Chapter 17
“Lauren you have to be kidding, this is not his fault, he’s doing it because Jessica asked him to” Sydney tried to explain.
“Jessica asked him to put you in his clothes?” Lauren shot Vaughn a glare.
“Lauren why are you trying to make this into something that it’s not. She’s the mother of my children, that’s all she is” Michael told her, his heart breaking as the words came out of his mouth.
Sydney closed her eyes and blinked hard, a wave of pain running over her chest from having heard him say those words again.
“…I mean, we’re friends and in all honesty, I love her like I always have, she will always be a huge part of my life and I made that clear to you when we became serious. Sydney and anything to do with my kids will always come before everything else!” Vaughn told her.
“Make your choice Michael, it’s me or them” Lauren stated coldly.
“Them” Vaughn told her with a shrug.
“What did you just say?” Lauren asked him.
“I picked my kids and Sydney, now, considering you put yourself in this position I would like your things out of my house by the end of the day” Vaughn told her.
“Michael!” Lauren pleaded.
“No, Lauren, you did this to yourself, not me. So deal with it and leave so I can talk with Sydney” Vaughn told her and nodded his head towards the door.
He watched her walk out; he had spent the last year and a half with her but he knew his heart had never truly been with her, he also knew that it never would be.
“I’m sorry” Sydney whispered.
“Don’t be” Vaughn smiled as he took a seat at the edge of her bed.
“I just aided in the breakup of you and Lauren” Sydney sighed.
“It was inevitable” Vaughn shrugged.
“Michael, don’t act like this was planned” Sydney told him, tilting her head slightly to the right.
“It wasn’t planned. But Syd…can we not talk about it?” Vaughn asked her.
“Whatever you want” Sydney smiled at him.
“Can we talk about us…I mean…where we started…where we went wrong…everything in between?” Vaughn asked her, he leaned his head back against his neck, Sydney recognized it as something he always did to crack his neck when his back was tense.
“You’re tense.” Sydney commented.
“What?” Vaughn asked her with confusion.
“You always crack your neck like that when you’re tense” Sydney told him with a smile. “You’ve done that same thing since we were kids”
“Your right…sometimes I forget how long we’ve known each other” Vaughn laughed.
“Yeah, me too, it all just blurs into this mass of emotion” Sydney smiled.
“Do you ever really think about what Jess says when she’s screaming at us?” Vaughn asked her more seriously.
“When she’s telling us she hates us or when she’s telling us we’re lying to ourselves?” Sydney asked him.
“Both” Vaughn told her.
“I never stop thinking about it”
Chapter 18
Sydney and Vaughn sat in a comfortable silence for about 20 minutes before either of them spoke again, they were both trying to figure out where exactly things had gone wrong, I mean, it was easy to say it happened when they had lost the baby, but they couldn’t blame it all on a child. Vaughn had started spending more time at work; Sydney had been spending countless hours in front of her computer, trying to get her business going. When Vaughn was home Sydney was working until all hours of the night and she would pour herself into bed at 4:30 and when Sydney was home, waiting for Vaughn he would come home at 3:00 and work until he had to go back into the office the next morning.
*Flashback*
“Where have you been?” Sydney asked as she sat in front of the fire, back facing him, it was nearly 2:30 in the morning and Vaughn was making a feeble attempt at sneaking into the house.
“At work, why are you still up?” he asked, she still didn’t turn to face him.
“I was waiting for my husband to come home from work. He promised his kids that he would watch a movie with them” Sydney told him, trying to keep her voice steady, she didn’t want him to know that he had been crying.
“I’m sorry, I got caught up in that case” Vaughn tried to explain as he walked into the family room where Sydney was sitting with her legs curled up underneath her, she had a cup of tea in her hands and she was wearing a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt with her long cream coloured silk robe.
“I know, and that excuse works with me. But it doesn’t work with your kids Michael” Sydney told him sadly.
“I know, and I will make it up to them, I promise. Syd, will you just come to bed?” Vaughn extended his hand to her.
“No, I, I think I’m just going to go into my office and work ok?” Sydney told him as she stood up with her tea and wiped her eyes gently before walking quickly into her office, he heard the door close, and he heard the sobs that came after it, those hurt him like a bullet straight into his heart.
“Syd” he called. It was no use, she couldn’t hear him, she didn’t want to hear him, and she was right, there was a point where the excuses became old.
*End Flashback*
“What you thinking about?” Vaughn asked as she came out of her thoughts.
“Those nights” Sydney told him sadly.
“The ones where we’d fight?” Vaughn asked her.
“Vaughn, we never really fought, we simply didn’t speak. I mean, you’d come home and try to apologize and I’d just up and leave, go into my office and sleep in my chair” Sydney told him.
“And then when I woke up to go to work, every time you were in there all night, I’d walk in quietly, kiss your forehead, tell you how much I loved you and pull a blanket over your shoulders” Vaughn sighed.
“And then I’d wake up, remember everything and I’d call you to apologize” Sydney sighed.
“And we did that so many times until one day you didn’t call. I think that’s when I realized it was coming to an end” Vaughn sighed and nodded slightly.
“I knew it too, and then that night we planned Santa Barbara and everything seemed right in the world” Sydney smiled softly.
“Yeah, things were right for a while. I really thought we were going to work out” Vaughn sighed sadly.
“So did I, and then I lost the baby” Sydney whispered as she tried her hardest not to break down and cry.
“Sydney, I didn’t tell you this then…but it wasn’t your fault, I know I made you feel like it was, but it was never your fault” Vaughn told her.
“If I had been more careful Vaughn, we might…” Sydney began.
“Don’t Syd, let’s just not do that ok? We can’t change it. We both lost a baby that we loved so much and it tore us apart inside and out. I never should have left you” Vaughn told her.
“I wish you never had” Sydney began to sob.
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