So this is my one parter for the December fanfic contest and I hope you like it 
Title: Almost perfect
Word count: 1669
A/N: This story is written from Sydney perspective.
Almost perfect
I sit by the windowsill. I look outside but see nothing. My head rests against the cold glass but I feel nothing. The snow is probably still falling but I wouldn’t know. It’s just an assumption because it had been since noon but either way it doesn’t impress me. It’s Christmas again and unlike most I can not rejoice. Like always I carefully hold the locket containing a picture of a man and a woman in my hand as if afraid it would break just the way I am broken. It’s been a year since I’ve looked at their faces on those two tiny photographs but it’s not like I need to. Their images have burned deep into my memory. I can still recall the soft sent of Christmas tree mixed with gingerbread filling their entire house during the holiday. I will probably never forget their kind unsuspecting smiles when they took me in as their own. I played a great victim all the while putting together peaces of my plan of action. I spent a week there getting to know them. I couldn’t understand why anyone would consider them to be a threat but it wasn’t my place to ask. I always chose to know as little about my targets as I could. Made it easier to forget simple as that. Their son wasn’t able to come home for the holidays that year so it was just the three of us. They showed me pictures but I only pretended to look because I didn’t want to see. Thinking back on it now it would have saved me from guilt but also robbed me of a chance at happiness. I took care of it smoothly and staged an accident. There was not a trace of doubt in anyone’s mind that it had been anything but. I cried my first tear for the loss of life that night but shook it of immediately reminding myself that this had been my ticket out. I was free in a way a person condemned to captivity can be. They left me alone but nothing could ever erase my past or this particular hit. The rest have become hazy with years to point of not caring but this last one is and always would be different. They were after all Michael Vaughn’s parents.
When they approached me eight years ago there was no fancy speech about serving your country. They told me straightforward I was to know as little as I wanted and as much as it was safe to say. I was never to see my employer or have any information about their intentions. Everything was to be organized trough a contact and in case of capture no one would come to my rescue. I took the job not caring whose battle I was fighting in my own need to escape my dull existence. Nothing truly brought me joy and I felt empty in this life surrounded by people. To everyone else I became a journalist whose job was to travel the globe and write about different locations but truthfully to this day I don’t know whose words were published under my name. What I really did and went trough is a complicated truth and only mine to bear. I became an agent and no one expected me to write articles in addition to studying and spying. I spent six months in intense training barely managing to keep my personal life from completely falling apart. My boyfriend left me because we almost never saw each other. He wouldn’t listen when I said this is only temporary and I finally noticed that the man I had thought so highly of was nothing special. But the following four years were also a great learning experience for me. I matured in a way I never thought possible and learned the true meaning of responsibility. I begun to appreciate little things in my life that I had never bothered to notice and plan my time not wasting a single minute without meaning. I loved the adrenaline rush, travelling and the chance to be someone else. I lived on the loss and suffering of others all the while appreciating life in its beauty and sorrow.
I quit because I got caught on one of my missions. I was tortured and barely made it out alive. But it’s not the action itself that caused my decision but the realisation it brought. I spent two months lying in the hospital surprisingly on their expense. The only other person I got to see during my stay besides doctors was my contact. It was his job to keep an eye on me but we were also friends in the only way that two people under given circumstances could be. He was my comfort and escape from stiff existence and yet we knew nothing of one another and were never to know. He was there partly out of compassion all though keeping me company was not his choice to make. But other than that there was nothing else to do but read think and make up stories of places I might never get to see. After all those waiting for me back home thought I was somewhere in Africa working on an article expecting to hear of my adventures upon my delayed return. I even got to write them twice never before having realised how easy it is to lye trough a piece of paper no matter the guilt you feel for keeping them in the dark. Never before had my secrecy bothered me but now I yearned for them to know because if something was to happen I’d be lost to them without a trace or true explanation leaving behind nothing but a memory and heartache. I felt inexplicable loneliness and having hard time fighting it of I asked for a way out. I healed they sent me on my last mission without so much as an attempt to make me change my mind and wrote me a resume as a parting gift. It was over.
To this day I don’t know why they found it important to inform me it was I who had been responsible for Vaughn’s parents death. If they were afraid of me speaking about my past actions I have never had such intentions. Besides why would I want to ruin something beautiful in the name of complete honesty knowing what it might cost me. Either way they sent me a locket containing two tiny pictures within for Christmas making it a constant reminder for one day in the year that my past would always be there. You can imagine my shock upon learning the truth but it was too late to walk away by then. Unnoticeably to myself I had become dependant in my own way on Vaughn’s existence beside me and I loved him. Naturally it was hard to look at him for some time but I coped soon enough to the point where seeing him didn’t bring forth the feeling of guilt and my feelings for him managed to overshadow the inconvenient truth. Despite of what I had done it didn’t stop me from being happy with him. And yet joyful faces of family and friends around Christmas were too much for bear. After all there are only so many smiles I can fake while the only thing I desire is to be left alone incapable of sharing their excitement feeling numb and immune to what surrounded me. I saw and witnessed everything but felt nothing. It was like sitting in the movie theatre wishing to take part in the action knowing I never could no matter how strong the desire. So I figured going away to be the best escape even if that meant missing out on moms cooking. Without surprise Vaughn protested at first liking tradition but unable neither to change my mind nor let me go by myself he caved in. So here we are together in the beautiful snowy Switzerland.
I hear footsteps coming form the hallway. I get up and without a rush hide the locket so he wouldn’t find it. I sit down on the edge of the bed and calmly wait preparing myself for another round of fake smiles. I see his sparkling green eyes in the doorway and the act is on. He takes me to a nice restaurant and as we sit there I can easily tell he’s nervous though trying hardest to act normal. I see trough his little pretend but don’t let it show finding him cute for the way he is. And then without further delay unable to wait Michael gets down on one knee and proposes. I see a beautiful diamond ring before me amazed yet again how much it resembles the one I had once described to him. He remembered I think to myself and put on one of my best performances yet. Unfortunately I had known of his intentions for the past two months accidentally having found the ring he had considered cleverly hidden. So I cry a few tears of joy and giggle out of surprise. I pull him into a warm tender kiss and as he slips the ring on my finger I see the tension lifting of his shoulders. We both sit back down across from one another and gazing into his green eyes so deep I can see the love reflecting back. Ironically I had been the one to cause him sorrow before we even met and he saved from mine. Except for Christmas I am content and he will always be to thank for my newfound strength. So that night I fall asleep in his arms glad to have survived yet another holiday. Tomorrow I would wake up as a new person. Not changed or rid of my past knowing there was no escape from myself but just more accepting in the future of the simple truth that my life will always only be almost perfect.
The end.
Title: Almost perfect
Word count: 1669
A/N: This story is written from Sydney perspective.
Almost perfect
I sit by the windowsill. I look outside but see nothing. My head rests against the cold glass but I feel nothing. The snow is probably still falling but I wouldn’t know. It’s just an assumption because it had been since noon but either way it doesn’t impress me. It’s Christmas again and unlike most I can not rejoice. Like always I carefully hold the locket containing a picture of a man and a woman in my hand as if afraid it would break just the way I am broken. It’s been a year since I’ve looked at their faces on those two tiny photographs but it’s not like I need to. Their images have burned deep into my memory. I can still recall the soft sent of Christmas tree mixed with gingerbread filling their entire house during the holiday. I will probably never forget their kind unsuspecting smiles when they took me in as their own. I played a great victim all the while putting together peaces of my plan of action. I spent a week there getting to know them. I couldn’t understand why anyone would consider them to be a threat but it wasn’t my place to ask. I always chose to know as little about my targets as I could. Made it easier to forget simple as that. Their son wasn’t able to come home for the holidays that year so it was just the three of us. They showed me pictures but I only pretended to look because I didn’t want to see. Thinking back on it now it would have saved me from guilt but also robbed me of a chance at happiness. I took care of it smoothly and staged an accident. There was not a trace of doubt in anyone’s mind that it had been anything but. I cried my first tear for the loss of life that night but shook it of immediately reminding myself that this had been my ticket out. I was free in a way a person condemned to captivity can be. They left me alone but nothing could ever erase my past or this particular hit. The rest have become hazy with years to point of not caring but this last one is and always would be different. They were after all Michael Vaughn’s parents.
When they approached me eight years ago there was no fancy speech about serving your country. They told me straightforward I was to know as little as I wanted and as much as it was safe to say. I was never to see my employer or have any information about their intentions. Everything was to be organized trough a contact and in case of capture no one would come to my rescue. I took the job not caring whose battle I was fighting in my own need to escape my dull existence. Nothing truly brought me joy and I felt empty in this life surrounded by people. To everyone else I became a journalist whose job was to travel the globe and write about different locations but truthfully to this day I don’t know whose words were published under my name. What I really did and went trough is a complicated truth and only mine to bear. I became an agent and no one expected me to write articles in addition to studying and spying. I spent six months in intense training barely managing to keep my personal life from completely falling apart. My boyfriend left me because we almost never saw each other. He wouldn’t listen when I said this is only temporary and I finally noticed that the man I had thought so highly of was nothing special. But the following four years were also a great learning experience for me. I matured in a way I never thought possible and learned the true meaning of responsibility. I begun to appreciate little things in my life that I had never bothered to notice and plan my time not wasting a single minute without meaning. I loved the adrenaline rush, travelling and the chance to be someone else. I lived on the loss and suffering of others all the while appreciating life in its beauty and sorrow.
I quit because I got caught on one of my missions. I was tortured and barely made it out alive. But it’s not the action itself that caused my decision but the realisation it brought. I spent two months lying in the hospital surprisingly on their expense. The only other person I got to see during my stay besides doctors was my contact. It was his job to keep an eye on me but we were also friends in the only way that two people under given circumstances could be. He was my comfort and escape from stiff existence and yet we knew nothing of one another and were never to know. He was there partly out of compassion all though keeping me company was not his choice to make. But other than that there was nothing else to do but read think and make up stories of places I might never get to see. After all those waiting for me back home thought I was somewhere in Africa working on an article expecting to hear of my adventures upon my delayed return. I even got to write them twice never before having realised how easy it is to lye trough a piece of paper no matter the guilt you feel for keeping them in the dark. Never before had my secrecy bothered me but now I yearned for them to know because if something was to happen I’d be lost to them without a trace or true explanation leaving behind nothing but a memory and heartache. I felt inexplicable loneliness and having hard time fighting it of I asked for a way out. I healed they sent me on my last mission without so much as an attempt to make me change my mind and wrote me a resume as a parting gift. It was over.
To this day I don’t know why they found it important to inform me it was I who had been responsible for Vaughn’s parents death. If they were afraid of me speaking about my past actions I have never had such intentions. Besides why would I want to ruin something beautiful in the name of complete honesty knowing what it might cost me. Either way they sent me a locket containing two tiny pictures within for Christmas making it a constant reminder for one day in the year that my past would always be there. You can imagine my shock upon learning the truth but it was too late to walk away by then. Unnoticeably to myself I had become dependant in my own way on Vaughn’s existence beside me and I loved him. Naturally it was hard to look at him for some time but I coped soon enough to the point where seeing him didn’t bring forth the feeling of guilt and my feelings for him managed to overshadow the inconvenient truth. Despite of what I had done it didn’t stop me from being happy with him. And yet joyful faces of family and friends around Christmas were too much for bear. After all there are only so many smiles I can fake while the only thing I desire is to be left alone incapable of sharing their excitement feeling numb and immune to what surrounded me. I saw and witnessed everything but felt nothing. It was like sitting in the movie theatre wishing to take part in the action knowing I never could no matter how strong the desire. So I figured going away to be the best escape even if that meant missing out on moms cooking. Without surprise Vaughn protested at first liking tradition but unable neither to change my mind nor let me go by myself he caved in. So here we are together in the beautiful snowy Switzerland.
I hear footsteps coming form the hallway. I get up and without a rush hide the locket so he wouldn’t find it. I sit down on the edge of the bed and calmly wait preparing myself for another round of fake smiles. I see his sparkling green eyes in the doorway and the act is on. He takes me to a nice restaurant and as we sit there I can easily tell he’s nervous though trying hardest to act normal. I see trough his little pretend but don’t let it show finding him cute for the way he is. And then without further delay unable to wait Michael gets down on one knee and proposes. I see a beautiful diamond ring before me amazed yet again how much it resembles the one I had once described to him. He remembered I think to myself and put on one of my best performances yet. Unfortunately I had known of his intentions for the past two months accidentally having found the ring he had considered cleverly hidden. So I cry a few tears of joy and giggle out of surprise. I pull him into a warm tender kiss and as he slips the ring on my finger I see the tension lifting of his shoulders. We both sit back down across from one another and gazing into his green eyes so deep I can see the love reflecting back. Ironically I had been the one to cause him sorrow before we even met and he saved from mine. Except for Christmas I am content and he will always be to thank for my newfound strength. So that night I fall asleep in his arms glad to have survived yet another holiday. Tomorrow I would wake up as a new person. Not changed or rid of my past knowing there was no escape from myself but just more accepting in the future of the simple truth that my life will always only be almost perfect.
The end.