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Just A Mechanic

Discussion in 'Sci-Fi, Horror, and Fantasy Talk' started by Tom, Feb 4, 2005.

  1. Tom

    Tom An Old Friend

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Location:
    Gulf Coast
    Well, Here's another stab at writing. Skwirl is on the way to an encounter he doesn't want but an encounter he desperatly needs. Looks can be decieving and so can jobs. RED DOG 90 is just as bad as it seems and it will be a struggle just to keep it in pocket.
     
  2. Tim

    Tim Creative Writer

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Location:
    England
    i'm working on formatting this correctly, won't change the story, leaving the dialects as thoughts alone as it's 1st person.

    i think we need to get you an office typists training package to start with, so you know how to format paragraphs and use punctuation and spacing correctly.guess at your age now, they weren't teaching blokes to use office computer software for writing when you were still in school. at 32 now, my last two years in school were on BBC Model B's, then i got to move onto P1's and wordstar/multimate/wang next year at college. this 'probably' means you didn't learn these skills at school and unless you have taken any refresher training, night school or even personal exp[loration into word processing programs and correct format, you might have missed out on that bit!

    i'll finish spacing and correcting punctuation on this piece later on tonight and get it posted on here for you to look at.
     
  3. Tom

    Tom An Old Friend

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Location:
    Gulf Coast
    At the time I was just punchin keys and wasn't very concerned with punctuation. I know I was having some trouble with getting the effects of pauses and I wasn't sure about new paragraphing. I was just trying to get an idea down. It will be interesting to put the two side by side when you get done so I can see. Thanx MrD!
     
  4. Tim

    Tim Creative Writer

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Location:
    England
    well, it was tough going. I'm not sure how to deal with all the thoughts from the main character from 1st person perspective, i think any quote marks shouldn't be there.

    i left the dialect in there, although i think i'd prefer to use dialect only in speech, except when making a transcription of an aural presentation. Like in museums where you have those units with headphones and you hit the button to hear "an authentic style commentary by a fictional character who lived in the time period"

    i corrected some spelling mistakes, took one swear word out (this sites family guidelines and my own internal arguing over swearing where you can use normal sounding words (from this time period) as swearing in a future environment)

    very slow reading due to the format, sometimes i couldn't detect the owner of text in quotes as belonging to specific characters speech or thoughts.
     

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