Raindrops
Author: Me, JuJu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst
Pairing: S/V
Disclaimer: I don’t own ALIAS. I’m not trying to make money, or breaching Copyright or anything else that I could be accused of, so please don’t take offence.
Final word count: 2,598 words
Summary: When called upon, one must face the consequences of their actions… but must it come to this?
A/N: Ever posted something that is spur of the moment, unplanned, non-beta’d and something you’re extremely scared of? Well shove over, now it’s my turn
And oh boy, is it a scary thing to do *gulps* h34r:
It’s quite ummm… *searches for the right word* sensual? :blush2: *blushes profusely* God, I’m such a dork :mellow: But it is; it’s a lot more sensual than anything I’ve ever written and it seems like such a change from the light hearted humour in Shattered Illusions *nod*
Yeah, I’m just going to… uhh… go hide
Please note: This is a one-parter, nothing more.
Raindrops
“The sanctity of this agency requires the sacrifice of some personal freedoms.” – Arvin Sloane
* * * *
Drip-drip-drip. Raindrops gently beat against the window; one after the other, accenting the miserable and somewhat chilly day outside. Your eyes rest upon a single raindrop, hanging teasingly on the window, and as it slowly slides down the window, your eyes watch its trail and let out a small trail of moisture themselves.
We were so stupid.
These four words have been repeating themselves in your head for the past few days, over and over, an endless mantra of frustration. And although you yearn to let them go, to rid your mind of the pain they bring, the words seem to have embossed themselves into your mind. Whether your eyes are open or closed, the words have imprinted themselves into your mind’s eye and there is no escape.
Escape. Isn’t that where all this started? A chance to escape the mixed-up world the two of you had found yourselves the centre of; a chance to escape to a temporary heaven of love, lust and longing. Yet in reality, it wasn’t that at all. What had seemed like such an innocent question had somehow turned into so much more.
“Listen, uh, do you want to go to dinner? When we were driving into town I saw this place. Rousseau, I think it's called.”
The look in his eyes had said it all. Those two sparkling emeralds had pleaded with your own pools of brown and you had found yourself surrendering to your heart for the first time in a long time.
You had said yes.
You had said yes. More beads threaten to fall out of your eyes as you remember your foolish decision.
In that moment, the two had forgotten that you were handler and asset. You had both ripped the rule book to shreds. All you remembered was that you were a man and a woman in want of each other, in need of each other. What you had failed to remember was that in the world you lived in, no matter what you did, where you went, someone would and could always find you. And that’s what had happened.
“Tell me about your pets.”
“What?”
“Your pets. I want to know about every pet you ever had.”
It was the romantic setting of the atmosphere that made you let yourself go; that made you believe that perhaps, just perhaps, for one night you could let the real you shine through and give in to longing. The wine, the food, the music. It all mixed together in sweet harmony for the one night the two of you discarded any barriers between and didn’t try to stop what was inevitably going to come.
“So I heard you on the phone with base ops. Your code name is Boy Scout?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
It was the thirst of the moment, the hunger to know every detail about each other. That thirst had driven you both to this moment and you both knew that there was no turning back. A year of pent up passion had driven the two of you to this moment, and for once, you were both prepared to fulfil your satisfaction, no matter what the cost.
“Did you ask him to do that?”
“There are so many issues with this, I don’t know where to begin.”
“Hold on a second. I think we should have an open mind about this.”
“An open mind.”
“It’d be rude to overlook such a generous offer without proper consideration.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Okay.”
“But there are clearly issues.”
“Yes. I don’t disagree.”
“Okay.”
You had both come so far. The line that should never have been crossed was at least a mile behind you and the look in his eyes showed suppressed desire for you, a sparkling longing that told you how much he wanted to go up into that room to you. You were sure that your eyes reflected the same heated passion and in that one look, the two of you came to a mutual understanding; whatever happened this night would be your secret, no one was to know about it.
You had said yes.
You had said yes. Another decision made in the heat of the moment; another foolish mistake.
You take a deep breath, the sound of the raindrops outside still resonating through your ears as you remember how the excitement had raged through you, a burning fire that didn’t die down for the remainder of the night.
He had taken your hand; his beautiful, soft hand had taken yours. Something that had happened before, but this time was different. No longer was it the helping hand, gently guiding through the tears, the turmoil and the trying of your world, it was now a hand that was leading you to a place where you both wanted to be, needed to be. His hand was leading you upstairs.
There was no fear between the two of you. For what was about to happen was so intense, so beautiful, the only emotion running through the two of was an aching desire about to be met.
“We’re here.”
“We’re here.”
Those whispered words had been a way of readying the both of you for what was to come. Because you were there. You were finally there. You were in the burning embers of passion and so intense was the chemistry, the two of you shivered. As your eyes locked, as green met brown, you both knew that there was absolutely no turning back now. Not when you had come this far. A rush of excitement ran through the two of you as the two of realised that this was it. This was it. This one moment was a years worth of longing looks, of tingly touches and of burning desire.
Your hands met, entwined together, a perfect fit as he drew you close, your body moulding into his, another perfect fit, your eyes never leaving each other’s. The electricity in the air was almost too heavy for you to bear as his hands ran over your arms and settled in the small of your back.
No words were spoken as his mouth slowly, almost tantalisingly came towards yours, your heart beating loudly in anticipation. As his lips met yours, the passion was so intense that you almost passed out as the two of you explored each other’s mouths with growing desire.
Lips and hands were everywhere as the two of you stumbled towards the bed never breaking contact, feeling almost as though the touch of the other was more than oxygen for your deprived lungs, it was life. He quickly had become your life, and you his. And the passion throughout the night only accentuated that fact.
“You’re so beautiful.”
You close your eyes and remember how electric his hands had felt that night, how he slowly yet determinedly marked his territory and found how to please you. You remember his whispered words of love in your ear, his breath hot against your cheek. You remember how your skin burned as his lips caressed it over and over. You remember the look in his eyes, of longing, of lust and of love. Yes, you saw love in his eyes and you were sure in your heart that he loved you and you loved him.
It was a night of more than just heated passion; it was a night of coming together; two long lost jigsaw pieces coming together at last, a joining of souls. For the first time in a long time, you felt complete. You had spent so much time searching for that lost part of you, and in that one night, you had not only found that missing piece, but so much more. You had found love. You had found true love; the kind of love that only comes once in a lifetime, if it even decides to show its face.
It was to be a night of no regrets, a night to look back upon fondly and smile at. It was to be a night that the two of you would remember as long as you lived, a night that burned deeply into each of your souls.
But by a cruel twist of fate, it had turned into a night of regret. For at the same time as it was the most beautiful night of your life, a night that was to be shared by the two of you and never spoken about to anyone else, what the two had failed to remember was that although you were caught up in the heated moment, there were forces in the evil world you lived in. Forces that knew everything about you. Forces that could and would find out what had happened that night.
And they did.
The raindrops continue to fall as you stare blankly out the window and the memories continue to flood your numb and cold soul, memories of the morning after. Memories of that pleasant feeling of laying next to the one you loved, of feeling utter bliss and happiness.
“How are we going to stay awake today?”
“Who cares?”
“Vaughn?
“How come you never call me Michael?”
“I do sometimes. Vaughn?”
“What?”
“I’m-”
You were going to tell him you loved him. You were going to tell him that you needed him with ever fibre of your being, that you were completely lost without him, that the world made no sense without his smile, his touch, his kiss. You had all the words ready and as he looked at you with those reverent eyes filled with pure adoration, you thought your heart could burst with happiness. You were ready at the go; you were ready to finally admit your true feelings to him.
But your beeper went off.
And in those few seconds of that harsh beep piercing the comfortable, loving silence, the two of you came to another mutual understanding. Your night of passion was over. It was something to be treasured for the rest of your lives, but not to be spoken of until the evil forces that pinned the two of you into this cruel life were eliminated, until it was safe. The beeper was a way of reminding you that although the night had been the best night the two of you had ever experienced, it was now time to return to the real world, the world of cruel, twisted lies, the very world that would kill the two of you in an instant if it knew of what had taken place that night.
You dressed each other slowly, agonisingly slowly, in a small attempt to make the moment last as long as each other, neither wanting to let go but both knowing that you had to.
You took one last look into each other’s eyes as he gathered you into his strong arms once more and whispered words of hope into your ear, words of promise that this was a foreword of what was to come, that there was something more to come out of this. Tears fell from both your eyes as you shared one last deep kiss and parted ways with a promise of tomorrow, a promise that this was not the end.
It was the last time you ever saw him.
“Joey’s Pizza?”
“Sorry. Wrong number.”
Numbly, you recall the rush of happiness at hearing the familiar phrase at the other end of the line. You remember how you happily checked your appearance in the car mirror before slowly walking into that musty old warehouse. You remember feeling anxious; would your relationship be different now? How were the two of you supposed to meet professionally now? Was it possible to juggle a personal and professional life at the same time? Yet you had dismissed this thought immediately. Both of you knew very well that if anyone was to find out what had happened the night before, you would both regret it till your dying day.
That was your last thought before being met with no, not the green eyed love of your life, but your father. Your father. You had no time to assess the situation, but one look at your father’s grave face and you knew your worst fear had been come true.
No. No. No. No. This is not happening.
The sound of your heart breaking echoed throughout the room as you started shaking uncontrollably.
“Vaughn’s dead.”
You fell against one of the chain-link fence as your mind started spinning and tears started flowing freely against your cheeks.
“Sydney, I’m sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Your father’s words echoed again and again through your head as your grief started to take over your body and you fell to the floor, barely aware of your father’s arms catching you and holding you tight.
The rain is falling harder against the window, as are your tears. You barely remember the few days after that. You remember numbness, and a feeling of emptiness, a piece of you that can never be brought back. For a piece of you died with him. A love lost is never something easy to go through, but to lose a soulmate; a soulmate lost is losing yourself. A soulmate lost is something that tears you into pieces; a soulmate lost is a sense of emptiness, a void inside you that can never be found again.
The raindrops continue to rain, the tears continue to flow as images flash through your mind.
Flash.
Your mother, tears in her eyes as the news was related to her.
“Sydney… oh God, Sydney...”
Flash.
Weiss’s stuttered words, his face crumpling and your heart breaking along with him.
“He… he was my… he was my best friend…”
Flash.
Will’s shocked face and comforting embrace as you manage to squeeze the words out through your tears.
“Oh God, Sydney… Syd, come here.”
Flash.
Sloane’s concerned face when you walked into SD-6 the next day, using every ounce of your willpower to not rip him apart, limb my limb.
“Sydney, I can tell something’s wrong. You can talk to me.”
Flash.
The grave face of the minister at the funeral.
“Michael Vaughn was a patriot. His death was a tragedy.”
There was once a reason to keep fighting; you were once armed with the knowledge that once you had destroyed SD-6, the two of you would have the chance to be together, to look at each other in public, to share many more nights of passion.
But that has all been lost. What could have been is now gone forever, never to come back. You will never stare into his emerald eyes again; you will never see his knee-weakening smile, you will never feel his burning touch against your skin, you will never feel his lips kiss you in a way that you have never been kissed before. You will never see him again.
If you close your eyes and wish, for an instant, you can just feel his breath on your face, swoon as his lips kiss your neck, gaze into his loving eyes. And you wish and pray that you can have it all again. Just once again. Just once more smile. One more touch. One more kiss. And maybe that way, your heart could become somewhat more whole than the fragile, lifeless muscle it is now, beating to keep you alive, but just barely.
But he’s gone. Your heart is still broken. The raindrops still fall.
FIN
Author: Me, JuJu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst
Pairing: S/V
Disclaimer: I don’t own ALIAS. I’m not trying to make money, or breaching Copyright or anything else that I could be accused of, so please don’t take offence.
Final word count: 2,598 words
Summary: When called upon, one must face the consequences of their actions… but must it come to this?
A/N: Ever posted something that is spur of the moment, unplanned, non-beta’d and something you’re extremely scared of? Well shove over, now it’s my turn
And oh boy, is it a scary thing to do *gulps* h34r:It’s quite ummm… *searches for the right word* sensual? :blush2: *blushes profusely* God, I’m such a dork :mellow: But it is; it’s a lot more sensual than anything I’ve ever written and it seems like such a change from the light hearted humour in Shattered Illusions *nod*
Yeah, I’m just going to… uhh… go hide
Please note: This is a one-parter, nothing more.
Raindrops
“The sanctity of this agency requires the sacrifice of some personal freedoms.” – Arvin Sloane
* * * *
Drip-drip-drip. Raindrops gently beat against the window; one after the other, accenting the miserable and somewhat chilly day outside. Your eyes rest upon a single raindrop, hanging teasingly on the window, and as it slowly slides down the window, your eyes watch its trail and let out a small trail of moisture themselves.
We were so stupid.
These four words have been repeating themselves in your head for the past few days, over and over, an endless mantra of frustration. And although you yearn to let them go, to rid your mind of the pain they bring, the words seem to have embossed themselves into your mind. Whether your eyes are open or closed, the words have imprinted themselves into your mind’s eye and there is no escape.
Escape. Isn’t that where all this started? A chance to escape the mixed-up world the two of you had found yourselves the centre of; a chance to escape to a temporary heaven of love, lust and longing. Yet in reality, it wasn’t that at all. What had seemed like such an innocent question had somehow turned into so much more.
“Listen, uh, do you want to go to dinner? When we were driving into town I saw this place. Rousseau, I think it's called.”
The look in his eyes had said it all. Those two sparkling emeralds had pleaded with your own pools of brown and you had found yourself surrendering to your heart for the first time in a long time.
You had said yes.
You had said yes. More beads threaten to fall out of your eyes as you remember your foolish decision.
In that moment, the two had forgotten that you were handler and asset. You had both ripped the rule book to shreds. All you remembered was that you were a man and a woman in want of each other, in need of each other. What you had failed to remember was that in the world you lived in, no matter what you did, where you went, someone would and could always find you. And that’s what had happened.
“Tell me about your pets.”
“What?”
“Your pets. I want to know about every pet you ever had.”
It was the romantic setting of the atmosphere that made you let yourself go; that made you believe that perhaps, just perhaps, for one night you could let the real you shine through and give in to longing. The wine, the food, the music. It all mixed together in sweet harmony for the one night the two of you discarded any barriers between and didn’t try to stop what was inevitably going to come.
“So I heard you on the phone with base ops. Your code name is Boy Scout?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
It was the thirst of the moment, the hunger to know every detail about each other. That thirst had driven you both to this moment and you both knew that there was no turning back. A year of pent up passion had driven the two of you to this moment, and for once, you were both prepared to fulfil your satisfaction, no matter what the cost.
“Did you ask him to do that?”
“There are so many issues with this, I don’t know where to begin.”
“Hold on a second. I think we should have an open mind about this.”
“An open mind.”
“It’d be rude to overlook such a generous offer without proper consideration.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Okay.”
“But there are clearly issues.”
“Yes. I don’t disagree.”
“Okay.”
You had both come so far. The line that should never have been crossed was at least a mile behind you and the look in his eyes showed suppressed desire for you, a sparkling longing that told you how much he wanted to go up into that room to you. You were sure that your eyes reflected the same heated passion and in that one look, the two of you came to a mutual understanding; whatever happened this night would be your secret, no one was to know about it.
You had said yes.
You had said yes. Another decision made in the heat of the moment; another foolish mistake.
You take a deep breath, the sound of the raindrops outside still resonating through your ears as you remember how the excitement had raged through you, a burning fire that didn’t die down for the remainder of the night.
He had taken your hand; his beautiful, soft hand had taken yours. Something that had happened before, but this time was different. No longer was it the helping hand, gently guiding through the tears, the turmoil and the trying of your world, it was now a hand that was leading you to a place where you both wanted to be, needed to be. His hand was leading you upstairs.
There was no fear between the two of you. For what was about to happen was so intense, so beautiful, the only emotion running through the two of was an aching desire about to be met.
“We’re here.”
“We’re here.”
Those whispered words had been a way of readying the both of you for what was to come. Because you were there. You were finally there. You were in the burning embers of passion and so intense was the chemistry, the two of you shivered. As your eyes locked, as green met brown, you both knew that there was absolutely no turning back now. Not when you had come this far. A rush of excitement ran through the two of you as the two of realised that this was it. This was it. This one moment was a years worth of longing looks, of tingly touches and of burning desire.
Your hands met, entwined together, a perfect fit as he drew you close, your body moulding into his, another perfect fit, your eyes never leaving each other’s. The electricity in the air was almost too heavy for you to bear as his hands ran over your arms and settled in the small of your back.
No words were spoken as his mouth slowly, almost tantalisingly came towards yours, your heart beating loudly in anticipation. As his lips met yours, the passion was so intense that you almost passed out as the two of you explored each other’s mouths with growing desire.
Lips and hands were everywhere as the two of you stumbled towards the bed never breaking contact, feeling almost as though the touch of the other was more than oxygen for your deprived lungs, it was life. He quickly had become your life, and you his. And the passion throughout the night only accentuated that fact.
“You’re so beautiful.”
You close your eyes and remember how electric his hands had felt that night, how he slowly yet determinedly marked his territory and found how to please you. You remember his whispered words of love in your ear, his breath hot against your cheek. You remember how your skin burned as his lips caressed it over and over. You remember the look in his eyes, of longing, of lust and of love. Yes, you saw love in his eyes and you were sure in your heart that he loved you and you loved him.
It was a night of more than just heated passion; it was a night of coming together; two long lost jigsaw pieces coming together at last, a joining of souls. For the first time in a long time, you felt complete. You had spent so much time searching for that lost part of you, and in that one night, you had not only found that missing piece, but so much more. You had found love. You had found true love; the kind of love that only comes once in a lifetime, if it even decides to show its face.
It was to be a night of no regrets, a night to look back upon fondly and smile at. It was to be a night that the two of you would remember as long as you lived, a night that burned deeply into each of your souls.
But by a cruel twist of fate, it had turned into a night of regret. For at the same time as it was the most beautiful night of your life, a night that was to be shared by the two of you and never spoken about to anyone else, what the two had failed to remember was that although you were caught up in the heated moment, there were forces in the evil world you lived in. Forces that knew everything about you. Forces that could and would find out what had happened that night.
And they did.
The raindrops continue to fall as you stare blankly out the window and the memories continue to flood your numb and cold soul, memories of the morning after. Memories of that pleasant feeling of laying next to the one you loved, of feeling utter bliss and happiness.
“How are we going to stay awake today?”
“Who cares?”
“Vaughn?
“How come you never call me Michael?”
“I do sometimes. Vaughn?”
“What?”
“I’m-”
You were going to tell him you loved him. You were going to tell him that you needed him with ever fibre of your being, that you were completely lost without him, that the world made no sense without his smile, his touch, his kiss. You had all the words ready and as he looked at you with those reverent eyes filled with pure adoration, you thought your heart could burst with happiness. You were ready at the go; you were ready to finally admit your true feelings to him.
But your beeper went off.
And in those few seconds of that harsh beep piercing the comfortable, loving silence, the two of you came to another mutual understanding. Your night of passion was over. It was something to be treasured for the rest of your lives, but not to be spoken of until the evil forces that pinned the two of you into this cruel life were eliminated, until it was safe. The beeper was a way of reminding you that although the night had been the best night the two of you had ever experienced, it was now time to return to the real world, the world of cruel, twisted lies, the very world that would kill the two of you in an instant if it knew of what had taken place that night.
You dressed each other slowly, agonisingly slowly, in a small attempt to make the moment last as long as each other, neither wanting to let go but both knowing that you had to.
You took one last look into each other’s eyes as he gathered you into his strong arms once more and whispered words of hope into your ear, words of promise that this was a foreword of what was to come, that there was something more to come out of this. Tears fell from both your eyes as you shared one last deep kiss and parted ways with a promise of tomorrow, a promise that this was not the end.
It was the last time you ever saw him.
“Joey’s Pizza?”
“Sorry. Wrong number.”
Numbly, you recall the rush of happiness at hearing the familiar phrase at the other end of the line. You remember how you happily checked your appearance in the car mirror before slowly walking into that musty old warehouse. You remember feeling anxious; would your relationship be different now? How were the two of you supposed to meet professionally now? Was it possible to juggle a personal and professional life at the same time? Yet you had dismissed this thought immediately. Both of you knew very well that if anyone was to find out what had happened the night before, you would both regret it till your dying day.
That was your last thought before being met with no, not the green eyed love of your life, but your father. Your father. You had no time to assess the situation, but one look at your father’s grave face and you knew your worst fear had been come true.
No. No. No. No. This is not happening.
The sound of your heart breaking echoed throughout the room as you started shaking uncontrollably.
“Vaughn’s dead.”
You fell against one of the chain-link fence as your mind started spinning and tears started flowing freely against your cheeks.
“Sydney, I’m sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Your father’s words echoed again and again through your head as your grief started to take over your body and you fell to the floor, barely aware of your father’s arms catching you and holding you tight.
The rain is falling harder against the window, as are your tears. You barely remember the few days after that. You remember numbness, and a feeling of emptiness, a piece of you that can never be brought back. For a piece of you died with him. A love lost is never something easy to go through, but to lose a soulmate; a soulmate lost is losing yourself. A soulmate lost is something that tears you into pieces; a soulmate lost is a sense of emptiness, a void inside you that can never be found again.
The raindrops continue to rain, the tears continue to flow as images flash through your mind.
Flash.
Your mother, tears in her eyes as the news was related to her.
“Sydney… oh God, Sydney...”
Flash.
Weiss’s stuttered words, his face crumpling and your heart breaking along with him.
“He… he was my… he was my best friend…”
Flash.
Will’s shocked face and comforting embrace as you manage to squeeze the words out through your tears.
“Oh God, Sydney… Syd, come here.”
Flash.
Sloane’s concerned face when you walked into SD-6 the next day, using every ounce of your willpower to not rip him apart, limb my limb.
“Sydney, I can tell something’s wrong. You can talk to me.”
Flash.
The grave face of the minister at the funeral.
“Michael Vaughn was a patriot. His death was a tragedy.”
There was once a reason to keep fighting; you were once armed with the knowledge that once you had destroyed SD-6, the two of you would have the chance to be together, to look at each other in public, to share many more nights of passion.
But that has all been lost. What could have been is now gone forever, never to come back. You will never stare into his emerald eyes again; you will never see his knee-weakening smile, you will never feel his burning touch against your skin, you will never feel his lips kiss you in a way that you have never been kissed before. You will never see him again.
If you close your eyes and wish, for an instant, you can just feel his breath on your face, swoon as his lips kiss your neck, gaze into his loving eyes. And you wish and pray that you can have it all again. Just once again. Just once more smile. One more touch. One more kiss. And maybe that way, your heart could become somewhat more whole than the fragile, lifeless muscle it is now, beating to keep you alive, but just barely.
But he’s gone. Your heart is still broken. The raindrops still fall.
FIN
