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Through Vaughn's Eye's

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by IluvVaughn13, Mar 20, 2003.

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  1. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    Chapter 1

    *The Begining* Rated PG-13


    The cold rain hit my face has I looked down at my father grave. I held my tears back not wanting my mother to see them. It was hard for her and I didn't want to make it worse. I wanted her to know I was going to be the stronge one. Since his death I wanted to take after him at the CIA. I was proud to be his son, and wanted to take after him. My family didn't want me to because of what happen, I felt I needed to do this.

    It was a Monday when I enter the bulding. I met up with another new agent named Weiss. He seemed like a big joker, but It felt nice to laugh. I had to sit in meetings all day and listen to boring lectures. Later that day we met up with senior agents. I first intorduced myself to Jack Bristow, he was a very serious man. I knew thats what this job was all about.

    After a few months I got in the working mode, my office was big and very plain. I put a picture of my family and of my new girlfriend Alice on my desk. Everything seemed to be going well, this was a great start for me. At lunch everyday Weiss and I would go down to this french resturant to get these really good sandwiches that we really liked.

    Weiss always wanted me to get to know other girl, since me and Alice were having problems. Latley we have been fighting, over dumd things. I guess it's not a perfect relationship, but I do like Alice alot. Tonight Weiss wants me to go with him to this new bar down town, Im not much of a party person, but I said yes.
    ok i hope you like it
     
  2. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Interesting. This is a new approach, but there's just too little for me to critique.

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  3. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    oo write more for me to read.
    i like it so far
     
  4. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    I think it moved a little fast.... Like "I met an agent Weiss" "I heard about a man named Arvin Sloane" "I saw a woman with bright red hair" A little abrupt too. Just slow down, take your time.
     
  5. Vaughn_Lovah

    Vaughn_Lovah Vaughn's Chin Fondler

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    my mama
    hehehe i like i like. ^_^
     
  6. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    thanks for the advice aliaschick4mv
     
  7. Alias*Kelli

    Alias*Kelli Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2003
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    I love it!~
     
  8. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    hehe me lik-y
     
  9. freedoms

    freedoms Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2003
    That was great! I can't wait for more! Please update again soon!
     
  10. Scarlet Crystal

    Scarlet Crystal Bibbity Rabbity

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Location:
    Narnia
    good start. write more soon.
     
  11. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    I agree with aliaschick4mv. Maybe if you went back and got into a little more detail...

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  12. Kristina

    Kristina Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Location:
    CHICAGO
    I like it! keep going. :D
     
  13. vartansgrl

    vartansgrl Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    North Bergen, NJ
    yea i like it too! i hope you post more soon
     
  14. Alias*Kelli

    Alias*Kelli Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2003
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Come on I'm in school right now and like no one is on and I'm dying for something to read!~
     
  15. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    ok I fixed the story its a little different now
     
  16. Vaughn_Lovah

    Vaughn_Lovah Vaughn's Chin Fondler

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    my mama
    ooooh I like the change. This will probably make it last longer.
     
  17. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    Thanks for the nice comment
     
  18. Aliasfan23

    Aliasfan23 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2003
    Location:
    LA
    this is good...keep writing
     
  19. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I like it so far!
     
  20. Absta

    Absta Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    I hope you right more soon!!!
     

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