A/N: This is Sydney's POV during the last scene of "Facade." Please read, review, and enjoy!
A Revelation
The elevator touches down, and I step out on solid ground after the longest day of twists and turns, neverending cycles of deceitful plotting and strategizing, whirlwinds of shock, worry, and heartache that have left me in a jumbled emotional mess. It's a wonder that the ground doesn't crumble beneath me to complete this day with a final disaster.
I walk towards my car in the nearly empty parking lot using every technique I know to compartmentalize the countless emotions waging battle with my rational mind. Come on. A few more steps. Don't feel. Don't even think. Just do. Get in the car...
My body doesn't listen as I wearily brace myself against my car. My rational side is losing badly. The onslaught that it is facing is like nothing it has ever before had to experience. It is being trashed so thoroughly that I finally feel the full weight of the burden that I have been hiding behind a brave front all day. Its size is too great to keep in a tightly wrapped bundle stuffed deep inside me any longer, and so against my remaining feeble attempts to prevent the waves from bursting forth, I am drowned in a sudden rush of feeling.
I break.
Everything that I have been feeling streams out in hot tears - the guilt, the fear, the pain all tumble over each other to be set free down my cheeks. The man I love almost died because of me. My mistake...my weakness nearly cost him his life. I cannot believe that I practically admitted to Ryan that I was the one who killed his brother. I had to spill my selfish guilt to him, and it only put Vaughn in further danger. How could I have been so stupid? It should have been me on that plane, doomed to explode and fade back into the past, not Vaughn. He didn't deserve to be put in harm's way. It was my fault. I should have been the one to suffer.
The sound of an approaching car barely registers in my grief-stricken mind. It takes several seconds for the flow of my tears to ebb. I force them back and try to salvage what is left of my cold, emotionless Agent Bristow exterior. As I turn to face whoever is exiting the car, however, brushing the remaining evidence of pain from my eyes, I fail. Agent Bristow is gone, and Sydney is here to stay. The one person, the only person who has the power to break through my facade, to find the cause for my wounds and then banish it is here. The man I love has come home, alive and safe. The man I love is studying me with an expression that I recognize from the rainy night so long ago when I discovered my father's betrayal. The man I love...
"Vaughn."
My voice comes out in a whimper, but it is all he needs to hear. We are together in an instant, his arms wrapped protectively around me, mine seeking to draw from his strength. He is here for me again, just like he always used to be. Tears of relief spring to my eyes, and I don't even try to contain them. I want to feel. I need to feel. I smile in spite of myself at the thought that Vaughn's warm touch is still capable of melting my every worry. His loving grasp heals me, and I feel more deeply connected to him than ever before. I hold onto him for dear life for fear that if I let go, his presence will be replaced with only the memory of his touch. He holds me just as tightly, not willing to let this moment pass.
He and I are all there is in this eternal moment. The cold world around us shimmers then disappears as all of my senses consume only him. He keeps me grounded, prevents me from fading with our surroundings, and then I know. By letting myself feel him, I know how he feels. It is so obvious that I cannot understand how I could have been unsure about this for so long, but that doesn't matter now. Now, I know.
The man I love loves me.
A Revelation
The elevator touches down, and I step out on solid ground after the longest day of twists and turns, neverending cycles of deceitful plotting and strategizing, whirlwinds of shock, worry, and heartache that have left me in a jumbled emotional mess. It's a wonder that the ground doesn't crumble beneath me to complete this day with a final disaster.
I walk towards my car in the nearly empty parking lot using every technique I know to compartmentalize the countless emotions waging battle with my rational mind. Come on. A few more steps. Don't feel. Don't even think. Just do. Get in the car...
My body doesn't listen as I wearily brace myself against my car. My rational side is losing badly. The onslaught that it is facing is like nothing it has ever before had to experience. It is being trashed so thoroughly that I finally feel the full weight of the burden that I have been hiding behind a brave front all day. Its size is too great to keep in a tightly wrapped bundle stuffed deep inside me any longer, and so against my remaining feeble attempts to prevent the waves from bursting forth, I am drowned in a sudden rush of feeling.
I break.
Everything that I have been feeling streams out in hot tears - the guilt, the fear, the pain all tumble over each other to be set free down my cheeks. The man I love almost died because of me. My mistake...my weakness nearly cost him his life. I cannot believe that I practically admitted to Ryan that I was the one who killed his brother. I had to spill my selfish guilt to him, and it only put Vaughn in further danger. How could I have been so stupid? It should have been me on that plane, doomed to explode and fade back into the past, not Vaughn. He didn't deserve to be put in harm's way. It was my fault. I should have been the one to suffer.
The sound of an approaching car barely registers in my grief-stricken mind. It takes several seconds for the flow of my tears to ebb. I force them back and try to salvage what is left of my cold, emotionless Agent Bristow exterior. As I turn to face whoever is exiting the car, however, brushing the remaining evidence of pain from my eyes, I fail. Agent Bristow is gone, and Sydney is here to stay. The one person, the only person who has the power to break through my facade, to find the cause for my wounds and then banish it is here. The man I love has come home, alive and safe. The man I love is studying me with an expression that I recognize from the rainy night so long ago when I discovered my father's betrayal. The man I love...
"Vaughn."
My voice comes out in a whimper, but it is all he needs to hear. We are together in an instant, his arms wrapped protectively around me, mine seeking to draw from his strength. He is here for me again, just like he always used to be. Tears of relief spring to my eyes, and I don't even try to contain them. I want to feel. I need to feel. I smile in spite of myself at the thought that Vaughn's warm touch is still capable of melting my every worry. His loving grasp heals me, and I feel more deeply connected to him than ever before. I hold onto him for dear life for fear that if I let go, his presence will be replaced with only the memory of his touch. He holds me just as tightly, not willing to let this moment pass.
He and I are all there is in this eternal moment. The cold world around us shimmers then disappears as all of my senses consume only him. He keeps me grounded, prevents me from fading with our surroundings, and then I know. By letting myself feel him, I know how he feels. It is so obvious that I cannot understand how I could have been unsure about this for so long, but that doesn't matter now. Now, I know.
The man I love loves me.
