Herc’s Seen ALIAS 3.1!!
Alias 3.1 FAQ
What are they called?
“The Two.”
Who’s responsible?
Teleplay is credited to series mastermind J.J. Abrams (last season’s finale and the jaw-dropping superbowl episode “Phase One”).
What does TV Guide say?
“There's hell to pay as season three sends Syd after Vaughn for giving up hope, Sloane for weaseling his way into a formal pardon and an NSC honcho for locking her father away on bogus charges. Meanwhile, the CIA needs the newly resurrected Bristow on a case that could be tied to her two-year disappearance and the recent murders of eight operatives.”
What did TV Guide reveal about this season four weeks ago?
* Daddy Jack Bristow has quit the CIA.
* Marcus Dixon now has Jack’s old job.
* Many, if not all, now think Arvin Sloane is a good guy.
* Some believe a heretofore unreferenced brotherhood of evil dubbed “The Covenant” is responsible for Syd’s two-year blackout.
* Eric Weiss is still with the agency, and becomes Syd’s new roommate.
* Marshall Flinkman is about to become a daddy, having presumably knocked up colleage Carrie Bowman.
* Will Tippin is not in the opener, but will return briefly at some point.
* Francie Calfo (or does TV Guide mean Allison “Evil Francie” Doren?), like Will, is also not in the opener, but will be back somehow.
* Justin Theroux (“Mulholland Drive”) will turn up as someone who seems to have porked Syd during her lost months.
* Lena Olin will be back as Irina Laura Derevko Bristow.
* Syd learns something that causes her to flog Vaughn silly in the third season’s opening minutes.
* 3.1 will end, naturally, with a startling revelation.
The big news?
Syd, indeed, seems startled by the episode’s final revelation. Us? Not so much.
The bigger news?
Jack’s not the only one out of the CIA. In the opening minutes we learn Vaughn, too, has left the agency and now makes his living as a teacher. (Tellingly, the profession to which Syd once aspired.)
What kind of teacher? Seventh-grade biology? Or black ops training?
We do not learn.
The far bigger news?
Sloane is back working for the CIA!
Are Syd and Sloane reunited?
Yes.
Do we learn what Sloane did with “The Telling,” a Rambaldi device made up of 47 smaller Rambaldi devices? He had it assembled at the end of last episode.
“All I did was bring all the pieces together and have it assembled. And when I turned it on, it delivered a message, as I suspected it would. I wasn't prepared for what it said. The message was just one word -- one simple word.”
Do we learn this week what that word is?
Yes.
This is what “The Telling” does? It spits out a word?
“There’s a change coming, Jack,” Sloane explained late in last season’s final hour. “I’ve seen things recently. I've seen what's possible. There's a change coming, Jack. Something even I couldn't imagine.”
Do we finally learn the unspoken thing Sloane learned from the David Carradine character?
No.
Do we finally learn what sin Sloane committed 30 years ago that led to his wife’s death?
No.
Is the “new” Sloane a “good” Sloane?
That would be telling.
What were Irina’s last words to Syd last season?
“It’s you in the prophecy, Sydney, not me. Only you can stop him. Good luck, sweetheart. I love you.”
Is that why the woman depicted in Rambaldi’s “utter desolation” warning looks so much more like Syd than Irina?
Maybe?
What was that prophecy again?
“This woman here depicted will possess unseen marks, signs that she will be the one to bring forth my works. Bind them with fury, a burning anger, unless prevented at vulgar cost. This woman will render the greatest power unto utter desolation.”
Is Irina in 3.1?
No.
Why does Syd beat Vaughn like a rented mule? Because he got married?
Kinda. Syd doesn’t believe that Vaughn is Vaughn.
How long has Dixon had Kendall’s job?
Six months.
How long has Jack been in stir?
A year. He’s been in soliatary the whole time. He looks different now. Syd becomes his first visitor since his incarceration.
Is it true they’re keeping him in Irina’s Lecter-cell?
She visits him in what looks like a different facility.
Do Syd and Weiss become roomies this week?
No. But they do head out on an op together?
Is Carrie Bowman, indeed, preggers with a little Flinkman?
She carries the Flinkman spawn, but it may not end up being called Flinkman.
Is she nervous about the size of the fetus’ head?
If she has reservations, she does not express them this week.
Who's in the third-season title credits?
Jennifer Garner. Ron Rifkin. Michael Vartan. Carl Lumbley. Kevin Weisman. Melissa George (though she's not in the opener). Grug Grunberg. David Anders (though he's not in the opener). And Victor Garber.
What’s good?
Sloane. Jack. Flinkman & Carrie. The music.
What’s not so good?
All the time we have to spend with some knife-weilding European accent-man we’ve never seen before. Sloane’s lame-ass explanation of what “The Telling” does (he better be lying). Tonight’s episode isn’t weak, exactly, but it is the weakest Abrams-scripted episode to date. “I have a lot more than a million questions. I wish I only had a million questions,” goes one of Syd’s better lines this week. “Where's my father? Or my mom? Have you heard from her since Mexico City? Vaughn said Will's alive. If there was a fire in my apartment, if he thought I was dead, how did Will survive? And where is he? And Francie -- is she dead? Did they find her body, too?” Dixon could answer most, if not all, of these questions quickly and easily. It seems bizarre, especially given the “leverage” she acquires this episode, that we don’t get all her answers by episode’s end.
How does it end, spoiler-boy?
”No!” gasps Syd.
Herc’s rating for “Alias” 3.1?
***
The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
***** better than we deserve
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins
9 p.m. Sunday. ABC.
I am – Hercules!!
Alias 3.1 FAQ
What are they called?
“The Two.”
Who’s responsible?
Teleplay is credited to series mastermind J.J. Abrams (last season’s finale and the jaw-dropping superbowl episode “Phase One”).
What does TV Guide say?
“There's hell to pay as season three sends Syd after Vaughn for giving up hope, Sloane for weaseling his way into a formal pardon and an NSC honcho for locking her father away on bogus charges. Meanwhile, the CIA needs the newly resurrected Bristow on a case that could be tied to her two-year disappearance and the recent murders of eight operatives.”
What did TV Guide reveal about this season four weeks ago?
* Daddy Jack Bristow has quit the CIA.
* Marcus Dixon now has Jack’s old job.
* Many, if not all, now think Arvin Sloane is a good guy.
* Some believe a heretofore unreferenced brotherhood of evil dubbed “The Covenant” is responsible for Syd’s two-year blackout.
* Eric Weiss is still with the agency, and becomes Syd’s new roommate.
* Marshall Flinkman is about to become a daddy, having presumably knocked up colleage Carrie Bowman.
* Will Tippin is not in the opener, but will return briefly at some point.
* Francie Calfo (or does TV Guide mean Allison “Evil Francie” Doren?), like Will, is also not in the opener, but will be back somehow.
* Justin Theroux (“Mulholland Drive”) will turn up as someone who seems to have porked Syd during her lost months.
* Lena Olin will be back as Irina Laura Derevko Bristow.
* Syd learns something that causes her to flog Vaughn silly in the third season’s opening minutes.
* 3.1 will end, naturally, with a startling revelation.
The big news?
Syd, indeed, seems startled by the episode’s final revelation. Us? Not so much.
The bigger news?
Jack’s not the only one out of the CIA. In the opening minutes we learn Vaughn, too, has left the agency and now makes his living as a teacher. (Tellingly, the profession to which Syd once aspired.)
What kind of teacher? Seventh-grade biology? Or black ops training?
We do not learn.
The far bigger news?
Sloane is back working for the CIA!
Are Syd and Sloane reunited?
Yes.
Do we learn what Sloane did with “The Telling,” a Rambaldi device made up of 47 smaller Rambaldi devices? He had it assembled at the end of last episode.
“All I did was bring all the pieces together and have it assembled. And when I turned it on, it delivered a message, as I suspected it would. I wasn't prepared for what it said. The message was just one word -- one simple word.”
Do we learn this week what that word is?
Yes.
This is what “The Telling” does? It spits out a word?
“There’s a change coming, Jack,” Sloane explained late in last season’s final hour. “I’ve seen things recently. I've seen what's possible. There's a change coming, Jack. Something even I couldn't imagine.”
Do we finally learn the unspoken thing Sloane learned from the David Carradine character?
No.
Do we finally learn what sin Sloane committed 30 years ago that led to his wife’s death?
No.
Is the “new” Sloane a “good” Sloane?
That would be telling.
What were Irina’s last words to Syd last season?
“It’s you in the prophecy, Sydney, not me. Only you can stop him. Good luck, sweetheart. I love you.”
Is that why the woman depicted in Rambaldi’s “utter desolation” warning looks so much more like Syd than Irina?
Maybe?
What was that prophecy again?
“This woman here depicted will possess unseen marks, signs that she will be the one to bring forth my works. Bind them with fury, a burning anger, unless prevented at vulgar cost. This woman will render the greatest power unto utter desolation.”
Is Irina in 3.1?
No.
Why does Syd beat Vaughn like a rented mule? Because he got married?
Kinda. Syd doesn’t believe that Vaughn is Vaughn.
How long has Dixon had Kendall’s job?
Six months.
How long has Jack been in stir?
A year. He’s been in soliatary the whole time. He looks different now. Syd becomes his first visitor since his incarceration.
Is it true they’re keeping him in Irina’s Lecter-cell?
She visits him in what looks like a different facility.
Do Syd and Weiss become roomies this week?
No. But they do head out on an op together?
Is Carrie Bowman, indeed, preggers with a little Flinkman?
She carries the Flinkman spawn, but it may not end up being called Flinkman.
Is she nervous about the size of the fetus’ head?
If she has reservations, she does not express them this week.
Who's in the third-season title credits?
Jennifer Garner. Ron Rifkin. Michael Vartan. Carl Lumbley. Kevin Weisman. Melissa George (though she's not in the opener). Grug Grunberg. David Anders (though he's not in the opener). And Victor Garber.
What’s good?
Sloane. Jack. Flinkman & Carrie. The music.
What’s not so good?
All the time we have to spend with some knife-weilding European accent-man we’ve never seen before. Sloane’s lame-ass explanation of what “The Telling” does (he better be lying). Tonight’s episode isn’t weak, exactly, but it is the weakest Abrams-scripted episode to date. “I have a lot more than a million questions. I wish I only had a million questions,” goes one of Syd’s better lines this week. “Where's my father? Or my mom? Have you heard from her since Mexico City? Vaughn said Will's alive. If there was a fire in my apartment, if he thought I was dead, how did Will survive? And where is he? And Francie -- is she dead? Did they find her body, too?” Dixon could answer most, if not all, of these questions quickly and easily. It seems bizarre, especially given the “leverage” she acquires this episode, that we don’t get all her answers by episode’s end.
How does it end, spoiler-boy?
”No!” gasps Syd.
Herc’s rating for “Alias” 3.1?
***
The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
***** better than we deserve
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins
9 p.m. Sunday. ABC.
I am – Hercules!!
