffy: At least you're parents know what you DO. Mine think I'm some
inane cheerleader slash juvenile delinquent. (obviously in the first season of BtVS)
Harry: (who's a big fan of BtVS) Yeah, and that whole Dawn thing.
Buffy: What?
Harry: You know the whole deal about Dawn?
Buffy: Yes, I know the sun rises.
Harry: Wait but-
Sydney: Hey Harry, shut up before you ruin the plot for her. I know
Sirius died and everything but it doesn't mean you can just-
Harry: What? SIRIUS DIED?
Sydney: Oh felgercarb, sorry, I mean, no Sirius doesn’t die! He… uh-
Harry: You sleep with Will!
Sydney: What the hell? I'm with Vaughn, Will and I are just friends.
Harry: *laughs* oh I could blow you're world right open-
Buffy: Hey guys the air hockey table is free!
Sydney: Great! Your ass is mine Potter!
Buffy: No fair! I was the one who noticed the table was free, I should go first.
Sydney: Oh boohoo, you’ll get your turn.
Buffy: No! I should go first! We all fight for the good guys right? You’re both all big on justice right?
Syd/Har: Yeah…
Buffy: SO I SHOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TO USE THE FRICKING AIR HOCKEY TABLE! Syd, I challenge you to a-
Harry: Pokemon battle!
Sydney: That sounds like more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont!
Silence
Sydney: Ok, wrong show, wrong situation
Buffy: And just plain wrong.
Sydney: Let’s play air hockey.
~Some Time Later~
Sydney: That’s one bar I’m never going to again, I mean, the nerve of them charging twenty five hundred dollars for a couple of drinks.
Buffy: We broke their air hockey table, what did you expect?
Sydney: Hey! I thought the guy said I could pay for the table or never return!
Harry: AND never return, AND.
Sydney: Damn.
Harry and Buffy begin to walk off
Sydney: Hey, why am I the one being stuck with paying for the table? You guys broke it too!
Harry: Did not!
Sydney: I beg to differ; you and your little blocking spell caused Miss Super Slayer over there to get cranky and execute a particularly forceful hit which, I might add, bounced off the blocking spell and hit me in the forehead.
Buffy: This is so not my fault, you didn’t have to get all premen-
Harry: I BEG YOU LEAVE THAT WORD UNFINISHED! MY TEENAGE BRAIN CANNOT COPE WITH SUCH THINGS!
Buffy: Whatever, you didn’t have to go all super spy and throw your hitty-thing at me-
Sydney: You didn’t have to leap onto the table and challenge me to a real fight!
Buffy: YOU didn’t have to leap onto the table and karate chop me!
Harry: It was pretty cool.
Buffy: You! Quiet!
Sydney: This is all your fault anyway, it was your little joke “I know, I’ll put a spell over Sydney’s goal so Buffy can’t win! I’m so cool!”
Buffy: Don’t you have something better to do? Like ride your little broom-
Sydney: Wait! Don’t you have a fortune in wizarding money?
Harry: Damn JK, telling people about my money! THAT’S ALL YOU WANT ME FOR ISN’T IT?
Sydney: I don’t know how to answer that without sounding creepy.
Buffy: Hey look, a llama!
Sydney and Buffy turn to admire the llama, with its pretty fur.
Harry: Phew, saved by the llama.
I had to add the llama in somewhere. I know it’s lame. I don’t care though. Now review.
Hehe, I was bored. Don't judge me.
