Chapter Nine
I decide to go home and relax. So much has happened in the last few days that I just need to be in my thoughts without any distractions.
Whenever I need to unwind or make a decision I write in my journal. So I pull it out of the drawer in my bedside table and write.
Life isn’t what it seems to be. It has many rules regarding fair play, yet there are so few that people follow. If life were a game, then you’d be able to win or lose. But it isn’t a game because you can’t win and no one ever plays by the rules.
Vaughn’s death was so hard on me; but this - this indecision, this confusion of not knowing what to do is even harder. The fact that I might be able to bring him back to me just blows me away. But it doesn’t just end there. It ends with immortality for him and death for me. There is no right and wrong here, no black and white, no distinct path and there is no guide. There is nothing.
I do not believe in a life after death, so to me, Vaughn is nowhere. He is just dead. And I’m here, in this life, trying to live, but dying inside because I’d rather be gone than living here without him.
This is a decision not easily made. But can I make it? Yes, because I must.
End of Chapter Nine